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15 Completely Unexpected Tweets That Will Catch You Off Guard

By: In: WTF
15 Completely Unexpected Tweets That Will Catch You Off Guard

For the most part, people love surprises (as long as they’re good ones, of course) and people love to laugh. The good thing about these two things is that they pretty much go hand in hand. A surprise birthday party is sure to be followed by laughter and a good time. However, not all surprises bring happiness. Some of them are more jaw-dropping in a negative way than that of excitement. And that’s exactly where some of the tweets below lead us. You start off thinking things are going comical and in a good direction, then suddenly, the tweet takes a left turn and now you feel bad for laughing. Whoops. From being scolded at in a museum, to washing a car with your dad, take a look at these 15 tweets that took a wrong turn.

15. Washing Car With Your Son

Via: Imgur

Washing your car is a simple routine for most car owners. And, like any other routine, people don’t always seem to enjoy doing it, which is why most of us just fork over the money and have it professionally washed. Sometimes, though, one just needs to add something different into their car washing game. Take this tweet above. At some point, a man decides wash his car with his son. Of course, we’re all imaging a father and son with sponges and a hose, lathering the car up to give it a good shine. But this tweet takes a literal turn… The joke is that the dad is literally washing his car WITH his son. As his son is in place of the sponge. While I don’t think this is the best idea, it sure does make a good joke.

14. A Romantic Proposal? Nope, Something Different…

Via: Nifymag

Imagine that you’re standing on the Eiffel Tower with your significant other. You’re in the most romantic city in the world and it’s reaching sunset. You feel the warmth of your beloved person next to you. In that moment, nothing could be better! This may seem to be the most opportune moment to propose to someone, so this tweeter thought a proposal would have been too predictable. Instead of a speech of undying love, this person got a joke about their partner’s knee being magnetic… GOOD ONE. As comical as this might be to a lot of dads out there (c’mon, this is a great dad joke), this is situation that most significant others would NOT find amusing. Getting engaged is no joke, so if someone felt inspired by this joke of a tweet — proceed with caution.

13. Why Is He Shouting Anyway?

Via: BlazePress

For most people, visiting a museum isn’t the most exciting thing to do. Of course, it’s very educational — you learn new things about history and culture. But some museums are just so boring that you’re literally searching for something to amuse yourself with. One good way to get out of being bored is to actually leave the museum. If you don’t like it there, just go and do something else. But for some people, it’s way too easy to just walk out. In this case, we need to think of a way to entertain ourselves inside the museum. How about… riding the million year old bones of a dinosaur?! After all, there are so many of them (if you’re in the museum of natural history, that is) and it seems like a fun idea.

The only thing that can disrupt your fun in a museum is the security guards they have roaming around. Jeez, can’t they loosen up a bit?

12. These Awkward Goodbyes…

Via: Pinterest

Saying ‘goodbye’ is always so awkward. Sometimes it’s better to look the person in the eyes and tell them how much you appreciate them. While other times, it’s better to hug and kiss them without saying anything at all. After all, you never know for how long you’re going to be separated from the person. You can’t help asking yourself, “What if it’s the last time I see them? Shouldn’t I make this moment memorable?” When you think about it all, saying goodbye can turn into a rather emotional issue — no matter how long the goodbye is.

But when you have to bid farewell to a drive-thru attendant, you shouldn’t make things so complicated. You should just say ‘goodbye’ in plain words, take your food, and go. Or you can always give them a proper handshake.

11. Is This Your Sexual Fantasy As Well?

Via: DailyLolPics

Sexual fantasies run few and far between. It’s hard to even decipher what’s a strange fantasy these days, because fantasies seem to get weirder and weirder. It can be something quite tame like someone enjoying a little role-play, to someone be sexually attracted to mannequins. They can be totally common or totally bizarre. Like, do you remember Ross’ fantasy about Princess Leia in her gold bikini? I bet that’s a pretty common fantasy for those Star Wars fans.

But what if you’re so tired that the only thing you want from your partner is for them to let you have a good long nap to yourself? I know I can’t be alone in saying that’s one sexy fantasy. We live in a world that can be so draining and so time consuming, sometimes a nap is the only thing we can fantasize about that’s quite alright.

10. The Best Answer

Via: TheChive

I don’t know why people bash therapy sometimes. Therapy is not for the weak, it’s for the strong. You can see a therapist for the hard times or just for weekly conversations to kind of slow down and reset. For many, at some point in our lives, therapy may be needed, and it’s nice to answer questions honestly to a complete stranger who won’t judge you.

For example, you might be asked “What would you say to your dad if he were alive today?” An average person would come up with an answer like, “I’d tell him how much I love him or how much I miss him” or “I’d tell I’m sorry for offending him,” those kinds of warmhearted things. Those are the answers any therapist would expect and appreciate. But something tells me the answer “Sorry for cremating you. I honestly thought you were dead” wouldn’t make the therapist take you seriously…

9. Changing A Baby

Via: AuntyAcid

No one likes it when a baby is crying — even the baby’s parents. It’s so hard because we never know what the baby is crying about. Does the baby want to eat? Burp? Or maybe they have a dirty diaper?  Who knows! The latter is the least favorite option for many people, but it’s most likely the problem. It’s a baby, after all, and all they like to do is sleep, eat, and poop.

These days, parental responsibilities are often split between both parents. But back in the day, all the dirty work was left for the momma bear to handle, while the father paid the bills. But what if a parent takes the request to “change the baby” too literally? When a parent asks their significant other to change their child, I don’t think they mean to swap their child with another…I think they mean to change the dirty diaper…

8. A Sign Of Politeness? Hmm…

Via: Nifymag

It’s always nice when someone opens a car door for you. According to the old school rules of etiquette, it’s the man who should do that for their partner. But those are the old days, and women can hold doors for their significant others, too. Opening a door for someone shows respect and simple appreciation. It’s small, but it’s sweet. 

But, in this tweet, I don’t think this is what the average person is thinking when it comes to chivalry. No one would appreciate their partner opening the car door for them mid-drive…at 70 miles per hour. That doesn’t really sound like a token of appreciation. That actually sounds more like attempted murder to us. So, let’s keep car doors closed, and stick to opening doors at restaurants and storefronts instead.

7. Bless You!

Via: BlazePress

Usually, when someone sneezes, we tell them “bless you.” Often, we say this out of habit, not to actually bless the person. It ‘s not like we’re mean or anything, it’s just out of courtesy. But sometimes, saying “Bless you” doesn’t always come at an appropriate moment. Like in the case with this special person. Their ex sneezed and they said “Bless you” automatically, totally forgetting that they were hiding in the bushes. (My guess is that they were keeping a close eye on their ex and forgot that they were borderline stalking them when they blessed them.)

This must have been a creepy surprise for the girl who heard her blessing! I’m wondering what happened next. Did she think that she think the lord came down from the heavens to bless her? Or maybe she checked the bushes to see who was spying on her. Whatever happened, maybe it’s time for this stalker to move on and stop watching their ex.

6. Forever NOT Alone

Via: AwesomeInventions

Who likes it when someone interferes with their personal life? No one! So even when your parent or friend asks you some personal questions, things might feel awkward. For this reason, most people don’t like questions like “When are you gonna get married?” or “Are you thinking about having kids?” Especially when these questions are asked next to someone important to you, like your significant other or even worse… your dog!

How can someone ask you about “being alone forever” when there’s CLEARLY a beautiful fuzzy creature right next to them? It’s impossible to feel lonely when you have a dog as a companion. They support us, listen to us, know when we’re feeling down, and give the best hugs! We prefer dogs over people anyways, so we’re never truly alone as long as we have pets around.

5. GMOs Might Make Your Produce Talk

Via: FunnyJunk

By now most people are aware of GMOs and the effects they have on our planet. It’s a huge debate between local farmers and large corporations, and it’s a fight that is going to go on for awhile. Many people think that eating genetically modified foods is not natural — meaning they worry about the potential effects of bug-repelling crops on their bodies. So should we be surprised if our GMO produce began talking one day? Probably not. Who the hell knows what goes on in those laboratories owned by those billion dollar companies. If veggies started talking to the workers at grocery stores, it would be surprising, but at the same time, it’s probably a long time coming. Now, the question is, would it be ethical to eat talking carrots?

4. When Music Takes You Somewhere Else

Via: Dumpaday

Music is an amazing thing. It can change your mood, it can give you daily inspiration, it can make you work hard, music literally has the power to influence every moment in our day. Like a story, it can take us mentally to another place. That’s the beauty of music. This tweeter, however, gave their example of how music takes them to different places, but their example was much more literal. After hearing Meghan Trainor on the radio, instead of her songs transporting him to another mental realm, her music ended up driving him out of the cafe. I guess he’s not a fan of my girl, Meghan! Hopefully the next cafe they went to had music on that kept them in one place. If not, then that’s one busy day for this coffee drinker.

3. When Switching Seats On A Plane Is A Problem

Via: GDNOnline

How annoying is it to sit on a plane next to a screaming child? Especially if you’re on a long flight and just want to use that time to get some sleep. As soon as you start falling into the arms of Morpheus (please tell me there are some Matrix fans out there), this baby starts screaming. At some point, you get an idea of what you need to do. You should ask the flight attendant if it’s possible to switch your seat. And in most cases, if there are open seats, you can do this. Unless, of course, this baby is yours. 

TBH, I feel really sorry for the parents who have to take little babies with them on a plane. Unless their baby is super calm and can sleep in any condition (which is unlikely), these flights won’t be the most pleasant thing for them. So if I were a flight attendant, I might think about giving this poor parent a chance to get some rest…

2. High Life

Via: BlazePress

So this guy heads out of his office and catches two kids smoking pot nearby. What should he do? Some people would say  that he should either send them away from his office building or tell them how bad the habit can be. Or he may even report these hooligans to the police. But different people come up with different solutions. And for some kinds of people out there, their logic is to join to two potheads!

Now the guy’s boss catches him and these two kids smoking pot outside the office. What do you think will happen next? Will the boss also join these three? Will he fire his employee? Or will he just give the three of them a warning and escort them off the property? Something tells us, from a joke like this, that the boss would probably join the threesome, and the cycle will continue.

1. When You Know You Don’t Want Kids

Via: BoredPanda

So this guy talked it over with his wife whether they want to have kids or not. After weighing all the pros and cons of this big decision, they decided that kids just aren’t in the cards for them. On one hand, I can understand their decision. After all, having kids is a huge responsibility. You have to raise them and teach them to be good and polite. Even if it seems to be enjoyable in theory, it’s the biggest job there is on this planet. But there is a single flaw in the decision making process of this couple. They already have kids. They’re just deciding that they no longer want to have kids.

Will their kids get over the fact that their parents made this decision? UM, probably not! No kids want to be a part of a loving home, only to become orphans because their parents no longer want them! That’s f*cking devastating. I think what these parents need is a week-long vacation, kid free, to get back on track.