This article is for all you smooth cats out there. Whether you’re picking up the ladies or the gentlemen, there’s something about you that’s incredibly irresistible. You know it’s true, too. It’s not your fault that words come out of your mouth smoother than butter on a warm bagel. You can’t help how charming you are! It just comes naturally. If you’re able to charm people by looking at them and can spit out pickup lines like there’s no tomorrow, well slick, you’ll be able to relate to the following 15 images. Heck, you might even get some new material here! Want to learn how to date anyone? Want to learn how to charm anyone? Want to read some ridiculously genius pick up lines? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, you’re in the right place.
15. You’re a beautiful work of art
There are a few things that all Tumblr users love: books, coffee, neon signs, naked pictures and of course, museums. It’s not uncommon to see a long thread of people talking about the same thing for hours upon hours (and yes, they could literally talk about a cup of black coffee for over three hours if you let them). This person wanted someone to take them to the museums to make out with them. Which, to be completely honest, is a really odd place to make out. Don’t you think you’d want to look at the art? Take it all in? Read up on the history? No, apparently. After reading this, someone decided to be the smoothest person on the planet and replied, “But they said to not touch the masterpieces.” Boom. We’re done. Why isn’t anyone this sweet to us? We want to be told that we’re masterpieces, too! Who are you and why aren’t there more people like you in the world?
14. That escalated quickly
Please tell us this wasn’t actually said to someone. What kind of person would say this? Why would they say this, is the better question. There’s smooth… and then there’s borderline creepy AF. We’re pretty sure she’s crossed the line here, but hey, we won’t judge. TBH, If we had the balls to say this to someone, we might. Then again, we sort of respect ourselves a bit too much to throw ourselves out there like this… but hey, to each their own. Either way, we’re applauding her! It takes courage to say something like this! We bet she’s smooth in person, too.
13. This is classic
You couldn’t even guess how many times we’ve done this with our friends in group chats. We know, we know… it’s a total invasion of privacy. It’s not cool for us to take pictures of random people on the side of the road. But… it’s sort of flattering, right? It’s smooth AF when you think about it. Not to mention super sneaky. We feel a rush of energy when we do this sort of thing. Again, not cool. But… whatever, leave us alone! We delete the pictures, we promise! It’s one thing for a normal citizen to do this sort of thing, but when a celebrity does it? Good lord, do we wish we knew what the person they were taking a picture of looked like. We’d like to see this picture and we’d like to know what was said when you sent it to your friends, Harry. Thanks in advance!
12. A level of smooth that we haven’t quite reached yet
First thing we thought of when we saw this? “And I can’t even get a text back.”
In all honesty, this is an over-the-top promposal and we’re not sure if we’d want to get something like this. Can you imagine if he had cut out her body a bit too much? She may have wondered if he was hinting at her weight. But, he got it right, made her happy, got a really cute prom date and made it to our list. Congratulations, dude! We’re almost sort of jealous of these promposals. When we went to high school, we’d either be asked by our locker or get a text message saying “Hey, want to go to prom?” There was no lovey-dovey cut-out poster for us to fit into, there was no catchy rhyme. These kids make us seem like we’re boring. Wait a minute…
11. 21st century smooth
This might not be the smoothest thing you’ve ever seen, but it’s the 21st century and we couldn’t pass this up. Imagine walking down the street and hearing, “Hey! Hey, you! I know you from Instagram!” While this could super flattering in an extremely creepy sort of way, we wouldn’t suggest doing this to someone unless you’ve talked to them online in the past. If you have, well hot dog! You’ll sound like a smooth criminal when you shout this to your online pal. We wish there was more to this story, honestly. It’s hard to believe there isn’t, considering the fact that this guy has over 57 likes on this status. It doesn’t really strike us as a status that you’d see and just like, you know? But who knows, maybe this guy is as smooth online as he is in real life.
10. Sugar, sugar how’d you get so fly?
If there’s one thing we know about Keegan, it’s that he’s large and in charge… of being smooth. His last name is Large, after all! We’ve heard the saying “You can catch flies with honey, but you catch more honey bein’ fly” in the past, but we never thought we’d see this in a yearbook under someone’s senior picture. Then again, that’s what makes Keegan so damn smooth. Though we must say that he doesn’t exactly throw off the “My name’s Keegan, I’m smoother than butter on bread” vibes. He looks a little bit like a nerd. Then again, isn’t it always the nerdy people who get the girls in the movies? Way to go, Keegan. It’s safe to say that we can expect great things from you in the near future.
9. Nice save, bud
Is this ready-to-go excuses why some people call weed “bud”? Because if so, that’s clever AF. Texting your friend (or customer) to ask if they need bud is a lot better than texting them “Need weed?” Plus, this parent was totally thrown off when they read this text. We’re sure their mind went straight to weed (and we’re sure that’s what this guy was asking) but when he said “a buddy,” we lost it. Not to mention the “I heard he lonely AF” part. After saying that, we’re sure the parents believed that he genuinely meant a buddy. Or at least, we hope. Otherwise, we’re not sure if this guy would be hanging out with their son anytime soon! Then again, weed isn’t all that bad and we don’t see a problem with people who smoke it. Unless they’re really young. But, that’s a story for another time.
8. You’ll get the ladies if you keep this up, son!
You know what, Presley? We think you’re a little stud. Even though your team is losing, you’ve managed to keep your game face on. Whether it’s to impress the ladies or to keep team spirit high, we applaud you. Your hobby will probably never change, nor will your ambition to play baseball—we hope! This is probably one of the smoothest things a child could do. Most people join sports in middle/high school to attract their crushes, as well as stay in shape and look appealing to colleges. Even if his team lost the entire game, we know one thing: Presley’s going places. Let’s hope the girls that he likes to talk to enjoy talking to him, as well. How could they not, though?
7. This ought to brighten up your morning!
We’re not sure what it is with baristas, but every time we go to a coffee shop, we get flirted with. They’ll draw hearts next to our names, wink at us while they make our drink and, apparently, some of them even give out secret messages. While this is pretty cute, we don’t recommend doing this to a complete stranger (unless, of course, they seem as into you as you were into them). Otherwise, it’d probably make them feel uncomfortable around you and they might not come back. Or worse, they’d tell your supervisor that you were inappropriate toward them. But, if you’re doing it to your crush, this is absolutely adorable. We’d be lying if we said we weren’t jealous of whoever got this secret message. But hey, there’s still tomorrow! Young love is beautiful, isn’t it? Can you even imagine the butterflies that went through this persons’ stomach after reading this secret message? Where’s the rest of the story? Are you guys married now? TELL US!
6. Ooo, teach us!
We’re sure of one thing for certain, here. This guy does know HTML. However, we’re not sure if he knows how to meet ladies. HTML coding, though? For sure. We’re sure he spends his days surfing the web, writing code and he probably tries to pick up some ladies We can’t see his face, but judging by the way his arm looks and his facial hair is, we’re almost positive he’s over 45. Which is sort of sad when you think about it. He wears shirts like this, yet has no one to go home to at night. Boys, if you’re reading this and you don’t want to end up like this man, we suggest settling down and not running after every attractive person you see. To avoid the fate that this man met, you need to treat one person right and put a ring on it. But, thanks, old man! We needed a good laugh (and we’re sure everyone at the stadium that day enjoyed your shirt, too).
5. That was good
That was the smoothest save we’ve ever seen in our lives. We can’t even imagine how this guy felt after realizing that Sara’s father was the one on the other end of the phone. Look, guys, we get it. You’re anxious to see us. But do you have to be so vulgar all the time? Granted, this young man took it like a champ. We wish we were able to see what Sara’s father said after he told him that it’s karaoke night. Also, why was Sara’s father on her phone? If he trusts her enough to date, wouldn’t you think that he trusts her to use a phone? Regardless, this is an awkward (yet incredibly smooth) conversation that we’re happy to have seen. The picture at the bottom is a nice added bonus, too. We bet that’s what Sara’s boyfriend felt like after coming up with this story.
4. We volunteer as tribute!
Aw, the start of young love! Remember the days where you just didn’t know how to do the whole dating thing? If you were anything like us, you were awkward AF. Most of the time, people who are awkward are anything but smooth. Sure, we’ll try to be incredibly smooth from time to time, but the words kind of run off our tongue and leave us feeling like a total dumbass. For this person, it’s quite the opposite. We’d be lying if we said that we weren’t jealous of this conversation. Isn’t there anyone out there who could teach us how to be smoother than butter? We need some lessons from this person. Ah, Tumblr. You’ve yet to fail us when it comes to things like this.
3. Be our guest
Up until this image, we never thought about this intriguing fact. How strange is it that you literally taste your tongue all day, every day? What’s weirder is you can’t stop tasting it. Unless it’s cut out or you’re dead, but let’s not get morbid. We’re trying to be smooth here!
What would you do if someone offered to taste your tongue? While this image is meant to be cute (and it is, sorta) if someone randomly came up to you and said “Mind if I taste your tongue?” you probably wouldn’t feel the butterflies that this person felt in this moment. You’d run away or punch them square in the face! At least, we’d do one of the two. This was pretty smooth, though. Kudos to whoever came up with this comeback on the spot. We just hope you don’t offer this to everyone you meet.
DAMN. If someone said this to us, we’re not sure we’d be able to refuse. Imagine the rush that this person felt after getting an answer like that. Picture yourself lying in bed, bored AF and all of a sudden someone super smooth welcomes you to their bed (so you can be bored together, of course). What would you say? What would you do? How on earth could you deny them? Unless, of course, they were creepy AF or something. Then we’d hope that you’d deny them in a heartbeat. If your crush said this, though, you’d feel the butterflies and might even feel light-headed for a while. We have to agree with the third comment here, though. We feel like everyone on Tumblr became smooth overnight. This website is filled with people that’ll make your heart skip a beat—be careful!
1. Yas girl
When someone says “Your crush is coming,” what’s the first thing you do? Do you stay calm, cool and collected while putting a huge smile on your face? Do you fix your hair and say hello in a gentle voice? Or, do you act like this little kid and show them that you’re cool AF to be around? If you act 10 times cooler than you normally would around them, congratulations, you’re smoother than most people. Most people are embarrassed to show their crush their real personality—which is something we’ve never quite understood, to be honest. Your personality (whether it’s odd or charming) is what makes you so unique. If you’ve got a freak flag hiding in your closet, open the door and unleash the crazy. Show your crush who you are and go after them. Be the weirdo that they’ll come to love (you know, eventually). Don’t hold back!
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