Yard sales are the truest embodiment of the old cliché, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” Some people love going to yard sales and rummaging through piles of cast-offs in hopes of finding a diamond in the rough, while others love to hold their own yard sales so that they can declutter and maybe make a few bucks in the process. But even those who want nothing to do with peddling things found in the back of a storage shed or scavenging through a neighbor’s hand-me-downs can sometimes be enticed by the likes of a seductive sign. For sheer proof that marketing matters in any entity, here are 15 hilarious yard sale signs that will make anyone want to see what the house down the street has to offer.
15. Vintage ethnic children for sale
When advertising anything for sale, it always helps to be specific and give details of the items available. That’s exactly what this person had in mind when posting a rather lengthy garage sale sign on this power pole. Most likely (or at least hopefully), the use of the word “children” was referring to children’s clothing or other items for children, although “children’s” would have been a better way to convey such. “Vintage” and “ethnic” would describe some of the other items up for grabs. However, these two adjectives placed before the word “children” make for some hilariously misplaced modifiers that sounds as if the yard sale had “vintage, ethnic children” for sale. That’s not too surprising from a person who also advertises “leater” furniture though, right? Forget the fact that “vintage children” is an oxymoron in and of itself, this is so funny that it’s worth checking out.
14. The most interesting yard sale in the world
Speaking of advertising, it never hurts to piggyback on a popular ad campaign, like say, The Most Interesting Man in The World who has been used by one beer company to make its brew look top of the line. In these ads, this Most Interesting Man gloats that he only does certain things, such as drink that particular beer. This family decided to utilize The Most Interesting Man in The World to help promote their yard sale as the only yard sale worth attending, from his point of view. They even used his photo and likeness to seal the deal. Anyone who has seen the commercials with this guy or the memes of him circling around the internet would have to stop by the yard sale if for no other reason than to meet the family who thought of this genius marketing ploy.
13. Hey girl, Ryan will be there!
Employing the use of The Most Interesting Man in The World was clever, but maybe not as clever as employing the use of Ryan Gosling, especially considering that women tend to be the target audience for yard sales. Who could say no to a face like this? Feminist Ryan Gosling memes always start with him saying, “Hey girl,” though the trend has been hacked to have Ryan endorse or say just about anything. In this case, he wanted to go find a matching tea set at the yard sale. Who wouldn’t want to raise a glass to that? Even if this yard sale didn’t have a tea set for sale, it sure has someone behind it with a good sense of humor—and pop culture. Plus, the sign says that credit cards are accepted. The only way this could get better is if it were at Ryan’s own home.
12. Treat yo’ self!
Although everything in a yard sale is essentially used, it is possible to find some decent goods at one. With a lot of looking, a person might even find a special treat. This is especially true for anyone who gets a high off of a good deal or who just enjoys shopping anywhere, anytime. And nobody likes shopping and treating themselves more than Tom and Donna from Parks and Rec. “Treat Yo’ Self Day” was a one in which the duo of friends went out and pampered themselves and bought anything they wanted, no matter how ridiculous of a purchase it may seem. After all, isn’t that exactly what anyone is doing at a yard sale, buying something that probably isn’t needed? But it most likely started as someone else’s treat yo’ self purchase, so let the cycle continue!
11. Hoarder’s paradise
When it comes to yard sales, there are the people who shop at yard sales and the people who have yard sales. Most people tend to lean toward one end of the spectrum. That’s because everyone involved in a yard sale is either trying to declutter his or her home or is looking for more belongings to add to what is probably an already cluttered place. The latter could mean that person is a hoarder, of course. The person behind this yard sale knows that hoarders frequent yard sales and is capitalizing on that. It appears like his or her mom might also have been a hoarder, since the sign starts out by saying that “mom purged” before continuing to advertise that a hoarder’s paradise was just ahead and to the right.
10. Paying off debts
It’s never good when a kid gets in trouble with his or her parents. And the older the kid, often the more creative the punishment (since time out doesn’t work so well on teenagers). This kid obviously had to pay back the cost of the parents’ flatscreen TV that he or she broke. So, what’s a kid to do to come up with some money fast (and legally)? How about sell something? That’s the solution this kid came up with at least. As a pity plea, the sign included the fact that money was needed in order to cover the offense. The irony in all of this is that most of the kid’s items in the yard sale were likely paid for by the parents in the first place. Oh well, whatever it takes to settle the debt!
9. Divorce liquidation sale
Breaking up is hard to do, especially when one person is truly the one at fault. The matter gets even worse when the innocent person didn’t see it coming until it was too late. Now, imagine that the couple is married and the wife catches her husband in the very act of adultery. Of course, we can only imagine the thoughts that rushed through her mind as she discovered his deep, dark secret. All of this led to a nasty divorce, as she decided to get rid of all of his belongings along with him. There’s no doubt she was still very mad and very hurt when she took a Sharpie to this piece of poster board to let the neighborhood know she would be liquidating all of his assets via a yard sale.
8. Left behind treasures
This sign is rather funny to anyone of any religion. To those who believe in the Rapture mentioned in the Bible, it’s funny to think that someone might actually hold such a sale, auctioning off people’s things after they’re gone. To everyone else, it’s funny to think that someone would use this as a gimmick to try and psych people out and take advantage of selling what might be stolen goods. In fact, there’s a good chance that the items in such a sale might actually be stolen. The only thing that might be funnier about such a sign would be if it were located outside of a church. Regardless of who made this sign and why he or she made it, we’re pretty sure it caused a few people to sweat up a storm.
7. Deals from dead people
One common type of yard sale is an estate sale in which all of a person’s belongings are sold or even auctioned off to the highest bidders. Of course, that usually means that whoever’s belongings are being sold has recently died. So, estate sale is really just a more elegant way of saying what this sign says, “dead people’s things for sale.” Some people might not believe in the Rapture, but everyone believes in death. That means the items for sale here aren’t stolen, just inherited—whew. Nobody should feel bad about buying dead people’s things. After all, it’s not like they’re going to miss them. Even better, the dead people can’t get offended at the person having the yard sale for making such a sign. With a sign like this, everyone wins!
6. Here for the beer
We’ve seen plenty of examples of people using pop culture or pity for their current circumstances to try and entice others to stop at their yard sales, but this one takes the cake—or rather, the beer. Who could turn down a free beer? The sign has it written clearly right under the words “garage sale.” Plus, there is no fine print that says anything like “with purchase” beneath the part about getting free beer. So, technically, a person could go to the garage sale, hang out for a little while, drink a cold one and then leave empty handed (and slightly buzzed). Most people would feel a little guilty without buying at least a dollar’s worth of something though, which is exactly what the person who made this sign is counting on happening. That’s some pretty smart reverse phycology.
5. Uterus retirement party
One of the most popular items sold at yard sales is baby items, or baby “crap,” or children’s things or “children” as in the ambiguous vintage, ethnic sign. That’s why it helps to list that on a yard sale sign. This person took it one step further than that by not only advertising that she had “baby crap” for sale but also noting that this was all due to her uterus retiring. So, in a way, this is similar to the “dead people’s things for sale” sign. She and her uterus no longer have a need for all of this crap, so she has decided to pass it on to another woman who can use it for her own babies—or vintage, ethnic children. It’s also similar in the fact that nobody should care for taking all of this baby “crap” away from this woman. They are actually doing her a service.
4. Sex sells
There’s a saying in advertising that isn’t very long and gets right to the point: “Sex sells.” Just watch any amount of TV without actually DVRing through the commercials to see how sex really can help sell anything at all, from hairspray to hamburgers. Whoever had this yard sale knew the trick to getting people’s attention, which is why “sex” is written in bright red at the very top of this sign. Sex has nothing to do with this yard sale, and the person who made the sign is quick0 to admit that. It’s all just a gimmick to get everyone’s attention. It might seem weird, and even a little R-rated, but there’s no denying that it worked. Maybe some people didn’t just read the word “sex” and skip right down to the address. That might lead to some problems.
3. You still have a chance
Yard sales are full of bargains. Well, that is, for those who think there is anything at them worth having. Everything is sold at much lower prices than you could find the item new, and sometimes things are even offered for free. For instance, the yard sale that offered up free beer to its patrons. When a big-ticket item is featured in a yard sale, it’s always good to list a few details along with the price. Whoever decided to part with this cardio machine did just that. It’s amazing that this item would be free, but even more amazing that the former owner would admit to being fat and lazy. You have to love the included encouragement, though—”Hey, potential owner! You still have a chance to not end up like me!” Isn’t that nice?
2. Just give it away
It’s one thing to find a rare gem (or gym) like the cardio machine for free. But it’s really cool to stumble upon an entire yard sale of free items, even if those items might be so worthless to the previous owner that they are classified as feces. Regardless of the second word on this cardboard sign, everyone seems to be focused in on the word “free.” Otherwise, why would so many people want to rummage through something that sounds so appealing. This sign, and the pile of random crap on the curb, is the best proof possible that anything will sell if the price is right. The guy in the background seems to agree, as he sits on the porch and smiles at his trash becoming someone else’s treasure.
1. Going to jail sale
It’s true that when a person dies, he or she leaves behind everything. The same might be argued for the Rapture. So, the dead people’s things and Rapture signs totally make sense. Another scenario in which a person must leave everything behind is if he or she is going to jail. Nobody seems to think of selling off all belongings before going to the slammer, but it makes sense if the sentence is long enough. The downside to this yard sale would be that it’s likely held at a criminal’s home. By the last line on the sign, it appears that the offender may have been a drug dealer. We’re hoping “Coke” is referring to a cold drink rather than a soft snort, but who can know for sure without going to find out. Maybe it’s safer to follow the other sign on this pole and make money instead with diabetic test strips.