Parents can be so special sometimes. And nothing is more surprising than when parents text too much information to their children. Maybe they think that their children can handle the news or they no longer care. Maybe TMI is just easier to deliver through a text message than in person. Whatever the reason, these parents have no qualms about sharing the most intimate and embarrassing details with their unfortunate children. Their kids will never be able to un-see these text messages, and that is a real tragedy. Parents need to learn to hold some things back. Even when their kids are adults, they don’t need to know exactly what dad does to mom in the bedroom. Please, for the love of all this is good and holy, keep some things private. These parents have no intention of doing that.
15. The salt candle aphrodisiac
We have never heard of the salt candle trick. Apparently, it is supposed to inspire the libido. This person’s dad is very excited about the prospect of getting some nookie from his wife tonight and wanted to update his child that the parents would be making waves. They must have been having some problems in the bedroom, and the salt candle gave mom some hot dreams about her husband. But really, mom and dad don’t need to inform their children about this development. Great for the parents that they’re spicing up their intimate lives, but it’s not something that their children really want to know the details. It’s almost as bad as walking in on our parents doing it. The visuals we get from this text message might make us barf a little in our mouths.
14. Mom’s clean bill of health
Well, we suppose it’s good that mom got a clean bill of health from her doctor. But did we need to learn all the nitty-gritty details from what her gyno told her? NO, we didn’t. This is another parent who doesn’t understand the concept of TMI and shared way too much with their children. And she’s also trying to be cool, using the word “vajayjay” like she did. Mom tries to use slang sometimes, and it can usually be hilarious. But in this context, mom went way too far. Now we know why she went to the doctor and what she and dad plan to do. Our older parents can go at it like rabbits if they want to. We just don’t need to know about it.
13. Dad has some butt problems
Dads can be so immature sometimes. This dad seems intent on repeating that word until his kid goes to get the cream. Can you believe how the dad just started the conversation? That has to be weird to be in that family. No one begins a conversation by talking about their itchy private parts, but this dad apparently does. And after his child kindly asked him to stop talking about it, he went into repetition mode like little kids will do in order to be as annoying as possible. Dad should get his own hemorrhoid cream if he’s going to act like that. And he could have easily requested the cream without going into the details about his butt problems. This dad knows nothing of TMI.
12. Mom and dad got their groove back
Mom must not have any friends that she can gush to about her hanky-panky with her husband. So, she did the next best thing and texted one of their children. Wait… no, that’s bad. Her child is now traumatized to be getting this text from mom. We know that our parents bone, but we don’t want to know all about it. That’s TMI to the 10,000th degree. Parents need to keep some things to themselves, and this is one of those things. Mom needs to find some other mom friends to talk about her revived bedroom activities instead of texting the details to her children. Even if they’re adults, they don’t want to have inside knowledge of what their parents are doing these days to spice things up.
11. Not that kind of Prego
Okay, we can understand the confusion. Prego spaghetti sauce sounds similar to the slang term “preggo” for pregnant. That’s what this dad thought his child meant. First of all, it would be weird for someone to text their dad to tell them that their mom wants to be impregnated again. But this dad decided to just go with it and said that he’d already taken care of that years ago and had also ensured that his swimmers wouldn’t be reaching any eggs ever again. OH HELL NAH. That is not what this person meant at all. They wanted to tell dad that mom wanted some spaghetti sauce, not to be impregnated. Dad just went way too far in telling his children information. Yeah, we know that our dad got our moms pregnant at some point and we understand the mechanics involved. But do we want to be reminded of it every single time? No, we don’t.
10. Dad’s cheating heart
Uh oh, it turns out that Dad is cheating on Mom with another person, who apparently also gave him herpes. He is very angry and ended up texting one of his children instead. Oops, now he’s been caught. It’s also way too much information because we now know that Dad is cheating on Mom, he’s sleeping around and he is getting STDs from unsafe sex with other people. Dad has a lot of explaining to do. And if he has herpes, he will likely give it to Mom. Not cool at all. But Dad has decided to bribe his way out of his current situation. The child now has some serious leverage and can get anything they want. Dad really should double-check who he’s sending messages to before he actually hits the send button.
9. Dad reveals his bowel movements
Again, dad shared way too much. We didn’t need to know that he was on the toilet having a bowel movement. Dad could have just told his child that he was just finishing up getting ready to go. Did he need to share that he was in the middle of pooping? Of course not. But he did that anyway. Dads sometimes assume that we want to know these things, or perhaps they just think it’s hilarious to talk about their pooping and such all the time. It can turn into TMI pretty quickly, though. This dad just doesn’t care whether or not he grosses his kids out. All in a day’s work of being a dad, huh? We think we will pass on this. Dad is an over-sharer.
8. Mom showing off the goods
Kudos to Joey’s mom for being brave enough to wear such hot dresses. She has great cleavage. And when you got it, you sometimes want to flaunt it. With that said, this hot momma should not be texting cleavage photos to her son. It’s very weird, and Joey feels a little uncomfortable with the whole thing. We don’t know if there’s a dad in the picture anymore. Maybe she and her husband have already divorced, and she doesn’t have another man in her life to ask these sorts of opinions. Her son Joey, though, does not want to risk thinking of his mom as anything other than his mother. And her cleavage shots are just too much for his delicate disposition. She needs to learn what qualifies as TMI for her son Joey.
7. Don’t come too soon
Oh, dear, we agreed with one half of this mom’s text message. Mondays do indeed arrive too soon. We would love for a long weekend. But the other half of her text takes it way too far. She reveals that her husband climaxes too soon during their bedtime activities. That is not something that their children want to have any knowledge of. It’s TMI to the highest degree. She doesn’t seem to care, though. Some parents love freaking out their kids, and this mom seems like the type who will say things just to gross out her kids. And we can tell just how disgusted her child is now after that statement because we would feel the same way if our moms said something like that.
6. That would be a hell-to-the-no
Wait, we are wondering the same thing. Could this dad be serious? First of all, there are some things you should never share. You don’t share your mascara, your contact lenses or your dildos. You shouldn’t share your hair brushes either. And why would she ever use her dildos again if her parents had given them a try? Hold on a minute while we vomit. Second of all, why did Dad think that THIS was an appropriate question? Because it’s not. It’s a horrible question to even consider. This is not the type of text we would want to receive from our parents. It’s messed up in a thousand ways that this text conversation even exists. We need to scrub our brains after reading this because it might even be too much for us to handle.
5. Mom really likes that hot tub
Hot tubs can provide an enjoyable experience. The warm water massages your body and just relaxes you. Well, this mom found it to be a REALLY good experience and texted to her adult child that Bob (the dad or husband or boyfriend in this equation) would have some serious competition. Mom might not even need a man to reach euphoria now that she has this hot tub. Even if it’s a true statement, this kind of information can be too much for their kids to handle. Mom revealed way too much detail to her kid about her… needs. But yeah, we would love to own a hot tub ourselves. That sounds like one hell of an experience. So, good for Mom that she finally has her own hot tub.
4. Take it to the dry cleaners
Whoa, whoa, whoa. So it sounds like dad gets off to his wife’s dresses when she isn’t there to get it on with him, but things went wrong when his ejaculations stained one of her silk dresses. Dad decided to text one of the kids his laundry-related question. And it went downhill pretty fast, as would be expected. Just take it to the dry cleaner, Dad. They’re experts at dealing with all sorts of stains on silk and designer clothes. But for the love of all that is good and holy, stop texting these kinds of things to your children! Not only do they have to learn such awful secrets from their parents, the secrets turn out to be of a very sensitive and intimate nature.
3. Heard too much
These walls are really thin. We don’t even realize how thin they are until we get a text from Mom like this. It sounds like this person still lives with their mother and that they have a boyfriend named Ryan. We also gather from the text messages that they make very noisy love. Mom can hear them and knows all about it. She’s cool with it, though. This autocorrect that changed “meditating” to “masturbating” opened up a whole can of worms. Now we know that mom hears them getting it on and that there’s a good chance that they have heard the parents getting frisky as well. It’s just too much for us. The world is such a cruel enough already and now we have to deal with this news. Mom needs to learn about TMI and why it should be avoided.
2. Trying something new tonight, kids
Mom wants to treat Dad to something special now that he has gotten that promotion at work. But there’s a catch. The kids can’t come home tonight because the parents are going to be getting REALLY dirty. And this mom didn’t even try to come up with another reason for the kids to stay away for tonight. She went for the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Yikes. This qualifies as too much information in the worst possible way. Parents can do what they want with each other and props for them to be spicing things up every once and a while. Yet, we definitely do not need to know how the gory details of this particular evening date. Mom apparently doesn’t understand the meaning of TMI.
1. Dad was just so proud
And here we end on another dad who thinks his bowel movements are noteworthy. He took a really large crap, one so big that he was stunned and impressed without how much poop came out of him. He even showed mom his masterpiece. She, of course, was grossed out and walked away. But dad wasn’t done sharing his latest fecal accomplishment. He decided to text one of the kids and even planned to send a photo of how big his poop had been. We live in trying times, folks, and this is only a part of what we have to deal with on a daily basis. Dads can be so weird. And this dad really takes things too far in the sharing department. It’s great that he keeps his colon so clean (we guess), but we don’t need the play-by-play.
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