One of the reasons why I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the Netflix television shows is because the characters usually have some great one-liners that wind up making me laugh for a good 10 minutes straight. I remember the first time I saw Thor, I started dying during the scene when Thor slams the coffee cup on the ground and yells “ANOTHER!” Between his hilarious reaction to caffeine and poor Jane’s shocked expression, I think it took me a few minutes to catch my breath because I had just been laughing so hard.
I also love reading the incorrect Marvel quotes tagged on Tumblr, because as funny as the films and the television shows are, there’s always a line from another movie or television show that would fit certain characters or scenes just as well. For all my fellow comic book nerds, the following 15 incorrect Marvel quotes are the perfect blend of pop culture that will tickle even the most dour fan’s funny bone.
15. Black Widow Can Use Her Charm To Get Out Of Trouble
I nearly fell over laughing when I saw this because Natasha Romanoff WOULD say something like that to Nick Fury. Let’s face it, Nick thinks Black Widow’s sass is hilarious. I totally headcanon that he lets things slide from Natasha that he wouldn’t tolerate from other members of S.H.I.E.L.D. I also can totally believe that Natasha can do no wrong—she is an AWESOME Avenger, a deadly assassin, and definitely knows how to use her charm to get out of trouble. Marvel, we definitely need a Black Widow spin-off movie that is just Natasha and Clint Barton sassing poor Nick Fury and driving him up a wall. If DC Comics can release a Wonder Woman film, Marvel can make a Black Widow film too.
14. I Could See Harold Doing This
I recently started watching Iron Fist with my boyfriend—despite the terrible reviews—because I’ve seen all the other Marvel Netflix shows and it didn’t feel right to skip it. The show isn’t the best that I’ve seen, but I did get a good laugh at how Ward Meachum and Danny Rand often snarked at one another. Needless to say, I started giggling at this incorrect quote—mainly because Harold Meachum was such a jerk (in both life and death), that I could see him pulling something like this with both Joy and Ward when they were young kids. As much as I adore David Wenham, Harold WOULD be the type to take his kids over to the neighbor’s and then steal their Christmas presents. Also, I lost it at “sociopathic murder zombie.” A++ snark, Danny!
13. Tony Is Always Sassy
Listen, I’m a coffee drinker, and it takes a lot for me to spit out my coffee—because I love it that much. But when I read this post, that’s exactly what I did: I spit out my coffee from giggles. I’m SHOCKED that Nick Fury and Tony Stark didn’t have this kind of exchange in the first Avengers movie. After all, Tony didn’t trust Fury and even hacked into his computers to find out what he was up to in the first film. I honestly wouldn’t have batted an eye if Fury had called out Iron Man and Tony responded with something witty like that. Of course, since those two are both snarky AF, it would’ve led to a battle of wits—much to the chagrin of the rest of the team. I’m pretty sure both Bruce Banner and Steve Rogers would’ve been facepalming during the entire exchange, while Natasha would probably throw her hands up in the air and leave the room.
12. This Is Definitely A Jessica Quote
Given Jessica’s biting wit, I must admit that I’m a little bit shocked that she didn’t say something like this in the television show. After all, she DOES have a penchant for wearing all black clothing, and I’m surprised Luke never asked her about it. I could also see her making a snarky remark about how she finally decided that it was going to be Kilgrave’s funeral. As mean as it sounds, he’d deserve it. The guy was a total jerk who used his powers to control people and take away their will. If there’s anyone who deserved to have his a** kicked ten ways to Sunday by Jessica and Luke, it was DEFINITELY him. As much as I like David Tennant, Kilgrave was evil and I totally cheered when he finally got killed off.
11. Charles And Erik Love Debates
How accurate is this Tumblr conversation? I mean, c’mon! I can totally picture Erik and Charles getting into a very loud and opinionated debate that drives all of the X-Men up a wall. I could see Jean Grey, Storm, and Scott Summers rolling their eyes and immediately leaving the room whenever those two started debating. It’s not like they didn’t know it wouldn’t end well, and ultimately, they were sick of it. On the other hand, Logan would probably grab a tub of popcorn and watch the two mutants argue because he thinks it’s a hoot to watch. He is a giant troll, after all. Then, when he got sick of them debating with one another, he would interject with a question to get them to finally stop arguing.
10. Typical Loki
Loki, are you kidding me? I wouldn’t have been shocked if Loki said something like that in Thor: The Dark World. Jane Foster did NOT seem impressed when she met Loki in The Dark World, and was so disgusted by his actions that she slapped him right across the face—much to the trickster’s amusement (yes girl!). I would have LOVED if Jane added that she thought he was disgusting and Loki would reply with a sassy remark about how she has discussed his actions with Thor. Then again, that remark might have earned Loki yet ANOTHER slap from Jane, because I don’t think she would stand for his snark. Not that I think the god of mischief would care—it would just make him laugh even more.
9. Deadpool Has Seen Zombie Films, He Knows How It Goes Down
This Tumblr post made me laugh because I could see Deadpool freaking out about Peter Park/Spider-Man becoming a zombie because he’s a huge pop-culture nerd and probably religiously watches The Walking Dead. Poor Deadpool would probably start grabbing every weapon he could find in order to make sure that he survived the zombie apocalypse while Spider-Man repeatedly facepalms at how literal his buddy can be. I can easily imagine Peter saying something along the lines of “Errr….Wade, you do realize that I was kidding, right? I got bit by a radioactive spider, not a zombie, so I’m fine and I am still kicking..” Although I’m sure Wade would respond with a snarky comment about how Peter essentially got bitten by a bug and would start teasing him about that.
8. S.H.I.E.L.D. Can Be Incompetent
I think we can all definitely see Jane being fed up with S.H.I.E.L.D. and not wanting them to get involved. After all, in the first Thor movie, S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, Phil Coulson, stole all of Jane’s data around the wormhole that was used to transport Thor from Asgard down to Earth. We can’t blame the woman for holding a grudge against Thor in the first Avengers movie. He risked his life fighting the Chitauri and never contacted her when he was back in New York. So yea, that grudge is probably still alive and thriving, and is most likely geared towards Coulson. He’d better watch out, I could see Jane anonymously sending him a glitter bomb in order to get back at him. He’ll be washing glitter out of his hair for a week!
7. Oh, Tony
I think I cackled for a solid 10-minutes when I saw this meme because it is SO Tony and Natasha. As much as I love Iron Man, let’s face it: Tony is very full of himself and he would totally say that his face is “proof of God’s existence.” Pepper Potts was probably shaking her head in disbelief the whole time, but we can see this going down. Of course, Natasha is NOT impressed by Tony and wouldn’t take his s**t. I have a feeling Natasha and Pepper made a pact to cut Tony down to size so he’d stop saying embarrassing things like how God gifted him a beautiful face. They all know that deep down, Tony’s a good guy, but he does have an ego the size of Texas that needs to be deflated every now and then.
6. I Can See This Happening, Not Even Going To Lie
Just imagining this scene play out is hilarious because it probably is something that Foggy would do. I’m sure Tony would either not hear Matt when he mouthed the words “Not guilty” or would substitute his own phrase in an attempt to be sassy. Of course, Foggy has no patience for an egomaniacal superhero with a high-tech suit, so he’d just start blushing for Tony’s sake. Or he’d throw his hands up in the air, looking up at the sky, and screeching “Why me?!” Poor Foggy. Between dealing with Tony’s ego and his BFF Matt’s nocturnal shenanigans as the superhero Daredevil, I think that guy definitely needs a break. Preferably a nice, long vacation somewhere on a beach so he can kick back and relax with an alcoholic beverage in hand.
5. Clint Exits Stage Left
Given the fact that poor Clint was mind controlled by Loki and had to have his head smacked by his friend Natasha in order to regain his body during the first Avengers movie, I’m a tad surprised that the archer decided to stay with the team of superheroes. In Thor: The Dark World, Dr. Erik Selvig was clearly suffering from the side effects of Loki’s mind control, so it stands to reason that Clint probably has some leftover quirks from the Chitauri incident, too. If he manages to survive Avengers: Infinity War, I wouldn’t be shocked if defeating the Mad Titan Thanos is the last straw for the poor guy and he decides to exit stage left using a Jack Sparrow quote. There’s only so much weirdness he can take!
4. Melinda May, Queen Of Sass
I laughed so hard at this one that I woke BOTH of my dogs up. My Bichon Frise named Esme gave me a death glare. Sorry pups, but this incorrect quote is brilliant because I could easily picture Melinda May saying something hilarious like this. After all, Melinda doesn’t take s**t from anyone, and she is the unchallenged Queen of Sass. Not that she doesn’t feel kindness towards anyone or is against giving compliments, it’s just that she’s sassy AF and it’s easier to conceal her true emotions behind a mask of sarcasm. Melinda has been through a lot—her ex-husband, Andrew Garner, turned into the Inhuman Lash and was forced to kill a little girl in Britain. With such horrible memories, it’s no wonder Melinda is snarky and doles out compliments only sparingly.
3. Grant Ward Hates Most People
Given the fact that Grant Ward had a REALLY s***ty childhood and he was full of rage, I could easily picture him spouting a line from the animated children’s movie All Dogs Go To Heaven. My personal headcanon for Grant is that even though he grew up in an abusive home where he was forced to pick on his younger brother (for the appraisal of his older brother), he would eventually spend some time volunteering at a local animal shelter. There he could walk the dogs when he got a little older ad they wouldn’t judge him. Dogs are incredibly compassionate and loving animals, so I could see Grant’s time volunteering at the shelter giving him a healthy respect for “man’s best friend.” As any dog owner will tell you, dogs are usually better than most people!
2. **Oohh, Burn**
I know poor Frigga was killed off in Thor: The Dark World, but I could easily picture her ghost saying this to Loki. Or saying something like this to her youngest son when he was stuck in Asgard’s prison. Loki holds a grudge, and I could imagine Frigga getting tired of her youngest ranting about his adopted father. Loki probably would’ve added something about how Thor and Odin messed up his plans—which is why Frigga would interject with such a sassy burn. Hey, someone needs to try and deflate Loki’s ego! And Frigga is pretty much the only person Loki would listen to. It really is such a shame that the Dark Elves killed her. Maybe she could’ve redeemed her youngest son at the end of The Dark World.
1. Can We Say Sibling Rivalry?
Yes! It’s about time Loki made a comment about being the only child. This Tumblr post is seriously too damn perfect and sums up the Thor/Loki relationship perfectly. In the two Thor movies and in the first Avengers film, there was definitely a sibling rivalry going on between the two. Loki felt that HE should be king because Thor isn’t suited for being a ruler. Meanwhile, Thor seemed a bit jealous that their mother Frigga doted on his brother. Honestly, I do think that one of the main reasons why Loki teamed up with the Chitauri is to get back at his adopted brother. That’s why I’m shocked he didn’t make a snarky remark about how he wants to be an only child when he saw Thor in Avengers.
Source: Tumblr and Thor’s Official Facebook Page.