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15 Inappropriate Disney Jokes We Definitely Did Not Get As Kids

In: Pop Culture
15 Inappropriate Disney Jokes We Definitely Did Not Get As Kids

We all know Disney is pretty much for kids – but that doesn’t stop us loving it as adults. Most of us grew up with the classic Disney movies, and we all have our favorites – but we can guarantee that while you were watching those movies as a child, there were jokes in them that were specifically for adults. Once you read this article, you’ll realize Disney caters for everyone – and maybe be a little shocked at the ones that ruin your childhood forever.

We totally have to applaud the writers though. These jokes were slipped in just right – they go totally over kids’ heads but as adults, they make us giggle, even if we can’t explain them to the younger folks for how inappropriate some of them are.

15. “I Haven’t Seen This Much Love In A Room Since Narcissus Discovered Himself.”

Via: OkMovieQuotes

As adults, we all know what narcissism is – but it’s a pretty big word for kids, and probably a hard concept for them to understand. Narcissus was a Greek god who, predictably, absolutely loved himself and was extremely proud. He was also, of course, absolutely beautiful, and expected everyone to love him too. It’s safe to say he had a big head.

The joke here is about his narcissistic complex, a throwaway sentence that would go totally over the heads of kids who are just learning about the Greek gods and the pretty adult complexes that surround them. Maybe it’s a good thing this one goes over kids’ heads though – the idea of self-love is definitely one that could be taken even further, so who knows what Narcissus was doing in that room?

14. “That Oedipus Thing? Man, I Thought I Had Problems!”

Via: HelloGiggles

Hercules really just throws out these jokes. Hercules himself has a lot of problems – between his mortal status that he’s trying to revert back to immortal again, Hades being determined to mess up his life, and Meg being his weakness. But we have to agree with him here – none of his problems are quite as messed up as the Oedipus complex.

Another concept that’s only really taught to older people, the Oepidus complex is a psychological theory about boys having sexual feelings as young children towards their mother. It seems like a bizarre concept but, strangely, it was a very popular theory for a long time. We have to agree with Hercules, though – it’s really messed up, and probably a good thing that it flies over the head of kids. No need to teach them about this for a long time.

13. “I Thought The Earth Wasn’t Supposed To Move Until The Honeymoon.”

Via: Pinterest

The sequel to Aladdin hits out with this joke that hopefully won’t make much sense to most kids, but will make sense to every adult who’s listening. “I thought the earth wasn’t supposed to move until the honeymoon!” is a clear reference to sex, and the idea that people will have sex after they get married. Although children might be confused and think this is a reference to the literal Earth moving, it’s definitely not – and we didn’t catch this one as kids. We can’t help but imagine how uncomfortable it must be to be a parent watching this with your child and have them turn around and ask why the Earth would move during a honeymoon. There’s no good answer to that to give to someone under a certain age. Awkward…

12. Buzz’s Reaction To Jessie

Via: MakeAGif

We always thought of Woody and Jessie as the couple in Toy Story. Maybe a little cliché of us, because they were both the cowboy dolls and we just assumed they’d get together – even despite other toys having crushes on Woody – but this scene makes it pretty apparent that Woody isn’t the only one who’d like to be close to Jessie. Upon seeing her, Buzz’s eyes practically pop and his wings jump up into position. This might seem like a pretty random reaction to someone who isn’t grown up, but it seems to us that those wings are a metaphor for something else… particularly considering how attracted he seems to be to Jessie in this moment…

Watch out, Woody. You definitely have competition, and it’s pretty impressive.

11. “Foot Size Doesn’t Matter.”

Via: Pinterest

Frozen is one of the later Disney moves and definitely one of the most popular. Even though it came later, it was a big hit with kids right away. Elsa and Anna are both enchanting, relatable characters, the animation is beautiful, and just about everyone knows the lyrics to the songs in the movie. There doesn’t seem to be a child today who hasn’t seen the movie – although we bet that this joke flew over their heads as much as it did Anna.

There’s a running joke that foot size is equivalent to something else, so Anna’s innocent suggestion that foot size doesn’t matter seems to be pretty misguided. Like most of the kids watching, she’s completely missed the double meaning – and maybe that’s for the best.

10. “My Eyes Can See Straight Through Your Armor!”

Via: Pinterest

Mushu is probably one of the most entertaining characters in Mulan. A small lizard-like creature who claims to be a dragon, he frequently over-estimates his own abilities. He can’t roar, he can’t breathe fire, and yet he seems to think he can do everything that a fully-sized dragon could. He also tells Mulan that he has x-ray vision, and Mulan reacts as any of us would – by falling back and trying to cover herself up.

Whether Mushu has x-ray vision or not is debatable, but one things for sure – the implications of what he could see made us all cringe as adults as we imagined being put in that position. Having a creature following you around who can see you naked all the time? No thanks!

9. “And Every Last Inch Of Me’s Covered With Hair.”

Via: SweetyHigh

Gaston from Beauty and the Beast is amusing when you’re a kid. He’s persistent even though Belle clearly doesn’t want him, he thinks far too much of himself and, overall, really seems to need to get a grip. As adults, we’re kind of repulsed by him though. His persistence is kind of gross, and he’s not even one of those animated characters that we’re weirdly attracted to (Prince Eric, anyone?). So when he makes this joke about every last inch of him being covered by hair, our minds go to the inches that are mercifully covered in this scene and we shudder in horror. Out of all the Disney characters we want to picture naked, Gaston is definitely not one of them – much as he’d like to think he’s the obvious choice.

8. The Skunk Kiss

Via: Pinterest

The skunk kiss in Bambi is adorable. The poor skunk goes red and seems to collapse and, as kids, we associate going red with embarrassment. But if we look at the actual animation, it looks more like the blood is rushing through the skunk as he goes red and becomes completely stiff – um, ew?

We’re not sure if Disney intended it this way, but we sure know what it looks like. And honestly, looking at the other jokes, Disney probably did intend it this way. They’ve been way more sneaky than we’ve given them credit for with the adult jokes, and this is one of those that makes us cringe and laugh at the same time. Surely you could have been a little more subtle with that animation.

7. “I Don’t Think That’d Be A Problem…”

Via: Pinterest

When the witches of Hocus Pocus ask to be taken to children, the bus driver says it might take him a couple of tries. As a kid, this seems like kind of a weird joke – why would it take him a couple of tries to find kids? It’s Halloween and everywhere the witches walk on the streets, children are trick or treating.

As an adult, we know exactly what this pervert bus driver means. Us females have all heard a man like this awkwardly and creepily hitting on us, and it puts us in a dark place to hear it in a Disney move – but it’s so relatable for adult women that we can’t help but laugh. He’s not talking about finding them children on the streets, he’s trying to turn it into an offer from them.

6. “Wanna Pollinate With A Real Bug?”

Via: Pinterest

Wow. Even A Bug’s Life has sex jokes!

A Bug’s Life was one of the first pixar movies and we all loved it. Flik and Atta were adorable and even between them, there was never any sex jokes except an honest, earnest crush. But when Flik finds the dark side of everything, where the bugs are way tougher and seem to be far less innocent than the ants, we stumble across a few jokes that kids might be completely oblivious to. At least, we hope they are.

These bugs are shouting to women about pollinating and while that might seem like a scientific thing to someone a little less mature, us adults know exactly what they’re offering to do. Shame they’re gross – both in their tactics and, well… look at them.

5. “It’s Okay. I Lived Through The ‘60s.”

Via: Pinterest

In The Santa Clause, the kid is delighted to see Santa fly – and Santa responds by saying he’s used to flying because he lived through the 60’s. Is Santa implying he had more houses to fly around in the 60’s and more presents to deliver? Well, maybe, but it seems unlikely. More than likely, it seems like Santa is talking about drugs. The 60’s were a big period for drugs and, more than likely, Santa is making a reference to this. Kids won’t get it, but it does seem a little inappropriate for this movie considering it’s not exactly as if he’s warning the kid off drugs. Come on, Santa. You’re responsible for keeping all the kids in the world happy – don’t tell them about drugs unless it’s to warn them off!

4. Mr Potato Head’s On Point Acting

Via: GIPHY

If you were watching this movie in the background, this joke might fly over your head – or as a kid, you might have to ask an adult exactly what he’s doing.

Mr. Potato Head always had a pretty good but pretty rude sense of humor in Toy Story. From jokes about his wife’s mouth to his own body parts, he was the one that Disney definitely used to shoehorn in some inappropriate jokes. This one is genius though. Although they wouldn’t be allowed to actually say this in their own movie, they managed to get in a ‘kiss my ass’ joke by having Mr. Potato Head act it out so that kids wouldn’t realize exactly what he was doing. We have to commend Disney on this one when we caught onto it.

3. “You Understand Why I Couldn’t Go With That.”

Via: Tumblr

Wait – what else could ‘BS’ possibly stand for?

The Incredibles is another more recent Disney movie, and definitely one of the best. it’s about a family of superheroes and, in this joke, it’s demonstrated why you sometimes have to be careful with your superhero slogan. We feel like having ‘BS’ written across a superhero uniform would definitely discredit the superhero. Good on him for realizing that was probably a bad idea.

This is another joke where kids are definitely going to turn around and ask about it earnestly, because it’s too obvious not to. Sometimes, we feel like Disney are deliberately putting parents in awkward situations so they can sit back and giggle as kids poke and prod about jokes while their parents flood red. Cruel!

2. “He Did WHAT In His Cup?”

Via: GIPHY

We’re starting to think that Disney have become super talented at getting around cursing. Lightning McQueen in Cars states that he wons three piston cups. Clearly shocked by this, the other car exclaims, “he did what in his cup?”

If parents are lucky, kids won’t get this joke because they don’t know many curse words yet. If they’re not so lucky and the kids have been exposed to that language, everyone will know exactly what was meant. ‘Piston cups’ definitely sounds like something else, and we can only imagine there were a lot of laughs in the writers’ room when this joke was put in. This was probably Disney’s most daring curse implication to date, and they only seem to be getting braver with it!

1. The Lion King’s Unfortunately Misread Tribute

Via: TheSun

Okay. So this wasn’t so much a joke as an unfortunate mistake, but it’s still worth mentioning to see if you spotted this as an adult.

The Lion King is a stunning movie, and one of the running themes is the stars. The animals often debate about what the stars and constellations mean, and only Pumba is the one who ever seems to get it right. However, in this scene, when Simba is lying down and a constellation can be seen in the background, it seems to spell a very deliberate word…

The truth is, the word is SFX and it was clarified that this was done by the producers as a tribute to the SFX team on the movie. However, one glance, and it definitely looks like it spells ‘sex’. Perhaps the production team should have thought this tribute through…

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