Lying is as natural for some of us as breathing. After a while, it becomes a skill we use in our daily lives. It can be used for great harm or for incredible mercy. But basically, it’s one of the most useful tools we have at our disposal. Like any great weapon, it can solve pretty well any crisis we may face but simultaneously cause ones we didn’t even know we could have. The trick is to only lie when you absolutely have to and get really good at it – Basing it in some sort of truth is always the best bet. That way people have no clue that you’re a deceitful little bastard. Unfortunately, some people are pretty horrendous liars. Try as they might, we still laugh at them. In fact, it’s the only reason why we couldn’t possibly be angry with them. Here are 15 such liars…
15. Relationship Status: Single
There are so many successful people who lived beyond their means before they struck gold. This is because it pushed them to work harder. I think, to a certain extent, it’s a great way to inspire people to constantly achieve their dreams. It’s a hot-iron to the foot. It worked for Jim Carrey, who wrote himself a $1 million cheque and cashed it a year later after he landed his first big movie role. I suppose that’s what this young man’s doing. If he can’t get one of the girls in his class, he might as well announce his union to an unrealistically hot girl who’s clearly from an internet adult entertainment site. It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that he’s a blatant liar – and the biggest virgin ever, for that matter. But hey, a boy can dream can’t he?
14. Even Lil Bow Wow Does It
I think we’d all be very surprised (or maybe not) to find out that celebrities lie on social media just as much as the rest of us commoners. Well, some celebrities more than others… ahem… ahem… That wasn’t a thinly veiled political statement. See? I just lied. But perhaps, on a more frequent basis, celebrities are more prone to doing it once they fall from stardom. In fairness, I’m sure most of us would as well once all the luxury and attention we’ve been accustomed to has been stripped away. I’m a child of the 90’s so I remember when Little Bow Wow was all the rage. But it seems like Bow Wow has forgotten what decade we’re in now. In the 2010’s, there’s nobody who actually cares if Lil Bow Wow flys on a private jet, as well as there’s technology in everyone’s pocket that can prove that he, in fact, is absolutely full of it, to begin with.
13. Better To Start Early
If this kid’s teacher doesn’t give them straight A’s for the entirety of their educational life, they should be court-marshaled in the street. I know parents and educators don’t want to encourage lying, but they also claim they’d like to encourage a child’s creativity. Creativity and lying often go hand in hand. It certainly does with actors and writers who make their living doing just that. The good ones find the truth in their project and exploit it in a way that’s very similar to a white lie. All smart lies have some truth in them… that’s why people believe them. That’s very much what this kid has done here. This decision doesn’t hurt anyone. There’s no problem with it. Besides, it’s just so damn cute! How could we be mad!?
12. The Truth Behind The Headstand
If this shot doesn’t sum up Instagram, I don’t know what does. A cropping function is a powerful tool, and you know what Peter Parker’s Uncle said to him about power? “With great power, comes great responsibility”. And this is true. I’m pretty certain most of us have come across an intense fitness photo on Instagram that’s made us self-conscious about not being able to do the same thing ourselves. I could never do this headstand for instance. But then again, the truth of the matter is… neither could she. Who else feels completely deceived by this image? I guess we know the truth behind all those Insta-Yogis that we see all over our newsfeed… Repeat after me: Never trust anything you see on the internet.
11. The Social Media Masquerade
We all live a lie. Well, at least everyone on social media. It so easily masks the reality of our day-to-day. Our viewers see only what we’re willing to share with them, and even then everything’s filtered through lenses that go far beyond the angles of our photographs. There’s little that’s truly honest about our accounts, even when we believe that there is. So, how could anyone be upset by this woman’s obvious lie? Not only is it hilarious and creative, it’s accurate. It’s social commentary on us, the miserable bunch of losers that we are. She’s probably better off with a fake boyfriend like this, anyhow. At least this one won’t put his feet up on the furniture and forget to flush his turds that reek of day old Jack in the Box.
10. The Great Gatsby
If you’re anything like me (you poor, poor bastard) then your first thought was that a lie like this is horrifically unforgivable. The Great Gatsby is an American classic, one of the best books ever written and still holds relevance today. If you didn’t go “to high school” then you should definitely pick it up ASAP. Upon second thought, I can totally understand where this person is coming from. So often we come face-to-face with someone who thinks they’re more cultured than we are because ink stains their fingertips more than it does ours. He raises a good point about elitism, but it would work better if he didn’t blatantly insinuate that he’s also read the book when he clearly hasn’t. How ironic since much of Gatsby deals with the theme of lying and deception… Oh, s**t now I’m just like them now…
9. The Car Show-Off
I don’t get car people. I know many of them. They can chat for hours about the models, old and new. Each pro and con. Each style. Each make. Each color. It fascinates them endlessly, but frankly, makes me want to take a cigarette lighter to the back of my throat. I couldn’t care less about them. What I do comprehend is that they are the ultimate status symbol. More so than someone’s home, since a car goes with you whoever you go. There’s a reason why so many Tinder profile pictures feature guys with hot cars… It’s because they lack in *certain* departments and hope they might woo a girl into thinking they’ve got something to offer (They don’t). I’m surprised that this sorry schmuck even got into college. Only an idiot would be fooled by this attempt to show off his $34 model. Oh well, creativity counts for something – Forgiven.
8. Creating An Intimate Moment
I think we often forget how easy it is to make a picture look like it’s capturing something real that’s, in fact, totally bogus. In my experience, guys, in particular, have a tendency to go to very far visual lengths to lie to their girls. It’s all about the angles, boys, all about the angles. Take this schmuck for instance; he’s either trying to prove to his girlfriend that he’s in bed and not out with his buddies, or he’s trying to fake an intimate moment with a girl to try and win some sexy photos. How do I know this? Well, I’m of the male gender and I’d be flat-out lying to myself if this image didn’t look somewhat familiar. How much do we really have to gain by pulling this stuff? Yeah sure, maybe a momentary laugh, but is it bettering ourselves or the world around s? Unequivocally not. …Oh well, screw it… we’re probably all going to hell anyway.
7. Drake Wannabe
Look, I get it. We all want to look like Drake or sleep with him. It’s one of the two or both, really. He was blessed by the gods… Well, that and he literally gets paid to spend most of the day in the gym for all of those photoshoots and musical appearances. But that doesn’t mean we can’t all aspire to be as fit as he is. So, having said that, the intentions of those boys are reasonable. The execution, however, is something to absolutely ridicule. This was one of the laziest conceivable ways of lying about your physical fitness. Seriously, you need to do more than just edit out the head of one of the most famous men on the planet. This person seriously didn’t think anyone would notice? Shameful. Also, you think that he would have tried to find photos that weren’t highly publicized. On another note, what is it with people posting fitness photos like this one? I mean, you have to be some sort of narcissist or have a severe neurological disorder.
6. A Little Soft-Core
Maybe this Facebook user took it too far. If you’re going to try and pass off a random beautiful girl as your girlfriend, you probably shouldn’t pick an adult film star. This is because I can only assume every male member of your prepubescent friends list has spent the night rubbing one out to her, knowing full-well this is a woman they could never get. To this moron I say, better stay clear of lying altogether. Also, ***hole, don’t spell “chillin” with an “e”. It just makes you look like even more of an idiot than you clearly already are. And the cringe doesn’t stop there. This idiot liked his own status, and it seems he’s even created a fake profile for her to tag her in. How many levels of cringe is that? Too many for a single post, that’s for sure…
5. The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul
Okay, this guy you CAN be angry at. Or, at least his now ex-girlfriend can be. Cheating is one of the most repulsive things you can do to your partner. But if you’re going to do it, don’t be a total imbecile like this guy. If you’re the type of douchebag who’d wear reflective glasses (and all people who do are), avoid taking selfies while cheating on your lady. This a pretty idiotic way to get caught in a lie. Cover your tracks, man… jeez! Good on this girl for figuring it out so quickly. Though, she must have been suspicious for a while as he looks like a total cretin. When her kids inquire about why she dumped her first great love she can tell them that he was to stupid to know how reflections work. I say that she’s lucky she doesn’t have to be with him anymore. That’s a quick way to lose 195 pounds.
4. It’s All About The Label
It’s all about the label, right? Consumerism has run amuck in our world. It’s come to the point where we don’t even care about the quality or the design of products we buy; what matters is the insignia. It’s all about the status that comes with it, and celebrities like the Kardashians aren’t making it any better. Because we’re so conditioned by our environment to value these things people will go to the utmost to trick others into thinking they have access to such status symbols. The truth is, the vast majority of people simply don’t have the money to be spending on things like this and will go ahead and lie about it. And it’s not because they want the world to think they’re “treating themselves”, it’s about gaining the attention (and therefore the affection) of our peers. Here’s a tip, if you’re going to lie about it, get better photoshop skills.
3. Anything To Get Out Of Exams
Who do you think has fewer brain-cells; this so-called, “Rocket Man” or the Chemistry professor if he or she actually believes this? You’d think someone who knows a thing or two about scientific equipment would immediately see the difference between earphones and oxygen tubes. So, I think it’s quite impossible for the professor, or anyone else for that matter, to buy into this petty attempt at exam avoidance. So “Rocket Man”, we deem you the winner of that question. Look, nobody likes Chemistry. Not even chemists have any affection for it. But it’s just something you have to do. And if, for whatever selfish or lazy reason, you can’t; come up with something better than just shoving your Apple headphones up your schnozz. Regardless, this is pretty funny.
2. Kim Kardashian Wannabe
Much like how many guys want to have Drake’s or Zac Efron’s body, many women want to have Kim Kardashian’s curves. I’d argue that the latter is far more unhealthy since a lot of what Kim has is allegedly due to cosmetic surgery. Though, if you know anything about how the body works, it’s hard to think that these accusations are “alleged”. Much like her half-sister Kylie, Kim didn’t work hard to “better” her body, she simply spent the right amount of money to go under the knife or get a needle shoved in your tuchus. The Jenners and Kardashians flaunt their bodies for the whole world to see, creating a certain amount of jealousy. A lot of women would kill to look like them. In some cases, like the photo above, they merely kill their dignity since no one, or their half-demented kitten would believe that this photo was authentic.
1. The Modern Addiction
To a certain extent, all of us have an addiction to social media. What? You think you don’t?Well, let me ask you how you found this list in the first place; my guess is that it was through Facebook. If you don’t think you have this particular vice, you may be right. You could be one of the few. But if I were a betting man, I’d say that you certainly do. C’mon, you don’t want to be like this person. Someone who lives in complete denial. Or, even worse, they wants us to think that they’re better than us. We all know someone like this; someone who’s happy to lie to exert superiority. If they truly weren’t using social media, they wouldn’t be posting 15 things via any source, and they certainly wouldn’t be trying to rub it in like a complete dickwad. Oh well, I guess we can’t blame the lying twit for “trying” to better themselves.
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