Before we dive in, please note the huge [SPOILER ALERT] for anyone who has not watched all four episodes of the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix. If you haven’t watched every last second of Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life, do not continue reading as plot points will be divulged, lines shared and stories ruined. You have been warned.
If you’re still here, I assume you have watched the revival in its entirety and you’re looking for a place to commiserate. You need someone who shares your thoughts and feelings. Someone who is going to get you through this tough time. Someone to follow, wherever they lead (get it??). Because there were some painful parts in this revival. Sure, it was awesome to see the Gilmore ladies back on our screen and to spend some time in Stars Hollow again. But some things went terribly wrong along the way.
15. Why Does No One Care About All The Cheating?
Remember when Logan “cheated” on Rory when he thought they were broken up and Rory went ballistic? Like, moved out of his apartment, sicked Paris on him, and then acted all passive aggressive? Well, apparently Rory doesn’t remember either because the revival is rife with cheating. And what’s worse? No one seems to care! So to recap: Rory is dating Paul who, while extremely forgettable, is still a human being she has been in a relationship with for over two years. Logan is engaged to Odette, an heiress from France. And yet, Rory and Logan have a “what happens in London, stays in London” policy where they get to shack up and have sex every time Rory comes to London – which seems like every other weekend. And everyone is just okay with this? The Rory and Logan I remember from season 7 would not have been okay with this arrangement.
14. Paris & Doyle Are No Longer Together
This one hurt. We figured we wouldn’t be able to have all of our favorite couples together but we’re still pretty sad about it. If anyone could stand being married to Paris, it would’ve been Doyle. They were perfect for each other! Competitive, blunt, strong-willed, and the perfect amount of weird. But apparently a little foray into screenwriting was too much for Paris to take. That doesn’t sound like grounds for divorce to us, but who are we to question Paris? Maybe Doyle just got sick of living under her shadow. Whatever the true reason, it sounds like an ugly custody battle is brewing. Who is going to protect the kids (did they ever get names?) from all of the fighting and yelling between mommy and daddy? And will that poor nanny have to cart them from New York to LA every other week? That sounds much worse than a few flights here and there.
13. The Musical
I’m sorry. I love Sutton Foster and believe she is a true Broadway legend but this part of the show was just painful. Yes, the idea for Stars Hollow to put on a musical is adorable. And Taylor trying to emulate Hamilton? Hilarious. But 15-minutes of multiple songs from a musical that has nothing to do with the plot of the show? PAINFUL! This was drawn out way too long. This time could’ve been spent on literally any other plot point. Seriously, we much would’ve preferred Babette taking her cat for a walk or Luke yelling at people instead of this musical act. One song of the Stars Hollow Musical would’ve been more than enough. We acknowledge that Sutton Foster is talented and you’re trying to put the spotlight on Bunheads but c’mon. Sutton can sing and dance her heart out on a real life Broadway stage. So can we put the attention back on characters who matter? Thanks.
12. Why All The Celebrity Chefs?
Here’s another instance where guest-stars stole valuable screen time away from our beloved characters. Someone needs to let the producers know that you don’t have to shove a revival full of guest-stars to get people to watch. No one is tuning into Gilmore Girls to watch Rachael Ray. People are here for the characters they know and love – so show them some love! Instead, we get a scene where Rachael Ray is forced to pretend she knows how to act and another painful reminder that Sookie is gone. I’ll admit, the idea that Lorelai keeps firing all of these famous chefs because they aren’t Sookie is pretty hilarious. Name dropping Anthony Bourdain and Ina Garten? So funny! But that’s all we needed. Just a few name drops and quips between Lorelai and Michel. Not a full scene with Celebrity Chef Roy Choi.
11. Lorelai Choosing To Hike
In what universe would Lorelai Gilmore think that hiking would be the answer to any of her problems? I don’t care how many times she read the book, watched the movie or sent fan mail to Reese Witherspoon. I just don’t buy that Lorelai would think of hiking as a viable option to clear her mind. And I wasn’t alone. Luke even questioned her and in the end, she didn’t actually end up hiking. But I don’t even understand how she got that far ahead with this idea. The Lorelai Gilmore I know and love would’ve done her own version of Wild by grabbing Rory and heading on that roller coaster road trip they never got to go on. Or maybe she would’ve convinced Sookie to plan a food tour where they hit all of the diners on the East coast. Either way, Lorelai would’ve been spending her nights on a bed – not the floor, and most likely carrying a cute purse – not a giant backpack. Seeing her dressed to go hiking just made me uncomfortable.
10. All That Tension With Christopher
Sadly, for those of you who love Christopher, he only makes it into one scene throughout the entire revival. And that scene is incredibly tense and awkward. Of course, that tension makes a little more sense if you factor in Rory’s final line of the series. If she already knew when she went to go and see her dad, their hard talk about Lorelai raising her alone makes a bit more sense. But even knowing that, this scene was uncomfortable. When the show ended, Rory and Chris were good. In fact, Chris was on a good page with all of the Gilmore girls. So what happened? Did they just not talk in the last 10 years? It seems really strange that Rory and her dad wouldn’t be on better terms now that they are both adults and Chris isn’t after Lorelai anymore. Very strange, if you ask me.
9. Rory Was Still A Mess
I have no problem with Rory being a 32 year old who doesn’t quite have it all figured out yet. She was a journalism major, so yeah, the job market in 2016 is probably not looking all that great. And it makes sense that someone who thrived in a school environment where she was always the best may have trouble in the real world. But why are all aspects of her life a mess? And why is it the exact same mess that she was in when the original series ended? Has Rory seriously not grown up at all in the last 10 years? In fact, it seems like she has regressed if anything. The old Rory would have never been involved in a lengthy affair. She wouldn’t have moved home. She wouldn’t give up on her dreams of being a journalist. It just felt like every part of her life was falling apart and nothing got fixed by the end of the four episode revival. Sorry, Rory, wish we could help.
8. Luke & Lorelai Were Still A Mess
Okay, sure, Luke and Lorelai do end the series with their wedding and everything seems pretty happy. But how did they go 10 years without marriage, children or finances coming up? Do they not talk? Why did nothing change? It’s pretty unbelievable that they would be in this long-term relationship and living together without having discussions about anything relatively important. How does the topic of having children not come up in 10 years? And why are you visiting a surrogacy agency if you don’t even know if you want kids? And why does Luke have no idea how surrogacy works? Does he live under a rock? You’d think they would’ve discussed some of this in the last decade. Well, aside from all the important life decisions, at least they still got their happy ending. That is, until they realized that they haven’t actually finished having the whole kids conversation. And when someone tells Luke that they may have to pool their money and share responsibility of both Rory and April. Yikes.
7. Mental Health Is Not A Joke
Lorelai convinces Emily to see a therapist to deal with her grief after Richard’s passing (good move, Lor). Of course, Emily balks at the idea insisting she isn’t crazy. But eventually, she does agree to go. And she even manages to pull Lorelai in with her. While Lorelai hates the idea, she does continue to show up at the appointments, even without her mother. And then, because normalizing therapy and the benefits of seeking help got to be too much, the show turned that all on its head. Luke gets mad when he finds out Lorelai is lying about her therapy sessions. He scoffs at the idea and calls her therapy sessions “crazy” on a few occasions. And Lorelai just takes it! Maybe that’s why she, like so many people, don’t feel comfortable talking about seeing a therapist. People become so judgmental. To add insult to injury, the writers decided to discredit the entire therapy process by turning Lorelai’s therapist into a “wannabe actor” who would ruin her therapist-patient confidentiality to score a part in the Stars Hollow Musical. #SMH
6. All Of Rory’s Exes Are Still Pining For Her
So, we can all agree that Rory’s leading men are all looking mighty fine. These past 10 years were very kind to these boys. And more than that, they were all decent people with optimistic paths in life. So why did the creators need to make it seem like each and every one of them were still pining for Rory? Sure, she’s a cute, smart, and a witty girl with a heart of gold, but she was awful to all of these guys at some point. These hotties should’ve moved on by now. Even Dean, who seems the most over Rory with a growing family, wife, and life in another city, seemed deeply affected by their market run-in. And I can’t quite believe that Logan, who gave Rory a proposal ultimatum, would be happy being her London side-piece. And then there’s poor Jess, who really got the short-end-of-the-stick. He’s a big shot author/publisher with the most beautiful biceps I’ve ever seen and yet, he is still longing for Rory. You deserve better, boys, it’s time to move on.
5. Not Enough Sookie
Okay, so this one isn’t completely the fault of the creators. Apparently Melissa McCarthy’s schedule was crazy and she wasn’t available to film many scenes for the revival. But only one scene? We needed more than that. Granted, it was a beautiful scene. She got to show off her kitchen skills, fight with Michel, and share a sweet moment with Lorelai. But why did she need to leave in the first place? I get that the show needed to explain her absence but I just can’t imagine Sookie ditching the Dragonfly like that. Remember when she was on bed-rest while pregnant and still had people bringing her food because she didn’t trust anyone else to run her kitchen? How is that woman comfortable abandoning her kitchen for two years? And where was she when Lorelai decided to do Wild? Sookie would’ve put a stop to that for sure. Bring back Sookie!
4. We Never Find Out Who Wrote Emily “That Letter”
So during a therapy session, Emily reveals that she is mad at Lorelai because of a letter Lorelai left her that said cruel and abusive things. Lorelai completely denies writing the letter while Emily insists that she did. They go back and forth for a while and then time is up and they leave the therapist’s office. But they never go back to the letter! Why bring that up if you’re never going to reveal who actually wrote it? Some astute fans think the letter may have been authored by Richard’s mother, Trix. Trix never hid her distaste for Emily, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to think she wrote Emily an insulting letter. And, since Trix’ real name is also Lorelai Gilmore, she could’ve signed the letter with her real name which explains Emily’s confusion. But why not just confirm this brutal situation and save us all the guesswork? Or forget about the letter all together? Lorelai and Emily had plenty of things to work out during therapy without some invented letter.
3. Missing People
So many of our favorites from Stars Hollow made the revival and for that, we couldn’t be happier. But there were some notable misses. First off, did we need Francie at Chilton? I actually had to scratch my brain to remember who she was. You know who would’ve been a much better choice at the Chilton reunion? Madeline and Louise. Or they could’ve popped up as employees working under Paris or something. They would be great surrogate screeners. And what about Rory’s college friends? Did she completely lose touch with Lucy and Olivia? They seemed pretty tight when they celebrated their graduation together. But, maybe not. And all this talk about Liz and TJ without getting to see them? I would love to see what kind of hippie pre-teen Doula turned out to be with those two as her parents.
2. Fat-Shaming At The Pool
It wasn’t a long scene but the fat-shaming at the pool definitely raised a few eyebrows. Since when do Rory and Lorelai fat-shame anyone? Sure, they have always been very thin, which is surprising given the amount of junk and alcohol they consume. But they’ve always been about celebrating people regardless of size or shape. This seemed very out of character for them. Throughout the series, Melissa McCarthy’s weight fluctuated quite a bit. But her weight was never used as the punch line. Ms. Patty was always a bigger woman but no one ever questioned her ability to choreograph or be seen around town. So why are we stooping to the fat jokes now? C’mon Gilmore Girls, you’re better than that. Make fun of people who don’t take their TV watching as seriously as you do, not people who just want to cool down by the pool. Not cool, guys, not cool.
1. That Ending.
That ending. As soon as those legendary last four words were said, a collective howl could be heard among Gilmore Girls fans around the world. How could Amy Sherman-Palladino do this to us? What kind of monster makes the last four words of a series a cliff-hanger? And if these were the words Amy was intending to use when the original series ended, how could someone be so cruel as to stick that on a 22-year-old Rory? We can understand the appeal of coming full circle with Rory now carrying on the Gilmore Girls line. But not like this. Her life is already in shambles with no career, no partner and no home. Don’t trap her in Stars Hollow with an unplanned pregnancy and no future plans! Don’t make Logan the absentee parent or worse, like Luke, the parent who didn’t know he was one. And if all of this was just a cheap ploy to get Netflix to renew the revival series so we can see what happens next, well, we expected better from you, ASP.