Success is not guaranteed. In fact, any time anybody succeeds ever, it’s a fluke. You can say that you were deliberately trying to succeed all you want, pal, but in the end, it’s destiny that decides your fate. If something isn’t meant to be, then it won’t be, no matter how hard you fight for it. You can’t win all the time. It’s okay, though, because you don’t have to. The trick is not to hate failing, but to learn from your fails—and to post pictures of them to the internet, of course, so other people can laugh at them.
Mistakes should be remembered so we can avoid making them again. With that in mind, take a look at these 15 people whose disastrous fails we can learn from.
15. Fake it ’til you make it
The lesson? Never forget the thing you’re supposed to bring. Whether that thing is a casserole or your sunglasses or an extra pair of pants or, yes, even a recorder, it is vital in life that you arrive at your destination prepared. If you don’t, you’re setting yourself up for fail. And while fail is very good for us, it’s not so good for you.
To keep yourself from royally screwing the pooch in the future, remember this simple mnemonic device: never fail to never fail. It stands for never fail to never fail. If you can remember this, then you will never fail to never fail, and, consequently, you will never fail to never fail. Thank you for your time, please feel free to enjoy some of our complimentary cookies and coffee.
14. Better call Geek Squad
Damn stupid MacBook, with its shoddy Apple technology. This really steams our beans. You know, you buy a laptop, and you expect it to be able to stay intact even when it’s exposed to an open flame. But, no, precious wittwe bitty laptop is just too delicate to stand up to high heats. It’s just a fragile little flower. “Oh, I’m a thousand dollar computer that can do almost anything, but I can’t hold up in fire!” Be quiet, ya baby.
The thing to take away from all of this, in case you lack deductive powers, is to never leave a burning candle where it can singe a hole through your gadgets. You would think people would have enough common sense to figure that out on their own, but *shrugs*. We guess not.
13. The sinking of the Titanic
The day Francine decided to name her car “Titanic” was the day that it all started going downhill. It seemed like everything was going alright, at first. She was able to drive from point A to point B without a hitch. No big deal. But then, one day, Francine was driving home, and this iceberg appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly, she was trying to get women and children into lifeboats, and she could see Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio floating in the water nearby. Then, Francine hit this sinkhole, and she woke up.
12. Mistakes were made
Communicating with your teachers, coworkers, bosses and anyone else whom you’d like to maintain a professional relationship with via email and text message is a nightmare. In theory, it’s a great way to stay in touch with those people. It seems like text and email would make discussing assignments and projects a breeze. But, they don’t. Between autocorrect, sending messages to the wrong people and attaching the wrong files to your message, text and email are a disaster.
We like you, and that’s why we’re showing you this girl’s mistake. It’s because we don’t want you to fail the same way that she has. Do yourself a favor. Always double check your messages and attachments before you hit send. You’ll save yourself from a lot of embarrassment if you do.
11. There’s a sh*t storm in today’s forecast
They say dogs shouldn’t eat chocolate. Guess they figured we were smart enough to figure out for ourselves that dogs shouldn’t eat chocolate laxatives. We hope this person has cleared their schedule. In a few hours, they will embark upon the sh*ttiest journey of their lives. Maybe we should mail them a box of doggie poop bags. We have a feeling they’re going to need them pretty soon.
The look of innocence on this dog’s face is priceless. So naive. So unaware of the harm he’s brought on himself. The lesson here is never store the laxatives with the dog treats. Keep that stuff in a safety deposit box at the bank. If you don’t, then something like this could happen, and then? Well, sh*t.
10. We’re taking the elevator from now on
Huh. We always wondered what would happen to us if we got sucked into the escalator teeth. Guess now we know. Looks like once your shoe gets grabbed, you turn invisible, like this person has. You know what that means? Escalators are magic. Now, all we have to do is strap on a pair of Converse, head over to the mall and stand on those magic moving stairs just a hair too long. And then, once we become invisible, the pranking can begin.
Wait just a second, something’s coming in over the radio. It appears we are, in fact, wrong on this. We repeat, wrong. Apparently, if the escalator chews up your shoe, you don’t become invisible, you actually lose your foot. Oh, so you mean escalators aren’t magic? Darn.
9. Fashion felon
It’s amazing to us that one man can commit so many crimes against fashion at one time. The black skinny jeans, the dread locks that are way too long, not to mention the hat with the rear window. This is a disaster. And to think, this guy is just out there walking around, where children can see him commit his atrocities! A formidable thought, indeed. Someone call the fashion police so we can get this bum locked up and made over.
If we have to explain to you why you shouldn’t cut a hole in your hat for your hair to stick out, then you’re too far gone, fam. Time to find yourself a nice straight jacket and a comfy padded cell to live in. It’s for your own good.
8. She was her math teacher’s favorite student
At first we thought the commenter was just being harsh on this girl, but they actually have a point. Her eyebrows may not be on fleek, but they’re perfect for practicing basic division. We bet fourth graders follow her around all the time, trying to do their homework on her face, because those brackets that she’s using for eyebrows are great for long division.
This is the perfect look for mathletes, mathematicians and anyone who enjoys a good equation. For everybody else? It’s not so great. The lesson we can glean from this girl’s fail is to never use such sharp angles when plucking and/or stenciling your eyebrows. You might think you look like Elizabeth Taylor, but you don’t. You look like 10 divided by 2 equals 5.
7. This car’s not set in stone, but it will be
This isn’t the “Highway to the Danger Zone,” but it is the frontage road that runs parallel to the Highway to the Danger Zone. It’s called the Feeder to the Perilous Area, which doesn’t have as good of a ring to it as Highway to the Danger Zone, obviously, but Kenny Loggins had already staked his claim to that title, so we had to go with something else. Sorry to be disappointing.
The lesson here? Don’t drive through wet concrete. It’s pretty straightforward, really. We’re surprised you need us to tell you that. But, we guess there is another lesson to be learned here, too: Don’t disregard the traffic cones. Oh, and, the last lesson? Don’t expect people not to laugh at you for being an idiot.
6. Humankind has truly hit rock bottom
Kenny hasn’t quite got this “dumpster diving” thing down, yet, poor dope. He thought that if he bunched up small enough, he’d be able to squeeze his too-big body into that too-small opening. Alas. Kenny was wrong. And, now, he’ll have to spend the next two hours breathing in the fumes of dirty diapers, half-finished corner store hot dogs and used tissues, until the firefighters stop laughing at him and fire up the chainsaw to free him.
Okay, we think the lesson here is pretty obvious. Don’t go nosing through the garbage. It’s just icky. If you accidentally drop something in the trash can that doesn’t belong in there, like your wristwatch or your car keys, just cut your losses. Get a new watch. Get a new car.
5. Hang on, little doggie!
There are two sides to this fail. For the dad who left his daughter’s dog in the back of is truck while he was having it repaired, this is a blunder of gloriously epic proportions, and it’s highly unlikely that his daughter will ever forget his foolish mistake. But, while this is a massive fail for the dad, this is a real win for the dog.
That right there is a very good girl. She could have panicked. She could have tried to climb out of there. But, she didn’t. She remembered the training she received in obedience school, she trusted her master to keep her safe, even when she was clearly uncomfortable, and she remained calm in a stressful situation. That’s more than we can say for ourselves.
4. Dinner will be served at fail-thirty
Well, would you look at that? What a shame. A damn shame. Dinner is ruined, the ceramic baking dish is broken, there’s a mess all over the stove. What a disaster. Fortunately, this isn’t a total loss. There’s something to be learned from this fail, and as soon as we figure out what it is, we’ll call you and let you know.
Actually, the lesson to be learned here is never attempt to cook a meal at home. Leave the baking and cooking to the professionals. If you can’t get Grandma or Mom and Dad to whip something up for you, then stick with microwave dinners and fast food. Sure, you’ll probably get Type 2 diabetes, but what’s a life-threatening disease if it means you don’t have to deal with fails like this?
3. He’s not very good at his job
This picture documents Darren’s first and last day on the job. It’s tragic, really. He was stoked AF to become a firefighter. It had been his lifelong ambition. Ever since his mom and dad gave him that fire engine for Christmas when he was just a wee laddie of 3 years, he dreamed of fighting fires. Little did baby Darren know that when he grew up, he wouldn’t be fighting fires, he would be starting them.
Well, it’s no big deal. Get a broom and a wet vac in there, and we can get this place spick-and-span in no time. With a little elbow grease, you’ll never be able to tell this happened. Still, if you’re gonna be a firefighter, it would be a good idea not to play with matches.
2. Not today, pal
You can tell from the very first Snapchat there was only one way that this scenario was going to go, and that way is down. We bet you dollars to donuts that guy is still hiding under that rock he crawled under when the girl he thought was into him literally put her hand over her mouth to prevent him from kissing her. Wow, that’s rough. If he didn’t know how she felt about him before, he for sure as hell knows now.
This is why you should never try to kiss someone unless you have their permission. Maybe you think it’ll be romantic, but it’ll just backfire on you. Every. Single. Time. So, always ask before you swap spit with someone. It’s the only way to avoid a fail like this.
1. Found her
Get us full of champagne, leave us to sleep it off in the cold Icelandic wilderness, and we can pretty much guarantee that we would wind up doing the same thing this woman did. So, yeah. We can totally sympathize with her. Still, that is one embarrassing headline. When she gets home from vacation, her family and friends are never going to let her live this down.
The lesson to be learned here, kids, is always know where you are. If you know where you are, nobody else will need to know where you are, because you’ll always be here. And, if you’re here, you can’t be there, so you’ll never be lost! Are we making sense? Oh, well. Maybe the real lesson here is never leave the house.