We hate being adults. We long for the days of our childhood, when our parents took care of us, and when the most pressing decision we had to make was whether to spend the day building a blanket fort in the living room, or building an entire city with Legos. Sigh. Memories.
But if there’s one thing we absolutely adore about being grownups, it’s the freedom. Our parents aren’t the bosses of us anymore. No one is. Well, except for our work boss, but that’s different. What we’re saying is, if we want to stay up ’til midnight, we can. If we want to eat doughnuts for every meal, we can. Nobody tells us what to do. We’re rebels, just like these 15 people who don’t give a heck about the rules.
15. Highway to the danger zone
Heck the rules! You can’t tell us to drive carefully. You’re just a sign. We don’t gotta listen to you if we don’t wanna. You are not the boss of us, Mr. Street Sign. We are the boss of us, and if we want to exceed the speed limit, slip on a slick spot in the middle of the road and lose control of our vehicle, we are going to do it. There’s not a thing you can do to stop us. *Puts sunglasses on, starts car, crashes into the ditch*
Was this picture the result of a reckless rebel? Or, was it the result of intense irony? Can we think up even more alliterative adjectives? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? We simply don’t know.
14. Disrespecting the pouch
Oh, no. What have you done? You’ve wrecked it! It’s a good thing we aren’t living in an episode of Doctor Who, because it seems like doing something like this could cause another tear in the fabric of reality. This just…this isn’t right. This shouldn’t have happened. It’s an abomination, and we want it out of our sight right this very minute. We are Capri Done with this botched Capri Sun.
Actually, maybe we jumped the gun a bit there. We mean, sure, this Capri Sun pouch has been horribly and irreparably damaged. But no matter what happens to the outside, this pouch is still full of delicious, refreshing, tropical flavor. And isn’t that what’s important? People. Animals. Drink pouches. The exterior doesn’t really matter. When you get down to it, it’s what’s inside that counts.
13. Taking the speedy out of the checkout
We love a rebel. But this person. They took it too far. There are some stupid rules out there, and those stupid rules deserve to be broken, we’ll give you that much. But some rules should stand, because that’s what makes us a society. That’s what separates us from the heathens. We don’t need rules to dictate every little move we make, but we do need some basic laws to keep the world functioning smoothly.
With that in mind, the ten items or less checkout lane is one rule that should stand. The speedy checkout was designed to help people get in and out of the grocery store in a hurry. It’s a time saver. But it’s not a time saver when you’ve got scofflaws with 70 items ignoring the signs and taking the speedy out of the checkout.
12. Rebel with a cookie
We liked the 1955 film Rebel Without a Cause, but we felt that the unofficial sequel, Rebel With a Cookie, was much better. Unlike the original film, it wasn’t about a rebel being without a cause. It was about a rebel having a cookie. But, you probably figured that out when you read the titles.
The presence of cookies in the second film was a drastic improvement. James Dean was replaced by a suave, handsome Oreo. Natalie Wood’s part was taken over by a homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookie. We can’t really remember what the plot was, we just remember being really hungry. That’s probably what happened here. This person watched Rebel With a Cookie and got such a hankering for something sweet, they were forced to eat an After Eight cookie before eight o’clock.
11. Guess the book’s not too helpful
Either this guy doesn’t give a heck about the rules, or the book he’s reading isn’t very helpful. Or…maybe he’s not really alone in this picture. It could be that he lives with a race of invisible people, and that he’s surrounded by them right now, we just don’t know it because, again, the people are invisible.
Yes. Invisible people. This is the only plausible conclusion we could possibly arrive at after looking at this picture. Besides, if this man didn’t live with a bunch of invisible people, then why is there a chess set sitting right beside him? It’s because two of his invisible coworkers are playing a round of chess while he finishes his bologna sandwich. Obviously that’s what’s happening. We can’t believe you guys couldn’t tell. We knew it right away.
10. Label them sassy
If there’s one thing we can learn from this picture, it’s this: never give a label maker to anyone when they’re wearing their sassy pants. If there’s another thing we can learn from this picture, it’s…actually, we think that one thing is about all there is to learn from this picture. It’s not very useful, even if it is funny.
This is a very passive aggressive rebel. This is the kind of person who, when they find out you stole their bottle of Diet Cherry Coke, stuffs a potato in your exhaust pipe as revenge. They won’t actually confront you about whatever wrong you’ve supposedly done. But they will bend over backwards to see to it that you suffer—even if that means doing something as petty as printing a superfluous label.
9. Our new diet motto
If this is a salad, that means the bowl of Bluebell homemade vanilla ice cream that we ate last night was also a salad. Now we can finally get rid of the fruit, vegetables and other garbage we bought when we were trying to eat healthy. No need to have a salad made out of disgusting lettuce when you can have a salad made out of delicious pudding. *Pours thousand island salad dressing over a bowl of tapioca*
You know, as nice as it is to tell yourself the cookies and chips you’re eating qualifies as a salad because they’re in a bowl, we don’t think the scale is going to buy that. You’re going to gain 20 pounds, for sure. But that’s the price you pay when you don’t give a heck about the rules.
8. Okay then
11/10. A+. This is by far the best use of a treadmill we’ve ever witnessed. We’re still using ours as a clothes rack, but after seeing the way this rule-breaking rebel uses the treadmill at the gym, it looks like we’re going to have to move our sweaters and jeans to the closet, so we can roll it out into the living room and use it like this. Maybe exercising can be fun after all.
TFW you want to watch the free TV at the gym so you can see the latest episode of Bates Motel at nine, but you have to harvest the crops at 10. Honestly, if forced to choose which was more hilarious—wearing overalls to the gym, or sitting in a chair on a treadmill—we don’t think we could pick.
7. Didn’t you listen to the Kit Kat jingle?
NOOOOOO! What are you doing?!?! Haven’t you ever heard the Kit Kat bar jingle? The song clearly states that you’re supposed to break off pieces of the Kit Kat bar and eat them one at a time! You can’t just bite into the bar all willy nilly, completely ignoring the fact that the candy has clearly been separated into easily broken-apart sticks! What kind of fiend are you?!
Okay, before we continue, we think the time has come to set some ground rules. It was one thing displaying your rebelliousness by eating an After Eight cookie at 7:59. But when you do this to a Kit Kat bar? We cannot brook that kind of jackassery. Go sit in the corner until we figure out what to do with you, you rebel.
6. Pug don’t give a frick
Oliver was once a “good boy.” Then, he went bad. Now, Oliver is a rebel. He’s a loose cannon pug who doesn’t play by the rules. Oliver’s devil-may-care attitude, coupled with his blatant disregard for the rules, quickly captured the attention of big wig movie executives. Now, he’s getting his own action film series, which is set to hit theaters next summer. Think Mission Impossible but with dogs. And instead of being bad, these movies will be good—and most of that will be due to the fact that an adorable pug will be replacing weirdo Tom Cruise.
Oliver’s motto is “Heck the rules,” and he’s going to lead the revolution. Just what that revolution is, we don’t know yet. But whatever it is, we will gladly follow Oliver into battle, because he’s leader material.
5. Making a fashion statement
The reason this old man is all dressed up is because he just got back from Walmart. There, he used a coupon that his wife gave him to purchase two cases of Ensure. He also picked up some new tennis balls so that the legs of his sister’s walker wouldn’t scrape up the wood floors in his home. When he was done gathering the things he needed, he went to checkout, where he spent 17 minutes and 49 seconds writing out a check.
From there, he drove his Mercury Grand Marquis to the local Dunkin’ Donuts, careful to drive 10 miles under the speed limit and with his blinker on the whole way there. Being an old man who don’t give AF takes a lot out of you. This guy deserves a pretzel croissant breakfast sandwich.
Most people think that being a rebel means making grandiose displays of your rebelliousness. The word “rebel” conjures the image of James Dean, wearing that leather jacket of his and smoking a cigarette in his signature “too cool for school” manner. It makes people think about overthrowing public officials, disobeying the law and doing what their parents specifically told them not to.
While those things are all well and good, a true rebel knows that you don’t always have to go big with your rebelliousness. You can still stick it to the man in small but meaningful ways. Take this kid’s test answer, for example. He didn’t have to graffiti an overpass to prove his affinity for anarchy. All he had to do was use four words instead of three. Legendary.
3. Redbox doesn’t judge
Oh. So…so you’re really going to go out like that, huh? With no clothes at all, just a bed sheet wrapped around your naked body? Well, we suppose that’s alright—if you’re a rebel who says “Heck the rules,” that is. We certainly hope it wasn’t too windy the day this happened. For this woman’s sake, and ours.
Wearing a bed sheet and a pair of flip flops out in public. That is a brave fashion statement, and we think it’s so controversial that it could give the suspenders with sweatpants look a real run for its money. Oh, but don’t go trying to pull off either of those outfits unless you are a tried and true rebel. It takes a real anarchist to go down to the Redbox wrapped in a queen size sheet.
2. That’s definitely a Rascal
This is a Rascal brand scooter, and you might think Rascal is just a cute name that was meant to be taken lightly, but Sam, the owner of this vehicle, does not. Sam takes the name of the Rascal very seriously. The Rascal is not for the timid or the meek. It was not designed to carry the average, docile, law-abiding citizen. The Rascal is a veritable powerhouse and it was made to tote the rebellious.
Ever since his son bought him his Rascal scooter, Sam has gone out of his way to be an anarchist. One time, he rode his Rascal up a ramp, even though it clearly said “No scooters allowed”. And just last week, he drove his Rascal down to the convenience store and parked like this.
1. He’s not kitten around
Finally, we have the biggest rebel of them all. This cat, who, evidently, does not have a spare frick to give. He may have been banned from the local supermarket, he may not be welcomed in their establishment for the rest of his nine lives. But does he care? No. Here he is, sitting by the pizza and deli sandwiches, waiting for someone to fight him about it. What a savage little bastard.
Leave it to cats to be spiteful furballs. This cat probably didn’t even want to come back to the grocery store once the manager banned him, but he did anyway, because he’s a petty kitty. He wasn’t about to let some puny human dictate what he does. That’s not how he rolls. You go, man. Fight the power.
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