Growing up, Rory Gilmore was always my hero. She wasn’t afraid to be the smart girl, she had a great relationship with her mom, and she ate junk food all the time. Basically, she was my idol and I wanted to be her. But over the years, and especially after watching the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix, I started to notice that Rory kind of sucks. In fact, she’s downright awful (let’s just agree to disagree). My childhood heroine is actually not that great of a person. But I related to her so much growing up! Does that mean I suck too? I hope not. My self-esteem is too fragile to go down that route at this time in my life. So let’s just leave it with Rory being the awful person here. Don’t believe me? Think she was only a terrible human in the revival? Think again. Rory Gilmore has been awful from the start and here’s why:
15. When She Was In Love With Jess But Was Still Dating Dean
Remember when Rory was dating the slightly dim but incredibly sweet Dean, who would bend over backwards (which is asking a lot of a tall guy) to help her? This boy was hopelessly in love with Rory. He built her a car! And he even hung out with her and her mom, which isn’t the easiest thing for a teenage boy to do. But then, in swoops Jess and all of a sudden Rory develops a bad boy complex. So, does she break things off with Dean and admit her heart is being pulled in a new rebellious direction? Of course not. She sneaks around on Dean and waits until HE breaks up with HER because it is painfully obvious that she is in love with someone else. Nice going, Rory. Maybe next time let the guy down easy and do it yourself.
14. When She Had An Affair With A Married Man
Speaking of Dean, remember when he married Lindsay in a classic example of a small town boy going nowhere? But instead of letting Dean live out his teenage marriage and construction worker job, Rory had to mess up everything when she decided she actually wanted him back. Get in line, Rory. Because apparently, there wasn’t enough boys at Yale so she thought it would be a good idea to connect with her ex-boyfriend who is now married and lives just a few hours away. Then what does she do? Does she respect his new marriage and be happy that he moved on from their previous relationship? Nope! Instead, she has an affair! And she has the audacity to call him, “My Dean” like she owns him because they dated in the ninth grade. PUH-LEASE. And after all the drama form their affair and Dean ending his marriage, Rory decides she’s actually better than a lowly townie and would rather hang around with rich kids at her grandparents house. Hey Rory, stop leading Dean on!
13. When She Had ANOTHER Affair With An Engaged Man
What is with this girl and affairs? Doesn’t she understand how monogamous coupling works? If someone has a ring on it or they’re about to get a ring on it, they are no longer up for grabs. Do you know how many available men are in the world, Rory? Now sure, we don’t want to put all the blame on Rory here. Of course the guys she cheated with are also at fault. But you have to admit that she has a bit of a pattern going on. Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen the revival: Rory and Logan keep up a year long, cross-continent affair where they sleep with each other in London without telling their partners who live elsewhere. What happens in London, stays in London. Actually, no Rory! London is not Vegas. It’s not some secret place where you can act like a horrible human and it won’t affect the outside world. If you’re awful in London, you’re still awful everywhere else.
12. When She Was A Hypocrite And Got Mad At Her Boyfriend For Cheating
Now, this might be the worst part. After all of that cheating and getting involved with affairs, you would think that Rory would have a pretty loose moral compass. Surely she could understand that what comes around goes around. If you’re going to cheat, karma is going to bite you in the backside eventually. But Rory can’t see that. She is a complete hypocrite! While she and Logan are on a “break”, he sleeps with some other girls. Rory finds out and gets all upset – she moves out of his apartment, breaks up with him, and then is super passive aggressive after they get back together. And in Logan’s defense, he thought they were broken up! So he even has an excuse. What’s YOUR excuse for being a dirty hypocrite, Rory? We’ll wait.
11. When She Couldn’t Handle Criticism & Stole A Boat
As someone with a pretty fragile self-esteem and overly sensitive side, I don’t do so well with criticism. If someone says something critical against me, I take it pretty hard. I might cry and wallow in a tub of ice cream. I might lash out and call them names. I might even take their criticism to heart and seriously consider changing my life. But do you know what I never do? Steal a damn boat! Who does that? Seriously, Rory! Could you not think of a healthier way to channel your sadness and anger? You’re a smart girl. You go to Yale! Surely they teach you that stealing is a dumb idea. And it’s even dumber when you steal something as obvious as a rich person’s yacht. If you need to blow off some steam, go to Vegas not the marina.
10. When She Dropped Out Of Yale
All through Rory’s time at Chilton she couldn’t stop talking about wanting to go to Harvard. That was her dream! We even got to visit the Harvard campus with her. And then all of a sudden, she switched to Yale. And we were all like, “Sure, whatever. What’s one Ivy League over the other? Have fun, Rory! Go bulldogs!” She gets there and it’s a bit rocky but she eventually hits her stride. And then what happens? One newspaper bro tells her she doesn’t have it and she decides to throw in the towel. Not only does she decide to give up on journalism and steal a boat, she drops out of school! What?? Rory, I don’t think Mitchum was saying “if you can’t be a reporter you should just give up on life in general and drop out of school.” What the heck are you doing?
9. When She Stopped Talking To Lorelai
Rory and Lorelai have always been best friends and as close as close could be. So when they get in a fight, it physically hurts us. But we get it, moms and daughters fight. They have little spats. But not talking to Lorelai and completely cutting her out of your life? Too far, Rory. Way too far. You know your life is falling apart when your best option is moving into your grandparents pool house and party planning for the DAR. This is not what an Ivy League-educated 20 year old should be doing. And you know who told you that, Rory? Your mother. Because she is a sassy and brilliant woman who always has your best interest at heart. So please don’t cut her out of your life just because you’re having an early mid-life crisis. Get it together, Rory!
8. When She Strung Paul Along
Remember when Rory was having her long distance affair with her engaged college boyfriend? Well, she also had a boyfriend of two years waiting for her back in New York. Sure, Paul was the forgettable joke of the Gilmore Girls revival. We were supposed to find it comical that no one could remember meeting him and that Rory kept forgetting to break up with him. But let’s take a step back and think about how cruel that is. Paul is a nice guy. He brought Luke a present, fixed Lorelai’s computer, and drove all the way to Stars Hollow to see Rory for one night before she headed back to her ex-boyfriend in London. He does not deserve to be strung along like this! If you can’t even remember to break up with your boyfriend of two years, you truly are an awful person. Poor Paul.
7. When She Had The Worst Job Interview Ever
I’m pretty sure I have never cringed harder then when I was watching Rory’s interview for the job at Sandee Says. How painful was it to watch Rory being so entitled and completely dismissing an entire office of people? Who in the world do you think you are, Rory? Sandee doesn’t owe you anything. Sure, she’s been trying to get you to join her staff for a while. But that’s because she thought you were an intelligent reporter. The kind of reporter who would show up to an interview with pitches and having read the website beforehand. She doesn’t owe you a job. When people say they hate entitled millennials, they are talking about you, Rory Gilmore. Get off your high horse and realize that the world doesn’t owe you anything. Just because you decided to show up at an interview in your lucky dress doesn’t mean you get the job.
6. When She Forgot How Privileged She Was
Lorelai’s claim to fame is that she ran away from home as a pregnant 16 year old. She rejected her family’s money, connections, and made a life for herself and her daughter without any help. She moved up from a maid, to manager, to co-owner of her own inn. She is the American dream. But Rory? Not so much. Sure, Lorelai made sure to raise her without a silver spoon in her mouth. But as she grew up, Rory got pretty used to enjoying that silverware. Let’s start with the fact that she had her tuition to private school and an Ivy League college completely paid for by her grandparents. She also had no problem accepting trips to Europe, a car, and even an apartment from her grandparents. Face it Rory, you’re a privileged spoiled brat. Without those giving grandparents and thoughtful mom, you wouldn’t have a chance.
5. When She Was The Worst Reporter Ever
Sorry to say it Rory, but looks like Mitchum had a point. You might not be cut out to be a reporter. I’m sure you’re a great writer. But a reporter needs some essential skills. Let’s start with not falling asleep on the job. Especially when it’s a job you volunteered for and went out of your way to get. And it wasn’t even that boring! Interviewing people who are standing in line for something crazy is not the worst assignment you could’ve gotten. And then, to make things even better, you decided to ditch the job early to go and sleep with one of your sources. How professional, Gilmore. I’m sure GQ is just dying to publish a story about a lazy wannabe reporter getting drunk at a bar and sleeping with a Wookie.
4. When She Forgot She Was 32
Can we all just take a step back and remember that the Gilmore Girls revival is set in present time? That means that our Rory Gilmore is no longer a young college grad but a 32 year old bona fide adult. And I’m not trying to say that all 32 year olds need to have it together. But at 32, you would think she would have something together. Some part of her life needs to be in some semblance of order. When we left Rory she was on the campaign trail with Barack Obama. That sounded promising! How did she not ride that train all the way to the bank? She should have been front row at all of the White House press conferences for the last eight years. Why, at 32, does she just have one piece in the New Yorker as the only thing happening in her career? And don’t even get me started on her love, social, or home life.
3. When She Was Terrible With Money
Rory is bad with money. Which really isn’t a surprise, considering her grandparents’ bank rolled her for most of her life. But she is shockingly bad with money for someone who went to Yale and is in her 30’s. To start off, she doesn’t really have a job and she’s living with her mom in her childhood bedroom. But despite not having an income, she’s back and forth to London every couple of weeks. Those trans-Atlantic flights are not cheap! And then she decides to spend her time working at the Stars Hollow Gazette, where she doesn’t make any money. Oh and working on a manuscript, that doesn’t pay her any money. In fact, has Rory ever had a real job? Does she know that she needs to get one? Or is Emily still sending her checks every couple of weeks?
2. When She Disrespected Lorelai
This one burns us. It’s one thing to not talk to Lorelai, but it’s another thing to openly go against her and be disrespectful. Remember when Lorelai learned about Anna and April for the first time? And then Rory took it on herself to go and spy on Anna despite Lorelai specifically telling her not to. And Rory had the gall to act all shocked that Lorelai was mad when she found out. She told you not to do that, Rory! Why the hell don’t you listen? Just like when she told you not to write a book about her and you went ahead and did it anyway. You’re lucky Lorelai is so understanding and quick to forgive. You’re also lucky your her daughter. But yeah, maybe you should hate yourself today. I’d hate anyone who dared to cross Lorelai like that.
1. When She Got Pregnant
Controversial, I know! Now, don’t get me wrong: there is nothing awful about being pregnant or having a baby. And not all unplanned pregnancies are awful. But Rory being pregnant is awful. It’s awful writing (yes, looking at you Amy Sherman Palladino) and awful for her character’s life. Why? Because Rory, even at 32 years old, is woefully unfit to be a mother. She’s unemployed. Or, she is employed, but neither of her jobs pay anything. She’s living at home with her mother. And the father of her child lives in London and is engaged to a French heiress. So yeah, things are looking pretty crapy for Rory. Not to mention that her dream in life was to get out of Stars Hollow, but seeing as she has no money, no house, and no partner, this baby might make her stuck. We wanted so much more for you, Rory. But it might be time to take a long hard look in the mirror and figure out how your terrible life decisions all brought you to this.
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