Overzealous: it's a term many of us are familiar with because, uh, we definitely can be. For some reason, women are the absolute best at overreacting (excluding all those Pisces guys... just kidding, sort of).
It's universal girl talk when we assume something that's likely not true but we manage to find one thousand ways to make it so. Some might attribute it to our natural tendency to be insecure, while others say that it could be due to a lack of self-confidence. In reality? It's probably due to the fact that we are just women and that's just what we do.
Although it's a pretty common habit, it tends to drive guys crazy when it comes to relationships. But guys, we really can't help it! We'll always believe the worst and will manage to be convinced that the world is ending if we don't get a text back right away.
It's just the natural order of the world that we believe something is constantly wrong. A woman will always believe that the end is near until she's fully confident and comfortable in a relationship.
But, what happens when the end actually is near? How can we tell the difference between a relationship coming to a close and a relationship that's just having an off day? These are the questions everyone should really be asking and luckily, we happen to have the answers.
20 Overreaction: If He Doesn't Respond Right Away
This is not a code red. We repeat: this is not a code red. Guys aren't that great at texting anyway, for the most part, which makes this behavior completely unsurprising. It is quite possible that he simply got busy or forgot, especially at the beginning of a relationship. It's no cause to alert the media and send out a search team. If anything, it's a sign that he's normal and has a healthy, busy life.
Give him a chance to respond and surely all of that patience will be rewarded. If he doesn't text back, then chances are that you never should have been wasting time texting him in the first place.
19 Leaning: Intentionally Seeming As Though He's Avoiding Calls And Texts
Now, if he's obviously avoiding texts and, eventually, phone calls, that's a problem. There's no reason for a guy to avoid communication unless he doesn't want anything to do with the person on the other end, and that's just a rude thing to do.
If you catch him online on social media (that's right, we know about all your cyber-stalking) and he's refusing to answer calls or texts, then something is definitely up. This could be his way of disengaging or pushing you away, and either way, it's a sign that the relationship is slowly coming to a sad end.
18 Overreaction: Seeming Distant Or Not Engaging In Conversation
This is not always a cause for concern. There are many things in our lives that can cause us to be distant and untalkative, and it's not always our romantic lives. Guys can be weird sometimes and can also have a tough time opening up, so when this happens, try an open line of communication. Let him know that it's perfectly okay to talk (or not talk) and that it seems like something is bothering him.
The worst thing we can do is push the issue—a guy will come to his partner when he's ready. Just letting him know that you're there is enough and reassuring him can only strengthen your bond.
17 Leaning: Not Showing Any Signs Of Caring Or Remembering What His Girlfriend Says
Some guys really just aren't good company and this includes those who can't remember a single thing we've said. We've all met someone like this... He turns on the charismatic charm and acts as though he's interested, then things get serious and suddenly he can't remember our last name.
This is definitely the type of relationship that screams to be ended early on but we don't always take the hint. In that case, when a guy starts seeming uninterested, unengaging, and as though he couldn't care less about your day, it's a warning sign. Tougher things are up ahead if we don't bail out ASAP.
16 Overreaction: Having A New Friend Who Happens To Be Female
It's okay, ladies—there's no need to immediately feel threatened by another female presence. We're just going to go ahead and say it: this is often a double-standard. While we tend to freak a little when our guys have a new friend who happens to be a female, we all have more guy best friends than we can count. It's not exactly fair, but that's beside the point.
The point is, that if we can manage to avoid having romantic feelings for any of them, then we should really trust our partners to do the same. And if that's impossible? Do the obvious: befriend her!
15 Leaning: There's No Balance Between Relationship Time And New Friend Time
On the other hand, if he's actively spending more time with his new gal-pal than with his girlfriend, that might be something to start dwelling on. It's more than possible to achieve a balance between relationships and friendships, but if a guy struggles with this, then he might not be boyfriend material yet.
We're not going to imply that there could be some romantic feelings bubbling under the surface, but... yeah, okay, there could definitely be some of that going on. Better to know sooner rather than later, right? The last thing any of us wants is to be hurt by someone we care about, so don't hesitate to bring this one up.
14 Overreaction: Canceling On Date Night Or A Special Event
Things happen and emergencies come up, and much of the time they're just unavoidable. This doesn't mean that your partner doesn't have serious feelings for you or that he's trying to work his way out of spending time with you. It simply means that something came up (which is likely exactly what he said) and he won't be able to make it to whatever you had planned.
There's nothing wrong with this happening once in a blue moon and while it is something we'll be upset over, it's not worth ending the relationship for. He'll likely be more than apologetic and, hey, this is a great way to have him owe you something fun in return.
13 Leaning: Having No Valid Excuse For Ducking Out
What's even worse than not showing up at all is being with a guy who has practically no valid excuse for leaving early. Saying he 'has to go' isn't a good enough excuse, especially for an event that means something to us. Whether it's a family gathering, an event with our friends, or something that we've paid for, it's never okay to leave without a legitimate reason.
Of course, there will be times when it's necessary, but if he can't even come up with a good fib? Then he's obviously not the one. Anyone who can't stand being in a place he doesn't want to be for someone he cares about simply isn't worth it in the long run.
12 Overreaction: Not Answering A FaceTime Call
Not everyone is comfortable FaceTiming, most of all, guys. It can definitely be awkward—it's unclear as to how we should hold the phone to get the best angle, sometimes the feed cuts out, the audio isn't always clear, and we look a little bit silly talking to a screen. It's okay for him to not be into video chats and all we can do is respect it.
It's definitely not a relationship-ender, though, and it means nothing other than the obvious: he just doesn't enjoy video-chatting. Not specifically with us, but with anyone. As much as we might want him to love seeing our faces, it's not everyone's bag.
11 Leaning: Not Responding Becomes Somewhat Routine, Especially When He's Not Busy
This all goes back to the whole 'avoiding texts and calls' bit. If we know for a fact that a guy is home and not busy (like, when he says he's off and is lounging around the house), yet he refuses to answer our texts, that's a bad sign. He could just be having an off day which is more than understandable, but if it becomes routine, then he's not just having an off life— he's actually ignoring us.
It's a bit of a blow, especially when it's someone we've pinned high hopes on, but it's better that we recognize the signs earlier rather than later on.
10 Overreaction: Hanging Out With His Friends A Bit More
So, the guy we're dating recently made new friends and seems to be spending a whole lot of time with them. Fridays, which were once date nights, are now a guy's night out for bowling and brews. As much as it brings us down, it's not something that means the relationship is over.
What it means is that our partner has found people who share his interests and people he has fun with, and we're likely a little jealous. A simple talk could remedy this if we really wanted to, but there's no harm in allowing our partners to have a little bit of fun when they're not with us.
9 Leaning: He Doesn't Talk To You When He's With The Guys
If he avoids us while he's with the guys, however, that could be a bit of a problem. Let's be realistic here: we want the world, but we don't actually expect it from the people we're dating. What we do expect is a little bit of respect and attention, including when he's out with his friends.
A text that contains nothing except a bit of reassurance that he's okay and having fun is enough, but when we don't even get that? It's time to start thinking about what his priorities are. Guy's night is all the rage and can be a blast, but it doesn't mean he has a free pass to ignore his partner.
8 Overreaction: Finding A New Hobby And Not Inviting His Girlfriend
Honestly, is poker night with the guys something that sounds like fun? Just kidding, it totally sounds like a blast. Regardless, something we often neglect to realize is that our partner has every right to not invite us out with his friends. We wouldn't invite him out to go shoe shopping or to get pedicures with our girlfriends, so why should we expect the same from him?
Having other interests, hobbies, and, yes, even friends, is absolutely a good thing in a relationship. We need that time apart to be ourselves and to be around other people because it's healthier than being in our partner's face all the time.
7 Leaning: He Starts Relying On Other Things To Occupy His Time
The major difference comes when we find our partner skipping out on time they'd saved for us to go do other things. If he starts canceling on dates or, even worse, doesn't even make them, we can be pretty sure that something is up. It's not just that he has other interests—it could be that he's looking for a way out of spending time with us.
It's not the most pleasant realization, but it is one that could save us plenty of awkward conversations if we pick up on it early. If he seems to be doing a lot without us and is distancing himself in the process, we're likely not the biggest thing on his mind.
6 Overreaction: Needing Some 'Me' Time Isn't Just For Girls
He's totally allowed to go out with his friends! No relationship should exist where a guy feels as though he's a traitor to his partner if he decides to hang out with his best buds. Friends, especially best friends, can be such an important part of our lives. No one has the right to request that we sacrifice our friendships for a relationship.
It doesn't matter what we think of his friends (unless they're really a bad influence on him), he has social needs just like we do. We can't expect him to drop everything—including his friends—just to worship us every day.
5 Leaning: He's Trying To Gain Some Distance With 'Space'
Oof, needing 'space' never really sounds like a good thing. Much of the time, it's not—and it's usually the precursor to the end of a relationship. The term needing 'space' can definitely mean that one person needs a cooling-off period, but it can also mean that they're putting off the inevitable.
If a guy claims that he needs space, he could be confused and unsure of what he wants. If we're completely sure of what we want then this could obviously pose a bit of a question mark over the relationship as a whole. It's up to us to decide if we want to remain in limbo or not.
4 Overreaction: Openly Disagreeing With An Opinion
Ladies, he's totally allowed to have a differing opinion. Even if it's something highly controversial and on an issue that matters to us, he's still allowed to have it. That's why we have the freedoms that we do and, unfortunately, this includes being respectful of how others feel.
If he openly disagrees with you, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's trying to end the relationship or that his allegiance to us has changed. It simply means that he's comfortable expressing himself and comfortable trusting that we won't shut him out because of it. Well, hopefully not, anyway.
3 Leaning: Depending On What The Opinion Is, It Could Mean More
This is the truth. We do have opinions that are non-negotiable, and that's okay, too. Depending on how the opinion is brought up and how he phrases his disagreement, it could mean much more to us than just a differing opinion. He could be trying to pit us against him, in which case, he might actively be seeking a way out of the relationship.
If his opinions begin changing suddenly, it could be the case that he was never actually honest with us in the first place. There are many factors to consider, but honesty is first and foremost the single most important thing in any relationship.
2 Overreaction: Having An Argument Can Sometimes Be A Healthy Thing
So we got into a disagreement... it happens! This isn't to say that actively fighting as a regular hobby is a good thing, but it's not necessarily unhealthy. If we're with someone and we never have tense feelings around them, whether it's over something they've said or done, then we might not be acting true to who we are.
The first few months of a relationship might be the perfect time to be nice and courteous but after the honeymoon phase, fights are going to happen. If we don't get out all of that tension then the relationship will likely falter as a result. As long as we can talk things out afterward, the relationship is perfectly fine.
1 Leaning: If He Starts An Argument, That's A Bad Sign
It could be about anything from the way we cut our hair to our family, but if it happens, it's a problem. Some guys aren't the greatest when it comes to explaining that they want to break up so instead, they'll cause tension in the hopes that it's mutual.
These feelings of lashing out could also be attributed to the fact that he just doesn't want to hurt our feelings, and it's a good sign that he's internalizing quite a bit. Being able to pick up on it won't make things any easier, but it will allow us the chance to split amicably rather than in our separate balls of fury.