Ah brunch, the most magical meal of the day.
Sunday is an optimal day for brunch, but if you’re fun, employed, or ridiculously wealthy, you can have brunch on whatever day you like.
Not only do you get to enjoy french toast, pancakes, and omelettes way past breakfast time, it’s also socially acceptable to down a couple cocktails before noon. As long as you call it “brunch.”
Yes Jess. Yes, you can. As long as you call it 'brunch.'
Brunch is a blank canvas: a neutral space that’s totally appropriate for celebrating milestones, gossiping with your people, or rewarding yourself after a grueling spin class.
We’ve compiled the top ten types of brunch every women must try. The best thing about these categories? Most of them are mix-and-match, though you better check yourself before attempting the hungover/post-sex/meet the parents brunch. That’s some expert-level Sunday morning shizz. And don't worry, all these are Sex and the City-approved, because we all know that those fab four were the queens of brunch.
10 Hangover Brunch
Brunch was clearly created for people with hangovers. There’s a reason Bloody Mary’s are so popular with the brunch crowd: a little hair of the dog, plus tomato juice for vitamin C, some veggies, bacon, a cocktail shrimp . . . whatever. But it works.
We all know that a little bit of grease will help cure what ails you on a Sunday
Hangover brunch is a state of mind.
9 Post-Yoga Brunch
Post-yoga brunch is a thing of beauty.
So is post-dance class brunch, post-strength training brunch . . .
Impressive multi-tasking, no?
Whatever floats your boat on the weekend.
The whole point of getting up early on a Sunday and sweating it out to TSwift club mixes is brunch, right?
Haters gonna hate, so get extra cheese on that omelette.
A little exercise goes a long way, and once you’ve got those endorphins going, your brunch is going to taste 1000% better. Order the chicken and waffles, or the crepe with extra whipped cream. You’ve earned it.
8 Girlfriend Brunch
Girlfriend brunch might just be the glue that holds the universe together. Every weekend we pay homage to our favorite ladies who brunch, the fab four from Sex and the City.
The brunch table is a safe place to share your hopes and doubts, dating horror stories, and resumé writing tips.
And red carpet hair-flip tips.
Unless someone invites your worst frenemy.
In which case, you show them that you’re above that petty sh*t, because we need to lift each other up instead of tearing each other down, amirite?
Brunch: bringing women together, one waffle at a time.
7 Mommy Meet-up
All new mommies are super-psyched about their rosy, dimpled bundles of joy. . . but that doesn’t mean they won’t jump at the chance to meet up for pancakes.
Sometimes the kiddos ride along, and we childless ladies get to practice balancing a baby and noshing an upscale toad-in-the-hole at the same time. For the mommies out there, it’s a chance to farm your kid out for an hour or two and remember what it’s like to unwind a little and eat food that’s still hot.
In other words, mommy meet-up brunch is a win-win!
6 Vacation Brunch
When you’re on vacation, the hours between breakfast and dinner are technically “brunch.” Really, who cares what time it is when you’re laying on the beach or exploring the local sights?
Make sure to fortify yourself with multiple naps to keep up with your rigorous brunch schedule. Eat anything and everything you can. In the name of adventure, of course.
Here's to adventure!
5 Post-Sex Brunch
Walk of shame? More like walk to brunch.
There are two types of post-sex brunches: the first one and the rest of them.
There’s something a little magical about the first brunch with a new partner. Maybe it’s after your third date. Maybe your first. Maybe it wasn’t *technically* a date at all. We’re not judging.
You wake up, surreptitiously wiping last night’s mascara off your cheek and making awkward small-talk while hunting for your sock/earrings/dignity.
Oh, they’re free this morning? So are you. Hungry? Yeah, you could eat. And there’s a great place up the street with killer breakfast tacos.
Maybe you fall into a comfortable routine, and brunch becomes your thing. Maybe that taco place will cater your wedding someday.
4 Meet the Parents Brunch
You’ve done a few (hundred) brunches with your S.O., and now the parents are in town. They’re definitely excited to
pick apart your relationship meet you.
A cocktail will help quell those butterflies, and a plate of crab cakes benedict will definitely convince them that you’ve got your life together.
Pick out a demure blouse and make sure to book a table for four in advance.
Parents love it when you plan ahead—it tricks them into thinking you’re a responsible adult. No need to tell them you had booze and ice cream for dinner last night.
3 Wedding Party Brunch
Go to someone else’s wedding-party brunch at least once. Crash that baby if you have to. The Wedding-Industrial Complex is alive and well, and this means you’re in for some premium brunch food . . .
And at least one passive-aggressive toast.
If you’re a bridesmaid, this is the perfect time to scope out the other singles in the wedding party and plan your post-ceremony, sloppy make-out sesh.
Congrats to the happy couple, and pass the maple syrup!
2 Birthday Brunch
Another revolution around the sun, another existential crisis. Grab your girl squad and head out for all the brunch food.
Celebrate your awesomeness with a little confetti.
Maybe some confetti pancakes?
Make sure to wash it down with a mimosa. It’s your day, so treat yourself.
Speaking of mimosas . . .
1 Bottomless Mimosa Brunch
Mimosas. That perfect combination of orange juice and sparkling wine. This is the Holy Grail of brunches, obviously.
Bottomless mimosas are about quantity over quality, but after your third glass you don’t really care about terroir any more, do you?
The bottomless-mimosa brunch means business, so make sure you have a DD, or plan a post-brunch stroll through the neighbourhood before heading home.
Be happy. Be bubbly. Relax. You have now become one with brunch.