Parents. They bring you into this world. They clothe you, bathe you, feed you. They nurture you and teach you and love you more than anybody else in this world possibly could. What else do parents do? Embarrass the ever living crap out of you whenever the chance presents itself. Thanks Mom and Dad!
If you admire your own saltiness, sassiness and/or smartassiness, then you can thank your parents for that. Data shows that a child's ability to troll is directly influenced by their parents' ability to troll (actually, we don't have any hard data to back that statement up, but if you could just roll with us on this one, that would be great). So let's all admire these 15 awesome parents who epicly trolled their kids—and we should probably take notes, too.
15 Selfie level: Expert
Anything you can do, Dad can do better. That includes artsy fartsy Instagram selfies. Look at you, Sandra. You think you're so sophisticated. You think you're so clever for combining the hippie and the forest fairy aesthetic. You think you're going to get so many notes when you post this pic on Tumblr. But Dad has news for you. Dad sees your imaginative, earthy selfie, and he raises you an imaginative, earthy selfie.
Aren't you going to hate it, Sandra, when Dad finds that notebook that you keep all of your passwords in? Aren't you going to hate it when he successfully logs onto your Tumblr account? Aren't you going to hate it when he posts this selfie? And won't you absolutely lose it when his selfie gets more likes than yours? Yeah. That's what we thought.
14 TFW you're a skeleton and your parents have no chill
It's quite clear to us, after reading the text, that this boy's parents have absolutely zero chill. We mean, we can see having to resort to drastic measures to get your kids to eat their meals. And plus, parenting is the hardest thing a human being could possibly do. When you're forever picking up toys and cleaning spit up off the floor and changing suspiciously wet bed sheets, you have to figure out a way to prank your kids. It's for your own sanity.
We imagine that's why this little boy's parents pulled one over on him. He's too young to know they're pranking him. It's funny, we have to admit. His Mom and Dad are a pair of hardcore tricksters. But, oh! The look on his face! Give that baby some regular pajamas, you monsters!
13 Master troll
Whoa. Hold on there, friend! It looks like you've got way more sass and saltiness than one single person is allowed to have. Your epic attitude has reached critical mass! If we don't get you to a troll surgeon right away, your awesomeness might cause you to explode with incredible epicness! Let's get this dad to the ER, stat, so we can remove some of his mad skills before he succumbs to rad-ness.
Wow, Dad. Don't beat around the bush. Say what you really think about your child's face. Sheesh. You never want to tell your kid that you think they're ugly. It's too easy to give them the wrong impression. Instead of telling his kid he thinks they're ugly, this Dad should have just said, "You take after your mother." Oh, snap. Yeah, we went there.
12 Yes, this is Dog
"Of course I don't love the dog more than you, honey," said Mom as she cut out yet another picture of Scruffy and placed it in the picture frame that Darren's photos used to call home. Ever since Darren left home for college, he worried that his mother was using the family dog to fill the void of losing her son. Little did Darren know that this could not be more untrue.
Scruffy was Mom's favorite. He always had been. The adorable dog may well have been a Christmas present for her son, but that puppy was hers. In truth, Darren's mom did not miss him. She was glad he was gone, because now she could spoil her favorite, instead of spending her paychecks on "clothes" and "medical care" for her son. Sorry, Darren. This is Dog's house, now.
11 The delicious smell of disappointment
Some people are really nice. They sing along to the songs in Disney movies and bake tasty treats for their coworkers. They're the type of people who restore your faith in humanity. Then there are other people who are not so nice. In fact, they're downright horrible. Mean-spirited, that's what they are. They don't sing along with Disney movies. And they certainly don't bake delicious treats for their family and friends.
But, what these awful people will do is spray Cinnabon scented air freshener in the house, in order to make their family and friends think they bake delicious treats. Cruel? Abso-freaking-lutely. Savage as all get out. This parent's troll level is enviable, and if we weren't hardcore craving a cinnamon roll right now, we would be totally jealous.
10 Dad's hunting trip '14
The year was 2014. The Robinson family remembers it like it was yesterday. Dad was having a hard time. He grew restless, dissatisfied. His old hobbies weren't cutting it anymore. He wanted to broaden his horizons. He wanted to be more and to do more. So he decided that in order to reach his full potential, he needed to go duck hunting.
His family knew that he was in the midst of an existential crisis, but they were always supportive of his endeavors. They waved goodbye as he backed out of the driveway with the family's two Labrador retrievers and a shotgun that he had no idea how to use. Only when the family got this picture in the mail did they realize that Dad wasn't having a breakdown. He was just a troll.
9 Best wedding gift ever
Alright, so at this point in the article, we think it's a good time to go over the things that we've learned so far. For starters, we know that Dad thinks you're ugly AF. Secondly, we know that Mom loves the family dog more than she loves you. Evidently, the cruelty doesn't stop there, because Mom and Dad also think that you are a fat tub of lard. Aren't parents so great? This card is so savage, we can't even handle it, right now. Damn, Mom and Dad. Teach us your trolling ways!
Maybe, instead of a set of bathroom scales, what these parents should be paying for is a group therapy session. A little family time with a trained professional would not go amiss in this situation. In the meantime, stay salty, Mom and Dad.
8 Let's not rub it in
What a gem of a picture. If you look very closely, you can see Virgin Girl promising herself that, when the time comes, she will put Dad in the worst nursing home she can possibly find. Revenge will be hers. He had better yuk it up now, because as soon as he starts wearing those adult diapers, Virgin Girl is going to be in charge. Hope this "funny" picture was worth it, Dad. Enjoy it while you can, old man.
The tradition of having Dad take ridiculous photos of you when you're little is one that you can never fully appreciate until you get older. The Virgin Girl may be unhappy right now. But, mark our words, in twelve more years, she'll be showing this picture off to everybody! Or maybe not. It's actually pretty embarrassing.
Oh, man. We don't know about you people out there, but personally? We cannot resist a delicious slice of sponge cake! So delicious. So sweet and spongy. Made with love and iced to perfection. How could anybody resist such a tempting dessert? We certainly don't have that kind of willpower. And this one. This one looks irresistible! A glass of milk, a slice of this puppy and you've got yourself the perfect way to cap off the evening.
This is not cool, yo. But we guess we see where this Mom is coming from. Like we said earlier, when you're a parent, you probably have to pull these kinds of soulless pranks just to keep your sanity. We don't blame this Mom for her literal sponge cake antics. We're not mad. We're just disappointed.
6 Good one, Mom and Dad
You thought your Mom and Dad never listened to you. All those times you were complaining about your lousy earbuds, and all of those times you said you wanted a pair of Beats by Dre headphones. You figured your many attempts to convey to them what you wanted went right over their heads. But would you just look at this? Look at what's inside of this box. That's right. It's proof that your parents love you. Proof that they don't ignore you or silently wish you'd shut the eff up about those stupid headphones.
Gift giving is a parent's perfect opportunity to exercise their troll capabilities. It allows them to combine their love of puns with their inherent desire to disappoint their kids. A+ to the Mom and Dad who put this stunt together. They're our heroes.
5 Facebook user of the year
All it takes is one slip up on Facebook for your entire life to come crumbling down in a heap. You log onto your profile to check up on everyone's status, and maybe even to update your own. You brainstorm for a little bit, reflect on your life and what's going on right now, and you come up with something so deep and ingenious that you just have to post that sh*t. So that's precisely what you do. You type that sucker up and hit post without a second thought. Less than fifteen minutes later, you begin to regret your decision.
Alright! That's it! Everybody? You can go home, now. The internet has been canceled because this parent on Facebook won everything. Let's take a brief moment to admire this Mom or Dad's amazing trolling.
4 Laser guided child's play
Mom wanted a baby. Dad wanted a cat. But, because Dad called the shots around the house, they decided to compromise and have a baby. Nine months later, they had a little bundle of not a cat joy at home. As time passed, the child grew and became mobile. Dad could never bring himself to get rid of those cat toys that he bought before the baby was born, back when he hoped he had a chance at getting a feline companion. Instead of tossing them out, he decided to try to get some use out of them.
Turns out, it's just as funny to watch a toddler chase a laser pointer as it is to watch a cat! It took some convincing, but Dad is finally happy that he has a son instead of an American Shorthair.
3 Say it with cake
Pro tip, courtesy of these parents: if you're going to deliver harsh news, do it with cake. Here, we'll give you an example. Let's say you have an uncle who you're very close to. His wife died when you were two, and he was never able to have a family of his own, so he dotes on you and showers you with gifts and love.
One day, your Mom stops by with terrible news. Your beloved uncle has died. As you sit there, crying your eyes out, your Mom opens a mysterious white box. In it is a chocolate sheet cake with the words "Sorry your uncle died!" written on it with blue frosting. Before you know it, you're drowning your sorrows in dessert, and you can't even remember you uncle's name. See? Cake fixes everything!
2 LOL dude got #owned
That's what happens when you leave your Dad to paint the house all by himself while you ditch him to go to a frat party with your buddies. The kids on campus won't think you're the coolest kid in school when word gets out that someone painted "DORK" on your house right by your bedroom. That will taint your reputation pretty quick.
This is so Dad, it's not even funny. Well, it is funny, we just meant that this image oozes Dad joke. There's no telling how long this Dad had been planning this stunt. It could have been months or weeks, for all we know. However, we like to think it was a happy little spur of the moment deal. Nothing's better than spontaneous trolling, if you ask us.
1 Ouch, Mom
It's sad when your kid has to open up their lunch kit everyday and replace your hate notes with happy notes that they wrote for themselves. We mean, ouch. Come on, Mom. He's just a kid, you can't expect him not to raid your hidden chocolate stash. That's no reason to revoke all love from his sandwiches. At least tell us that there's some love in those brownies you packed!
We considered the possibility that this mom was just trying to teach her son a lesson. Like, maybe she was trying to say, "You need to be independent and rely on only yourself because happiness comes from within," or something like that. But we know that's a lie. This mom is a cruel beast who mercilessly feeds on the tears of her young. How cool is that?