Let's face it, accidents happen. It is one of those laws of life that simply can't be changed – or even explained. But even though we all know that accidents happen, we can't help but feel like we did something wrong, or that there was something we could have done to prevent them. Most of the time, that is not the case. This is even worse if it comes to being a parent.
To make you feel a little less guilty from your parenting mistakes and accidents, check out this crazy list of accidents told by Redditors. Thankfully everyone is okay after these crazy stories occurred.
15 The Baby Dropper
"1995, my wife is seven months pregnant with our first, punches me awake at 3am crying because, well, hormones. She's hysterical because we can't be trusted with a baby, we'll hurt it. When I tell her we'll be fine she says, 'You're a fucking klutz, you'll drop the baby down the stairs.'
2003, carrying our eight-month-old third child down the stairs, one of the other kids had left one of those fat crayons on like the second step down. Step on crayon, foot goes shooting straight forward, I land hard on my ass.
Baby gets dropped and lands two steps down from me.
I had landed oddly, with my left leg sort of tucked backwards (ended up with a sprained knee from it).
I try to free my leg so that I can reach forward and grab my daughter.
Leg pops forward...
And I managed to kick my daughter down another five steps.
For the record, she was scared as hell but completely unharmed. She stopped crying within 10 minutes and went on as if nothing had happened.
TL;DR I kicked my eight month old daughter down a flight of stairs.
EDIT: I commented this below but it got buried in all the replies..." - MrCharismatist
14 The Swimmer
"No kids, but as a babysitter - During the summer, the parents would drop me off with the kids at a swim club they were members at. Oldest kid was maybe 7, youngest was 3. Since the youngest couldn't swim yet, she had those inflatable arm floaty things to wear. Well, at the end of the day, I was packing everything up to get ready to leave, took her arm floaties off... turned to put them in the bag, turn back around, she's gone (no more than 15 seconds with my back turned). Apparently she decided to jump back in the pool for one last swim. There is nothing quite as heart-attack inducing as when I looked in the shallow end of the pool, and there she was just standing on the bottom with this shocked look on her face since she had expected to float. I jumped right in and pulled her out. Again, she was only out of sight for maybe 15 seconds, so no harm done. But still, scary as hell." - ktkatrina
13 The First Bath
"I was giving my newborn son his first bath and I had him facedown over my arm lowered into the water while I washed his back, not realising I had completely submerged his face. He was probably under for about 10-15 seconds before I realised he was a bit quiet and the reason why. Still feel sick when I think that he could have drowned in my arms." - Utu
It is funny because, although something awful could have definitely happened, when you are a first-time parent there are tons of things that you are simply oblivious about, including the fact that you might be submerging your child's face in water while giving them a bath. Fortunately, everything was okay this time, and it probably helped this embarrassed parent to check twice during the next bath.
12 The Sneeze
"Accidents absolutely can and DO happen to normal, responsible people.
When my son was 4 months old, his dad was carrying him downstairs. His dad sneezed, lost his footing and slid halfway down the stairs on his butt. In the meantime, my son, swaddled tightly in a blanket sound asleep, shot out of his arms like a football and landed head first on the wood landing of the stairs.
He ended up in PICU with a hematoma and two fractures on his skull. After a couple weeks of monitoring and healing, he was fine and is fine to this day. Although I worry about early head trauma affecting him later in life. But so far so good!
His dad on the other hand still tears up when he thinks or talks about it." - Aisle3
11 The Glass Christmas Bulb
"Caught my 14-month-old eating a glass christmas bulb.
I went over and slapped it out of her hand. Then I fish-hooked around in her mouth. I could feel the glass, but it was too fine to remove.
I yelled for my husband to hold down our daughter while I waterboarded her at the kitchen sink. He shot me a curious look, but he isn't really one to pass up a good time. Thankfully, it worked.
Tl;Dr: We are selling my kid to the carnival.
EDIT: I just cried when I saw someone gave me reddit gold. I guess maybe I have PMS. But I'm also really genuinely touched when people do nice things for me. Thank you." - octobertwins
I know this is not supposed to be funny, but when I picture an adult fish-hooking around a toddler's mouth I can't help but laugh out loud. Then the waterboarding simply took it to the next level, making me almost pee my pants. So thanks, Redditor!
10 The Awful Morning
"My kiddo was/is a tummy sleeper through and through. I kept telling the doctor she wouldn't sleep on her back, but he just kept telling us that she will die if she sleeps on her belly. So I had a sleep deprived, miserable, crying child, and I was sleep deprived and miserable from holding her while she took 3 naps a day. We couldn't co-sleep so something had to give. If we put her on her belly she slept like a champ, so that's what we did at night. Everything was great, though I felt guilty.
Until one morning I go to wake her up and she doesn't move when I call her name. She doesn't move when I lay a hand on her back. She is stiff when I yank her out of bed and proceed to run screaming bloody murder throughout the house. 'She's dead, she's dead OMG she's dead!' I don't know whether to jump in the car and go to the hospital 2 seconds away or call 911 – so I'm frantically dancing back and forth in the front yard. My panicked husband finally yells, 'STOP FOR A SECOND,' walks over and kisses our super quiet, very confused and very alive child. I told you – she slept like a champ on her belly." - Amycado
9 The Ceiling Fan
"When my brother was about 3, my dad was playing that game where you lift your kid above your head repeatedly over and over again. He didn't realize that there was a ceiling fan directly above him, and put my brother's head into a very fast moving ceiling fan. This resulted in a bunch of stitches and a very, very guilty father." - istayquiet
Seriously, why do fathers love throwing their kids in the air? I always get so nervous when I see a baby or a kid being – sometimes carelessly – thrown in the air, and according to this story I have every single right to be nervous, considering this guy did not even check the ceiling to see if his son would be "safe" being thrown in the air. Poor kiddo, full of stitches. At least his dad felt guilty about it!
8 The Kid That Wants To Eat Concrete
"My wife was just walking along a normal path. Tripped on a crack and threw our eldest (6 months old at the time) onto the concrete path.
One of the worst moments of our lives. He was fine. Not even a scratch.
A few weeks ago (now 11 years old) he smashed his teeth doing something stupid and faceplanting into concrete. It's like the kid wants to eat concrete.
(His teeth have been reconstructed. However, even weeks later, I don't think I am over the stress of THAT day. Our kids permanently hurting their teeth has long been one of my wife's biggest parental phobias. The day itself was a nasty mix of horror and fear for his safety/future/physical well-being and all sorts of horrible 'If only I had...' constant replays. Any time your kid does something major like that, it hits hard. Even if they, themselves just shrug it off.)" - Palatyibeast
7 The Killer Whale Snack
"I don't have children but my father almost killed me once. We were at Sea World when I was about 2 and I wanted a better view of 'Shamu'. This was 25 years ago and safety precautions weren't quite what they are now. My dad lifts me up high enough for me to see the whale over the edge and he starts swimming towards me. Alarms started going off and one of the workers is sprinting to my dad. He proceeds to snatch me from my father who was getting ready to physically harm the person that just tore his kid from his arms when the man explained that is how they feed the whale.
TL;DR My dad almost fed me to a whale and came close to punching the guy that stopped him." - paisleycarrots
I can't even imagine how scary that must have been for everyone involved!
6 The Wanderer
"Horrible story here:
So one night, when my son was about 3, I left him in the bedroom watching Blue's Clues until he fell asleep. it was about 9 pm, but he had napped all day so he wasn't tired.
I had my stepmother over, and we were having a beer in the kitchen, just yammering about the day and what not.
About 30 min later I go to check on him and... gone. Not in the bedroom, not in the kitchen, not anywhere. Looking under beds, frantically searching the basement, thinking he was maybe hiding or something.
Not. Anywhere. At. All.
As I pass by the front door I notice it's open a bit. His coat is hanging up but his shoes are gone. What the FUCK?! It's February in northern Alberta so it's about -37 degrees and fricken COLD outside at 10 pm.
I'm thinking, "nononononono," as I grab my coat and fucking dash out of the house. I'm screaming his name hysterically, running up and down the street, thinking I'm going to see a car pulling over and his fucking body pasted on the road.
My stepma yells and waves me over about a block up.
Turns out, he left the house, walked down the street, crossed the street. Some old guy almost nailed him with his van. He freaks out and takes him to the nearest house, about 2 blocks from us.
I go inside, crying and freaking out, and as I walk into this stranger's house, the police arrive. I let my stepma deal with them while I attempt to grab my kid... but he's in his terrible 3's... and there are 2 other kids there watching tv with him...and the throws the fucking MONSTER of fits as I'm trying to get his coat on. I mean, full tantrum, kicking and yelling, the works.
So here I am, dragging this screaming kid out of a stranger's house at 10 pm, smelling like beer, trying to explain to the police what had happened.
They let us go with no issues (thank CHRIST), and we went home. We never mentioned it to anyone. EVER." - izzidora
5 The Baby On The Roof
"We were renting a two-story house when my son was about two years old. All of the bedrooms were upstairs and the windows which, lead out to an overhang were the floor to sealing type and opened on the bottom. I thought I was being safe by putting child-proof locks in the kids room windows. One day I'm downstairs while my son is napping and a neighbor comes over screaming, 'There's a baby on your roof.' He had gone into my bedroom and climbed out a window that wasn't locked." - Future_Cat_Horder
As a parent, you rarely think that your kid will get into the most terrifying accidents, but the fact is that no matter how careful you are with stuff that could harm them – like windows, medicines, cleaning products, etc. – the little ones will always find a way to get into some sort of trouble. That must have been a very scary day for that poor parent!
4 The Knitting Needle
"Grandma was visiting and doing some knitting. No sooner had the request, 'please make sure your (3 year old) grandson can't get a hold of one of those' come out of my mouth when I see him racing around the sofa brandishing a knitting needle.
Time goes into slow motion. I can't see him and my legs, strangely, won't move fast enough. There is an odd silence. Then the crying. But it is a cry I've not heard before. It's gargled somehow. Rounding the sofa, it's a scene for which I have no context. My son is sprawled on the ground. My brain first registers the blood. And then the bloody knitting needle. I turn him over and blood begins spurting from his neck and hits the coffee table.
Grab pj top and apply pressure. Scream at Grandma to call 911. Grandma forgets how to use 'this crazy telephone.' Husband runs in from garden. A blur of ambulance, attendants, neck brace, gurney, sirens, emergency room. There are ultrasounds, physical checks, stitches, monitors and finally an overnight stay in hospital for observation. All is well.
Arriving home, Grandma said she thought we 'overreacted.' Much later she will be heard to wonder aloud why she is not allowed to babysit.
Edit: I feel obligated to say that we haven't held this incident against my Mom, who is really a wonderful lady and excellent Grandma. To those wondering if she feels guilty – no, she doesn't. Not one bit. At least not outwardly. Her world view is a bit difficult to describe, but it goes something like this: 'Nothing bad ever happens, so this thing that is happening cannot possibly be bad, tra-la-la-da-de-doo, who wants cookies!?'. This makes her a fun-loving Grandma, but a poor choice as a babysitter. To those wondering how I survived to adulthood, I assure you my sisters and I appreciate that the probability that all three of us made it out of childhood alive was vanishingly small." - meramera
3 The Runner
"Once while watching a three-year-old (my godson) we went to a local model train store that he loved. Everything went great, and he had a lot of fun. Walking back to the car, he was tugging at my hand, and said, 'I want to run!' We'd made it past the last car in the lot except ours, no visible moving cars anywhere ahead of us, and it looked like absolute clear, safe sailing all the way back to our parked car. So, I let go, and said, "Go ahead! Run!"
It all seems so predictable now. He ran about 5 feet forward into the completely empty parking lot, towards our car, then did a 180 degree turn with a speed and agility that would make a hummingbird proud, and took off back the way we came, back into the busy part of the parking lot. Trust me when I tell you that it is simply not possible for a 185-pound adult to change direction that quickly. Fortunately, I still had the presence of mind to yell, 'Stop!' at the top of my lungs. He stopped himself just short of a big SUV with its backup lights on. I think the driver may have seen him. I don't know.
Anyway, here's what I learned about small kids.
Just because traveling in a certain direction is obvious and natural to you does not mean your toddler thinks the same thing. All directions of travel are 'on the table.'
Toddlers can maneuver much more quickly than you can.
You need to be holding your toddlers hand firmly any place there are cars. Even cars that could never, ever be a source of danger. Because they still can be.
Edit: For everyone who has felt the need to point out how stupid I was to do this: believe me, I understand. I understand it so well that I've been on a guilt trip over it for the past year and a half. I get it. This whole post wouldn't be very useful or interesting if everyone shared what they did right.
And trust me, if you ever spend any amount of time supervising small children. You will fuck up at some point. No matter how prudent and observant you are, and no matter how many excellent books on the subject you read. There are just too many opportunities for something to go wrong." - tommysmuffins
2 The Fake Fireplace
"Single mom here... I had this fake fireplace the first place that we lived, and I didn't know I had to bolt it to the wall, I figured it was heavey enough it would be fine. My 2 yr old son threw a ball and it went on top of the fire place, as he climbed up to get it the whole thing fell over. The only thing that saved his life, was the bean bag chair we had set in front for story time. The fire place weighted 200lbs or more. When it tilted he managed to get into the nook part so he wasnt getting completely crushed and the chair kept the weight off of him. I had to get neighbors to help me lift it up. Scariest moment so far." - mad_madam_meme
1 The Shopping Cart
"The closest my son has ever come to danger was with my mom (I was there - this was Mom's fault). We were loading purchases into the back of the car outside a department store. He was a little over a year old and was strapped into the seat of the shopping cart. I went around to turn on the car and get the AC going. My Mom let go of the shopping cart to put her purse in and close the trunk. I stand up to see my son in the shopping cart rolling at a pretty good clip down the hill, through the parking lot towards the 4-lane highway. He saw me looking, lifted a hand and did that cute bending your fingers wave kids do. You have never seen two women take off running so fast. He is a teenager now and anytime my mom criticizes me, I remind her of the time she sent him careening towards traffic." - Tigerlily74