First comes love, then comes marriage. Oh, wait! The bachelorette party comes BEFORE the wedding. Which, let's face it, is the best!
Bachelorette parties come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some are tiny and memorable, and some are enormous and unforgettable. And not every bachelorette party ends in the best way. Hell, some don't even end in marriage.
We have found fifteen unique bachelorette party horror stories. So, either consider yourself lucky that these didn't happen to you or take note ladies. You do NOT want to repeat any of these horrific nights!
15 A howling good time
"I made a new friend, through a mutual friend, during my bridal shower and invited her to join us for my bachelorette party the following weekend. We had a limo ride scheduled to take us to Howl at the Moon (Piano Bar), a beach restaurant for dinner, and then drop us off at a male strip club later in the evening.
The night started with our limo driver arriving late and then driving like an idiot. By the time we FINALLY arrived at Howl at the Moon, it was almost time for us to leave for dinner. I had gone to the restroom before we left, but when I came back to the table, I found three of my bridesmaids covered in puke. This new friend of ours projectile vomited across the table on the girls. We had no idea how she got THAT drunk, that quick, but we sent her straight to the bathroom. At this time, the limo driver informed us that there was a $175 fee for any vomit or damages. So, my friend spoke with the management and made sure my new friend had a taxi to go home in. Crisis avoided.
Later that night, when we arrived at the male strip club, I noticed my friend Chrissie, who is the biggest bible-thumping prude of the bunch, had her tongue down a dancer's throat. AND she was trying to pull off his G-string and asking him why they couldn't dance naked. We were asked to leave shortly after that.
As we headed back to my house, my friend ended up puking in the champagne bucket, because the driver was all over the road. All in all, it was one hell of a night!"
14 Surprise, surprise
"I had an amazing bachelorette party. There were no issues, no horrific situations. No one went to jail or made out with the doorman at the club that night. It really was amazing!
When I got home later that night, I wanted to see my fiancé. I also wanted to see our new puppy that was staying at his place that night. So, without hesitation, I called for a cab to his place. I had a key and thought I could sneak in and seduce him. As I got closer to his bedroom door, I heard some moaning coming from his room. I instantly froze, shocked and scared about what was happening. I busted through the door, expecting to see a woman in bed with him or maybe him masturbating to some questionable porn, but no. It was worse, much worse. He had peanut butter on his crotch and my dog was licking it off him. I quickly grabbed the dog, kicked him in the crotch, and called off the wedding. No regrets."
13 A new step-mommy
"I live in a small town, so there are not very many options for someone to have a stellar bachelorette party. But my best friend Karen was convinced that I was going to have the best night ever, regardless. So, she planned a great night in with five of my closest friends. We played a few games and even had a hot male stripper stop by for a little show. By this time, we were all buzzed and ready to go out. So, we all hopped into her van and visited a few of the local bars in town.
We entered the last bar pretty drunk. We walked in singing and dancing, very annoying, I must add. There were only a few people left in the joint, including my dad who was out drinking with some friends of his. They all bought us a round of shots and congratulated me. Not a big deal, right?
Later on, I took a break from dancing with my friends on the dance floor and went to the restroom. That's where I walked in to find my childhood friend making out with my dad on the toilet. When I yelled at them, my friend turned to me and said, "I'm going to be your new step-mommy!" She laughed, and then puked on my dad. We are NOT friends anymore."
12 Not that talented
"My girlfriends took me to a pole-dancing class for my bachelorette party. We went the day before the wedding. Everything was going great, and we were all having a blast. I started to feel pretty confident about my ability and decided to go a bit higher on the pole. Somehow my foot slipped in the middle of a spin and I fell, hard. Oh, and I broke my nose.
I had to have the photographer Photoshop all of our wedding photos. Mostly because of my black eyes and a huge nose. Horrible!"
11 False Accusation
"Our limo driver picked us up from our hotel at 8:00 p.m. on the night of my friend's bachelorette. When he opened the door for us, I thought I smelled a bit of alcohol on his breath, but quickly dismissed it, thinking I was just smelling the wine we had all just consumed. Around 8:15, we noticed that the driver was all over the road and we became concerned. In that moment, he ran a red light, swerving to miss a very large truck and then ran into a building. Yes, INTO a building. Luckily, it was vacant and no one was hurt.
When the police arrived and arrested him, he tried to blame us for distracting him. Naturally, we were questioned, but soon let go when the police made him do a blow test. I mean, the guy was obviously drunk. Sadly, we missed most of our pre-scheduled events for the night, so we settled on street food and drinking at a local dive bar. Not the best night, but it could have been worse."
10 All work, no play
"I planned an amazing bachelorette party for my best friend. I'm talking, the whole nine yards. I rented limos, VIP tables at the best clubs in town. I even bought shirts & goody bags for all the attendees. It was incredible! My best friend was not impressed. She complained about everything! First, it was the limo. Apparently, it was too vintage and not modern enough. Then, she complained that our VIP table was in the corner of the club, and not in the middle of the club. She also didn't like the font on the shirts I had made, or the appetizers prepared by a world-renowned chef, at the hottest spot in town. I was pissed!
The last straw for me was when she wanted me to lie to her fiance when I found her humping our limo driver later that night. Instead, I took a photo and sent it to him. I figured he needed to know what he was getting himself into with her. But, he still married her, and she cheats on him all of the time."
9 The soap-opera situation
"At the end of a fantastic bachelorette party night, I found my best friend in the bathroom crying. I thought she was just acting a bit drunk and dramatic, but I decided to crawl under the stall to make sure she was OK. When I asked her what was wrong, she showed me a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test! As I was hugging and consoling her, she decided to tell me that it was my fiancé's. Apparently, they had been screwing behind my back for months. I haven't spoken to either of them since. And I hear the baby is not cute at all. Karma!"
8 Mr. Jealousy
"My best friend, who was also the bride, married a complete creep. The night of her bachelorette party, he stalked us the entire evening. It started out with him following us to dinner. He paced back and forth outside, watching us eat through the window. When we mentioned it to her, she just made excuses that he was worried about us. And how he just wanted to make sure that the night went perfectly for us. Which was bullshit! The guy is extremely jealous and crazy. He ruined our entire night. Especially when we went dancing, and he punched a guy for buying her a drink. I'm hoping they divorce soon. I can't stand the man."
7 Your worst nightmare
"My friend's planned a cosplay bachelorette party since we're all a bit nerdy. We all dressed up like our favorite superhero's and comic book characters. I chose to be Miss. Captain America. I had a tight wrap blue dress made by a friend. It was basically shreds of spandex that were sewn together. It was hot! Unfortunately, I wasn't able to wear anything underneath so I went commando and even wore stickers over my nipples.
We started our night out at a local karaoke club that was very popular and always packed. We were all drinking, dancing, laughing, just having the time of our lives. Finally, after a few too many drinks, we all decided to get up and sing, "Girls Just Want to Have Fun." Mid-way through the song, I twisted my ankle, bad. While I was spinning around, and starting to fall off the stage, my friend grabbed me by the dress. Needless to say, I survived the fall, but my dress didn't. My friend happened to catch the part of my dress that was holding it all together. And when she pulled on it, it was like a mummy coming out of its dressings. It just melted off of me.
So, there I was, exposed in the middle of a packed club. Naked. I was horrified! And to make matters worse, my boss just happened to be there that night."
6 Wakey, wakey
"My girlfriends took me out for an epic bachelorette party. We started at five p.m., having dinner and plenty of drinks at this swanky downtown restaurant. Then, we played naughty bachelorette party games at some of the local dive bars. I even stole quick kisses from strangers in exchange for shots. It was a lot of fun! But the very last thing that I remember was dancing at a club with everyone, having the time of my life. According to my friends, the last thing I said to them was, "I gotta pee!" Then I pranced off and never came back.
The next morning, I woke up in a bathtub at a frat house. I was holding a cold burrito from Taco Bell and a blue wig. To this day, no one knows how I got there. Even the guys at the frat house. Needless to say, it must have been a good night."
5 Real class
"My best friend and I were making plans for the bachelorette party of a lifetime. We talked about Vegas, Miami, Puerto Rico. We wanted to go all out! But as soon as my step-sister got wind of our planning process, she demanded that she be a part of it. She felt that it was her duty, as family, to contribute. So, we let her. Mostly because we felt sorry for her, and because she's the black sheep of the family.
Soon enough, it became very apparent that my step-sister wanted to plan the entire thing. She even treated my best friend like crap, to the point that she backed out altogether. The night of my "awesome" bachelorette party, we did not go to Miami, Vegas, or an exotic beach. My step-sister gathered all of us at her house. She made pigs in a blanket for dinner. She had a basket of pretzels and some wine coolers on the coffee table. She also had stacks of magazines on the floor for us to "create vision boards." There were no decorations, no games. It felt like a slumber party from my preteen years.
When my best friend confronted her about it, she said that I, "didn't deserve anything special. Let alone Brad" - my now husband. I guess she had a thing for him for years and decided that this was my payback for "stealing him" years ago. No such thing ever happened. I'm convinced she's bat-shit crazy!"
4 The twofer
"My husband and I threw a joint bachelor/bachelorette party at a fun club in Brooklyn a few years back. We invited our closest and dearest friends to join us for a wild night of dancing and drinking. The night took a turn for the worst when my husband's ex-girlfriend, an ex-model who was addicted to coke, showed up.
We didn't even know that she was there until we heard a female voice come over the speakers from the DJ booth. Apparently, she knew the DJ and paid him for a few minutes of his time. Mostly to tell my husband how much she still loved him, how he was making a mistake by marrying a "fat cow," and how he was making the biggest mistake of his life by letting her go. My husband just laughed it off, grabbed me, and then kissed me in front of everyone. The crowd cheered, and she was removed from the premises immediately.
Later that night, as we were leaving, we found out that she had keyed his car. Three thousand in damages later, we got married and have been happy ever since. I also heard she went to jail shortly after this incident."
3 911, Emergency
"We were all dancing at a local club, having the best time, when it quickly turned to one of the worst nights of my life! I was a bit tipsy, dancing on the table near the railing of the second floor of the club. I started to yell to my best friend, "I'm having the best time..." when I fell.
I fell from the second floor of the club onto the dance floor. Which was basically concrete. When I woke up in the hospital, I found out that I had broken my wrist and lost my front tooth. Sadly to say, we had to postpone the wedding until I got my mouth fixed. I'll never do that again! My friends still make fun of me for it."
2 Like a virgin
"My mother-in-law showed up at my bachelorette party uninvited and unannounced. She is a Southern Baptist who consistently makes me feel like I am the whore of the family. When she showed up to my apartment, the party was already in high-gear. There were penis balloons, straws, games, and even a penis cake. Needless to say, she was not impressed and was certainly not impressed by my outfit. Which was a short, hot pink dress, covered in gummy penises. You would think that she would have left, but she insisted on joining us for most of the evening.
During dinner, she made it her duty to remind me that I was lucky her son even wanted to marry me. You know because I was "full of sin." The only saving grace of the night was when my now-husband came to the restaurant and insisted on taking her home. Well, not without screaming at him first. "She's not even a virgin!"
She still makes my life hell, every day. Thank goodness I love the guy, a lot."
1 Maybe it wasn't the right choice after all
"When the bride showed up to the hotel she looked horrible. Her eyes and face were puffy like she had been crying for days. She told us that her fiancé JUST canceled their wedding and broke up with her. She wasn't sure what had happened and insisted that we still go out and have fun. We argued with her for a bit, about staying in and ordering room service. But she was dead-set on going out, forgetting all about him, and having a good night.
But we didn't. She cried most of the evening. Everyone was uncomfortable and didn't know what to do or say. She made out with about five different guys that night, all while texting photos to her ex. Eventually, she got us kicked out of a bar for flashing. Then, she was arrested when she was caught peeing in an alleyway. All of us girls had to pool our money together to bail her out. Hot mess!"
*Stories have been edited for length and clarity