When we were kids, it was easy to suspend disbelief every Saturday morning so we could just sit back and mindlessly enjoy all our favorite cartoons... even if we knew that they were ridiculous and often didn't make too much sense. Yeah, we understood that babies can't really talk like they do in Rugrats, and that there's no way any real-life sponges make a living flipping burgers like SpongeBob, but we were young and naive enough to tune in without constantly pointing out the variety of logic fails in each episode. Now that we're older and cynical of pretty much everything, we can't re-watch classic cartoons without realizing just how confusing and downright illogical some beloved characters are. Thanks to our newfound fixation on these glaring issues, our childhoods are forever ruined!
15 Gravity only exists when you realize it does
Wile E. Coyote is essentially every millennial's spirit animal. The poor guy was always chasing after his elusive dream, but anytime he got close... some obstacle would arise and get in his way. Most of the time, that obstacle was gravity. Road Runner would sprint from one cliff to another with ease, but when Wile E. would try to follow, he'd look down and realize he was hovering in mid-air. Then, and only then, he would plummet down to the ground and horribly injure himself. That's not quite how gravity works, kids—it doesn't only exist once you realize it's supposed to! We totally tried testing the Looney Tunes laws of gravity growing up, and that's probably why we got hurt all the time.
14 Goofy taking Pluto for a walk
Someone at Disney has to explain this one. We know that Pluto is a dog, and we're pretty darn sure Goofy is supposed to be a dog as well, so why on earth does Goofy take Pluto for walks? We've seen adults stroll around town with their kids on leashes, so is Pluto supposed to be significantly younger than Goofy? We also know that select adults have kinky BDSM fetishes and wear leashes in bed, so is this some sort of weird sex thing? Whatever is going on here, we need some answers ASAP. Also, isn't it about time Pluto learned to walk on two legs (or at least hold a conversation) like virtually every other animal in Mickey's group of friends? Let him evolve!
13 "Do you trust me?"
When we were kids, we totally understood Princess Jasmine's initial apprehension when Aladdin offered her a ride on his magic carpet. He was still a stranger, and he was trying to get her to sit with him on some freaky floating rug and fly all over the world! Watching the film back, we think having a gigantic tiger as a pet seems 10 times scarier than anything else in the film. At any given point, Rajah could have just decided he was tired of palace food and wanted to chomp down on some humans for a change! If you're going to be enough of a risk-taker to let a savage beast be your best friend, princess, you shouldn't question people for riding around on an enchanted rug. At least Carpet isn't carnivorous.
12 Dora is a genius who can't find ANYTHING
When Dora the Explorer first debuted in 2000, Dora Márquez was a 7-year-old genius. Not many kids her age are fluent in two languages or clever enough to be trusted to go on adventures in the woods without adult supervision! If she's supposed to be so smart, however, why does she have so many problems finding things that are right next to her?! Dora is constantly asking viewers to help her find objects that she could have found on her own if she simply turned her head and looked, and that girl could never solve a puzzle alone. Since Dora seems incapable of doing anything without audience assistance... why do her parents think she can handle only having a monkey and a backpack as her companions?!
11 Wait, that wasn't hair?!
Watching The Simpsons as kids, we always assumed the spikes on top of Bart and Lisa's heads were supposed to be their hair. We've seen Bart try to style his spikes, so this seemed like the logical conclusion. Nope, according to the siblings' skeletons in a Halloween episode, those bones were actually a part of their skulls. Sorry, what?! Once we saw this startling image, we noticed that everyone else in Springfield has normal, colored hair with a distinct hairline. The Simpsons kids are the only ones with these freaky mutant skulls. No wonder Bart was such a troublemaker and Lisa worked so hard in school... she felt like the only way to make up for her frightening appearance was to be the smartest kid in the whole town!
10 Sure, NOW you wear clothes
Animal cartoon characters always seem to have an interesting and unpredictable relationship with clothes. Some are totally chill with being naked all the time, while others try to keep a sense of modesty and cover up whenever possible. Then there's Tom from Tom & Jerry, who was fine being completely nude... unless he was at the beach. Only then would he throw something on! Did Tom have an extreme fear of getting sunburnt, or were there some other cats out by the ocean that he felt a need to hide his private parts from? You'd think Tom's constant wavering between considering Jerry his prey and his BFF would be the weirdest thing about him, but this beach clothing mystery bothers us the most.
9 Some of those have to be fake...
Ash Ketchum was basically the worst Pokémon trainer ever. He didn't catch the majority of his Pokémon—they simply jumped into one of his Poké Balls because they were bored and wanted to travel the world with him. He cheated to win most of his gym badges, and several of his other badges were simply given to him by gym leaders because he was a nice guy and they wanted to help him out. Meanwhile, Gary Oak was a complete bad*ss and caught all the coolest Pokémon and won all the best badges. Even a few that didn't exist! That's right, the Kanto region only had eight gyms, but Gary somehow earned an impossible 10 badges in the area. You have to give him props for that.
8 What're you gonna do with that, Sandy?
Logic and the basic laws of nature simply don't exist in SpongeBob SquarePants. The characters build impossible fires underwater, sponges wash dishes with other sponges, there's a squirrel who lives in a giant bubble... nothing makes sense, and we accept that. That doesn't stop us from being confused about how Sandy Cheeks could possibly be a saxophone player in the Bikini Bottom band, though! It would make a degree of sense for her to play the drums or the triangle, but we're pretty sure the giant astronaut bubble she wears over her head when she's out on the town would keep her from being able to blow into a sax. Does she take the mask off when it's time to play, and if so, does she drown the moment she starts to perform?
7 Slipper fits perfectly... still falls off
Growing up, we considered Cinderella to be one of Disney's best movies, and we couldn't find a single thing wrong with the classic film. Now, we realize it's absolutely chock-full of glaring errors which render it practically unwatchable. If Prince Charming spent the whole Ball staring into Cinderella's eyes and claims to have fallen in love with her while they danced, why did he have so much difficulty remembering what she looked like? If Cinderella's glass slipper was supposed to be the "perfect fit," why did it fall off when she was running down the stairs? And how is Cinderella the only woman in the entire kingdom with her particular shoe size?! There's a serious problem when the whole Fairy Godmother plot line makes more logical sense than the love story between Charming and Cinderella.
6 But you're always naked...
Donald Duck has one of the cutest outfits of any animated cartoon animal. He looks absolutely adorable in his little blue sailor suit and hat, and we never really found any problems with the fact that his costume didn't include any sort of underwear or pants. We are confused about why Donald absolutely freaks out anytime he's spotted without his sailor attire, though! Any time he's been seen in the cartoons fully naked, he feels a need to cover up his private area with his hands... even though that particular section of his body is never covered up in any capacity! Chill out, Don, you're not hiding anything we haven't seen countless times before. If you have insecurities, maybe you should start wearing pants or something.
5 Clever disguise you've got there, Clark
People in the DC Comics universe are either all blind or totally stupid. Clark Kent reports on Superman all the time for the Daily Planet and works alongside some of Metropolis' best investigative journalists, but somehow no one has ever noticed that he looks exactly like the Man of Steel! Okay, maybe not exactly—Clark wears glasses, while Superman has perfect vision and has no use for glasses. But that is the only difference between the two handsome and extremely muscular men. They've got the same strong jaw, the same perfect hair, the same height and build... a pair of lenses shouldn't be enough to fool anyone, let alone his reporter colleagues. In the comics and live-action films, they at least have Clark hunch over and do his hair different than Superman, but in the Superman animated series... the glasses were his only disguise.
4 Prince Necrophilia
In several films and TV shows, Disney has demonstrated the magical power of True Love's Kiss. When you touch lips with your soulmate's, all your problems suddenly go away and you are ensured your happily ever after! That's all well and good (albeit totally unrealistic), but it shouldn't mean it's okay to go around kissing corpses in the woods in hopes that you're that person's one true love. In the real world, people who kiss the seemingly dead bodies of complete strangers are called necrophiliacs, and they're considered total creeps... not romantic princes. Sure, Snow White is a babe, but that doesn't make what happened here acceptable! Hopefully Doc has the license to be a psychologist, because Prince Florian should definitely talk to a shrink about this.
3 That's not where your ears are
Arthur, the beloved PBS aardvark, seems to be entirely unaware of where his ears are actually located. The weird structure of his head forces him to balance his glasses on the side of his skull instead of around his ears, and he's apparently so used to pretending that his ears are in that particular spot, he also rests his headphones there! Here we see Arthur "listening to music" and acting like nothing is wrong, but surely he has to notice that he can't actually hear anything this way! Hopefully his friend The Brain will catch wind of his eternal ear struggles and invent appropriate, personalized headwear for Arthur's particular needs, because this is slightly embarrassing and just has to suck for Arthur.
2 How do you dress yourself, football head?
Everyone in Hey Arnold! suffers from one serious body disfigurement or another. Some characters have ridiculously long or dangerously pointy noses, some have hair that only grows outwards instead of upwards, and poor Arnold has a head shaped exactly like a football (a point which his frenemy Helga constantly brings up). The shape of Arnold's skull never really bothered us when we were kids, but now that we look at it, we have to wonder... how on earth did he dress himself? There's no way that head was able to fit in the neck hole of any shirt on the planet, so did he have to jump into the neck hole and pull each of his shirts up instead of dressing like a normal person? Wouldn't this still dramatically stretch all of his clothes out?
1 Everyone in Quahog is chill with bestiality
The residents of Family Guy's fictional city of Quahog don't find anything unusual about the fact that the Griffin family's pet dog can walk on two legs or carry a conversation. That's pretty weird, but not as weird as the fact that they also don't have a problem dating or having sex with that genius dog! Brian is quite the ladies man on the show, and seems to land a number of extremely attractive women on the regular. Not one girl stops to think, "Should I really be hooking up with a pet?" If this happened with Scooby Doo or Clifford the Big Red Dog, we're pretty sure their shows would be immediately canceled and taken off TV. So what makes this bestiality okay?!