It's supposed to be the most magical day in a woman's life. She has found her Prince Charming, spent her life's savings on the perfect wedding gown and invited her closest 500 friends to come and celebrate along with her. It's her wedding day and as God is her witness, nothing shall go remotely wrong!
Something inevitably goes wrong at almost every single wedding. My dress clasps snapped at our reception and my friend's mom had to sew me back into my gown right there next to the ice sculpture. If she didn't happen to have a needle and thread in her purse, I would have been up a creek. We also lost two of the groomsmen before we made our grand entrance as husband and wife because they snuck off to start the party early.
My mishaps were thankfully minor, but some brides aren't so lucky. Some wedding fails are so epic that they will go down as legend among guests. Check out these 15 brides who had their wedding thunder stolen by fails.
Fun fact people: wedding cakes serve a far greater purpose than simply rounding off a meal with a sweet treat. These decadent works of art serve as beacons of status as well as a major element of the décor on the big day. I may be as old as dirt, but even back when I got hitched, (many moons ago, folks) our three-tiered wedding cake ran us around $800. In 2014, the average cost of a wedding cake was just under $500...for cake! In higher priced areas, such as New York and California, it isn't uncommon to see the price of wedding day desserts rise into the thousands.
With such a crazy concept as spending multiple paychecks on something that goes into an oven, we can see why many couples are now turning to simpler methods of serving guests the goodies and ordering up custom made cupcakes, cookies and dessert bars in lieu of traditional wedding cakes. This couple here is in the midst of watching their pricey masterpiece go crashing to the floor. Sorry, folks, we hope no one was still hungry, because quite a few of the guests will be leaving the venue sans sweets or eating this stuff off of the floor. Oh, what a sad moment on what is supposed to be the happiest day of a couple's life. From the looks of the thing, we bet that it would have been delicious too.
14 Bride down
Let's be honest, nothing will put a damper on a bride's big day like a good old-fashioned tumble. Some falls are easily remedied and cause nothing more than a moment's embarrassment. Other's will make the jaws of wedding guests drop to the floor because they are so epic. If they happen to be caught on camera, they will likely never be forgotten.
The rest of the day can be absolutely perfect, but this one blunder will destroy the entire day. The fated fall will be the couple and the onlookers only memory of the whole event. No one will recall such a wedding and say, "Hey, remember when Dave and Susie got married? Weren't the flowers just beautiful? Nope. They will say, "Oh my gosh, remember when Susie fell backwards off of the swing and landed in the dirt right on her head!"
These newlyweds' photographer had a cute idea for capturing their playful and whimsical personalities, but sadly he snapped the image at the exact moment the bride went tail up and head down directly into the dirt. Once the shock of seeing something like this wears off, how does one keep a straight face. I could never. I could be crying from laughing so hard.
13 No coming back from this
For some reason, brides love themselves some horses on their wedding day. It must be related to the timeless concept of royal brides being led to their groom in horse drawn carriages as the entire town looked on in complete awe. What girl doesn't want to feel like a princess on her special day? This particular bride certainly had a vision for herself on her wedding day. She was bound and determined to mount this stallion and gracefully trot through the water over to her awaiting groom. Trot the horse did.
He trotted so darn fast that he accidentally threw his bride off of his back and into the water below.
Not only did she land on the wet and dirty shore, but she managed to go off head first, to boot. There is no saving this. The dress is going to be completely ruined, her hair is totally done for and there is a really good chance that her will to live is no longer there as well. Ladies, unless someone is walking right next to your horse and holding onto the reins for dear life, do NOT try and make this dream a reality. There are plenty of magical ways to get to your groom that do not involve giant beasts and a soaking wet gown.
12 That's going to leave a mark
Some wedding day fails are simply funny. I mean, you can't help but chuckle when a gust of wind throws up the bride's skirts revealing her undies to the gawking universe. When a groom dances so hard that he falls over and takes grandma out with him, you better be crossing your legs because there is a really good chance that you will laugh so hard you'll pee yourself. Other couple's fails are less funny and more terrifying.
Anytime an injury is involved during the "I do's," things are going to take a sharp left turn from Funnyville right on into Scarytown. This very unassuming pair was in the midst of staring into one another's souls when an unexpected guest showed up to congratulate them. Unfortunately, their guest is a bull and he seems pretty mad at the moment. He also tends to show his congratulatory sentiments by spearing folks in the rear. This wedding is going to be ending with a bang, but not the kind that most couples experience at the close of the evening. We hope that gorgeous sunset was worth the brand new hole in your backside, pal, and we also hope that the bride can run at the speed of light in those high heels of hers.
11 Probably not the look she was going for
Here we go again with the bride's undying fantasy of riding a horse into the sunset with the man of her dreams. This is the amped up version, though, where the bride sits atop a majestic, white beast being led by her one and only. What could possibly go wrong there? She didn't fall off of the thing, so she has that going for her. Even though she managed to stay upright, she still destroyed this moment so awesomely that we kind of want to do a stand up slow clap for her. Bravo! With the snap of a camera and one ill thought out childhood dream, you managed to turn yourself into a wedded comic book creature and not a princess bride.
Hmmmm, my gut intuition tells me that perhaps this image played out differently in her head.
She surely meant to look like a princess living out her fairy tale dreams, but she ended up looking like a centaur. Some Dungeons and Dragons loving, fantasy-obsessed creepo out there probably finds this totally hot, but most of us are making a cringe face at the bride's awkward body placement atop the four-legged creature. What we would have given to see her face fall when someone pointed out her bridal blunder to her post wedding. I bet she cried big, ugly tears.
10 There is always one guy...
There is always that one male wedding guest that truly seems like his only goal in life is to destroy the bride's happiness. Normally, this despised dude is a childhood friend of the groom or a fraternity brother that the husband-to-be knew 10 years ago. Somehow, he managed to land a spot on the coveted guest list and he is not about to blend into the scenery because he truly feels that he is basically a guest of honor.
Even though you honestly can't remember his name, he is convinced that he has to be the most overzealous celebrator that ever celebrated your love. This guy almost always comes to the wedding stag, is totally wasted before dinner is even served and is constantly standing right next to you loudly recalling all past memories directly in your ear. "Hey Laura, remember when Tom and I rushed TKE, drank a case of beer and then lit our hair on fire?" Sadly we do, and thanks for reminding us.
In the bride's eyes, he is truly the most hated guest at the event and this picture is exactly why. Hip, hip hooray! Please allow me to throw some rank beer all over your $2,000 gown while everyone is watching. Someone call this guy an Uber and send him on his way. He ruined the bride's day, so his work here is done anyhow.
Can we all just agree that photo bombs are universally annoying and immature in general. Stop trying to jump into someone else's picture, you desperate nerds! We get it. You think you're hilarious and you clearly have no friends to snap selfies with, hence your need to get in on other people's magical moments by taking drastic measures. Of all the times to ruin a couple's romantic memory, must you jump in on their wedding day? When someone photo bombs a bride and a groom, it brings this photo bombing phenomenon to a whole other level of dumb, selfish and pathetic.
Grow. Up. People.
Someday you could be the bride or the groom and we sincerely hope that someone moons the camera while you are trying to take some of the most important, and expensive, pictures of your life! Also, a note to the bride and groom here: if you want to make sure that your wedding album only includes people you love and, better yet, people you know, then have your pictures taken in a more private location. If you opt to have them done on a public beach or at a popular local landmark, you'll likely find a few funny guys trying to sneak into your pics for their 15 minutes of fame.
8 Pay attention to your invite list
OK, so just a quick side note here, this is actually one of my all-time favorite wedding images on the internet EVER. I have seen it no less than 100 times and every time I see it, it makes me laugh harder than the time before. I'm considering printing a few copies of this gem out and putting them up in my home, my car and my office, so when I am down, I can pull it out and give myself an instant smile. It's so funny because it's so relatable. Who hasn't been this girl at a wedding once or twice (or for some of us more often than we care to admit).
Brides get really trigger happy when it comes to the guest list. People who they haven't spoken to in 20 years get an invite along with grade school teachers, former co-workers and their kindergarten bus drivers. There is something about knowing that we are about to reach pinnacle levels of happiness that makes us want to share the joy and also rub it in people's faces. Beware, brides! If you don't get a little bit choosy with your guest list, this hot mess trio is bound to show up at your big day and steal the show. There is no way they cannot after they pound about seven vodka tonics. No one is gonna give a rip about your stunning gown or your carefully choreographed first dance. All eyes will be on these three for sure!
7 Ghost bride
This hilarious wedding day wardrobe malfunction could have been so much worse. I can't tell you many images I have seen of brides getting caught in a wind spell and accidentally pulling a Marilyn Monroe for the whole world to see. For some reason, us grown folk also find underwear downright hilarious, even when we know it's so immature to giggle. It's weird, but it's true. Even this groom couldn't help but burst out laughing when his bride got all tangled up in her bridal layers.
No undies are showing here, but it's funny nonetheless.
When you get married outdoors, there is so much to concern yourself with regarding the weather and the elements. I don't think I would ever spring for a woodsy wedding after writing this article up. I've seen nature pull far too many pranks on unsuspecting brides to ever trust in its beauty. Nope, if I ever marry again, you can be sure that my pictures will all be taken indoors so that I never have to end up looking like a ghost bride (or worse), on my special day. Heck, I don't even think I'll do pics in a room with a fan. I'm serious; I'll be taking no chances!
6 Little show-stealers
If you're a bride-to-be who loves the spotlight, then you may want to glaze over the whole flower girl and ring bearer idea. Those little guys almost always steal the spotlight with their antics. They don't mean to upstage the bride and the groom, but it's pretty inevitable that they will. First, we adults dress them up to resemble miniature brides and grooms themselves. They end up looking so stinking adorbs that it's damn near impossible to look away. Even though they look cute as can be, they can't be very comfortable.
Kids are notorious for hating tights, ties, socks and anything that doesn't come with an elastic waistband. So, we are really setting them up for an epic meltdown when we require them to don tuxes and little prom dresses for an entire day. We then force these little people to stand around and "practice" their roles when all they really want to do is watch Thomas the Train, play with their toys and eat cheese sticks. They walk up and down church aisles and get shushed for days on end as the wedding party tries to get everyone on point for the big day. No wonder these kids end up looking like these two do by the time the big moment arrives. Adults get wiped out from weddings; of course kids are going to bite the dust.
5 Washed-up wedding party
A lakefront wedding sounds mighty lovely, right? The peace and serenity that the water offers is a real crowdpleaser for many couples looking to tie the knot. If you have to get married on the shores, fine. I wouldn't do it because it would surely rain with my luck, but you do you, ladies. Even if you must get hitched in this environment, do yourselves and your wedding party a favor and stay off of janky docks. If the wooden structure wiggles, then don't step foot near it. If you do you might end up like these poor, wet folks who thought that they would get a couple of memorable photos and then be off to the open bar for a night of full on partying.
What do you even do when you and your entire wedding party are soaked to the bone?
I have no answers, but I would be madder than a hornet if I ended up swimming to my reception. Look at all those women who claimed to be best friends forever five minutes ago. That dock went down and they instantly started shoving one another out of the way to save themselves. Not one of them is willingly finishing the night off looking like a drowned rat, that's for sure.
4 This might be a sign
Hmmmm, if the groom is falling asleep in the middle of your wedding reception, then you might have a problem on your hands. There are just some days where passing out cold isn't acceptable and the wedding day is one of them. I don't care if he is exhausted, inebriated or has narcolepsy, there are simply no excuses for nodding off in the midst of the best man's speech. Most weddings end around 11 p.m. or midnight at the latest, so suck it up, grab that coffee out of your wife's hand and down it ASAP. Get up, dance around, do what you must to keep your eyes open, just don't let your lady catch you so bored that you start snoozing. This guy will likely never live his nap down. If it were me marrying him, I would bring his wedding day blunder up every single time I got mad.
Now, I have no idea what will become of these two, but my thoughts are they have some rough years ahead of them if this is how the marriage is starting out. One thing is for certain, however, someone didn't end up getting any special time on his wedding night. In fact, she was probably so piping mad that she left him right there to sleep at the reception hall. That's what I would have done anyhow.
3 Yellow is the new white
It always amazes and confuses me when brides insist on having their animals be a huge part of their big day. Yes, we understand that your dog is "like" your baby and the thought of marrying your partner without him there to watch you take your vows is utterly unimaginable, but here is a newsflash for you: he is an animal. He doesn't understand nor care about you saying your "I do's." This little canine is showing his human mommy just how much he does NOT care by taking a leak on her very expensive and very white wedding dress.
You can't blame him for his accident; he is an animal, after all.
When you take animals and try to make them act like humans, this is what can end up happening. Here is some food for thought: leave your dog with some family or friends while you marry your love or worse-case scenario. Board him somewhere. The good news is once you return to him as a Mrs., he will love you just the same. Dogs are probably the most forgiving creatures on the planet. He will forgive you in a heartbeat for leaving him behind while you tie the knot. Trust us, you will have a much harder time forgiving him for whizzing on your gown.
2 Everybody is getting some tonight
I think it's fair to say that romance is definitely in the air here, and I'm not just talking about the bride and the groom. A couple of the wedding party members seem to be getting a little bit touchy-feely as well. While we expect the newlyweds to be all over each other on their proclaimed day of love, they are usually not the only ones getting it on. Weddings are prime spots for singles who are looking to mingle.
Think about it: everybody is dressed up and looking their best. The booze is flowing with no end in sight and everybody is sweating and bumping and grinding on the dance floor. While the dancing at weddings usually starts off pretty PG, that dance floor will be looking like a club by 11 p.m. Everybody is sizing each other up, getting those last few drinks in before the open bar closes down and deciding who will be accompanying them back up to their hotel rooms in an hour.
Receptions usually take place at hotels anyhow. It's pretty much a brothel when you sit and think about it. Go sit in a hotel lobby on a Sunday morning around checkout time during peak wedding season and watch the hungover singles try and slip out before their partners-for-a-night catch them and ask for their phone number. It's seriously so entertaining.
1 Upstaged by...herself!
This is so great because this bride is being upstaged by none other than herself! You know you think that you are the cat's meow when you get married and have your baker create a wedding cake in the shape of you. This bride wants to make sure that the whole world knows that she is the head diva around these parts and every part of this wedding is all about her. In case anyone forgets that this day is all about the lady in white, the life-sized cake will serve as a visual reminder.
Is it weirding anyone else out that the bride and groom are about to hack into the cake-bride and eat her?
I know that is what you do with a cake, but it is still going to look like a crime scene in a few minutes. I certainly hope that the cake isn't a red velvet. That would be way too much for me to handle. How much do you want to bet she had wedding favors made with her picture on them too. The poor groom is definitely a side piece to this event. We have to wonder if this bride only got married so that she could throw a party all in her honor.