Ah, the wonderful world of dating. It's anything but easy, right, ladies? Most people think that having a whole load of potential dates at their fingertips would make finding their ultimate Mr. Right simple. Oh no, nothing could be further from the truth. From Tinder to Facebook, there's no end to the ways that fools can get in touch with people to let them know just how worthless they really are.
I have some rather terrible news for all the serial daters out there. Life ain't all that easy. In fact, the online world is just a sea of d-pics and dumb guys. I wish it wasn't the case, but it most certainly is. Don't believe me? Think that there are some 'nice' men out there? Well, then check out these awful texts. Here are some of the worst ever #ByeFelipe texts on the planet. Enjoy.
15 This Guy Who Is Something Of A Wordsmith
There are few girls out there whose hearts wouldn't melt when a guy sends them poetry. After all, in the modern world, guys think that they can just send you a nude and hope for the best. So, when a man actually makes an effort to compose something sweet, it should be enough to get our attention. At least, that's the theory behind it anyway.
The sorry truth of the matter is that not all guys have a way with words. I mean, this man gets points for trying, but the sentiment of his little rhyme leaves a whole lot to be desired. It was all going oh-so-well until that dumb last line. Urgh. Why? Personally, I adore the comeback this girl gave him. Sometimes, you've just gotta think on your feet when it comes to this whole texting thing.
14 The Man Who Can't Wait Two Days
Hey dude, we get it. Waiting for someone to reply to a message can be infuriating. When you happen to have a little crush on that person, it can be even worse. I mean, you might check your phone every five minutes to see if they've finally replied. Still, double-texting (in any way, shape, or form) is off-limits. Come on, you know that right? That's texting etiquette 101! When you send a load of needy texts, you just look like a total moron who has nothing better to do with his time. Cut. It. Out.
This is a man who has zero patience, which is a real shame. When his lady crush took two WHOLE days to reply, he turned from Mr. Nice into Mr. Nasty. What on earth is his deal? I think we can all agree there's a special place in hell for him too.
13 This Man Who Struggles To Grasp Basic Grammar
The English language can be tricky from time to time. Sure, we all go over the basics in school, but you know what they say: If you don't use it, you lose it. Apparently, here's a guy who has well and truly lost it. He thinks that he can chat up any lady he likes, but there's one small thing holding him back. Luckily, this girl is on hand to let him know where he went wrong. Honestly, what on earth would he do without her?!
I don't know about you but I find bad grammar to be one of the biggest turn-offs ever. There is nothing less attractive than someone who can't master just one language. I mean, come on! You speak (and write) it all the damn time. How hard can it really be?
12 This Guy Who Uses A 'Creative' Insult
'If at first you don't succeed, call the girl fat.' This must be the mantra of oh-so-many guys on the internet. It seems that the moment they get knocked back by a lady, this is their go-to insult. Crying out that they didn't like you anyway because you're a fat whatever is about as convincing as a child saying that they 'didn't want to play anyhow'. These guys are fooling no one, but for some reason, they can't seem to get that through their heads.
When it comes down to it, men will always use this insult. It's one of the least creative things that they can say and, frankly, it's a lazy shot. If a guy calls you fat, remember, he is the one with issues NOT you. No man has the right to put you down just because they feel insecure.
11 This guy who can just shove off
When a guy opens with something highly sexual, he should know that he's going to get nowhere fast! Still, this is a technique that many men think is going to be a winner. Asking to 'shove' something in a lady's mouth is no way to talk to anyone. I mean, what on earth did this guy think was going to happen here. Did he somehow think that the girl would be up for it; that she'd juts be like 'hell yeah, come over to my house!'? Um, no.
Some guys need to learn manners... and this guy falls well into that category. If he says stuff like this to every girl he comes across, there's just no way that he's going to find the woman of his dreams. In my opinion, he should just cut his losses while he still has the chance. After all, there is no way that he's going to be a Casanova with words like that! Someone needs to sit him down and tell him.
10 This man who likes to set 'b*tch tests'
Have you ever heard of a 'b*tch test'? Well, no, neither have I. Setting out a test for someone seems like the weirdest way of trying to get to know them. Sometimes, men need to learn that rejection is a natural part of the dating process. We can't all say yes to everyone we meet. If we did, we would all be sleeping with just about everyone on the planet. No. We have to be selective when it comes to dating... and men should do the same damn thing!
All is fair in love, which means that you really don't owe anyone a single thing. If for whatever reason, you're just not into someone, you have every right to go ahead and tell them about it. That is 100% your right. Don't let anyone make you feel as though that's not the case.
9 This man who thinks he's hilarious
Okay, not that I'm defending this guy (I'm SO not!), but at least he's trying to be a little funny here. There are about a million ways that you can let a lady know that you want to sleep with her. This guy happened to choose a funny way to do so. Still, he made that same old fatal mistake of opening with a sexual proposition. No! When will guys learn that this is so not an appropriate way to deal with ladies? It's just rude AF.
The truth of the matter is that there is no nice way to ask someone this burning question. Luckily, the girl looks like she knows just how to deal with losers like this one. In one easy message, she put him right in his place once and for all.
8 And then, this guy who is just plain rude
If you can't wait 11 damn minutes for someone to text you back, you have a serious problem. I mean, people have lives. Not everyone is just waiting by their phone for you to talk to them. No matter how deluded you are, you must know that that's just not how the world works. After all, people have jobs, friends, and social lives to worry about; not just their phones. This guy seems to need constant attention, which is a red flag right off the bat.
What's funny is how very quickly this man changes from being quite normal and even nice to being a total douche. He does a total 180 in about three minutes, which is frankly insane. I think that this lady had a near miss with this guy. Who knows how he would have been had they actually dated.
7 Another guy with another original insult
Oh dear me! When will the 'you're fat' insult die a gory death? I mean, there is nothing particularly original about this insult. There's nothing smart, witty, or new about it. It's the same old thing that we've heard time and time before. It's no different to what all the other jaded guys out there are saying. If you're going to insult people, you should at least try to be a little original, right? When it comes down to it, it's just plain lazy .
After looking at these texts, one thing is clear, men don't have the first clue when it comes to insults. Going straight for someone's body - fat or thin - is the easiest way to go. That's probably why every guy out there uses it all the time.
6 This guy who is hella optimistic
Well, you were probably wondering how long it would it take until a 'd-pic' came up, right? Here it is. There are no words for the guys who think it's totally okay to open with this kind of thing. No lady out there wants a picture like this one. I mean, seriously, what do guys think that this does for us? Unwanted nudity is not going to turn us on. When on earth will they learn that?
I really think that the girl here makes an excellent point. It would have been far better for the guy to try and get to know her rather than just to send this. Epic fail. He needs to learn that ladies don't respond well to this kind of BS.
5 This man who can't take a 'hell no'
Guys seem to be under the impression that any compliment, however sexual, is the way to a woman's heart. Um, hell no. The truth of the matter is that us ladies don't want to be turned into sexual objects. It really is that simple so I don't know why men just can't get it through their heads. All we want is to be treated like human beings, just like they might treat their friends, family, or co-workers. Come on, it's really not rocket science.
Opening with something about our boobs is never the way forward. I mean, where can you really go from there? What do they expect the girl to say? Why on earth would they think that this would work? This guy needs to learn a thing or two about girls.
4 This man who has a real ego problem
Many men out there have a real problem when it comes to their ego. The moment they feel as though it's taken a bashing, they will lash out in the worst way possible. That's the only explanation for the way that some people insist on acting basically all of the time. Take this guy, for example. He thinks that this girl is beneath him and, for some deluded reason, that means that she should be grateful that he's talking to her.
There is so much that is wrong with this message that I don't even know where to start. For one thing, there's no way you should get mad at someone for ignoring your text. They don't owe you anything. Plus, when they blank you, the very last thing you should do is insult them. That's no way to make them come around.
3 This guy who is just plain racist!
Guys, get ready for things to go from bad to worse. Here's one of the nastiest and most racist texts I have ever seen. Of course, we all know that you should never judge someone on their ethnicity. That's out of line, small-minded, and yes, racist. Apparently, though, this guy missed that memo. He also seems to lack common sense and decency.
Trying to tell a girl that she should be a certain way because of her ethnicity is so incredibly messed up that I don't even know where to start. Luckily, this lady handled the whole situation with grace and decorum. I don't know if I would have been able to hold it together like she did. Needless to say, this guy is the actual worst.
2 This guy who's talking to himself again
Do you ever feel as though you're having a one-sided conversation? Well, I bet that this guy certainly does. It seems like this man here has no idea when he should just give it up and move on with his life. Rather than being gracious about it and just stepping down, he decided to do what many men do; he got seriously angry. The best part about this whole damn thing is that the guy was talking to himself the whole time.
Personally, I don't blame this lady for not replying to the guy at all. There is something so very cutting about sheer silence, and so it makes sense that she would go for that. I would have blocked this dude a very long time ago. Here is a man that just cannot take a hint.
1 Finally, this girl who had the BEST response
And finally, ladies, here is a lesson in how to shut someone TF down the next time they annoy you. Rather than just telling a guy to get lost or other, ruder words to that effect, there's a seriously better way to go. Write out an entire speech from The Godfather and alter it to make sense within the context. The guy will probably be so damn confused that he will never try to bother you ever again. What could honestly be better than that, eh?
The takeaway message here? Well, it's simple. Online dating can be something of a minefield. It's full of guys who are ready to send nudes or ask the same of you. It's a scary, freaky place. If you're deep in it at the moment, all I can really say is, 'good luck, sister'.