The beautiful thing about George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series and HBO’s Game of Thrones is that every character is written as a multi-dimensional being capable of both altruism and great evil. This isn’t more prevalent than with those in the Lannister family. For centuries, House Lannister has been the richest clan in all of the Seven Kingdoms. Their ability to fund and loan money to other families has made them a true force to be reckoned with. Not even the hordes of people who hate them will stop the Lannisters from achieving their desires. Often seen as the series' antagonists, the Lannisters exude many more traits beyond their power hungry egos. Of course they thrive in decadence, but even the cold Queen Cersei has her positive traits, including her devotion to her children. Actually, the Lannisters all have this in common – family and legacy is above all else the most important thing. As Cersei even utters to her monstrous son, Joffrey, “everyone who isn’t us is an enemy”.Due to the popularity of our House Targaryen article(if you haven’t seen that, check it out HERE), we’ve decided to compile a list of celebrities who without a doubt would be accepted by the likes of Tywin, Cersei, Jamie, Joffrey, and maybe even the family’s black sheep, Tyrion. Here are 15 celebrities that are literally Lannisters…
15 The Kardashians And The Jenners
There are many, myself included, who absolutely loathe the fact that the Kardashians and Jenner families rule Hollywood and the entertainment industry. They’ve managed to finagle themselves into the mainstream mostly due to marketing themselves both sexually and emotionally for the pleasure of refrigerator-box dwelling Instagrammers they’re likely never to meet. …Too harsh? It’s unquestionable, however, that they’ve done a hell of a lot with the opportunities gifted to them. They all have their own brands, make-up and clothing lines and are constantly a reliable source of entertainment; therefore their following is absolutely massive. The Iron Throne is theirs until a more talented dragon-riding Queen comes to unseat them. But like in Kingslanding there’s been a groundswell of individuals who are tired of their reign and want them overthrown. The only problem is, the Kardashians are clearly ruthlessly talented in their pursuit of power and may just blow all the haters up with a bit of wildfire.
14 Justin Bieber
If you’re anything like me you’ve made the Justin-Joffrey comparison before. I hope Justin has developed enough self-awareness to be able to recognize why the comparison is so apt. For many years Justin acted like a selfish brat who was handed too much power and success far too soon. Though he’s certainly not as bad as the Lannister incest love-child, who tortured sex-workers, beat and tormented Sansa Stark, and executed the hero of the show all while throwing incredibly annoying preteen hissy fits, I don’t think the two would dislike each other. Justin’s lengthy list of bad behavior includes, but is certainly not limited to, egging neighbor’s houses, drag racing, assault, and disorderly conduct, being rude to his fans, and leaving an insanely offensive and narcissistic comment in the guest book at the museum of Anne Frank. Thankfully it seems like this young talent has cooled his jets in recent years.
13 Gigi Hadid
With the exception of Bella and patriarch Mohammed, the entire Hadid clan bare the fare Lannister-like alabaster skin, blonde locks, and blue eyes. All of them are remarkably good-looking and have been living the wealthy life for decades. Gigi Hadid specifically has been on an upwards trajectory as a model and social-media icon. She’s been in a few much publicized relationships with notable musicians like Zayn Malik and Cody Simpson and can be seen at just about any star-studded event alongside bestie Taylor Swift. Yet, much like Cersei, it seems like people really don’t like her. She’s one of those stars that everyone loves to dislike. No one can argue that she’s not beautiful and lives a lifestyle that most can only dream of. We may accept the Hadids as a powerful family in our realm but do we really admire them?
12 Oprah Winfrey
Let me make this painfully clear, I admire Oprah’s rise from poverty in rural Mississippi to the mega-billionaire, author, actress, CEO, former talk-show host that she is today. She used her talents, drive, and charisma to build a revolutionary career that broke barriers for women of colour everywhere. She wasn’t given the foundation for success that the lineages of Lannisters have been given for thousands of years thanks to their gold and silver rich estate. However, there are many who’d say that she ruled the roost like a Lannister, often ambulance-chasing, profiting off of the misery of others the way Tywin Lannister would. There are also a lot of stories that suggest that Oprah may not be the down-to-earth person as she would like her unbelievably devoted fan-base to think; just look at the way she “hugs” her fans or speaks over her guests to remind them that at the end of the day, it’s her who’s in control. Hey, in a white-male dominated medium, maybe this is who you have to be; “when you play the game of thrones, you win or you die”.
11 Zac Efron
It’s hard not to like Zac Efron. He has always been incredibly charming, talented, and hilariously funny in movies like Neighbours, it’s sequel Neighbours 2: Sorority Rising, and Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. But with his new movie, Baywatch, about to be released its hard not to see the Lannister in him. So, he’s remarkably handsome. Even the straightest of man can see this and envy him for his washboard abs. And though he’s been open about his struggles with rehab and drugs his portrayal in the media is that of a worriless dreamboat who has a life single men desperately envy. So, I have to admit that I actually hate Zac. Well, I don’t, he’s great, but for the sake of this article I do. He’s a lot like Jamie Lannister when he first enters the field of battle. Everyone sees this pretty boy who doesn’t seem to want to get his hands dirty, but put a sword in his hand (in Zac’s case a comedy or even a drama like 17 Again) and he’ll slay everyone and everything that gets in his way.
10 Ariana Grande
Disney and Nickelodeon stars have a hard time breaking free from the shackles of their early tween years. They get pigeonholed for one thing and one thing only. There have been notable exceptions to this however, including Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. But perhaps the best exception is Ariana Grande. Ariana has proven that she has one of the most dynamic singing voices on the charts. She can sing with just about anyone, and you’d be hard-pressed not to find something of hers that doesn’t appeal to you; her talents exceed every genre of music. But like most young artists, Ariana has a bit of a reputation for diva-like behaviour that makes her more of a Lannister than a goody-goody Nickelodeon gal. My favourite story is that, allegedly, when her feet get tired she has her stage-hands carry her around as if she were Jesus on the cross. It reminds me of the litters that the Lannisters are carried on while traveling the streets of Kingslanding.
9 Nicola Peltz
Nicola Peltz may be best known for her breakout role in the fourth installment of Michael Bay’s rather tired Transformers franchise; however in recent years she’s made a colossal splash on Instagram. The gorgeous daughter of billionaire Nelson Peltz often flaunts her luxurious and extravagant lifestyle that feels as if it’s been torn right from the Lannister playbook. Just like many would say The Queen Regent Cersei does, Nicola just oozes sex appeal in a way that feels elegant and refined. In fact, her entire family is just filled to the rim with supremely good-looking people; we should hate her for this but we won’t, we’re better than that, right guys? Nicola may not possess some of the more controversial traits of House Lannister, but she certainly boasts a linage of inordinate wealth and success, as well as has a flare for the ostentatious.
8 Tom Hardy
In a 2015 BuzzFeed article, Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark) was asked which Westerosi House Mad Max: Fury Road star, Tom Hardy, would belong to; she stated that he had to be a Lannister. I have to agree with this beautiful Stark-girl. In most of his roles, Tom gives off a brutish, thug-like energy that could easily place him among the Bolton clan. However, if you check out his more varied filmography you’d find that behind his animalistic propensities is a suave and sophisticated gentleman. Unlike a Bolton, a Lannister charms you, makes you feel adored, important; only then do they reveal their true colours and slit your throat just like the Rains of Castamere. Tom might have been a good alternative casting choice for Jamie Lannister as he could easily pull off the swordsman and fighting skills of the Kingslayer as well as be the heartthrob of the Seven Kingdoms.
7 Natalie Portman
With HBO’s announcement that they’ll be pursing not one but four different prequel series to Game of Thrones, may I make a casting suggestion for a Lannister matriarch? Natalie Portman is a frigging genius. I’m not just talking about her talents as an actor; I’m talking about the fact that she’s an actual genius. This Israeli beauty, attended graduate school at the prestigious Hebrew University in Jerusalem and studied neuroscience and psychology at Harvard. She’s also fluent in Japanese, Hebrew, French, Arabic, and German. She may be the first Jewish woman that a young circumcised boy like me would love his meddling mom to set him up with. To be a Lannister woman you must be able to hold court with the powerful males who run the family. If anyone can live up to (or exceed) the ruthless dominance of Lena Headey’s Cersei, its Natalie frigging Portman!
6 Louis CK
Hear me out. Just do it. You’re already here, you might as well. Louis is typically seen as a shlubby, kind-hearted, acerbic comic who on first glance would be the furthest person you’d see as a Lannister. But the truth is that try as one might, Louis is absolutely unstoppable. The Lannisters have had off-seasons where tragedy seems to strike but at the end of the day they remain on the Iron Throne. Louis CK pushes the boundaries of comedy on a daily basis as one of Western society’s moral detectives; often exploring topics that most of us fear to even think about. One only has to recall his controversial 2015 SNL monologue where he made insanely well-observed jokes (yes, jokes people, relax already) about child molesters (not the victims) and the thunderstorm of flak that he received in the aftermath. In fact, he’s received harsh criticism for his bits on many occasions and yet he’s still one of the most renowned comedians of our time. Thank goodness for a relentless artist like Louis who just won’t let the bastards get him down.
5 Dakota Fanning
Dakota, to me, is a lot like Tyrion Lannister. So, obviously not in appearance; Dakota has been one of my earliest celebrity crushes due to her capturing blue eyes and girl-next-door allure. What makes her like Tyrion Lannister is that though she’s grown up in the public-eye with every advantage at her fingertips she’s remained aloof. She didn’t let fame get to her. She didn’t let the manipulative nature of the industry claim her soul. She has made and continues to make movies she’s been passionate about, while pursing fashion and a private life of her own. Now, it seems like her younger sister Elle has taken up the Fanning duties of being in the public eye, while Dakota works her magic from the behind the scenes.
4 Sharon Stone
For the younger generation who are unaware of the famous interrogation scene in Basic Instinct where Sharon Stone’s character uncrosses her legs to flash the homicide detectives hot on her trails, you all need to watch it immediately. For a long time Sharon was pigeonholed in sexy, cold-hearted bitch roles because frankly, she’s amazing at them. This blonde goddess could have easily been cast as Cersei Lannister or one of the Lannister clan. In her performances she gives off this mysterious, dangerous, and frozen vibe that makes it feel like she’s always five-steps ahead of you. But even with all her cunning and ability to woe the hearts of men, like Cersei, Sharon is aware that “tears aren’t a woman’s only weapon. The best one’s between your legs.”
3 Aisha Tyler
Aisha Tyler is badass. I have a hard time including her on this list as she always comes across as so kind and personable. But the very fact that she’s one tough, classy, and beautiful woman makes it impossible not to make her a Lannister. First of all, the star of The Talk and Whose Line Is It Anyway is one huge nerd. Her knowledge of all things superhero and fantasy puts her on the Tyrion level. Not to mention that she’s also a Dartmouth graduate who’s fluent in French, Russian, and Swahili. She also possesses the elegance of Cersei Lannister. Always impeccably dressed, Aisha is a staple of positive reviews on the red carpet. Let’s throw in a little Jamie Lannister as well, as Aisha can be snarky and snide, easily keeping up (and often over-shadowing) the improve comedians on Whose Line.
2 Benedict Cumberbatch
Intelligence is a fixture of House Lannister. The obvious example of this is Tyrion Lannister who can pretty much out-converse any other character from any corner of the Seven Kingdoms or Essos. Then there’s Cersei who understands the game of the thrones better than almost anyone else. But perhaps the most underrated of the bunch is the late-patriarch, Tywin. Tywin is a ruthless, meticulous leader; equivalent to your conservative father-in-law who can make a killer investment that benefits the family financially, but doesn’t care if anyone has the right to health-care (you can make your own political comparisons there). I don’t think I’ve seen a role where Benedict Cumberbatch doesn’t play a genius. Well, there was August Osage County where he was sleeping with his cousin (or maybe more but I won’t spoil the movie). But roles like in Doctor Strange, The Imitation Game, and Sherlock prove that Benedict is a master at playing characters who may lack some social necessities but possess something far more vital to being a Lannister - brains.
The Material Girl herself has to round out this list of Lannisters (I’m sorry for the alliteration – it’s easy writing and I’m getting very tired). I don’t think Madonna would dispute that fact that she’s known for being one hard-core diva. She’s arrived three hours late for her own concerts, been rude to her fans, and even demanded her very own throne while on tour. She is a modern-day Cersei Lannister. Madonna is one of the most talented artists of her generation and revolutionized pop music. Her business savvy is something to be admired, and even her ruthless pursuit to achieve and maintain fame and success is kind of commendable. I can just see her doing battle with many of the prominent male producers who have tried to keep her down; and due to her continued mega-success it’s clear that she wiped the floor with each and every one of them. She is a lioness, and will not bow to anyone. Hear her roar.