Most of us probably became familiar with Cole Sprouse in the role of Cody on Disney Channel's The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and The Suite Life on Deck back in the day. If you thought he faded into obscurity after the hit shows came to an end, you wouldn't be alone. In fact, only recently has Sprouse re-emerged on television as Jughead Jones in The CW's Riverdale. But if you were on the Internet at all prior to this year, you probably got to know him as something else entirely--a social media sensation. From jokes about his Disney Channel days to meme-fuelled humor inspired by midnight Tumblr escapades, Cole Sprouse's Twitter account is rife with pithy sayings and humorous anecdotes that will put the breath back into any joyless body.
15 The Good Samaritan
I only started acting again so you guys wouldn't feel like you wasted money on the posters of me at 12.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) April 2, 2017
Aw, leave it to Cole to be looking out for the little guy! As a preteen Disney Channel watcher, Cody from Suite Life was one of my first celebrity crushes. It's not hard to imagine that other girls age 10-14 might've also have been a little too obsessed with one or both of the Sprouse brothers. If you thought they dropped off the map after Suite Life ended, you weren't wrong. The brothers temporarily quit the acting business to pursue their college educations at New York University, and both had expressed interest in resuming their showbiz careers after graduation. But if you take Cole's word for it, it was all a kind-hearted gesture to avoid us realizing we had skewed spending priorities at a young age--at least when it came to our parents' money. Mom and Dad will be asking for that $12 back any day now.
14 The English Critic
Turn that frown upside down~ ahh yes, there's that creepy smile we all fear.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) March 9, 2017
We've all been there. We had a bad day, we're frustrated, we don't want to talk to anybody, and then some jerk thinks everything will magically be fixed if they tell us to "turn that frown upside down!" It was the sort of platitude that probably made your bad attitude that much worse, and likely still does. Cole has no patience for that nonsense, either, and he's got a bone to pick with this annoying saying's logistics. And when you think about it, he's right to question the result of turning a frown upside down. I can't remember the last time I saw someone turn their mouth a full 180 degrees on their face, but I'm sure that's just because I blocked the horrible, terrifying memory from my mind. Sleep tight, kids.
13 The Growing Pains
They say you are what you eat, but I don't remember eating a jaded, anxious human being.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) April 29, 2017
Anybody who's gone through puberty--or is going through it right now--can tell you that your adolescent and young adult years are some of the hardest of your life. Everything's changing around you, and you're changing, too, but rarely at the same pace. Growing up makes you see the world much differently than you did as a child, and you start to learn just how rough it can get. Understandably, all that trial and tribulation can lead to a fair amount of stress and cynicism, and in the darkly self-aware style of humor so characteristic of Millennials, Cole tells us it's okay. Even celebrities have their bumps in the road, and this sarcastic tweet is a message of solidarity for anxious meme-lovers everywhere. I'd say we're all in this together, but that's a reference for a different former Disney star.
12 The Promoter
Since he first stepped into the limelight as a child, Cole has had his fair share of photoshoots. In fact, it was hard to pick just one photoset from his Twitter page to feature here! But this one takes the cake because here, Cole takes the time to promote a fellow Internet sensation's work and even @s him so his own Twitter followers will be encouraged to check out the page of the talented Luke Fontana. Helping other people get their big break is no small feat, and it's encouraging to see someone with Cole's star power doing what he can to help out a new talent and watch them succeed. It's a huge message to publicly endorse someone's work, and with a following as large as he has, it's bound to gain some publicity for Fontana. Good on you, Jughead.
11 The Throwback
The Archie comics have long been famous for their lighthearted tone and family-friendly atmosphere. Parents who buy a subscription to the comic don't have to worry about what their kids might be reading in it, unlike those pesky modern television shows with their foul language and subversive humor. It's no secret that Riverdale dropped this lighthearted, family-friendly tone in favor of appealing to its usual late-teens-to-early-twenties demographic with a dark and serious murder mystery featuring plenty of suggestive scenes. Cole's scan of a vintage Archie panel is humorous for its archaic element; the Archie gang exhibits a reaction to a lewd joke on television that most of us would probably expect from our grandparents, much less from the motley crew of modern teens on Riverdale.
10 The Cat Lady
McDonald's valentines menu sucks tbh. Looks like my cats and I will take our business elsewhere.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) February 14, 2017
Valentine's Day can be a painful holiday for anybody who has to spend it single and/or alone. We all just want to feel loved! Lucky for us, Cole didn't have to spend Valentine's Day alone this year; his cats kept him company! The appeal of growing up to become the neighborhood cat lady--or closest equivalent--isn't lost on anyone who's ever had to deal with a string of human annoyances in succession for any length of time, or has had their fair share of heartbreak. You've likely even thought to yourself at one point or another, "You know what? Forget it. I'll just adopt every cat the Humane Society has and they'll be my friends." Looks like Cole beat us all to the punch! It's a smart move to go somewhere other than McDonald's, though. Those cats deserve only the best.
9 The Anti-Creep
"Where's my hug?" he whimpered, further cementing his position on her no hug list.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) January 25, 2017
It's a feeling that ladies everywhere know all too well. There's that one person in your social circle that simply can't take a hint. This person stands too close, monopolizes too much of your time, and has an unhealthy attachment to you--and he's usually a guy. Just when you think it can't get worse, you're trying to shuffle out unnoticed and he wants to know where his hug is. You want to tell him it's in the trash can, or maybe on the next Greyhound out of town, but you don't want to be rude, so you reluctantly step over and give him the most awkward, uncomfortable hug of your life. This Cole tweet puts those kinds of guys in their place with one simple bit of perspective; if she didn't give you a hug, you're on her "no hug list." That means she doesn't want to touch you, and you shouldn't pressure her to do something she isn't comfortable doing. It's all about the respect.
8 The Brotherly Love
I'm just out here trying to make sure Dylan and I never lose our joint Wikipedia page.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) March 1, 2017
The Sprouse brothers entered the consciousness of most Americans as a unit. Whether you referred to them as the Sprouse brothers, as Dylan and Cole, or as Zack and Cody, you probably rarely, if ever, mentioned one without the other. When siblings rise to stardom together, it can be somewhat disappointing when one sibling's fame eclipses the rest. Take the Jonas Brothers, for example. How often do you think about Kevin? Probably not much, considering you're too busy jamming out to Nick's latest single, or to Joe's work with DNCE. You probably didn't even know Joe was in DNCE until I told you that because you were so busy singing along to "Jealous." And while the Jonas Brothers Wikipedia page is still up, it's all in the past tense, and all the brothers have their own separate pages now. As goes the Internet, so goes the fame, and Cole just wants to preserve the Sprouse brothers power.
7 The Blast from the Past
We all remember saying and doing things when we were younger that were embarrassing, awkward, or socially inept in some way. Sometimes those were things that nobody else witnessed, but sometimes they were things that everyone witnessed and still talks about to this day. In Cole's case, he's reflecting on a particularly embarrassing magazine interview given during his Suite Life days over what sort of girls the then-tween star was into. It shows just how much Cole has grown as a young adult; no doubt the embarrassment comes from having unknowingly supported a stereotype that girls who worry about their appearance or wear makeup to feel more confident are shallow, without understanding the massive pressures girls often feel to conform to specific beauty standards. Don't let this haunt you too much, Cole. I spilled grape juice all over myself in front of the whole school once and I'm the only one who remembers it. People will let it go!
6 The Sage Advice
Show those haters how it's done by hating yourself most.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) December 9, 2016
Everybody has to deal with haters at some point. Whether it's someone who feels threatened by your success or someone who's just plain mean, we've all dealt with people who can't seem to let us be happy. No matter what you do, they'll find a reason to tear it apart and "prove" once and for all that you're not as great as everyone thinks you are. Cole strikes again with some darkly humorous logic; nobody can claim to hate you the most if you're the one who hates you the most! It's a one-liner joke that taps into the often bleak outlook of the Millennial generation and their struggles for acceptance, while also playing on the old adage, "If you can't beat them, join them." But you can't deny there's a certain laughable beauty in it. Nothing would make a hater angrier than knowing that you succeeded in the one area they thought they were excelling in. What a way to turn the tables!
5 The Bad Hair Day
Dispatch described my hair as a "bouffant" today pic.twitter.com/hhFfHdWSQ0— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) October 14, 2016
Anybody who's gone through their family's old photo albums has probably seen plenty of weird hairstyles from bygone eras. I know I've gotten plenty of giggles out of the hair my parents and grandparents sported in the 1970s! But if you're going to critique old hairstyles, you might as well get their names right, and especially if you're comparing them to someone else's current hair. Case in point: Whoever described Cole's hair as this 1960s-era product of hairspray, teasing, bobby pins, and sheer hope. I might've agreed with them if the subject was Cole in the "Suite Life" days--that particular hairstyle was such a product of its time that it's a regular source of embarrassment for the star now--but Cole the Riverdale star certainly doesn't have anywhere near this level of height or volume to his hair, and I'm sure his neck muscles and pleasantly un-stretched face are thanking him.
4 The Self-Deprecating Humor
I'm not that little girl from Disney anymore. I'm a full grown woman now.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) July 24, 2016
And speaking of his hair from the Suite Life days, Cole cracks another joke about his tenure on Disney Channel and the unfortunate style choices that arose from it. Cole will be the first to admit that the shoulder-length hair he and Dylan sported on their hit sitcom was...well, a little bit unflattering. Savvy readers might even remember a certain other entry on our list was tagged #LookLikeALittleDutchGirl in reference to the infamous hairstyle. But you can rest assured that Cole's girlish days are over. Not too shy to have a laugh at his own expense, he's letting us know that the princess costumes and plastic Cinderella shoes have been traded for the silk numbers and Loboutins. We expect you to walk in those shoes, too.
3 The Real Talk
Don't be the weird kid that ignores a parent's phone call because you're with friends.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) July 22, 2016
This one is pretty real. Everybody who's ever struggled to develop an independent identity while still living in their parents' house has probably had at least one night out with friends interrupted by a concerned phone call from Mom and Dad. Or else it was an angry call wondering why you didn't do the dishes before you left, but that isn't the point. It's often tempting to just let the call go to voicemail or even decline it so your fun doesn't have to stop momentarily, but Cole lets us all know exactly what he thinks of that. Parents need love, too, and they need to know you're alright. After all the years that they put up with your spotty personal hygiene and weird phases, the least you could do is pick up the phone.
2 The Family Ties
My grandma just sent me a video explaining what a dab is. Memes have officially destroyed my life and family. pic.twitter.com/vmQeBnp2Pu— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) April 28, 2016
Looks like the memes run in the family! If you ever wondered where Cole gets his outstanding sense of the latest social media trends, look no further than Grandma Sprouse herself. I have to say that I wish my grandma was this cool about memes, instead of looking at me like I've lost my mind every time one slips out. This just goes to show that memes really do bring solidarity to us all, if only because I'm glad I'm not the only one who dabs exclusively to get a reaction out of my friends and family. Overall, it's a charming video and a truly lighthearted and carefree moment for the grandmother of one of our favorite stars. Of course, this begs the question...are there any videos of the Sprouse parents floating around out there, and what do I have to do to find them?
1 The Words to Live By
Protest racism, protest xenophobia, protest homophobia, protest inequality, protest hate, protest hate, protest hate, but don't become it.— Cole M. Sprouse (@colesprouse) November 10, 2016
Another down-to-earth tweet peppered among the memes and Riverdale jokes reminds us all that bad things certainly exist in this world. People are terrible a lot, and do a lot of awful things. They hold wrong or harmful beliefs, or they act out in ways meant to hurt or disadvantage people they don't view as their equals. Cole takes a moment to tell us it's okay to disagree with these things, and it's okay to speak out against them, but it's never okay to adopt their tactics in the fight. In such contentious times, the surprisingly sage words of a young actor give us all some pause to consider what we really stand for. Way to tug on my heartstrings, Cole. Of course I'm not crying.