Wedding season is in full swing, and that means our Facebook timelines are filled with romantic pictures of our old high school friends and acquaintances getting engaged or married to their supposed soulmates. We all comment our congratulations and a dozen heart emojis on every obnoxiously sappy picture to seem supportive, but let's be real—we're totally jealous that seemingly everyone we know is off getting their happily-ever-afters while we're sitting alone in our living rooms hugging a pint of ice cream. Well, it's time to cheer up! Sure, we might be super single right now, but so long as we're not in a relationship, we don't have to worry about being in one of these seriously cringeworthy engagement pictures! If being in love means subjecting ourselves to this sort of humiliation, we're totally fine being single forever.
15 Pooping balloons
In many engagement photoshoots, the to-be-married couple tries to include a few pictures that feature their combined hobbies and passions. After all, those hobbies likely helped bring them closer together and solidified their love for each other! This couple clearly shares a love for some sort of gymnastics or yoga, as evidenced by the ease with which they're executing this extremely difficult pose. Just check out how flexible the woman looks, and how at peace the man appears as he holds her up! It's another adorable engagement picture idea...if you ignore the fact that this pose requires her boobs to be sticking out pretty dramatically, and the tragic placement of the bouquet of balloons makes them look like they're coming out of the man's butt!
14 They should have thought this one through first
We see what this couple was trying to do here, and we give them credit for their adorable attempt...but the finished product here is just absolutely embarrassing. After getting engaged, they enrolled in a couple's cooking class so both of them would be capable of making their future spouse a delicious meal. That's really sweet, especially in a world where most husbands just expect their wives to do all the work in the kitchen. After playing around with some ingredients, they spelled out their initials, and put a big heart in-between them. Pretty cute and innocent, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, his initials are "A.N." and hers are "A.L.," so when put together... you get "anal." This totally looks like their kiss is the result of their mutual love for butt sex.
13 Cupid's arrow
Here's another couple who might have had good intentions, but their engagement picture didn't come out exactly the way they had hoped for. We're sure they were trying to go for a "he's shooting Cupid's arrow of love at his fiancée" idea, but the picture definitely gives off more of a "I'm going to kill my fiancée" vibe instead. Also, he is using a real bow with a real arrow, and he's got the drawstring pulled back with his deadly weapon pointed right at his unsuspecting lover—all it'd take is one slight slip and this photoshoot could have ended in disaster! Maybe next time, just use props...or, you know, just take a normal picture where you hug or hold hands. That'd work too, and would be infinitely safer.
12 Big happy—and furry—family
Engagement pictures which featured floating heads in the background may seem utterly ridiculous to this generation, but back in the '70s, they were all the rage. This ridiculously old-fashioned couple knew that their engagement didn't only bring them together, but it also brought their pets together...so they made sure to include their cat and dog (and their floating heads, of course) into their first official picture as a family. Everything about this photo is perfectly, wonderfully embarrassing, from the couple's hideous outfits to the "please don't make me do this" expressions on their pets' faces. We can't help but smile over how the bride-to-be looks totally happy and in love...but then we check out the serial killer vibe the future groom is giving off. Too creepy.
11 Engaged to a ghost
The photographer behind this engagement photoshoot likely thought he was some sort of artistic genius. He got the betrothed couple to stand on opposite sides of a glass panel, so he'd be able to capture an interesting reflection effect. On one side, the future bride stands alone, but if you look at the panel, it appears her hubby-to-be is standing right next to her. It's a sweet idea, sure, but it totally makes the guy look like a ghost hovering over his soulmate. Thank goodness the couple played along with this weird idea and smiled, because if it wasn't clear that they were happy, we'd be totally freaked out by this one. Hopefully this will be a lesson for photographers everywhere that sometimes keeping it simple is best.
10 What a romantic photoshoot location
The setting for your engagement photoshoot is extremely important. Where you take your pictures says a lot about you as a couple—are you as passionate and romantic as the ocean at sunset? Should you go to a park to show how you're both playful and fun-loving? Or should you take pictures around a local port-a-potty because you both share a common love for...poop? This awkward couple head out in the woods with their autumn-appropriate outfits, but instead of taking some pictures posing in front of some trees or flowers, they spotted a public toilet and decided it was the perfect place to announce their love for each other to the world. She pretended she had to pee, and he smiled after finishing his business in there. It's a little bit funny, sure, but it's definitely not the sort of engagement picture you want to show off to your family!
9 Nothing's more sensual than a nice motorboat session
Engagement photos typically get included on the wedding invitations you send to your family, or in photo albums you post on Facebook to show off your love and big news to all of your friends. So why exactly would you ask for this type of picture from your photographer?! Did this girl really think her parents wanted to see their future son-in-law nose-deep in their daughter's breasts? Did this guy really need to kiss his fiancée's knockers in what was supposed to be a sweet and romantic photography session? The setting was beautiful, their outfits were nice, but they went and absolutely ruined everything by being super perverted. Okay, maybe he was just trying to sensually listen to her heartbeat and embrace his soulmate, but...all we see is motorboating.
8 We're sure their parents loved this one
Here's another gem of an engagment picture that we're sure this couple's family really appreciated (and we're sure their future kids will find absolutely disgusting). When little kids do this pose, it's typically in a wheel-barrow relay race where one partner holds onto the other's legs as they race to the finish line walking on their hands. When adults do this pose...it just looks like they're experimenting with a new sex position. This couple's serious and extremely awkward facial expressions certainly don't help change that, either—they totally look like they're trying to get away with something inappropriate. What makes it worse is they're actually a really attractive couple...they should seriously consider just smiling for pictures and saving their Kama Sutra techniques for the bedroom.
7 Wait, what does her sign say?!
There are parts of this picture that we really like. The "save the date" on their shoes is really cute, and a great way to make sure their wedding guests know when their special day will be. The matching outfits are adorable, and while we think it's weird to cover both of your faces in your engagement photo, the kiss behind a cowboy hat is super cute. But then we see the signs. The "she's mine" in all caps on the guy's sign is way too intense and possessive. And when you first look at her sign, it really looks like she wrote "he raped me." Luckily it says "roped," not "raped," but if there's even a slight possibility that people would misread that...it's probably not the best idea.
6 Baby, please don't go
This engagement picture absolutely screams "baby, please don't leave me!" Instead of being a celebration of two soulmates and equals finding each other, it shows the man standing tall and emotionally distant, as his future bride lays down at his feet, desperately holding onto his leg with a look of sadness and desperation on her face. Girl, stand up! If this is the guy who supposedly wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he shouldn't be making you lay down on the ground like some sort of inferior (or animal). Hopefully, this was the photographer's stupid idea, because if it was the groom's...she should call the engagement off and try to find someone who will treat her with more respect.
5 Who on earth thought this was a cute idea?!
This one really forces us to wonder—is the scarf in this picture supposed to be symbolic? Was this couple trying to make some sort of beautiful and profound metaphoric statement about their love that is flying way over our heads? Or did they just come up with the worst, most ridiculous engagement picture idea ever? While brainstorming different poses and outfits for their photo session, these two decided to take the scarf wrapped around the future bride's neck, and wrap it around the future groom's neck as well. If one of them were to run away, the other would likely choke to death. Is that...the message they were trying to send? That they're chained together for life by the noose around their necks? That's not insanely romantic, it's just insane.
4 We get it, the ring cost a lot
Here, we have an extremely attractive couple, in very appropriate and attractive outfits, at an incredibly attractive beach on a beautiful summer's day. You'd think it'd be almost impossible to screw up a picture with so many perfect elements, but this couple somehow managed to blow it. If they just held hands or kissed, this picture could have found its way onto a magazine, but instead, the woman focused solely on her very expensive ring and her fiancé showed off his empty pockets to further emphasize how expensive the ring he purchased was. We get it, the ring cost several months' salary (as is custom), but people could have figured that out on their own without you bringing so much attention to its value. How about you two gorgeous young lovers use your engagement photos to show off your passion for each other, not just the new bling?!
3 We're sure they're mature enough to get married
Many divorced adults say that the biggest reason their marriages failed is because they got married too young, when they were too naive and immature. If that's the case, we have some serious concerns for the longevity of this couple's relationship. The guy threw on a horse mask, got down on all fours, and gave his unicorn bride-to-be a nice ride during their engagement photo session. Surely that's something a couple who is totally ready to grow up and get married should do, right? While their friends are totally going to get a kick out of this, their will parents probably be a little worried about whether or not their kids are ready for such a big, mature step upon seeing this funny—but undeniably stupid—image.
2 Keeping it classy
They say when you start getting truly intimate with your partner, you should feel comfortable doing gross stuff like picking your nose, farting and peeing in front of them. Just because you're comfortable doing that sort of stuff doesn't mean you have to, though! There are some times when you should just keep some mystery in your relationship, and try to keep things classy—your engagement photo session with a professional photographer is one of those times. This nasty dude thought it'd be fun to take a whiz in full few of the camera, and while his fiancée seemed to have a sense of humor about it, we're sure deep down she was praying that he doesn't do anything this disgusting on their wedding day in front of all of her friends and family!
1 Show me the booty
When you share a pet with your fiancé, it's completely normal to include that pet in an engagement picture or two. After all, they are part of the family! This couple made their dog's inclusion in the photoshoot really awkward though, because instead of having the pup sit at their side or on their laps, they had it stand up so they could gaze lovingly at his butt. Okay, we know that that's probably not actually what was happening here, but it's certainly the impression we get from the awkward crop of this picture! They appear to be all smiles as they hardcore stare at their pooch's caboose, and while we're all for loving your pets...this is taking things just a bit too far.