The New Years resolution gym-goers have filtered out by now, but it's time for the second wave of overcrowding: summer is coming. Bathing suit season is right around the corner, so gyms are now filled with clueless newbies trying to get in shape to post the ever-popular "suns out, guns out" selfies the second the beach opens for the season. If you're one of those novices with no clue what you're doing in the gym, don't worry—you're definitely not alone. Chances are, if you just briefly glance at the diagrams next to each exercise machine or take a second to look up proper form or usage online, you look a lot more professional than these awkward, cringe-inducing fitness wannabes!
15 This can only end poorly
Smith machines are popular because they allow for a wide variety of intense exercises. Bench press, squats, pull-ups—all valid workouts to perform on a Smith machine. Leg press? Not so much. All it would take is for one shoe to slip off that bar, and the bar will crash down right on his butt and mess up his tailbone or even worse, smash his balls beyond repair. And how is he going to rotate the bar so it can lock when he's finished?! There are just so many problems with this, it can only end poorly. Next time, just wait an extra five minutes for the person on the actual leg press machine to get off. You look like a complete idiot.
14 Easy there, Gumby
Exercise enthusiasts have spent years debating the validity of intentionally arching your back during certain exercises, but this guy is taking arching about 10 steps too far. Unless he's a long-lost descendant of Gumby—that stretchy, boneless green creature from the '90s claymation disaster Gumby: The Movie (and before that, no joke, the TV show Howdy Doody)—this back really shouldn't be bending that way. Especially while trying to lift a weight that heavy. If you see someone with form this horrific at your local gym, pull out your phone, and either record his back-breaking fail to post all over the internet or dial 911. You're going to be receiving plenty of thanks either way.
13 Bulking up with a good book
If you ignore the cargo shorts, this guy was on the right track, going to the gym with a towel, a water bottle and a sleeveless Adidas workout shirt. But apparently, when he was told that spending a few hours a week at the gym would help him get a better body, he took the advice a bit too literally. He didn't realize that you have to actually exercise if you want to see any positive results. You have to give him at least a little bit of credit for trying his hardest to follow that advice though. He even made sure to bring a really long book, so he'd be forced to stay at the gym, and on that workout bench, for several hours.
12 This might not be as effective as you're hoping
This woman also seemed to miss the memo that simply going to the gym won't help you reach your health and fitness goals. Instead of standing up and walking or running on the treadmill like a normal person, she decided to sit in a chair and just occasionally place her feet on the track. In about two hours, she might burn as many calories as she would have if she tried just walking upright for five minutes or less. However, if her resolution was only to "go to the gym," she's technically still reaching all of her goals and on the right track towards making 2017 the year all her dreams come true. But maybe next year, she should raise her expectations just a little bit.
11 That seat isn't meant to be a tackling dummy
So many of the gym fails you read about online seem to be caused by people's boredom with modern leg press machines. Everyone either just gives up on leg day entirely, or nearly kills themselves trying to think of new and innovative ways to bulk up their legs. This guy saw a leg press machine, and decided, "why just sit back and work my legs when I can leg press and treat the seat like it's a tackling dummy?!" He then proceeded to prop himself up, so he could repeatedly squat down and launch himself back at his makeshift dummy. This might actually be a decent leg exercise, but with how moronic he made himself look, the humiliation is probably not worth the potential gains.
10 This personal trainer is a real keeper
This poor guy is clearly in decent shape, and likely hired a personal trainer to push him to his limits and help him finally achieve his dream beach body. Unfortunately for him, his trainer is a bit more interested in the cute girl stretching a few feet away. They're both going to get a serious wake-up call in a matter of seconds, because the squatter is about to drop a ton of plates onto the gym floor, and likely collapse in the process. Maybe use some barbell locking nuts so your weights don't shift around and cause you to lose your balance and fall down the next time your trainer inevitably decides to focus on a hot chick instead of you! Or...get a less flirty trainer.
9 Dress to impress...or not
Okay, you shouldn't really have to look nice at the gym. Unless you're completely desperate and your local gym is virtually the only place you can meet single men or women, you should feel comfortable going in a plain pair of athletic shorts, some shoes and an old T-shirt. This guy couldn't even manage to throw those basic essentials on, though. The tank top is fine, but then he just threw on a pair of boxers and some flip flops. That's certainly one way to get people's attention! If he drops a weight on his feet or gets a little too excited and causes his junk to slip through the slit in his boxer shorts, he's surely going to regret not spending the extra two seconds gathering real gym clothes.
8 Looks like quite the neck workout!
This is how you can tell that leg day is skipped by way too many new gym rats—nobody seems to have any clue how to actually use the leg machines! The correct usage of this machine is fairly simple to figure out: You just lay down on your chest, put your heels against the cushioned bar and curl them up. This guy did lay on his chest, but in the opposite direction, and instead of doing leg curls, he tried attempting the rarely-seen neck curls. Neck strength is important, sure, but there has to be a less dangerous (not to mention, less ridiculous) way to work out those muscles. We have to ask, where are the gym employees to make sure insanity like this doesn't happen?!
7 Gym bros before hoes? Maybe not
Going to the gym with a friend is a great idea. Gym buddies can help push you to do more sets than you might have been motivated to do on your own, and they can spot you when you're trying to lift heavier weights than you may have been comfortable lifting solo. Well, that's all assuming "gym bros before hoes" is applicable to you and your workout buddy. This guy was supposed to be helping to spot his bro on the bench press, but he saw a hottie curling behind him, and totally forgot about his duties as a spotter. As a result, the bench pressing bro dropped the bar on his chest, and is in some serious, justifiable pain. Come on, bro! You had one job!
6 Snooki, is that you?!
Either this girl is hoping that MTV reboots Jersey Shore and wants to be a member of the new cast, or Snooki has given up on being a mom and is back to her old ways. Either way, this girl is all about that club life, so she has no time to take off her party dress or high heels. They say "if you've got it, flaunt it," but this might be taking things just a bit too far. You have to give her some credit though; if you're searching for a fitness-loving boyfriend, this is a decent way to find one. Even though she looks like a complete fool, she probably gets a dozen phone numbers from juiced up meatheads every time she goes to the gym in that outfit.
5 R.I.P., gym bro. At least your form was decent
Sometimes, even when you know and use the right form, things can end in chaos. Especially if you're trying to set a personal record months before you're ready. The first part of this guy's squat attempt looked good, but when he tried completing the rep, the immense weight caused him to fall back and land with the heavy bar on his upper chest and neck. The sound of such heavy weights hitting the ground likely caused the whole gym to see his embarrassing wipeout...which may be for the best, because he probably needed someone to call an ambulance. Or a mortician. Hopefully someone there was also strong enough to get that bar off of him, because otherwise, he'd still probably be trapped under it.
4 Spotting, or trying to get to third base?
Unlike some easily distracted gym bros, this spotter made sure to give his exercise buddy his absolute, complete, undivided attention. That may not, however, be a good thing, or even remotely what his friend wanted. Normally, spotters stand behind or to the side of the lifter...not directly on top of the lifter, with their junk in the lifter's face. This is a bit too intimate for most gyms, so it's no wonder someone pulled out their phone and secretly grabbed a picture of this awkwardly sexual moment. Many experts say that exercise can get you in the mood...but at least wait into you're in the locker room or something, guys. The hand weight section isn't the place to start racing towards third base.
3 If this didn't end in injury, this lifter needs to become a superhero
These guys need to be the new hosts of Jackass. It's easy to imagine the outcome of this exercise—the ball is going to slide out from under the lifter's feet, he and the heavy bar he's attempting to lift are going to fall backwards, and his friend is going to get knocked down to the ground and crushed under the combined weight. There just isn't any other way that this could end, and if they spent even a second trying to calculate the physics or logic of the workout, they'd have realized that too. Unless the lifter has unnaturally good balance and Spider-Man's reflexes, of course. If that's the case, he needs to leave the gym and start using his superhuman talents to fight crime.
2 It's all you, man
What's better than having one friend with you at the gym, encouraging you and pushing you throughout every exercise? Having two friends with you! This guy's gym buddies are a bit too supportive, and are allowing him to think he's curling way more than he actually is. The bro on the left seems to be doing a good majority of the work, and the bro on the right is essentially humping the curler in his effort to help stabilize him. Teamwork makes the dream work, but this much teamwork won't exactly lead to maximum gains. How they all seem to have such solid muscles we'll never know...maybe frat bros know a lot more than they let on. Or maybe they just take a lot of steroids.
1 Pretty sure that's not sweat...
We've all heard of people accidentally squeezing out a fart when pushing their body to complete a particularly hard rep, so most gym lovers have learned to ignore it when someone on the machine next to them toots. It's not quite as easy to ignore seeing someone pee themselves during their workout. This guy is in fantastic shape, and from the look on his face, he was really intent on knocking this last rep out. You can't get a body like that if you give up on sets mid-rep, right?! Well, he was so intent, that he couldn't bare to leave the machine and go to the bathroom first. That's right, his workout was more important to him than his dignity, so he pissed himself with pride knowing that he didn't give up on his pursuit of gains for even a second.