As adults, most of us have all been at least a little tipsy, if not outright drunk after a night of beer, wine and/or mixed drinks. And the thing about getting drunk is that it makes us sometimes say or do stupid things. Usually, it's nothing major, but sometimes, we do stuff that our sober selves would never have even thought of. Other people, though, have managed to get so drunk that they do the unimaginable (at least by sober standards) and then they go on a site like Whisper and confess what they did. Fortunately, for us, we can read those confessions and either relate, commiserate or maybe even laugh at what some people have done after a wild, drunken night. Here are some of the most cringeworthy of those Whisper confessions.
15 Barf-worthy sex
There's drunk and then there's "have sex with someone you just met" drunk, and unfortunately, the latter happens to a lot of people who have one too many (or several too many). The drunken act in this confession, though, takes the cake (or leaves it in the bed). Getting drunk also ups your potential for getting sick and vomiting up everything you had that evening, and apparently, this happened while this Whisper user was having sex. But it seems that the partner was also so drunk that they didn't even notice because that guy ended up laying in the vomit. Even more cringe-worthy is the exit: leaving the dude there in a pool of vomit that wasn't his and hoping he'd wake up thinking he'd made that mess. Ew.
14 Eating little furry creatures
It's highly unlikely that most people have been so drunk that they ate a family pet or some other cute little furry creature. And that's what makes this Whisper confession so horrifying. How much does one need to drink to start thinking that a hamster would make a good meal? And just how did that drunk person come in contact with that hamster anyway? Considering that hamsters are generally pets, did this person actually eat someone else's best friend? The mind boggles when thinking about what this particular drunken story entails, and the truth is, we really don't want to know much more than that. A hamster? Really? We think maybe this person needs help, or at least we hope that maybe they've given up drinking so much ever again.
13 Making out with the Hoover
The first time people get drunk is usually when they do the craziest things. It's that time when you don't really know how much alcohol you can handle and you don't know what to expect when the liquor hits your brain, which means that pretty much anything can happen. In the case of this Whisper user, it also means that somehow, the vacuum cleaner starts looking really good at the end of the night, so much that you just want to make out with it. Although if this happened in a social setting, it's likely that this make out session occurred on a dare. Whatever the case, it's still enough to make a sober person cringe because who makes out with a vacuum? A drunk person, that's who.
12 Drunk texting a sibling
Something that many drunk people do after they have downed way too much liquor is pick up their mobile phones and randomly text whoever happens to turn up at the top of their contacts list. And usually, those drunk texts are beyond embarrassing and worthy of cringing from sober people. In this case, one Whisper user got so drunk that he texted his sister, but instead of saying something that wouldn't make sense later, he actually texted her and told her he had sexual feelings for her. Needless to say, that's going to make for one seriously awkward time with the family. How do you even recover from that sort of thing? Even though he was obviously drunk, what part of his brain still thought that was a good idea?
11 Who needs a toilet?
Drinking a lot usually means that you have to pee a lot because the liquid part of the alcohol goes right through you, while the other part of the alcohol, the part that makes you feel wasted, starts its work on your liver and your mind. But if you get so drunk that you don't even realize what's going on, this confession is something that could happen. What's incredible about this one, though, is that this Whisper user still managed to find the bathroom, but seemed to forget what it was actually for once inside. So instead of using a toilet like any normal sober person would do, this person just kept the pants on and peed in them instead. Not only is this disgusting, but it's also extremely cringeworthy.
10 Paying spouse for sex
If you have ever been so drunk that you paid your spouse for having sex with you, you probably need to stop drinking. This Whisper confession makes it sound like the person who wrote it thought they were potentially having sex with a prostitute instead, which makes us wonder if this is something that's happened before. Although the user genuinely seems shocked about paying his wife $50 after sex, sometimes we learn things from our drunken selves that seriously disturb us. Regardless, this is a cringeworthy confession about the dangers of drinking with a loved one, or more like the dangers of drinking too much when a loved one is present. Now, the only question remaining is what the spouse thought of this generous "gift?"
9 Drunk texting the ex's mom
One of the things that probably happens the most when people get drunk is that they start texting people they have cut out of their lives, particularly ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends. But this Whisper user took that drunken mistake one step further and actually sent a text to the ex's mother. Who does that? But there's even more to cringe about than that: because in that text, the Whisper user actually inappropriately propositioned the ex's mother, sending a message to the poor woman asking her if she wanted to have an affair. That's just so wrong on so many levels and we can only imagine what that mom thought when receiving the text. It's also highly likely that the sender of that message freaked out once sobriety hit.
8 Giving Mom's phone number to the drug dealer
Every woman knows the secret of the fake number. That's the phone number you give out when a guy you're not interested in asks for it. It's probably a better idea, though, just to refuse giving out any number and expressing disinterest, because if you happen to screw up and give out a real number, someone will get a phone call. In the case of this Whisper user, that number belonged to her mom, who ended up having several conversations with the guy. And that guy was not only sleazy, but also a drug dealer, which is kind of funny considering that Mom seems to like him. Needless to say, if you're that drunk, don't take any chances: don't give out any numbers when asked for it.
7 That's not the chair
When you've clearly had too much to drink, reality starts bending and you see things or don't see things, or everything just exists in this hazy kind of fog. That means that you should probably double-check what you think you see, but who double-checks anything when intoxicated? This Whisper user got so wasted that somehow a girl's butt started to look like the back of a chair, and so he thought, "Hey, I'll just lean on that to hold myself up." What this Whisper doesn't cover, though, is how long the girl actually let him get away with that. But at some point, she decided that this dude using her butt as a wall wouldn't cut it and, apparently, there was almost a fight.
6 It's not fun until someone gets hurt
Getting drunk usually results in someone getting hurt, leading to the old saying that "it's not fun until someone gets hurt," or even "it's not fun until something gets broken." In this case, this Whisper user got a lot more than what they signed up for in the drunk department because they not only managed to get hurt, but they also managed to crack a rib. The imagination boggles at exactly what happened to cause this broken rib: did this person get into a fist fight in a bar? Did this person have some crazy sex? Did this person run into the edge of a table or bar? How does one manage to break a rib and not know about it? They do it while incredibly intoxicated, that's how.
5 That's not a plate
Something that always happens when you get drunk is that you're likely to also get really hungry. There's something about alcohol that just makes you want to eat. And if it's dinner time and you've got food available, you're going to make yourself a plate of something that you can chow down on. In this case, though, the Whisper user thought that the laptop looked a lot like a plate (or maybe he didn't want to bother with actually finding a plate) and just served dinner right on that. Which is definitely not a good idea. The best part, though? This Whisper user's mother watched these shenanigans without saying a word, although it's likely that she got a good laugh out of it: who wouldn't?
4 Getting poked?
Getting so drunk that you don't remember what happened is never a good idea. Blacking out means that you've definitely had way too much and you should probably question your drinking habits. Getting that drunk with someone else, though, is equally as bad, if not worse, because if you're hanging out with that person, they can do just about anything to you. This Whisper user has looked at this weird scar on his penis for a year without ever remembering how he got it. How does that even happen? And how did he finally learn about why that scar is there? And why would anyone, drunk or sober, let anyone get close to their genitals with something sharp like a needle? This is beyond cringeworthy.
3 This isn't Game of Thrones
Um, WTF?! It might be relatively normal on Game of Thrones, but incest isn't really very cool in modern society and is generally frowned upon. You want cringeworthy? Here's a moment worthy of Cersei and Jaime Lannister: this Whisper user got so drunk that he decided that having sex with his sister was a good idea. But the story is much worse than that: it was his twin sister. Which makes us cringe even more. Obviously, this was probably two people who got drunk together and here's hoping that they never ever do that again. When the personal filters don't include siblings, you should probably question your drinking habits. Here's hoping they both learned a valuable lesson and that their indiscretion won't haunt them for the rest of their lives.
2 Don't drink and tattoo
There are a lot of stories all over the world about people who got too drunk and then decided to get tattoos. It sort of makes sense as tattoos are painful and booze takes some of the sting off of it. Sometimes, though, tattoo parlors won't let people who are too drunk get tattoos, but this Whisper user's story is different. Not only did this person get so stinking drunk that a random tattoo seemed like a good idea, but that random tattoo was the name of a roommate. The bonus is that the tattoo is somewhere that isn't visible all the time, but it's still pretty embarrassing when you drunk love your roomie so much that you have their name engraved on your butt cheek.
1 Easy weight loss
Drinking booze is not something you would normally associate with weight loss, but when you're really drunk, all those calories become something magical that floats around in your brain and make you think the impossible. Although this Whisper is slightly disturbing as it suggests that an extremely drunk person was responsible for a car (here's hoping this person wasn't actually driving), it's still kind of funny because the parking meter suddenly seemed like a scale. So this person put money in and thought they'd instantly lost 100 pounds. It makes you wonder just how drunk they really were, right? And it's cringeworthy, because to mistake a parking meter on a city street for a scale means that you're pretty far gone. Again, we hope that this person wasn't the said driver of the vehicle they were paying parking for.