15 Disney Prince Charmings Who Were Actually Total D-bags

In: Pop Culture
15 Disney Prince Charmings Who Were Actually Total D-bags

Who didn’t grow up watching the original Disney classics? They were filled with cool characters, catchy songs, and engrossing storylines. Even now in 2017, we’re still addicted to every movie Disney spits out. But let’s be real, when it comes to Disney movies, the ones about princesses and princes are the best. There’s something so enchanting about a happily ever after getting interrupted. However, just because these themes in the films are our favorite, doesn’t mean they’re without flaws. Oh, hell no. As much as Disney tries to make their princes seem swoon-worthy and desirable, they kind of missed the mark. Sure, these guys (and animals) are all attractive for being a cartoon character, and go above and beyond for their women — but they still screw up from time to time and come off as complete D-bags. Some of them are born royal and others are royal by association, nevertheless, they’re known as the princes of Disney. I know it’s hard to believe, but our dream boat princes are not as sweet and endearing as you think, and here’s why.

15. Prince Naveen

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Prince Naveen was a pretty annoying dude. He was egotistical, cocky, and an all around a D-bag. He rolled up into New Orleans thinking he was going to remain a wealthy royal by marrying another wealthy young lady. If you’ve never seen Princess and the Frog before, he needed to marry another wealthy woman because even his PARENTS — the people who are supposed to love and adore him unconditionally – had enough of his unacceptable antics. In short: they were cutting him off financially. Hey Naveen, if you want to remain a wealthy royal, how about you do something worthwhile and get a JOB. It really grinds our gears that he tried to take advantage of Tiana the way that he did. Thank God she’s a baddy with a 0 tolerance policy towards bull crap.

14. Prince Charming

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I’m not going to lie. Finding Disney princes that were D-bags was kind of tough. These gentlemen are supposed to be viewed at in the highest manner. Most of them come from strong families, they’re typically on some sort of mission, and they all sacrifice a lot for the women in their lives. What’s not to like? Well, let’s start with the basics. **In comes Prince Charming** Sure, he was dreamy and dressed nice. But homeboy didn’t even remember what the “love of his life” looked like. He had to try a glass slipper on every woman in the city just to see if it fit… To make matters worse, he wasn’t even the one who was meeting the women — his little troll, the Grand Duke, did his dirty work.

13. John Smith

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I immediately wrote John Smith down as a total D-bag, but then I started thinking about it: was he even a prince? The answer is no. Although Disney’s Pocahontas is far from factual, the lovers of the cartoon still view John as a prince by association. Pocahontas is a princess but she never ended up going back to England with John Smith. Nevertheless, this blonde haired beauty is called a prince by many, which is why he made our list.

Besides only loving land and gold, John pretty much caused a huge rift between Poca and her family. He also did a dumb AF thing and tried to get her to go back to England with him. Like, what kind of man rolls up into a girl’s promise land, tries to take over, then take her back to his homeland WITHOUT ever meeting her parents? FIO, Johnny boy.

12. Prince Philip

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This pains me to say, but Prince Philip from Sleeping Beauty was kind of a D-bag. He’s not high up on the list, but he’s the image of adolescent testosterone. He wasn’t rude to Princess Aurora or anything like that, but when it came to his family — he was kind of a dick. (Well, if we want to be technical, Prince Philip did make a “grossed out” face when he first met Aurora when she was born, but he was young and dumb then.) As soon as Philip met Aurora in that creepy forest, he rode home on his horse and told his dad some huge news without being sensitive to his feelings. He friggin’ rides in and pretty much says “Hey pops, guess what? I met a woman, I’m skipping this whole arranged marriage thing, and I’m marrying this broad I found in the woods. See you at my party later, bye!” Ummm, don’t you think this is a life-changing decision that needs to be conversed about? We’d say so.

11. Prince Ferdinand

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Considering Snow White was released in 1937, most of us barely remember Snow White’s man. What was his name anyway?  Prince Ferdinand wasn’t really a large part of the film. He legit shows up in the beginning (his name is never mentioned BTW), sings her a little tune, and shows up at the end to kiss his “one true love” to cure her from her curse. You’re probably wondering what’s so D-bag worthy about that? So let me tell you. He is practically nonexistent. I get that she is driven off her land and is pretty much on the run for her life, but like, Ferdinand, where the hell were you? Where have you been? You legit sing her song and then show up when it’s convenient to kiss her? Have you ever heard of hard work before or were you not taught how to court a lady? Judging by your moves in this flick, we’re guessing not. Have a good day, goodbye.

10. Kristoff

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Most people who have seen Disney’s Frozen believe that Hans is the ultimate antagonist and the image of D-baggery. However, let’s pump the breaks and rewind a little bit to when we first met Kristoff. His first words to her were “Carrots…behind you.” Um, I know he was frozen and covered in snow, but like, can he use some manners? THEN when he humbly gave Anna a ride on his sled, he starts interrogating her about her life choices. He scolds her for putting her feet on his sled (God forbid) and asks if she was “raised in a barn.” UM, that’s a little harsh saying that to someone you just met. He then judges the sh*t out of her for being engaged to someone she met that day. I understand her “love story” sounds a little cray, but who is he to judge? Stay in your lane, Kristoff.

9. Prince Edward

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I bet you didn’t think Prince Edward from Disney’s Enchanted would make it onto this list, did you?! Let’s face it, Edward is hot and all — but he’s dumb as a rock. He’s so gung-ho on marrying someone instead of looking at the big picture. Yes, I know he left the cartoon world for the real world in search for his lady, but he at the end of the day, he was in love with one person: himself. He pretty much fought everyone he encountered and didn’t give Giselle the chance to spread her wings and be independent while in New York.

Edward, we love that you love love, but if the woman you love says she needs more time to find out who she is and to date you — you should give her the time. What’s the rush? Stop being so damn impulsive.

8. Flynn Rider

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Eugene Fitzherbert (awesome last name) AKA Flynn Rider is an actual D-bag. He legit knows he’s attractive and tries using his looks to his advantage. Earth to Flynn: Rapunzel has probably never met a man before, so she’s not going to find your “smouldering” look sexual. She’s going to think you’re having a stroke. Nonetheless, Rapunzel does eventually end up falling for his charms once she discovers the real Flynn; not the pompous bad boy Flynn.

He’s a thief, a liar, and selfish AF. He has his own name to look after and doesn’t care who he hurts to save his own butt. Sure, he says he’ll try to help Rapunzel out, but he ends up dragging her into trouble along the way. Instead of Rapunzel feeling free, he pretty much almost got her killed. #NoBueno.

7. Robin Hood

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Admit it, for those of us who have seen Disney’s Robin Hood, he was kind of sensual for being a cartoon. I think it’s because he was a fox that acted just like a human (he walked on two feet, ate like a human, shot the bow and arrow like a human, etc…). Anyways, besides his hotness — Robin was a total D-bag. Yes, he made it his life’s mission to help the poor, but he only went about it by stealing from the wealthy. Excuse me, Robin, you can’t get your way by hurting others. If you want to help your community, reach out to the wealthy yourself. Maybe start a few fundraisers or do some networking. Yeah – I understand this is a fictional cartoon we’re talking about, but he turned down a good girl for years just to be a thief. Many people viewed him as a good guy, but nope — not us.

Oh, and in case there are any haters out there; Robin is considered a prince for his relationship with the niece of King Richard. He was also considered the Prince of Thieves.

6. Li Shang

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Hey, what’s up, Li Shang? I wonder how post-war is treating this fighting D-bag. Sure, Shang accepted Mulan for the person she was and not by her gender (there are numerous reports that Li was attracted to Mulan when she was portraying Ping, a man), but he truly thought he was the King of the land. Like, congratulations, you have an amazing body, know how to fight, and are smart as a whip. But you don’t need to tear others down just to get your point across. I understand he was doing what was best for China’s army, but he legit told them they weren’t men without saying more than five words to them. Despite his harsh words and his lack of compassion, Mulan was all over him like white on rice. The two became engaged (apparently) and he’s now considered a Disney Prince.

5. Prince Eric

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Ha! I can’t look at a picture of Prince Eric without laughing at this D-bag. Like, what kind of man literally takes a naked woman who can’t speak—who he found at a beach—without calling the authorities or doing a little research? Then again, Ariel is an idiot because she could have easily wrote her name in the sand, or could have even written out her story for him, but regardless, Eric is a mess. Before he marries a mermaid that he knew for like, a week, he legit takes her into his home, leads her on, and then *POOF* leaves her for Ursula’s alter-ego. Granted, he was under her spell, but that just goes to show how weak minded he was. Not to mention he was picky AF. He literally told Grimsby that the perfect girl was out there for him…somewhere. Eric. I know you’re a prince who is tall, dark, and handsome, but you’re not as much of a catch as you think you are.

4. Hans

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Prince Hans Westerguard of the Southern Isles is the main antagonist in Frozen and is legitimately a bad person. He had a mission to take over Arendelle and was even willing to kill a young lady just to take the crown. Actually, two young ladies! He’s a freak and he’s not even that attractive. Considering he’s the youngest of 13 siblings and obviously gets zero attention in his own kingdom, he thought it was time to take over another kingdom through marriage. The only problem is that he forgot he was a total D-bag with a terrible plan. He made a young and impressionable princess fall in love with him. Then, once he knew he had her, he decided to calculate a plan to kill off her family and take over her kingdom. He’s cold, calculated, and all sorts of rude. Hans, you’re the worst.

3. Aladdin

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Aladdin, Aladdin, Aladdin, what are we going to do with you? Not only are you a selfish and compulsive liar, you’re also a D-bag. Yeah, it’s cute that you have a pet monkey and the two of you go on adventures together. And sure, our hearts melted a little bit when you stole bread and gave it to homeless children, but we can’t overlook your other D-bag behaviors. All Princess Jasmine wanted was someone down to earth, relatable, and trust-worthy. What she ended up getting was a fake sultan, a liar, and thief. I totally believe that Jasmine would have found Aladdin way more intriguing if he was honest with her from the start. Didn’t he see what we were seeing when they first met!? What would make him think she needed a SULTAN or a PRINCE after telling him she ran away to escape that lifestyle?! Aladdin, do you even have a brain?

2. Simba

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Simba, don’t get us wrong–we love lions–but you’re annoying AF to watch. We literally watched you not only ruin your life, but the lives of those around you.

Your father, THE Mufasa, literally raised you to be a strong and level-headed leader. He told you that you were the king of everywhere the light touched. He told you to protect your pride and to look after your mother. But what did you do when times got tough? YOU CRIED, RAN AWAY, AND NEVER RETURNED. It was your responsibility to stand up to your uncle and his little trolls to take over what was rightfully yours. But no. You ditched your squad and made your mother and BFF/lover believe you were dead. What’s worse is you weren’t dead, were you? NO, you were practically on vacation with prey. Simba….you need Jesus.

1. Prince Adam AKA Beast

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The Beast AKA Adam (does anyone call the Beast “Adam” anyways?) is hands down the worst. Besides looking terrifying, he legit took hostage of not only Belle and her father, but his entire staff! He knew that he wasn’t the only one under a spell. Instead of eternally freaking out that he was ruining the lives of like 50 workers, he stayed indoors and sulked all day (while also being angry). Hey Beast, here’s a hint: if you need to find true love so that you can be free of this curse (along with your workers), then why didn’t you host some sort of ball? Have all the guests take a look at that damn painted portrait and be like “hey ladies, give me a chance, and this is who you could be with…” Did he do that? Nope. He later takes Bell under his wing, treats her like dog sh*t, and she somehow falls for him. This is one D-bag, we’ll never understand.

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