Some dogs are just bad at being dogs (but they’re still good dogs, of course). Whether they’re epically botching a game of fetch, falling flat on their faces (snouts?) in a game of chase or using the stairs like a slide (because why not?), these dogs just don’t seem to live by the rules that other canines do. Whatever it is that leads these dogs to so epically (and adorably) fail at representing their own species, we’re certainly grateful for it, because it’s pretty hard to beat the cuteness of a derpy AF dog. And if they’re anything, the following 15 dogs are most certainly derpy AF.
15. Oh! What a pretty, glistening stick! I think I’ll just try and—GAHR!
We’re not exactly sure what this pup was going for, but we sure are glad he did. From the looks of whatever is going on in this GIF, this little doggie was trying to grab the water stream, perhaps mistaking it for something a little more solid that would hold his weight and not send him toppling, snout-first, into the pool. But to his chagrin, rather than the long, glistening stick this dog seems to have thought the water stream was, it was, well, a water stream. And after trying to clamp his lil’ jaws around it and finding there was nothing to clamp said jaws around, he took a dive into the pool, epically failing and even more epically winning our hearts at the same time.
14. I cans nots balls
If there’s one thing that dogs are usually good at, it’s fetching balls. But this lil’ girl can’t even seem to do that right. A little too short to grab the ball from the sofa in her jaws outright, this little pupper first reaches for the ball with her paw, manages to pull it close enough towards her that she can nip it, then proceeds to epically fail in her grab attempts not once or twice, but a whopping six times. Her snub-nosed little snout just seems to be incapable of properly executing the simplest of doggy hobbies—biting a ball. And it’s hard not to feel for her as she watches with big, puppy dog eyes (literally) as the ball rolls back into the depths of the sofa, out of reach forever.
13. Is that a treatz I seez?
Want a quick laugh? Okay, you’ll need two things: a dog and some winter booties. The steps? First, put the booties on the dog. Second? Sit back and enjoy the show. Dogs just don’t seem to do well with things on their feet, flailing like newborns to try to free their paws of the death traps enclosing them. We’re not exactly sure why pups react so strongly to booties— maybe they just prefer the feel of the carpet between their toes, John McClane style, or perhaps all dogs are huge fans of hobbits and just can’t imagine betraying their fandom by wearing shoes. Whatever it is, this tendency of pups makes for some pretty hilarious walks in the snow that’s sure to ease any wintertime blues.
12. Run, pupper, run!
Oh, this little pupper is relatable AF. Most people who have had experience running on treadmills have fallen victim to a fail like this at least once in their lives. One minute, you’re galloping like Bambi, and with your music drumming out a sick beat in the background, you can’t help but feel epic AF. The next minute, you’re getting shot off the back of the treadmill like a flailing cannon ball. Hopefully, you’re at home, with no witnesses, but sometimes, such fails occur at the gym. Or, your old gym, because there ain’t no way you’re going back after that. With this lil’ guy, it looks like he got close to escaping his fail-fate, managing to perch his front paws off of the mill. But then, it all goes wrong, and he’s propelled backwards and booted off, tumbling like a gymnast and just managing to stick the landing. Well, at least he wasn’t at the gym. The only people privy to his mishap are… well, the entire internet.
11. Got me rocking side to side
This little guy seems to be missing the point of a treadmill. Or maybe he’s just trying to build his gluts. Whatever it is he’s doing, he sure looks peaceful doing it, with his face serene AF as his behind works it. From the leash hanging above him, it looks like his owners might’ve secured this lil’ guy on the treadmill as a substitute for taking him on a walk. So maybe his rebellious little half-walk is a way of telling his lazy owners off. Poor guy. Then again, maybe his owners aren’t lazy at all, and this pupper’s just trying out a new dance move. The back and forth of his behind looks a bit like a doggy grapevine. Add some Marvin Gaye in the background and he’d be a regular doggy Twitch.
10. Face palm… or face ball
With clumsy humans, we tend to blame a lack of hand-eye coordination. But when dogs can’t seem to properly orient themselves in the world, it’s seems to be more of an mouth-eye coordination kind of thing. This little girl is a perfect example. You’d think that a dog would be able to catch a ball. Or at the very least, if she missed, you’d think she’d be able to not catch it in a way that it wouldn’t smack her straight in the eyeball. But this little girl can’t even seem to manage that, with the thrown ball epically missing her wide open mouth and careening across her face. Ah, we’d say she got close, but that would be a blatant lie, and puppers deserve the honest truth. You need to work on your mouth-eye coordination, lil’ girl.
9. The sandiest of face plants
In their eager excitement to do all fun things right now, dogs like to rush into decisions and as a result, are fairly prone to epic fails. But to their credit, they usually don’t miss a beat afterwards. With humans, after we faceplant, we tend to take at least a moment or two to wallow in our shame, whether we dash down a side hallway and wait for the blush to fade or laugh along with our coworkers and pretend to think our mishap was hilarious too. But either way, we certainly feel the awkwardness of our social slip up. But with dogs, they just don’t care. Take this little guy. After epically face planting in the sand during a carefree run, he barely misses a beat and gets right back up, resuming said carefree run without a second thought. Oh, to be a dog.
8. Downward dog, literally
Boy, this little guy seriously needs to work on his doggy door skills. It’s a pretty simple process. Stick your nose in the door. Put a paw through. Pull a second paw through. Bring a third one through. Slide the last one in, and there you have it—you’ve braved the terror of the doggy door and you’ve safely entered the house. But this pupper seems to have missed the memo. We’re not exactly sure how he managed to get into this awkward position, but we’re definitely sure we love him all the more for it. But hey, maybe we’re jumping to conclusions. This pup could just be taking some me-time and trying out a new yoga position. It’s definitely reminiscent of downward dog.
7. So close… except, you know, not at all
Aw, at least this little girl tried. Watching the bone intently, you can just tell how excited she is about this game of fetch. In fact, if you listen hard enough (or take a page out of our book and down enough wine), can almost hear her internal monologue—”You’re going to be a good girl, you’re going to fetch that bone, you’re going to fetch the living daylights out of that bone!” And oh, she tries so hard, following the bone up into the air… and then missing so, so very hard. And not only does she miss, but it seems like her entire body goes limp with the failure. After the bone falls to the floor, epically uncaught, she follows suit, flopping backwards like a rag doll (rag dog?) and seeming to contemplate the decisions in her life that led her up to that moment.
6. Hot dog, failed dog
This dog ain’t hot at all. But at least he gave it a hearty go. It looks like his owner decided to give him a hot dog for dinner (that sounds just cannibalistic enough that you paused for a second, didn’t you?), tossing the sausage into the air for the pupper to catch. But this lil’ guy needs to work on his fetching skills. As the hot dog careens towards his mouth, seeming to be set for a hole in one, this pup somehow manages to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory (literally) in the last second, epically missing the sausage at the last possible moment. He goes in for a second try before the sausage hits the ground, but manages to epically fail at this one, too.
5. Not in the moneymaker
This dog doesn’t seem to know how to play frisbee. The whole point is that you catch it, lil’ guy. But he doesn’t seem interested in that, more concerned with scrunching his face into as many wrinkles as possible as the frisbee bounces off his neck. But hey, maybe we should give him the benefit of the doubt. It’s entirely possible he didn’t see the frisbee coming. It’s bright purple, so it’s totally feasible that it blended in with something of equal bright purpleness in the dog’s line of vision. Perhaps Barney the Purple Dinosaur was in front of the pupper, preventing him from discerning the fuchsia frisbee headed straight towards his face. Or it’s possible that this doggy had bad experiences with flying saucers as a pup (aliens don’t just experiment on humans, you conceited hominid).
4. At least he tried
This little puppy doesn’t seem to know how to catch a ball… or how to jump. As his owner throws a soccer ball towards him, the pup leaps into the air, seeming intent on clamping his lil’ puppy jaws around its squishy, soccer surface. Not only does his snout manage to go nowhere near the ball at all, but the pup seems to lose control of his leap midair as well, tilting sideways and tensing up for a botched landing. And a botched landing it is, with the pup landing back-first and bouncing off the ground like Flubber. Plus, for the icing on the cake, the soccer ball bounces right into him, planting a nice bump on his head as the little guy lands.
3. What is this strange device?
This pup was just minding her own business, trying to play with Fred, her ball friend, when out of nowhere, a cheeky little doorstop decided to sucker-spring her in the face. The pup is unsurprisingly surprised, staring at the doorstop in confusion to try to figure out what she could have done to provoke such a senseless attack. But the doorstep just stares back, unapologetic and offering no explanation for its provocative behaviour, leading the dog into even more confusion. With a cock of the head, the offended doggy continues to search the doorstop’s actions for meaning, but to no avail. The doorstop continues in its arrogant ways, ignoring the pup’s pleading. Poor little girl. Doorstops will be doorstops, Sally. At least now she knows.
2. Walk much?
You can tell how excited this little girl is to greet her owner as she gallops full speed ahead into the room, careening towards her master with eyes full of wonder and anticipation. But then, everything goes sideways, literally, as she somehow slips, going head over heels and sliding across the hardwood floor like a Red Shell from Mario Bros. (if that reference is lost on you, you need to go play some video games). We’re not sure how exactly the pup managed to botch a simple gallop so hard (in her defence, maybe the floors were freshly waxed), but we’re sure glad she did. Luckily, the couch is there to cushion a large part of her landing, and she pops right back up to greet her owner as if nothing happened. #OnlyADog.
1. The easy way out
C’mon, don’t pretend that you haven’t dreamt of going down the stairs like this. This dog was just shameless enough to actually go through with it. Walking down the stairs like a normal pup was just too boring for him, so it looks like he decided to try them out as a slide instead (because why the F not). And he’s met with surprising success, given that he’s using a series of rectangular protrusions as a ramp. As he hits each successive stair, he somehow manages to maintain a graceful glide, only flipping in the wrong direction at the very bottom of the stairs. Frankly, he makes the whole thing look easy, so much so that we’re pretty darn tempted to give it a go.
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