15 Epic Times Rocket Raccoon Was Crazy AF (And We Loved Him For It)

There’s just nothing like Rocket Raccoon, except Rocket Raccoon. Hey, if you don’t believe us, just ask the wise-cracking, gun-toting fur ball yourself. Just don’t blame us for what happens to you for questioning the little guy.

Since Rocket’s brief first appearance in the pages of Marvel Previews #7 in 1976, the character has gone through some major changes on his road to becoming the lovable wisecracker we all fell in love with in Guardians of the Galaxy. While Rocket wasn’t always a major player in Marvel comics, his appearances were always unquestionably bat$&%t crazy. From getting drunk with Tony Stark to battling his rabbit arch nemesis to even teaming up with the Hulk to battle killer space clowns, Rocket Raccoon’s life is ANYTHING but typical.

15 That time all of his ex-girlfriends wanted to kill him

Via: 4thletter.com

Rocket Raccoon can pretty much handle any threat thrown his way, but what does our favorite trash-talking fur ball do when he’s targeted by something even scarier than hostile space aliens? Well, when that threat happens to be a small army of angry ex-girlfriends, it turns out he runs like hell.

During Rocket's countless travels across the galaxy, the smart-mouthed raccoon managed to smooth talk every kind of woman you can imagine. Who knew Rocket was such a ladies man? Unfortunately, these relationships didn’t always end well, which lead to Rocket's ex-girlfriends banding together to shoot down his space ship. Luckily for Rocket and Groot, they managed to escape into the blackness of space, dodging the wrath of these vicious exes. Well, for the time being, anyway…

14 That time he teamed up with the Hulk in space

Via: screenrant.com

Since the 2014 release of Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket Raccoon has become a bonafide household name. Before that, though, he had only made a few significant appearances in Marvel Comics. One of his most notable appearances came in the pages of The Incredible Hulk #271, where the titular green monster teamed up with Rocket on a completely bizarre space mission.

What did Hulk and Rocket team up against, you ask? Well, a group of vicious bunnies and killer clowns, of course! Watching The Hulk and Rocket fight these ridiculous villains in space is '80s Marvel bizarreness at its finest. Following the buzz of his highly acclaimed appearance, the fans were eager for more Rocket. Luckily, they wouldn’t have to wait long, as he was given his own solo miniseries shortly thereafter.

13 That time he guarded the mentally ill on Halfworld

Via: screenrant.com

Take one look at Rocket Raccoon and you’ll realize that this fur ball didn’t come from the planet Earth. Rocket Raccoon is actually from a planet called Halfworld (get it, half human, half anim—okay, you probably get it), and he wasn’t just any run of the mill citizen. In fact, Rocket was part of a legion of other animal hybrids designed to protect the general population of the planet from the growing number of mentally ill “loonies.”

A gun toting raccoon taking care of the mentally unstable? Yeah, that sounds like a greattttt idea. As it turns out, Rocket Raccoon did his job pretty well. He was even given the title of “chief law officer” and maintained order over the growing number of lunatics that inhabited the Halfworld.

12 That time he became the leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy

Via: tylerkirham.com

Rocket Raccoon may be the smallest member of the Guardians of the Galaxy in terms of his stature, but he certainly isn’t when it comes to his fortitude. After Star-Lord found himself trapped in the negative zone by Ronin the Accuser, the Guardians were left leaderless and directionless. The team was on the verge of disbanding, that is until Rocket Raccoon decided to step into the leadership role of the team.

Rocket made several executive decisions as the leader of the Guardians, most notably deciding to add his good buddy Groot to the roster. While Star-Lord would eventually make his way back to the team (because it just wouldn't be the Guardians without him), Rocket would go on to become a reliable second in command whenever his help was needed.

11 That time a Beatles song inspired his creation

Via: deviantart.com

The legacy of the Beatles has left an unforgettable mark on pop culture and music, but who would have guessed that a few of their song lyrics would inspire a whole sub section of the Marvel Universe? Rocket Raccoons creators, Bill Mantlo and Keith Giffen, were so infatuated with a song about a “cowboy named Rocky Raccoon” that they created the beloved character, Rocket Raccoon, has an homage.

The Beatles would not only inspire Rocket’s name, they would also be used as inspiration for many things that inhabited Rocket's world. His second appearance in Hulk #271 was even titled “Now Somewhere In the Black Holes of Sirius Major There Lived a Young Boy Named Rocket Raccoon,” which was a direct reference to the Beatle lyric, “Now somewhere in the black mountain hills of Dakota / There lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon."

10 That time he and Tony Stark got a little drunk in space

Via: reddit.com

Tony Stark AKA Iron Man has been a part of several superhero teams, but his brief stint with the Guardians of the Galaxy ranks up with the best of them if only for his hilarious interactions with Rocket Raccoon. These two characters seem like they were tailor-made to be on the same space ship getting into trouble together. That’s exactly what happened when Rocket used his expert mechanical intellect to assist Tony in modifying his Iron Man suit. Of course, this isn’t a project the duo would tackle without a few adult beverages in their system.

Seeing these two interact will make anyone yearn for an Avengers/Guardians of the Galaxy cross over movie. Luckily for us all, the two will perceivably share some screen time together in the highly anticipated Avengers: Infinity War.

9 That time Rocket and Groot were made into a TV show against their will

Via: watchdisneyxd.com

In what may be one of the most ridiculously meta and strange comic book stories Rocket has ever been a part of, he and his best buddy Groot found themselves captured and placed in a universe where they were forced to fight villains they had previously defeated. That all might seem pretty normal by comic book standards, but when the duo learned that this was all being broadcasted on a television show, things started getting really weird.

There was narration, credits and even advertisements for collectible action figures. You could even collect five different figures to build your own Groot! Sound familiar? Eventually, though, Rocket and Groot were able to break out of the confines of the television universe. Hey, is there any way we can get a copy of that show on Blu-ray?

8 That time he turned himself into the intergalactic police

Via: gonnageek.com

Skottie Young’s take on our favorite wise-cracking, gun-wielding raccoon was equal parts hilarious and gorgeous, so it only makes sense that the writer/artist would have the opening moments of Rocket Raccoon’s first ever solo series involve him saving an imprisoned princess and taking her to a wrestling match (because that’s what you do on a first date). This wasn’t just any wrestling match, though, as Rocket's buddy Groot was one  of the participants in the ring.

All their fun was cut short when Rocket found himself being chased by space police for murders he had never committed. The twist came when Rocket learned that another identical raccoon was actually impersonating him, but this wasn’t just any raccoon, it was Rocket’s EVIL TWIN. This baffled Rocket, as he was under the impression that he was the only one of his kind roaming the galaxy. More on that later...

7 That time he got a job as a mail clerk

Via: marvel.com

Rocket Raccoon isn’t all bang-bang, pow-pow all the time. Sometimes even the craziest armed creature in the Marvel universe needs a little break. Following the death of Star-Lord (I think we may be sensing a bit of a theme here), the Guardians decided to break up. Rocket took it one step further, giving up his space adventuring all together. So what do you do when you want to distance yourself from galaxy guarding? Why, you get a job in a mailroom, of course.

As you can probably imagine, Rockets attempt at holding down a “joe job” was short lived, as he was subsequently fired for killing a space clown while on the clock. Shortly thereafter, Rocket returned to where he belonged, traveling through space and kicking some butt while doing it.

6 That time he had a rivalry with Cosmo the space dog

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If you asked Rocket Raccoon, the Guardians of the Galaxy only have room for one anthropomorphic being on their roster. No wonder he got a little pissed off (well, more pissed off than usual, anyway) when Cosmo, a talking space dog from Russia, became the liaison to the Guardians of the Galaxy. As the Guardian’s liaison, Cosmo guided the team through some of their more treacherous travels from their headquarters back on Knowhere.

The tensions between Rocket and Cosmo really reached its peak when Cosmo was accused of letting Skrulls (shape shifting creatures from space) aboard the Guardians headquarters. While the pair has shared a fair amount of tension, their unique commonalities (they’re both talking animals, duh) have created a mutual respect between the two—even if they’d never admit it.

5 That time he had an evil clone

Via: marvelwiki.com

Remember when we told you that Rocket Raccoon had an evil clone? Well, we were kind of telling you a little white lie. That mysterious clone that had framed Rocket for murder unzipped himself to reveal that he was actually… a rabbit! Not just any rabbit, though. This Rabbit was Blackjack O’Hare, and he was one of Rocket’s first arch rivals dating all the way back to the 1980s.

Despite being mortal enemies, the two have quite a bit in common. They’re both bad ass animals who commonly find themselves in all sorts of nefarious positions, but after Rocket Raccoon stole one of Blackjack’s biggest pay offs, the evil Rabbit swore revenge on our favorite ornery Raccoon. Unfortunately for Blackjack, he would need much more than an elaborate revenge plot to best Rocket.

4 That time he teamed up with his sworn enemy

Via: comicvine.com

Remember when we told you that Blackjack O’Hare (the Rabbit who had framed Rocket for several murders) was Rocket’s sworn enemy from the very beginning? Well, we kind of forgot about the time that the pair teamed up together to fight a formless evil space monster called “The Red Breath.” The Red Breath’s threat of wiping out anything it came in contact with was so severe that Blackjack and Rocket had to put their differences aside to protect Halfworld.

One of the most sinister threats to besiege these anthropomorphic beings' little sub section of the universe was eventually vanquished (because how could it stand a chance up against a rabbit and a raccoon?), and Blackjack O’Hare and Rocket would quickly go back to hating each other, making everything feel right in the galaxy once again.

3  That time his girlfriend was an Otter (because, of course she was)

Via: alexcoopscoop.com

At this point in the list, you’re probably not too surprised to learn that Rocket Raccoon’s girlfriend was once an Otter named Lylla, but believe us, it’s going to get even stranger. Lylla the otter isn’t just any anthropomorphic creature; she is actually the heiress to a huge toy empire on Rocket’s home planet of Halfworld.

Of course, Rocket wasn’t the only one with heart eyes for Lylla. Judson Jakes, a mole who also happens to be an inter-stellar mechanic, lusted for Lylla, too. When she denies Judson the opportunity to be her boyfriend, the mole kidnapped and trapped her on his gigantic space station. Rocket manages to fight off a never-ending pack of killer clowns to rescue Lylla, but this wouldn’t be the last time Judson Jakes would be a thorn in Rocket’s side.

2 That time he met a pair of Raccoons from Earth

Via: lasertimepodcast.com

After helping the X-Men battle the Shi’ar Imperial Guard on Earth, Rocket Raccoon encountered something he had never encountered in all of his many travels across the galaxy. Hilariously enough, that something happened to be a pair of Earth raccoons. Despite his surprise upon discovering two creatures that were nearly identical to him (well, aside from their lack of guns and murder and stuff), he was even more shocked to learn that this pair of raccoons weren’t wearing any pants!

Rocket was pretty disgusted by these two Raccoons lack of modesty, and he decided to leave Earth shortly thereafter. It’s probably better for everyone if Rocket stays clear of the planet Earth, at least until all the trash pandas start wearing pants.

1 That time he talked $&%t to Thanos

Via: comicvine.com

Thanos has been defeated countless times, but with every one of those defeats came a resurrection. Unfortunately, the team that got tangled up in Thanos’ newest revival happened to be the Guardians of the Galaxy (lucky them). On this particular resurrection, Thanos was released from a cocoon that had been confining him for some time. Upon his release, Thanos went crazy, seeking to destroy anyone in his path. Unfortunately for Star-Lord, he just so happened to be that someone, and Thanos nearly killed him in the first moments of his revival.

Right before Thanos was about to deal the killing blow, Star-Lord’s fellow Guardians of the Galaxy team member Rocket Raccoon stood up to Thanos in a big way, threatening the Mad Titan (who has an eternal love for death) with Eternal life. It just goes to show that Rocket will talk $@&t to just about anyone, even if that someone happens to be one of the most powerful beings in the universe.

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