There is nothing more heartbreaking and awkward than a breakup—nothing! We spend days, months and even years, giving a part of ourselves to someone else. We let our partner know us inside and out, dreaming of a future that we can see vividly. It's life-changing. And when that relationship ends, it feels as though our entire lives have ended.
No one wants to see a lover become an ex, but it happens. And when it happens, we just hope that it can be an amicable breakup (and that we won't have to deal with petty or unnecessary behavior). But, if it does happen, let's just hope you handle it like these exes because they shut their exes the F down and it's hilarious!
15 Pizza, always pizza
We think Benjamin Franklin said something like, "Pizza, always pizza!" OK, he didn't really say that, but we're sure if he had an ex crawling back to him undesirably, he would have said the same thing. Because let's be honest—it's much wiser to listen to your stomach than to your heart. Our hearts are often stupid with making life decisions, but our stomachs ALWAYS know's what we need to survive (pizza, always pizza!).
We're sure this guy was expecting a reply that said something like, "I think about you every day as well! Wanna get back together?" We wish we could have seen the look on his face when he received this unexpected reply. Was he ashamed or shocked? Was he mad? Did he break out in laughter because, well, it's really funny? We'll never know, but oh, the mystery...
These three little words can hold so much emotion and meaning. We often base our life decisions off the hope that we will hear these words from someone we care about deeply. It's a reassurance that our feelings are reciprocated, and we can fly off into the sunset together (just like in a romantic comedy or storybook fairy tale). But things happen, life happens and what was once love can often turn to hate or disgust quite quickly.
For some, saying "I love you" is just as easy to say as it is to walk, talk or even eat. It's something they say because they feel like you need to. And when that happens, the words lose all meaning, just like it did for this gal! We applaud her for having the best clap-back to an ex! Dude, she wants to unsubscribe from your bull ASAP—move on! Take your sad lines and try them somewhere else; they don't work here no more!
13 Jesus is my homeboy
For many people, it's not so obvious that after a breakup, you're supposed to disappear from each other's lives. For some, it's difficult to cut ties, to let one another go and truly move on. And if that happens, you may just want to consider letting Jesus intervene.
Despite your religious beliefs, you have to admit this response is pretty clever. Nothing is more politically incorrect, hilarious and perfect for this situation. It's the most polite rejection, ever! We think this ex knew exactly what she was doing when she sent this reply. By saying, in an indirect way, "Yes, I do still hate you...bye!" she was also able to give this guy a holy image. Now, anytime he thinks of their last communication, he's going to think of Jesus. And hopefully, he'll think twice about his actions.
12 You're FIREd
Dude, it's been three weeks! THREE WEEKS! And you decide to text your ex, late at night, with an "I miss you" text. Seriously? What did you expect her to say? Did you think your pathetic, "I'm cold," excuse would suddenly warm her heart? You can't tell us that you were stupid enough to think she would reply with something like, "I'm sorry that you're cold, let's cuddle and warm each other up! ...because I miss you too." Please tell us you were just drunk and sent one of those, pathetic late night, booty-call texts. Oh wait, that's not better because both options are unnecessary and douche-y after a breakup (especially, if you have no real intention of mending things).
We are seriously applauding this girl. Not only did she shut her ex the F down, but she did it perfectly! We can't imagine he expected this reply but hopefully, he got the hint and moved on.
11 Three-minute man
Missy Elliot had it right when she sang, "Ooh, I don't want, I don't need, I can't stand no one minute man." It's hard enough loving a one minute-man, but it's worse when you can't get rid of that one minute-man. You know, after a breakup. After you've made it perfectly clear that 'ain't nobody got time for that!'
No one likes a late-night booty call, especially from an ex-boyfriend. Many of us will ignore the late-night text messages, thinking it's better to pretend that we're sleeping, or too busy to answer. But, this gal knew exactly what she needed to do. She needed to shut that &*%$ down and she did! The fact that this guy simply replied, "Wrong number. Sorry," tells us that he'll think twice about doing this again. Now, if everyone could give this lady a slow clap, that would be awesome! She deserves it, doesn't she?
10 When words aren't enough
For many, receiving an "I miss you" text is the stuff dreams are made of. Some part of us, where our hopeless romantic side resides, has unrelenting hope that one day, our prince will come back and we can live happily ever after. You know, like a real-life personal fairy tale. But for some of us—those with exes who have no business crawling back into our lives—the whole notion is quite similar to a nightmare (a really, really bad dream that we want nothing more than to escape from).
Sometimes, words are not enough. They often don't quite convey our disdain or shock, or utter disappointment. But thankfully, the technological world has caught up to our emotions and in the last few years, given us emojis and GIFs for such occasions. And this reply may just be our favorite!
9 The nudist
Why do men resort to unnecessary nudity in times like this? What part of "We're broken up" means "Please, please send me nudes of you! That's exactly what I want to see, my ex-boyfriends ding-dong on my phone?" Yay! How exciting! Yeah, no...
If we could give one piece of advice to all the men out there it would be: PLEASE STOP! Seriously, please stop doing this! We don't like it. We really, really, really don't like it. And quite frankly, it's not attractive or the least bit alluring. It does NOT make us want you. It does NOT make us crazy with the need to have you RIGHT NOW! However, it does make us want to kick that area very, very hard. So please, save us the time and save yourself the humility and just don't...ever!
8 Confidence booster
Oh, the narcissism that exists out in the world today still blows our minds. It's hard to believe that these people still exist. We mean, aren't they extinct by now? No? Wishful thinking, we suppose.
It still boggles our minds that there are people out there that believe they were the best thing that ever happened to you. That somehow, you're just not hot enough or smart enough, to get someone better than them. Many of these people often think that you don't have any other suitors. Like you were lucky to have them because no one else wanted you or desired you. To all those people, follow this as advice! If you receive a similar text from your ex, reply like this person did because it's absolutely perfect! Not only did this person shut the ex down, but also made a point that life has continued on without them. It doesn't get better than that!
7 See you later, Satan!
There is absolutely no better way to end a conversation with an ex than something like this! The last thing you want to do is engage with your ex. You don't want to give them a line that allows for them to keep talking, rambling or spewing their bull. It's better to stop whatever conversation they have conjured up in their mind before it gets to that "point of no return" mode.
If your ex texts you, you may want to really pay attention to this text...especially if you do NOT want to talk to your ex. Don't engage with them, but do let them know that you are not having it. And by that, we mean, completely shut them down! By using a GIF and calling her ex Satan, this lady made it 110% clear that she wants no part of whatever he is about to sell to her. Shop's closed bro, move on!
6 Smooth operator
Come on girl, 12 months? It took 12 months for you to send this text? Why? Did you really miss your ex, or just want to add some much-unneeded drama into your life? Maybe you JUST now realized that the dating pool out there consists of many, many losers? And maybe you thought, "Heck, I'll just go back to my awesome ex! I'm sure he's still in love with me!" Were you bored? Did you sense that your ex moved on and you thought it was the perfect time to come in and mess things up for him, again? Ugh!
We could not be more proud of this guy! Not only did he let his feeling be known, but he did it in a clever way. Our only hope is that this ex backed off and took her whiny regret elsewhere.
5 Obsession overload
Sometimes, humor is the best remedy. Sometimes, it just takes too much energy to be mean or vindictive, or to even ignore an outcry for attention. Sometimes, we need the humor to keep us focused and light-hearted, no matter how stressful the situation can be.
We love what this ex did! Like, we really love it! She could have easily answered: "Because I don't want you knowing about my life," or "Because you're no longer a part of my life and don't have the right to know." But, she didn't. She could have easily ignored the message, making her ex think that she also blocked his number. But, she didn't. Instead, she decided to use a popular and hilarious line, from an equally hilarious movie. And let's be real—this is the best response that she could have sent. Get the hint bro, it's over!
4 Can't keep a promise
We all know that words can be overrated at times. Many of us are unable to articulate to others how we're exactly feeling, or what we truly want. Words may not be enough in some situations. We may rely on images, such as emojis or GIFs, to convey all the things that we are feeling but cannot say. And that's great! But, there is another sub-group that exists here—a group that believes silence is golden.
This ex decided to perform the ultimate act of humiliation. Despite not responding to his texts, she did make it very clear that she wants no part of what he's selling. And by humiliating his actions, for all the world to see, she hopes that he will get the hint and stop. But will he? Usually guys like this never get the hint, but we guess time will tell.
3 No pointing necessary
Did this guy really believe that by talking about his b*ner, that he could get his ex back? Like, seriously? Did he really think that his ex was going to be so turned on, so flattered, that she was going to drop everything and run into his arms? Also, how can you "think" you love someone? If you "think" you love someone, chances are, you don't! Chalk it all to a f*&$ boy that just wants to get laid, and has no other resources other than to message his poor ex-girlfriend.
We love how this ex responded. She played into the game for a moment, stringing his emotions along just long enough to get him excited—to make him think it was actually working. But just in time, she shot him down with one of the most amazing responses we have ever seen. You go, girl! We got your back!
2 No, just no
We all get to that point in our lives where there are no other words to use other than "no." No, we do not want to engage with you. No, we do not want to deal with your bull. No, we do NOT have time for this. No, it's not going to work. No, no, no! Nope!
When you've been pushed to your core, when you have been tested time and time again, there are no necessary words to use. Well, except for one. It only takes one word to let your feelings be known. And for this ex, she bottled all of her anger, confusion and feeling of being fed up into one word: nope! Could you feel the complete disdain while reading this? We did! We applaud this gal for being short and to the point in her response, that's not always easy to do and she nailed it!
1 The musician
Maybe you don't quite connect with emojis. Maybe you don't find GIFs interesting or worthy of use, especially in situations like this. Maybe you prefer to use another art form, something a little closer to your heart...something like the wisdom that can only come from song lyrics.
Unfortunately, we are all not born with the ability to speak our minds or speak from our hearts. We're not all writers, poets or natural-born speakers. But, that does not mean you can't find the right words to speak your truth. Take, for example, this couple, who resorted to song lyrics to convey their emotions. And unfortunately, for one ex, it was not the song they wanted to hear. Definitely not the tune they wanted to hum, but you can't deny that it's a very, very clever way to shut your ex the F down!