Christmas might be the season of laughter and light, but it's also the season of epic fails and family awkwardness. Is it the pressure to have the perfect Hallmark holiday or the close proximity of relatives that makes us go a little crazy? Or maybe, it's the endless supply of rum and eggnog (I'm looking at you, Uncle Phil).
Whatever the reason, Christmas may not bring out the best in humanity, but it sure does make for some entertaining photos. So no matter how behind you are in your shopping, how thoroughly the cat has destroyed your tree or even how many times your credit card has already been declined, take comfort in the fact that you're not these people.
15 The dad who had to watch his daughters open sexy underwear
Remember the good old days when not EVERY moment of our lives was captured on camera? Remember when awkward moments like watching your kids unwrap underwear weren't posted online for all to see? This Dad does and he wants to return to that time IMMEDIATELY. He's probably wondering what happened to Lego, Barbies and Tickle Me Elmo. Come on, guy, watching your pre-teen daughters open lingerie is what the holidays are all about! We'll probably never know if it's the underwear, the girls' excitement about the underwear or the lack of vodka in the Christmas morning OJ that's made Dad so grumpy but it's probably safe to say this isn't his favourite holiday anymore.
14 The family who found this on their couch
And then, there's the family that came home from seeing Santa at the mall and found this guy lounging on their couch in all his...umm...splendour. What do you think? Wrong house or does mommy have some explaining to do? And why do we feel like he's confused between Christmas and Oktoberfest? Something about him screams beer steins and lederhosen, but we just can't put our finger on it (nor do we want to). Props for the effort though, right? Festive design shaved into chest and topped with a nice shiny bow, celebratory vest, green velvet ... something or other. Even his shoes are on point. We don't know whether to cringe or be impressed, but until we decide, we're gonna go with cringe.
13 The family with the inappropriate lights
"I said DECK the halls, Fred. DECK."
Nothing lets people know Christmas is coming like a penis-shaped palm tree, am I right? Supposedly, the first electrically-lit Christmas tree was created by an associate of the famous inventor Thomas Edison, and we're pretty sure this is EXACTLY how he hoped the tradition would evolve: with giant, phallic-shaped tropical plants lit up in front of the homes of decent people everywhere. Of course, it's not this family's fault that palm trees are shaped that way. They just wanted to liven up the neighbourhood with a little holiday cheer, is that so wrong? And if they haven't had "the talk" with their kids, this could be a great opener. "Well son, when two people are in love...."
12 The Christmas Creeper
Not even the holidays are immune from major advertising fails. Imagine this little girl's parents when they saw the finished product of the campaign. Do you think they had a Merry Christmas? This kid is going to have questions, lots of questions. Such as: "Why did they take a picture of that grown man spying on me from around the corner wearing only his underpants?" Don't get us wrong, he's a good -ooking guy and underwear makes a great Christmas gift (just ask the Dad above), but when this ad appeared in print, do you think anyone associated with it had a Merry Christmas? The tagline for this campaign might as well have been "D'Uomo: Proud to be scarring children and families with creepy adverts since 1974."
11 The family with the bad kitty
Guys, the cat has something to tell you. It seems he didn't want to be watched and reported on back to Santa. It seems he objected to the whole concept of an inanimate object spying on children then running back to Santa like the little narc that he is. Can't say we blame the cat here. He's made the ultimate sacrifice, after all. His dreams of tuna-flavoured Temptations treats, catnip mice and fuzzy little jingle balls in his stocking have been cut down and destroyed, much like the Elf himself (and the tree the cat is going to knock down as soon as he's done with the Elf). This cat might be SOL when it comes to Christmas this year, but we're pretty sure he thinks it's worth it.
10 The family with the melted dreams
Gather round now children, it's Christmas baking time! We'll just pop these cute, little snowmen cookies in the oven and... presto! We now have a festive representation of global warming. Or the walking dead. Let's see how these jolly happy souls and their button noses survive in a post-apocalyptic world populated with the undead! Let's see how tough they are then. But seriously, everyone could use a side hustle during the holidays, but it's important to know your limits in the kitchen. Maybe stick to the chocolate chips cookies next time.
9 The family who just wanted to bake some meringues
Okay, raise your hand if the Grinch gave you nightmares as a kid. Did anyone else find his evil grin and soulless eyes just a little too realistic? If you did, get ready to be traumatized even further because apparently the Grinch is alive and well and pooping in ovens! There was no joy in Whoville when these were done baking, that's for sure. Where's Cindy Lou Who when you really need her? Instead of saving her town, she should be saving this family's holiday guests from... whatever these are.
8 The family with this "tree"
Look at that tree! So lush and green, so festive as it sparkles with lights and twinkling ornaments. Smell that pine scent! Look at all those homemade decorations, hand-crafted by children with love, the embodiment of years of cherished memories. Look at... oops, sorry, wrong tree. Well, we guess we have to give them credit for trying, right? Maybe it's really hot there? Maybe the trees were all sold out? Maybe Dad has a really warped sense of humour? This could actually be a genius move, rigging up a fan to blow all the wrapping paper into the garbage. Maybe we're the idiots for not getting it. Slow clap fan family, slow clap.
7 The family with this tree
Speaking of trees, this one here is doing its best impression of how parents feel when the holidays are over and they realize the kids still have 10 days left of school vacation: exhausted, broken and lacking a general will to live. "Go on, save yourselves, I'll just lie here...."
Come on tree, buck up! Just put on a movie and make some grinch poop cookies. The kids will love it! And maybe next Christmas, you can get a job as a model advertising tree stands that ACTUALLY WORK.
6 The family who can't unsee this
"Attention Walmart shoppers. For the next 30 minutes we'll be rolling back prices on paper towels, diet Pepsi, canned salmon and... SANTA! NO!" Geez, is nothing sacred anymore? This is what happens when you leave seventeen year olds in charge of the night shift. And listen, if we had to deal with cranky holiday shoppers day in and day out we'd be looking for a little levity also. But when taking the kids shopping for those few last-minute items turns into a conversation about whether or not Santa should have been showing Frosty his bum, you know there's going to be a stop at the liquor store on the way home.
5 The family who'll never let Grandma cook Christmas dinner again
Remember the time we showed up to Grandma's for Christmas dinner expecting turkey with cranberry sauce, savoury stuffing, creamy mashed potatoes with gravy and pumpkin pie? Remember the time we got glazed pig instead? Taking farm to table way too far grandma, way too far. This family surely experienced epic disappointment followed by a creeping suspicion that grandma might have cooked her last holiday feast.
Also curiosity: where did she get that pig, anyway? And since Grandma doesn't own a smartphone and believes the internet is a fad, where did she learn to cook it?
4 The family who can't be bothered
In today's hurried world, most of us are used to settling for "good enough." Good enough parenting, good enough cooking and good enough housekeeping. But good enough wrapping? Seriously? Who doesn't have five minutes to fold some corners and slap on some scotch tape? And would a ribbon kill you? This gift has "my mom said I had to buy something for my little sister, but I hate her so this is what I did" written all over it. Actually, it doesn't have anything written all over it. Apparently writing is too much work.
3 The family who won't get sick from undercooked meat
Move over Martha Stewart. Eat your heart out pig-killing Grandma. Burnt to a crisp turkey is where it's at. Isn't cajun turkey the new jerk chicken? Isn't turkey jerky the.... okay, forget it. We've all been on the receiving end of a Christmas meal gone wrong, but this is truly criminal. What's weird is that turkeys are actually one of the easiest things to cook. Just remove the gizzard (eeeeeewwww!), baste, insert in oven, wait a bunch of hours, then enjoy. It's kinda difficult to screw up, so maybe they got busy singing Christmas carols, all gathered around the smoking oven. Come to think of it, The Burnt Turkeys is a pretty awesome name for a band.
2 The family who should have known better
Take them to the mall, they said. Get their first picture with Santa, they said. It will be great, they said. What parent hasn't heard those words? What family doesn't have the epic Santa fail photo on their mantle? The best part is that visits to a mall Santa always happen at the end of the shopping trip. They're the incentive for good behaviour leading up. "Stop hitting your brother with that baseball bat or you won't get to see Santa when we're done." Then, after hours of crowds, tantrums and long lines, the moment everyone's been waiting for finally arrives. Can't you just feel the joy and excitement? Pretty sure Santa's going back to selling cars after this.
1 The family with the dog who just couldn't help himself
Pets + Christmas = disaster. I think we can all agree on this. Chocolate, poisonous plants, weird four-legged creatures parked on the roof. There's no shortage of hazards and stresses for the family pet at Christmas, which is probably why this fellow decided he'd had enough. No one ever left him a plate of cookies, some raw carrots and a glass of milk. When he tracks mud through the house he gets in trouble, but when Santa does it, everyone goes crazy with excitement. Where's this guy's burnt turkey or poorly-wrapped gift? Guess he'll just have to go lie in front of the fan or go out and pee on the palm tree to get some attention. We feel you buddy, we feel you.