For some guys, attracting crazy girlfriends is like second nature. They don't heed the warning signs that spell C-R-A-Z-Y and before they know it, it's way too late. While it may have seemed cute, at first, when their girlfriend got mad at them for talking to another girl, now they're in for the ride of their life. Better move, change phone numbers and get the heck off social media or risk losing a body part.
What's worse is how some girls wear their crazy like a badge of honor. They know it's true, but are proud to wave the crazy flag. There's no other way of dealing with a man except to stalk them online, steal their phones and generally have them on a leash shorter than a hot dog. So, for all those affected by the crazy bug, here are 15 girlfriends who define the word 'crazy.'
15 The one who's always watching you
If you thought girlfriends who read your texts and emails were bad, that's nothing compared to this crazy girlfriend. In case you forgot that she's always watching you, she's made it so you definitely can never forget. Psycho girlfriends will steal your phone, change your wallpaper to their face and proceed to use 'Find My iPhone' to stalk your location. Then, they'll text "I'm watching you," over and over again, followed by threatening phone calls and voicemails, reminding you that if you're found talking to another woman, you're toast.
Let’s be honest—if it was anyone else, it would be pretty damn creepy. But you chose this person as your bae, so now you must deal with the crazy that comes with the cute. Or, you could just dump them and find someone a little less crazy, but then you’d probably be putting your life on the line. You made that bed and now you must lie in it.
14 Cackling like a witch over her own craziness
Here’s a breed of crazy you’re not liable to forget: the crazy girlfriend, who knows she’s crazy and thinks it’s hilarious. There’s something a little wrong with someone who laughs at you for not realizing how crazy they are. It’s as if they’ve just played a huge, horrible joke on you that you’ll never recover from (which is pretty much what will happen anyway). Crazy girlfriends revel in their own crazy and find an evil sort of pleasure at making your life miserable. This girl is probably cackling maniacally to herself like the Wicked Witch of the West, knowing that her boyfriend is right where she wants him—under her thumb.
These kinds of girls will control your very existence, down to the way you speak and look at her. It’s as if you’ve suddenly come under some witch-y spell and have to try extra hard to shake yourself out of it. But, surprise! You can’t shake her because she will stalk your a** 'til she grows tired of you or you die. Your choice.
13 Checking her phone 1,440 times a day
It's pretty much impossible to fool a girl who's going off the rails on the crazy train. She won't accept any of your excuses when she knows for a fact that you had cell service for at least a few seconds. If you could post that picture on Facebook, you sure as hell could text her at least once during the day.
In fact, she knows exactly how many minutes there are in a day and she can use that against you. You had 1,440 chances to text her, but no...you didn't have any cell service. Sure. It’s sort of like how she had lots of chances to murder you in your sleep, but didn’t take them until now. Now, she has been scorned for the last time. She’ll make you suffer for 1,440 minutes, just to prove how easy it could have been for you to just text her. Now that’s crazy.
12 "One week in" type of crazy
This kind of crazy is only cute when you're in high school, but even then, the charm only lasts for about a week. Looks like this couple is already a week in and the crazy meter has peaked. Crazy girlfriend has used car chalk to wish her boyfriend a happy one week anniversary, letting the entire world know how much they're supposedly in love. It's both adorable and a little sad. Someone should tell her that true love doesn't usually happen in the span of a week. That's called puppy love.
After her boyfriend sees what she did to his car, it's not likely they'll last much longer. Shameless declarations of new love are bound to get him teased and bullied beyond belief. The only problem is if she was willing to do this while they were dating, imagine what she’d do to his car if he was to break up with her. It’d be some Beyoncé “Hold Up” style of revenge up in there.
11 Don't play, Spoonhead
New levels of crazy have been reached with this text exchange. Not only is the girlfriend nutty for asking her man to prove he's at home by sending her a picture of a spoon on his head, but he actually does it to appease her. Doesn't he know he's just playing into her unique form of crazy? Look at how ridiculous he looks. How the heck did he even get the spoon to balance on his head like that?
Even after sending her the proof that he's at home, she doesn't believe him! Talk about paranoid. This girl clearly has some trust issues. He could've taken that photo yesterday? Really? In what universe would that even make sense? Like her guy asks, why would he have taken a picture like that yesterday? Unless, of course, she asks him to send her a photo like that every day. In that case, she's crazy and stupid.
10 Did you say, 'girl?'
Here's another example of a shameless girlfriend who's amused by her own crazy. She's recounting a conversation between her and her man that goes from zero to jealousy in t-minus five seconds. At first, it seems like she's casually asking where he is, but then it turns into something more sinister, as she asks who he's with. As he lists off his guy friends' names, he makes the mistake of mentioning that some girl is there, too.
No sooner has the first syllable been typed that she is calling his dumba** on Facetime. It's not hard to imagine how that conversation must have gone. She probably wanted him to show her who the girl was, so she could see if she's pretty or not. Then, she'd probably guilt trip him into leaving, by suggesting that he's trying to get with said random girl, even though he has never even seen her before that day. In that situation, all you can do is pray for mercy and remember never to utter the ‘g’ word in her presence again.
9 Just a friendly reminder to keep it in your pants
We pity the guy on the receiving end of these texts. He's being accused of talking to some girl named Laura, who was probably just liking a bunch of his posts on Facebook or Instagram. Crazy girlfriends need to chill over that sort of thing. Liking someone's stuff on social media does not equate to cheating. Besides, her guy can't control who likes his posts. He can only control what he posts (unless, of course, his girl has his login information).
Nevertheless, she shouldn't be telling him who he can and can't talk to. A sure sign of crazy is someone who claims ownership over someone else. Unless you're in some sort of kinky BDSM relationship, where one person's the master and the other's the slave, neither person should have that kind of control over the other. Likewise, guys shouldn't have their manhoods threatened over some imaginary scenario. No one wants to lose their appetite every time they look at an ear of corn or a hot dog. That's just not cool.
8 Every week is a goddamn anniversary
Again, this might have been kinda cute in high school, but that's clearly not the case here. For one thing, this girl has mentioned another guy and how it would've been their five year anniversary. So, unless she's a super senior, she's at least in college or beyond. That being said, we wish she was in high school because now these texts are just sad. How did anyone date her for nearly five years if she was counting every week? Unless it only lasted a few months and she’s still hung up on him, which is why she mentioned him and what would have been their five year anniversary (if they hadn’t broken up over four years ago).
What adult actually counts future weeks of being together with someone? It seems so desperate. As if counting them will ensure that they actually arrive. Sorry to break it to you girl, but judging by your guy's response, that's not likely to happen. You've just been branded as an overly attached girlfriend, which is a special breed of crazy.
7 Friend request stalker
There are so many things wrong with this message, it's not even funny. First of all, doesn't this girl have anything better to do on Christmas Eve than harass a friend of her boyfriend? Secondly, how does she even know that they're working close by to each other? Stalker much? Plus, the only way she could see that this girl sent him a friend request is if she was logged into his account. In which case, he better change his password, quick.
The best part about this is the mini backstory provided for this message. The girl who received the message put it up on Imgur describing it as follows: “Okay, so Sara and I work across from this guy, Westin. He's a nice guy and after a month we decided we were gonna add him on Facebook. Then, I start getting messages from his crazy ex-girlfriend who he recently broke up with.” Amber Nicole wasn’t even his girlfriend anymore, yet she was still acting possessive and jealous. Looks like this guy, Westin, dodged a bullet.
6 Crazy like Hitler
Jesus take the wheel indeed. Did this girl really go Hitler-level crazy on this guy? She asks him why he hates her, which is already a red flag and then proceeds to tell him that "hate is more lasting than dislike," a quote straight from the mouth of Adolf Hitler. How did she justify that? What possessed this girl to go there? Maybe the guy is Jewish and she said that to get under his skin. Looks like it worked, too!
Was that her way of telling him that he should hate her? He just got done explaining that this girl cheated on him, but that he only strongly dislikes her. It's quite a mature thing to say, especially in such a hurtful situation. Instead, she had to turn it around on him because dislike wasn’t a strong enough emotion for her. She’d rather have him hate her, which is a much more powerful feeling, than not feel like she’s worth hating.
5 You're too close
How could one photo have so much crazy in it? It's hard to tell if this is a joke or not because the guy's face is so serious. He looks completely and utterly defeated. All the light has left his eyes and all his dignity has gone out the window. He is actually wearing a t-shirt with his girlfriend's creepy bug-eyed expression on it and the words, "If you are reading this you are too close. I have a girlfriend." As if any guy would willingly wear this if he wasn't being threatened with lifelong celibacy and possibly death.
His crazy girlfriend obviously knows she's a little crazy and doesn't give AF. She's actually posing with him as proof that he has the shirt now and must wear it. Poor guy was probably hoping for a night out with the guys, but instead, has to reconsider his life choices and figure out how not to actually wear this out. Can you blame him?
4 Growing older by the second
Oh goody. Another crazy girlfriend who loves counting all the time she's been together with her boyfriend. In fact, she's so obsessed with how long they've been with each other, she's counted it all up down to the very second and is still counting it! All he can do is respond with bewildered-looking emojis, because clearly, this is not normal.
All she wants is for him to share in her excitement of not only being together for six weeks, but to gaze in wonder as they both grow old together by the second. There’s a truly exciting prospect. Who doesn’t love someone who reminds them they’re not getting any younger? She’s obviously very insecure about the relationship and probably has never had a relationship longer than a few months because of it. Still, that’s no reason to count every second of every day. Eventually, that would drive you crazy, but that's probably what she wants anyway.
3 Branded a fool
Wow. There are no words for this level of crazy girlfriend. This series of Facebook comments was only a portion of a conversation between a boyfriend and girlfriend regarding said girlfriend's unfortunate way of showing her love. According to TheCHIVE, these two were only together for a week, when the girl decided to get a tattoo of the guy's face on her arm. Apparently, he had designed something completely different for her to get, but she went with what she loved most—him.
The tattoo was supposedly her Valentine's Day gift to him after he paid for a spa trip for her. She unveiled it for all to see on Facebook, which is why this very private gesture turned public real quick. As crazy as it sounds, it doesn’t seem that far from reality. However, in actuality, the whole thing was a hoax by the guy in order to troll his own friends. The crazy girlfriend was never real, but to be honest, her comments (while crazy) are still totally relatable. Haven’t we all felt, at some point, that a guy wasn’t as serious about us as we were about them?
2 Answer her calls or she'll never stop
While the previous crazy girlfriend story wasn’t really true, this one unfortunately is. In 2011, a Dutch woman was arrested for stalking, after calling her ex-boyfriend over 65,000 times in one year. She had multiple phones on hand (probably because he blocked the number as soon as he realized it was her), which were all confiscated upon her arrest.
One of the articles about the woman broke down just how often she was calling, for those less skilled in math. She was calling him every five minutes, which equates to about 200 calls per day! Talk about a crazy ex! Why it took him over a year to report her baffles the mind. After a few days of that, most people would go a little nutty themselves. Also, why didn’t he ever change his number? Or was she that good at being crazy that she was always able to get his new number? Don’t be this woman, ladies!
1 Property of a controlling girlfriend
Now, here’s a case of crazy that just screams adolescence (thankfully), but we all know it doesn’t necessarily have to stop at age 18. A devoted girlfriend, who was soon to be separated from her boyfriend for a few days, made a series of embarrassingly clingy t-shirts for him to wear on his cruise. Instead of just passive-aggressively threatening him, she obviously intended to humiliate him into staying faithful to her.
What guy wouldn’t love wearing a pink t-shirt that says he’s gay when he’s definitely not or one that tells cute girls to stay away from him or his girlfriend will beat them up. That’s not emasculating at all. Poor guy. He’s probably going to have to take them with him, even if he doesn’t want to. When a girlfriend’s this crazy, she’s going to want pictures of him wearing them or there will be hell to pay when he gets back. Ditch her before the cruise and cut your losses, mate!