We love fast food. The convenience of being able to get an entire pizza or a double-decker cheeseburger with a side of fries in a timely fashion has got to be one of the best things about living in this day and age. Not only is fast food, well, fast, it's also indulgently delicious, and mega cheap. Like, how the heck are we supposed to say no to a 12-piece chicken nugget meal with waffle fries and a Diet Coke when we can get it in under five minutes, and for under five bucks? We can't turn that kind of deal down. We don't have that kind of will power.
But we're not going to lie to you. The fast food environment can be pretty negligent. The kitchens in chain restaurants are fast-paced. Things happen. Mistakes are made. Want to know what really goes on behind those swinging doors? Check out these 15 gross things that fast food employees did to food.
16 We'll have our Sprite at room temperature, thanks
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According to one Yelp user (a former fast food employee), he, "used to put a piece of ice in (his) mouth and spit it in the ice bin and then mix all the ice up." Thanks for the heads up, Yelp user! We had always heard that those ice machines were riddled with mold, after having never been cleaned properly. Little did we know that not only should we hesitate to use those machines, we should also be fearful of the ice itself.
And why? If you wanted a piece of ice badly enough to put it in your mouth, why would you spit it back out? It isn't called, "Ice, ice, maybe," okay? It's, "Ice, ice, baby." That means you should be super excited to be eating ice cubes (that's what that song is all about, isn't it?). Anyway, the takeaway from this fast food confession is to avoid the ice at all costs.
15 This is hygienic, right?
We can't blame this fast food employee. After all, that's a Wendy's Frosty machine. If we had access to one of those, we would be tempted to do this kind of thing, too. But then we would remember that this isn't at all hygienic. Eating Frosty straight from the tap may seem like a good idea—and if it was your own personal tap, you'd be free to do whatever you wanted with it. But this is a Frosty's machine in a restaurant. Innocent, unknowing customers are going to be served delicious frozen treats from that very piece of equipment. And that's just icky.
So if you want to dispense something delicious right into your mouth, stick with a can of whip cream or Cheese Whiz. They may not be as tasty as a Frosty from Wendy's, but at least you won't be spreading your disgusting mouth germs to other people.
14 We don't want to "taco" 'bout it
See, this is why you should always be nice to fast food employees. They're people, too. They work hard, day in and day out, to bring us the delicious, greasy, morbid obesity-causing foods that we all know and love. And you know? They aren't so different from us. Sure, they may wear a headset and ask you if you want to "super-size it," but they're just working this job to help pay for their college courses, and to help keep their kids in clothes. They're human beings, and we should remember that when we go to order our Value Meals. Also, if you're not nice to them, they'll drop your food on the bathroom floor. Blech!
If we're being honest, Taco Bell food always sends us running to the bathroom. It only makes sense that it comes from there. Even still, this is pretty bad. We think we'll stick to making our tacos at home, thank you very much.
13 One large fry, hold the insects
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Fast food joints are notorious for having bug and/or rodent problems, which is a fact that we all try to avoid remembering every time we walk into a KFC or a Burger King. Nobody wants to think that the food that they're being served came from a cockroach-infested kitchen. That thought alone has been the source of many fast food related nightmares for us.
Which is why we were especially grossed out when we read one former employee's recollections of her days working in fast food: "One time I found a bug in the french fries while I was scooping them out and my boss just told me to throw it away and keep scooping."
That's just not fair. Fries are the deal-breaker. If a joint has good fries, that's the joint we choose to patronize. What if this sort of thing happens at the restaurant we've been eating at? *Cringes*
12 You diabolical son of a—!
This Domino's Pizza employee (who was scraped from the bottom of the barrel, apparently) not only stuck cheese in his nose, but he and one of his coworkers also saw fit to pass gas on some sandwiches before serving them.
We have words for these kinds of people. Horrible words, spawned by terrible thoughts. We could say things about this loathsome deadbeat—things that you would totally agree with. But in the interest of not cussing some idiot out over the internet, we will refrain from saying those things. Instead, we'll take another approach.
What kind of heartless bastard does this to pizza? Like, we can understand how you might want to taint a person's food with your bodily funk. Maybe they were rude when they ordered their medium pepperoni pizza with onions. We can see how it would be tempting to get back at that person. But pizza? What did pizza ever do to you, you dirty, no-good, jerk?
This peach of a young woman thought it would be super hilarious and not at all immature to shape a pot of mashed potatoes into a . . . well, a breast. And then she decided to go ahead and lick it, because what else are you going to do with a boob-shaped mound of mashed potatoes? #Classy.
Like pizza, mashed potatoes are an innocent, well-loved food. They aren't bitter and gritty, like spinach. Nor are they gaggingly-sweet and runny like creamed corn. Mashed potatoes are the best side dish ever, hands down. They're special, and we all love them. Only a heinous, heartless scoundrel would do something like this to a side dish as good and pure as mashed potatoes. We hope her boss fired her ass for posting this picture to the internet. She should consider herself lucky if she wasn't run out of town for this stunt.
10 Porno? How about Porn-no
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One anonymous fast food employee had this disturbing confession to make. The poor guy or girl was a co-manager of a popular fast food restaurant chain in California. After forgetting to bring his/her paycheck and sweatshirt home, (s)he turned around to go back to work. But when (s)he got there, strange lights were coming from behind the counter, back in the kitchen.
Now, we know what you're thinking. Aliens. But no. Oh, no. You only wish it was extraterrestrials. No, it was this poor person's co-manager, filming a three-way porno with the owner of the building. And, as if that wasn't enough, the three wannabe pornstars were, "using the sauces for unspeakable things." We'll leave it to your imaginations to decide just what those "unspeakable things" were.
Um, who would want to see a porno shot in a fast food kitchen? Do deep fryers turn people on? We're confused. And hella grossed out.
9 This one made us do a spit-take
This is precisely the thing that we fast food restaurant patrons fear the most—having some disgruntled server hand us a jumbo-size sweet iced tea that they had spit into. This is also the number one reason why you should always, always, ALWAYS be nice to fast food employees. It's because, if you're a major jerk to them, they will get even with you. And you will never see it coming.
When you work in fast food, you see things. You witness the very worst that society has to offer. Fast food workers are often treated with impatience and disdain. Dealing with rude, ungrateful customers everyday for years can wear you down. It can do things to your brain, which is why stuff like this happens. Fortunately, by being nice to the men and women who work at the local McDonald's, we can prevent our food from being tainted with someone's spittle.
8 What a handsome man
Can you believe that this guy got fired for taking this picture? Like, calm down, Greg, the manager of Burger King. It's not like Weird Hair William was slapping fly carcasses onto Whoppers before wrapping them in tissue paper and sending them out of the drive-through window. Gosh, he was only doing what any fast food worker worth his/her salt should do, and that is to try to keep clean (and maybe he was smoking in the kitchen, but it was his cigarette break. He was only trying to kill two birds with one stone).
Yes, when it comes to running a first class operation, every fast food chain's first line of defense is their employees. Workers who are fastidious in maintaining good appearances, and who are polite and respectful to customers, have been known to *quadruple sales in certain instances.
*Note: We literally just made up a number that sounded good. No research was conducted.
7 Can you (s)not?
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Back in 1990, a Jack-in-the-Box employee was arrested on suspicion of "blowing his nose into a hamburger he served to a policeman." The twenty-year-old had been employed at the restaurant for less than a week when he decided to blow his nose into a bun. The gross young man emptied his sinuses onto one of the hamburgers served to two police officers who came through the drive-through. The unsuspecting cop who got the snot-burger took three bites before he noticed that something was wrong.
According to a coworker, prior to the incident, the employee had stated, "That's what the cop gets." Of course, that's what he said before he was arrested and charged with suspicion of aggravated assault and disorderly conduct. He was also charged with adding a harmful substance to food. Bodily fluids spread germs, you know. People catch diseases via snot-burgers. That's probably why most fast food places don't put them on the menu.
Here's an idea: how about we all promise not to have sex in McDonald's freezers? In fact, we think we can actually improve upon that idea. Instead of promising not to make out in McDonald's freezers, what if we all vow never to have sex in a fast food joint? Not in the freezer, not behind the counter, not in the bathroom, and certainly not in the kitchen near the food. Yep, that sounds like a good idea.
What in the heck were those two lusty co-managers thinking, getting all hot and heavy in the freezer? Well, obviously, they were thinking that it would be a private place to cool down and, well, you know. But the point is that you should never get intimate with someone around food that is going to be served to the public. For so many reasons, not the least of which is because it's creepy and disgusting. *Shivers*
5 That's just downright mean
Granted, the lettuce isn't the most valuable player when it comes to constructing a Whopper. But it's still a fundamental part of any hamburger or cheeseburger. It's not as important as the mustard and pickles, and it's certainly not as significant as the meat and cheese. Even still, no burger is truly a burger unless it has a thin layer of shredded lettuce snuggled between the seasoned beef patty and the sliced tomatoes. As a member of Team Hamburger Sandwich, shredded lettuce should be treated with respect. It shouldn't be trampled on by some mean-spirited kid working his first job at the local Burger King.
When you have a bunch of teenage boys manning the kitchen, you can bet that this kind of thing happens frequently. After all, teenage boys have a tendency to be less than mature. We bet lettuce gets stepped on and drinks get spit in all the time. Keep that in mind the next time you step into your local fast food joint.
4 Hella "fly" Philly cheesesteak
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One internet-using former fast food employee had another anecdote to share. The anonymous worker witnessed his or her boss do something truly disgusting. Without naming the joint he/she used to work at, this is what the employee had to share: "My restaurant chain temporarily had Philly cheesesteak sandwich. My boss was helping on the food assembly, swatted a fly, put it in the cheesesteak, and just wrapped it up. We didn't get a complaint."
Think about it, guys (that is, if you can do so without throwing up). The manager of a fast food restaurant, the very person who is supposed to ensure that the kitchen is clean and that all food prep meets sanitation regulations, killed a bug, then literally put it on some poor schmo's Philly cheesesteak. What is the world coming to? Furthermore, the former employee explicitly states that they had no complaints on the order. That means someone unknowingly ate a bug. That's so gross, it makes us want to cry.
3 What the taco hell are you doing!?!
We don't want to make you feel bad, or anything, but we have to say that if you think it's funny to "do things" to fast food ingredients before you serve them, then you are beyond the reach of help. Nothing can save you at that point. When you start licking whole stacks of taco shells and posting pictures of the event on the internet, you're too far gone.
Please just stop it. Stop licking taco shells. Stop spitting in drinks. Stop having sex in fast food freezers. Stop doing goodness knows what else to the food that you serve to people. It is too much yuck for us to handle. If you want to do gross stuff to food, do it on your own time, because once you put on that cap and apron, you have a duty to fulfill. It's your job to deliver the healthiest unhealthy food possible, not to take advantage of oblivious patrons.
2 But . . . what about all the germs?
B-but the sign in the bathroom says, "All employees must wash hands before returning to work." It says it right there, "must." It's not a suggestion. The sign doesn't say, "Hey, if you have time, would you mind running your hands under the tap for a couple of seconds before drying them on your slacks? Thnx."
This isn't some kind of game here, Whisper-using McDonald's employee. We're sure you're good at your job, but we know that your hands are covered in germs. After wiping down tables, pressing buttons on soda machines, and working the register, your hands are teeming with disgusting bacteria, just itching to infiltrate the immune systems of its next victim.
In short, please wash your hands. And please do it frequently. We aren't in any rush. We get that it's advertised as 'fast food,' but we will gladly wait an extra ten minutes if it means getting food that's prepped with sanitized hands.
1 Oh. Oh, no.
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Oh, no. Aw, geez. This is it. This is the reason why we have trust issues. All faith in humanity has been lost. We're leaving everything behind to become hermits. Bye, you guys. It was nice knowing you.
Okay, fine. We're not leaving. But we are giving up fast food. Back in 2012, one repugnant Taco Bell employee actually took a pee on an order of Nachos BellGrande, then posted a picture of it to his Twitter feed. The peeing moron was suspended for this idiotic move, and according to a local TV station, he was supposed to be fired.
Granted, the guy didn't serve the nachos to anyone. Even he said that would be, "too f*cked." He went on to try to justify his actions by saying that he did it in private, and that he threw the nachos away, but you know? We feel like that is a "piss" poor excuse for such a vile deed.