Show us one kid out there who didn't at one point or another have the dreaded bowl cut, bangs that got snipped about two inches too short or a hideous eighties mullet? We are willing to bet that every single one of you had your very own fashion disaster memorialized by photography courtesy of your loving parents. Hideous hair styles are basically a rite of passage growing up, you must endure at least one ungodly cut in order to enter adult hood.
The overwhelming majority of us grow up, learn from our past fashion faux pas and resolve to do better. Some of us though seem bent on holding onto ridiculous hair cuts even though our mothers are no longer trimming our locks over the kitchen sink.
We're all for freedom of expression and creativity, but these fifteen cuts are inexcusable, and also really hilarious. Is there anything better than falling down the internet rabbit hole of awesomely bad haircuts? Oh, we think not.
15 Part Grandma, part poodle
Dear friends of the internet: feast your eyes on the half poodle, half middle-aged woman and one hundred percent fashion disaster! The eighties called and they want their crap-tastic hair 'do back. We bet one hundred bucks that this woman's name is Cheryl or Debbie. How do you even get your hair to do this Cheryl-Debbie? Do you frizz it out and then just straighten the middle section? What is going on with the top of her mane? Is it shaved in that shape to get that perfectly round effect? This look is not ok, never ok actually, and someone needs to be held responsible for this styling travesty. Please someone give Cheryl-Debbie a make over and just leave this cut to the canines. This is really bad.
14 Rat tail game is strong
We didn't think we would ever say this...but please bring back the OTHER rat tail! All those times we thought the traditional rat tail hair style was the worst thing we had ever laid our eyes on, we never even dreamed it could be taken to the next level like this. Some devious, hair snipping devil out there took the notorious mark of trailer trash everywhere and created the rat body on some one's head. The human race really is demented and here is your proof. You can love animals and you can love rats, but you don't have to shave their image into your skull. If you have to flaunt your hillbilly style, please consider something more subdued. May we suggest a good old mullet?
13 Always highlight your best attributes
"Please cut my hair in a way that really highlights my perfect ears." Clearly her stylist has some issues with taking things way too literally. How is this puppy going up into a pony tail might we ask? We kind of want to see this girl try. Obviously some stylist out there thinks she is the most creative, most progressive stylist on the planet and was sure that this cut would land her in hair magazines across the globe. Sadly her aspirations are probably only going to get her fired...and maybe committed to an asylum. Hair cuts like this make us wonder if these artists of the mane should even be holding a pair of scissors. Clearly their mental health is in question if this is what they consider a winning look.
12 Always a winner
Winner, winner chicken dinner! This guy is so number one that he made sure his tic tac toe fade emphasized his all star status. Is this fad where you carve images and words into your skull ever going to disappear into the night? Sadly, we think not. You didn't win the game you know, your barber just put that there because you paid him to do so. He probably doesn't think you are a winner either. In fact he is most likely praying that you never tell a soul that he was the razor behind this masterpiece. What is the point of this? You already filled the game in. We can't even lie you on your side and use that hair-board. This is stupid. Thank goodness hair grows fast because this needs to fill in ASAP.
11 The ultimate hat hair
We will give him points for making his hair a handy tool to keep the rain out of his eyes, but otherwise this is basically the work of a mad man. We aren't sure who is more of a whack job; the guy who devised this gem or the guy who agreed to fashion it for him. Either way, this is weird. Did it not occur to this dude that if he needs to shelter his eyes, he could always just wear a hat! The great thing about hats is you can take them off when they aren't needed. You can't take your hair off. This hair also prevents you from sleeping on your stomach or kissing another person. It's very limiting in our opinion.
10 Just take a little off the top
One of two things happened here. Either this guy just didn't know when to stop with the snippers, or he attempted to cut his own hair completely blindfolded. Either way, this kid now has about two inches of hair on his forehead. Don't you wish you could have just followed him around town the day after this hair cut went down simply to watch people's head's snap back as they mouthed the words, "What the F*ck?" What is the point of those few hairs anyhow? People with OCD are dying over this tuft right now. The imbalance of such a hair trim is giving all type A personalities the shakes. Shave it off and set the darn world straight again will you please.
9 Never getting laid
Oh yeah, you are straight thugging with those locks and that chain. Stop it. You are fooling no one, suburban kid whose mother probably drops him off at school in a mini van. You look like a dorky swamp monster. We hope your parents outright refused to pay for these pictures, we know we would. We would also sneak into your room at night and snip those suckers off while you were sleeping if we were your mom and dad. This is about the most toolish thing we have seen on the internet today, and we work on the internet so that is saying a lot. Just stay in your room and listen to your emo-grunge music until you grow up a bit and start resembling a human being. Teens...ugh.
8 Give me all the mousse
There is so much going on here, and none of it is good. This guy barely has any hair to begin with, yet his stylist managed to fit three varying dos on his head all at once accompanied by sooooo much mousse. It's like he dipped his head in a vat of sticky goop and just went to town. Do you know who else does that? Preteens. Preteens are notorious for their overindulgence of sprays and lotions. Also reality star Kate Gosselin rocked this number once upon a time. That mom of eight used to throw down with her asymmetrical, pointy shits show for a number of years before she divorced her husband Jon and got herself some extensions, which were two of the best decisions that she probably ever made.
7 Little Tilda Swinton
Here we go again with another case of a teenager proving to us that human kind is headed for nothing but disaster and ruin. Also, we can not get over how much this teen looks like Actress Tilda Swinton. Something tells us that wasn't the look he was going for, most sixteen year old boys tend to shy away from twinning with middle aged women, but wow he nailed that doppelgänger. We have no idea how he got his hair to stay like this, but it is going to look so epic awesome once he steps into the wind or rain. How badly do you all want to rustle his hair up and then just take of running? You know he would cry. That is our basically our dream right now.
6 Big hair don't care
If this doesn't just scream teens of the eighties we don't know what does. Back in the decade of Aqua Net, perms and Def Leopard the bigger the hair, the better. If you could throw a few random wispy bangs in there for good measure then you got bonus points. It's a small miracle that any person who grew up in this decade still has any hair at all after all the chemical processing they subjected their locks to. The teens of the eighties single handled destroyed the ozone layer, but honestly it had to be done for the sake of fashion. Aqua Net is the only way to get your hair to stick up like this. They just don't make hair spray like they used to.
5 Every child's nightmare
This hair cut haunts just about every child's memory. No matter how great your mother was with the trimmers, there was always at least one foul hair snafu that got memorialized in that year's school pictures. Of all the great images of your childhood, for some reason, it's always this one that sits in a frame in the family room thirty years later. The worst hair trims never die. Every family dinner and holiday gathering you will be forced to gaze upon your mushroom mania and repeatedly answer your children in shame when they ask, "Mom, was that really you?" Parents really do have twisted minds. You know they think it sucks too and they just leave it up to watch you squirm. Seriously cameras be damned!
4 The Halo-Heck-No
Well, well well what do we have here? His face says "I'm a hard man so don't mess with me," but his hair says angel from the heavens above." Who chops their hair into a halo? This celestially inspired cut is beyond ridiculous and while this guy was probably trying his best to channel his inner creative genius, he failed miserably. We are truly interested to see how this gem of a hair style will grow out over the next six months. Those are some pictures that we are sincerely looking forward to. Friar Tuck needs to get right back to the barber shop and shave this hot mess right off or go buy a brown robe and some string. You can't have it both ways, bud.
3 The Bunny Rabbit Bad Boy
Yes we get it 'mon. You are a blunt smoking, reggae-loving hipster who wears his hair in dreads because you are nothing if not authentic. You are also white as bread, you probably live in the upper class suburbs and drive your parents' Prius. We are willing to bet that your mom and dad work white collar jobs while you do your best to hang out in the ghetto pretending you are street. You are bound to get your butt kicked at some point. No matter how many times you spin records in the basement of your parents' half million dollar home, you will never truly be dread-worthy. You get nothing but eye rolls from us. Please shave that junk off of your head. Bob Marley is turning over in his grave right now.
2 Bringing something back, alright
Um sir, we think there might be a sea creature massaging your scalp. This right here is precisely why middle-aged people should stay off of social media. They pull this jazz when they attempt to take a Tinder profile picture and it is almost always a nightmare. Every single thing about this image says, "I'm a creepster and no amount of showering will wash away the image of me trying to woo you." We feel dirty just looking at this. Listen, pal. You're approaching your golden years. Embrace the grey hair and the baldness and try to score some right swipes for you and the pet sea urchin that lives on top your head. In all seriousness, though, lose the mop on your head once and for all. It does the world no favors.
1 Game of Dumb
This prom-inspired hair style only works if you are an actor on Game of Thrones or if you are walking the catwalk in a Versace fashion show. In real life, it's a bit high maintenance and confusing. Granted, this guy's crown-like do is glorious-looking at first glance, but we aren't so sure it's something that lends itself to versatility. The braided halo is a one trick pony. It reminds us of every time we had some crazy challenging hair style created at a salon only to go home and never be able to recreate the magic. Braids are hard af and no matter how many Pinterest tutorials we do, it never quite looks half this good. This is not real life hair so just leave this silvery updo in Westeros or on the runway please.
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