Our country may be politically divided right now, but through it all, there's one thing that unites us: April the Giraffe. When the Animal Adventure Park started live streaming her when she started going into labor last month, it seemed like the whole world tuned in to watch her welcome her baby, because who doesn't love a baby giraffe? Unfortunately, though, she played us all, because apparently giraffe labor lasts a lot longer than human labor does.
Weeks of my life have been wasted on keeping my eyes glued to that live stream, waiting for April to finally give birth, and my patience is starting to wear thin. The good news? As always, the internet has had some of the best reactions to this phenomenon ever, and these memes will be hilarious to anyone who is as tired of waiting for this baby as I am.
15 When Someone Pointed Out This Important Idea
Okay, so we've all pretty much resigned ourselves to keeping an eye on this giraffe day in and day out until she gives birth, right? But what if this is actually part of a larger conspiracy? If April has a camera in her pen, can she see us too? Is she listening to our conversations? Has she tapped our iPhones? What does she want to know? What is she trying to do?! Okay, this meme has officially made me just a little bit paranoid.
Fortunately, April probably doesn't speak English since she's a giraffe, so chances are good that any information she gets from us would be of no use to her anyway. I just hope that if she is recording us, she deletes the footage as soon as this whole ordeal is over. Could get weird!
14 This Is All Just A Joke To Her
I can't help but wonder if April is aware that the entire world is trying to see her give birth and if she's putting it off on purpose. Maybe this is all a case of false giraffe contractions? She's probably in her pen, laughing her ass off at all of us for devoting this much time and energy to her. Maybe she was never even going into labor in the first place?! In any event, she doesn't seem to be upset about making all of us wait for her to be good and ready to give birth.
Then again, since women can't exactly control when they go into labor, I doubt that pregnant giraffes can either. I'll let April slide on this one, just as long as she gets this show on the road ASAP. I have things to do and I've put them all off in favor of staring at her!
13 Or Maybe April Played Herself
This is the saddest possibility of them all — that April is just trying to keep her man with a fake pregnancy and that's why the baby will never come. It might not happen a lot in the animal kingdom, but this kind of thing does happen in the human world every once in a while, so we shouldn't put it past her. If April's the kind of girl who will keep us all waiting like this, who knows what else she's capable of?!
However, it's actually hilarious at the same time... not that April has anything to worry about. We've seen the way that her giraffe BF Oliver looks at her. If that's not real love, I don't know what is. They're going to be the best parents!
12 We Could All Just Be On The Titanic
As exciting as the prospect of a baby giraffe is, how long can we all wait before we say enough is enough?! I, too, feel like Rose from Titanic. It has been at least 84 years since this live stream has started, and there's basically nothing to see except for a giraffe walking around and occasionally deciding to lie down. Oh, and sometimes she blinks. Sorry, April, but you're not the most entertaining animal in the world.
Rose did wait forever to see the Titanic again, and when she did, she dropped her necklace right back into the ocean. If Rose could do that, the rest of us can wait for this baby. But that doesn't mean I'm not still pissed at her for not sharing that door with Jack!
11 When You Have No Choice But To Turn To Google
Sometimes, you just can't sit there, staring at your screen, and letting the element of surprise do its job. You have to take matters into your own hands, because if there are no signs that April is anywhere near giving birth, that means you can tune in later and chances are you won't have missed anything. And judging by the speed this giraffe is going, it's probably safe to go charge your phone and grab lunch or something.
Plus, I think at this time of exceeding interests in giraffe, we've all learned a few things. You know, like when they give birth, it takes freaking forever. And did you know their newborn babies weigh about 150 pounds? The more you know!
10 When You Just Want Someone Else To Put In The Work For You
I don't know about you, but as much as I love giraffes, there's only so much of April I can take in a day. Sure, she's adorable, and it's the miracle of life and all that, but really, we're doing this all wrong. What we need to do is split up into shifts, that way when it's actually, legitimately time, we can all get an alert to our phones or something and start watching just as things are getting good and it's time to meet this calf.
So, yeah, someone just text me or something when it's time. No offence, April, but I have a job... and a life... and at some point, I need to get sleep. She can take all the time she needs, but that means I'm going to need to cheat a little bit at this.
9 Bringing Pinky & The Brain Back For This
This meme couldn't possibly be more appropriate — and at the same time, it reminded me how much I actually miss Pinky and The Brain. Day after day, it's the same thing: Work, eat, watch April. Then, you go to bed and start the whole routine over. Pinky and the Brain themselves may have been more about world domination than, you know, witnessing a giraffe give birth to a smaller giraffe, but I have a feeling they would approve anyway.
And now, the days and weeks are starting to run together because they are all spent looking at this damn giraffe. Every day, I sit and count her spots and wait for her to move or do anything remotely similar to give birth. Every day, I am disappointed.
8 And Also Golden Girls
Anytime a Golden Girls reference can be used in the real world, I am all for it, so this might be my actual favorite meme to come out of this whole #GiraffeWatch thing. If you watched the show, you know Sophia is known for her longwinded stories about her younger years in Sicily. Her stories are boring, they take forever, and she usually repeats them. Sound like anyone you know? Yep. We're all living it right now with this stream.
April, I know that bringing new life into this world is a complicated task, but if you could hurry it up a bit, I and the rest of the world would really appreciate it. And if Sophia were real, you two would be peas in a pod.
7 How We've All Spent The Last Month Or So
This whole ordeal began a couple of weeks ago, so we're pretty deep into this. I'm pretty solidly invested, and speaking for my friends who are also obsessed, I know I'm not the only one. At this point, I've wasted a lot more than March waiting for April. I've also wasted a lot of time... which I obviously would have spent watching Netflix instead. But there's always that chance she just doesn't want to give birth until it's not quite so cold outside.
Maybe that's the key. Maybe April is just waiting for it to be April and that's when she'll give birth. If so, we still have a while to wait, and I don't know if I'm going to make it. I may just have to watch the highlights on Youtube later. That's an option, right?
6 Waiting For The Birth Until You're Dead
Patience is not my strong suit (like, at all) so I'm really glad to see that the rest of the world agrees with me on this one. We probably will all be dead skeletons by the time this giraffe decides to put her hooves up and welcome her newest calf to the family, so there's a good chance this photo is an accurate depiction of what our collective futures will look like. Even the dog died while waiting, April. Even the dog.
This just goes to show that if you put a webcam on just about anything, people will watch — in droves. I mean, a baby giraffe is pretty exciting and all, but I still can't believe that so many people have taken such an interest in this... myself included.
5 Taking The Blac Chyna Approach
As a self-proclaimed Kardashian lover, one of my favorite scenes from Rob & Chyna last summer was Chyna dramatically screaming at Rob over the phone, asking him if he was texting women. Naturally, I was thrilled when I stumbled across this meme, which couldn't be more perfect for this situation. Although not even Siri really knows what's up, because this damn giraffe is taking her sweet time.
This meme is giving the Golden Girls one a run for its money at this point. I have never been able to truly identify with Rob's baby mama until this moment, because I would go full Chyna in a minute if it meant getting any kind of update on this giraffe.
4 If April Went On Dr. Phil
Let's say that April is faking this pregnancy for attention. Wouldn't a trip to Dr. Phil be totally warranted? He would be able to get down to the bottom of this in a minute, and then we could all continue going about our business without the stress of potentially missing her big moment. How beautiful would that be?! Maybe we can get him down to that zoo and see if he can figure out exactly why this girl hasn't given birth yet.
Clearly, April isn't faking, but it's still pretty funny to think about. And this Photoshop job is pretty well done. Considering my skills end with MS Paint, I'd say it looks like April is on the show for real. And who knows? Now that she's officially gone viral, maybe she will be.
3 When The Live Stream Went Down
If you've been watching April in all her glory as closely as I did, you probably panicked when the live stream went offline. I immediately turned to Twitter to see if anyone knew what was happening, and all I found were people who are also obsessed with this giraffe freaking out just like I was. The good news? The live stream is back. The bad news? This girl is still pregnant, with no signs of giving birth anytime soon.
But hey, at least we get to watch her again. How awful would it be if we all invested so much time for them to take the stream online just when things start to get good? The Animal Adventure Park would be on my shit list for good after a stunt like that.
2 Maybe She Just Doesn't Want Us Watching
I never stopped to think about how April was feeling — because I was mostly concerned with myself and how impatient I'm becoming — but this actually makes a lot of sense. If I was about to give birth, there is no way in hell I would ever want the entire world watching via live stream. What if she knows we've been holding our breath, waiting for her baby, and she's getting a little bit of the stage fright? I know I would!
Besides, even if she's okay with the total invasion of privacy, this lady is under a lot of pressure to perform. I mean, not only does she have to give birth to a baby that weighs almost 200 pounds, but she has to put on a show while she does it? Poor April!
1 And Did Anyone Stop To Think She's Miserable, Not Us?
Again, these memes are making me realize that nobody cares about April's well being nearly enough — at least, outside of her actual caretakers. This close to giving birth, she has to be one miserable giraffe. I mean, I've never been pregnant myself, but I know pregnant people and they've told me it isn't exactly the most fun experience ever, especially in those final weeks. April must be so uncomfortable!
Next time I feel like I just want her to give birth already, I'm going to remember that. But in the meantime, I'm probably just going to continue demanding entertainment. Couldn't the zoo hire someone to juggle near the camera or something?!