It's no secret that Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy do not get along. In fact, you don't even have to have seen any of the eight movies or read any of the seven books to know this. It's just a universal fact. However, a new and, frankly, hilarious trend on social media has just sent Harry and Draco's relationship in a whole new direction. This new trend -- a sidesplitting fusion of memes and fan fiction -- takes real characters from movies or what have you and creates fake dialogue between them for a good laugh. These fabricated exchanges between Harry and Draco are popping up all over the place and, even though they never really happened, they're too good not to share.
15 The scary parts?
For this quote, you have to truly appreciate the reference of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in this context. The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl debuted in 2005 as an action-packed 3-D movie that follows, you guessed it, Sharkboy and Lavagirl. It’s not totally unheard of for action movies to have a little hint of horror or romance – some of us would likely be lying to ourselves if we said action movies have never gotten us a little hot and bothered at one point or another. But what makes this incorrect quote so darn funny is the fact that this movie is rated PG. This movie is literally for children.
14 No hugs allowed
We can't think of one instance in the entire Harry Potter series where Harry and Draco share a warm embrace. I mean, just picture it for a moment: Harry takes Draco in his arms and the two squeeze each other tight in a moment of shared gratitude. Now, let’s get back to reality. The funny part about this one, like the first one, is that it references a show that is completely 100% different from the Harry Potter series. Community, an American sitcom from 2009, exists to make people laugh through pop culture references that ridicule on-screen clichés through parody. So, with that being said, this incorrect interaction between Draco and Harry is just a parody parodying another parody – trippy.
13 Typical Malfoy
Of all the fake interactions in this post, this is probably the one that would be the easiest to believe was real. It would be mildly difficult to believe Harry would give Draco a compliment about how nice of a guy Draco is. But we could maybe excuse that as a moment of weakness on Harry’s part because Draco’s reaction is so completely Draco. Maybe Draco is as bad as everyone makes him out to be but he certainly can’t let his bad boy reputation falter because Harry wants to express his gratitude. So, as we could expect Draco to, he responds to Harry’s touching compliment with the fowl threat of legal action and leaves it at that.
12 U up?
I think we can all relate to this one a bit more than we’d like to admit, and that’s what makes it hilarious. Harry goes out on the town with Ron, Hermione and, perhaps, Neville and Luna for some drinks at The Three Broomsticks. One butter beer leads to another and suddenly, the whole crew is feeling it a bit too much. They’re getting eyed by the bartender and are becoming a bit rowdy for comfort. Everyone whips out their phones to try to catch an Uber home, but Harry’s mind is elsewhere. Instead of opening the Uber app, his thumb wonders towards his text inbox where he types Draco’s name into the search bar. He thinks for a moment about the ramifications and decides that 1:30 AM is not too late to just see what someone is up to. However, Draco is clearly not about it.
11 You aren't special, Draco.
Those of us who have seen the Harry Potter movies or read the Harry Potter books are familiar with the Killer Curse, pronounced Avada Kedavra. This curse is said to have a 99% success rate with the exception of special babies like Harry Potter. However, this known fact of the wizarding world doesn’t stop Fake Harry from teasing Draco. Let’s pretend for a second that Harry Potter is just a regular old wizard dude named Harry Potter without any of this “chosen one” nonsense. Fake Draco could kill him, yes, but Harry uses this as opportunity to bring Draco’s self-esteem down a notch by pointing out the fact that many other things – like a dog or a dedicated duck perhaps – also have the ability to kill regular Harry Potter.
10 Should've seen that coming
This incorrect interaction between Draco and Harry is reminiscent of grade school. This little conversation has 11-year-old smartass written all over it, which is what cracks us up so much about this post. Flash back to their first year at Hogwarts. Draco and Harry are sitting in the Great Hall and, in an attempt to one-up each other, their conversation turns to being able to predict the future. Once Harry realizes he cannot, in fact, predict the future, he reroutes his plan to embarrass Draco by way of a quick slap to the face. All in all, this seems a bit on the predictable side but oh so amusing to imagine.
9 It seems like just yesterday
It seems like just yesterday that Draco and Harry were 11 years old making their way to Hogwarts for the first time in their young lives. Right off the bat, it seemed like enemies at first sight and, wouldn’t you know it, that’s exactly how it turned out. A little argument here, a little wand dueling action there and you’ve got yourself a couple of schoolyard rivals. But that’s all in the past now that they’re fake friends in this incorrect interaction. You would think it would take more than a night to put all of that behind them for the sake of friendship but we forgot that things are a bit different in the wizarding world.
8 The grass is always greener
It’s no secret that Harry’s childhood was not even close to enjoyable. The kid lost both of his parents before he even turned one. Then, he was shipped off to a branch of the family that didn’t want him. The Dursley’s fear and disgust for magic turned into a lifelong hobby of ridiculing and abusing Harry. For Heaven’s sake, he lived in a cupboard for the first 11 years of his life. Then, his upgrade was more like a downgrade into a prison cell – his “bedroom” had metal bars on the windows preventing Harry from escaping. If you really think about that one, it doesn’t make much sense considering they didn’t want him there in the first place. But hindsight is 20/20, including Harry’s memory of the thickness of the bars that held him captive. Apparently, this is enough to make Draco realize that a bit of emotional neglect paled in comparison.
7 You're not the boss of me
This incorrect interaction is another example of something I would completely believe came straight out of one of the Harry Potter movies. Sure, it’s a bit unrealistic to think of Harry saying bless you after one his mortal enemy’s disciples’ sneezes but Draco’s comeback is nothing short of predictable as far as his character personality goes. You can’t bless someone who doesn’t want to be blessed, especially when that someone have and always hate you to your very core.
6 Pinch me, I'm dreaming
In all honestly, we said before that wouldn’t think of any time in the series where Harry and Draco shared a warm embrace of any kind, and that goes double for butt touching. Regardless, this incorrect interaction sets us up not only for a silly visual but also fills that butt-touching void we probably haven’t really been longing for but are just now realizing that some butt touching might’ve spiced the series up a bit. This, like a lot of these other incorrect interactions between Draco and Harry, screams grade school innocence and we’ve decided that that’s just the way we’d like to have it.
5 He makes a good point
This one is a bit of a thinker. As sad as it is, fake Draco makes a really good point: Harry Potter’s friends and acquaintances did not branch out by any means. They all simply paired up and that was that. We have the obvious couples like Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, which we could see coming from a mile away. Then, there’s William Weasley and Fleur Delacour, Neville Longbottom and Hannah Abbott (a seemingly unimportant but still relevant member of the Potter tribe), and even Dudley ties the knot at some point. In fact, in all my research, what it comes down to is that nearly every single character in the entire series ends up married. So, not only would Harry not be able to introduce Draco to any of his friends who weren’t married to each other, he wouldn’t have any single friends to introduce him to at all.
4 Proof of God's existence
Just like we know for sure that Ron Weasley is a ginger and Hermione is half muggle, we know that Draco’s arrogance is just a cold, hard fact. Think back to all the blatantly rude comments Draco has made to not only Harry but many other members of the wizarding community. The majority of these insults are not only meant to bring others down but to make Draco look even better. And let’s not forget about the constant bigheadedness about his family’s status. He acts like the ground he walks on is blessed and all those around him should be bowing at his feet. There’s two things wrong with this though – he is bragging and not really for any good reason because no one likes him.
3 Jeez Harry, we already knew your childhood was bad but...
We’ve already discussed Harry’s horrible childhood. It’s not really a secret anymore. He was mentally and emotionally battered and smacked around on occasion. He was treated like a servant and given little to no respect as a muggle though he was regarded as one of the most important wizards of the magical world. With all of that being said, it’s not hard to pretend that Harry did dream of being an astronaut as a child. In all honesty, what kid doesn’t think about it at least once? What makes this incorrect interaction funny, though, is the fact that Draco agrees with him but nonchalantly, like that friend who doesn’t quite know their boundaries but still wants to contribute to the conversation.
2 Valentine's day is stressful, even for wizards
Ah, Valentine’s Day. For some, this day dedicated to love of all sorts can turn out to be one of the most romantic days of the year, or even in your life if your partner is super extra. For others, Valentine’s Day brings nothing but stress and anxiety attacks over planning the perfect day and buying the finest gifts out there. Here, we see one such case of V-Day panic. Fake Draco decides to buy Fake Harry some chocolates for Valentine’s Day – how sweet. Too sweet, in fact, as Draco cannot, for the life of him, figure out what kind of chocolate Harry likes resulting in the purchase of nearly 300 boxes of chocolate. A nightmare for some but something out of a dream for others.
1 Every fight in every romance movie ever
Okay, so maybe scenes like this in romance movies don’t happen quite like this but the back and forth between wanting to stay and wanting to go after a fight with a lover is a pretty common scene in movies nowadays. It’s so silly to think of all the arguments Harry and Draco get into throughout the series and then picturing those arguments ending like this rather than with a few snarky comments followed by smack talk behind each other’s backs. Not only that, but it’s downright goofy to picture Harry and Draco as a quarreling couple because they are so obviously not good for each other as life mates let alone friends.