For those who don't know what Grindr is, here's a short explanation: Grindr is an app (pretty much like Tinder), but with one small difference — it is meant for men seeking men. Gay, straight, or bi-sexual, Grindr is meant for men who want to be with another man. This app has six main functions: you can use it for dating, chatting, networking, making friends, relationships, and the most popular one — hooking up. And trust us, when you use this app, you get all kinds of messages and come across all kinds of profiles. Some are funny, some are cute, and some of them are just creepy!
I tried finding some of the most interesting profiles and conversations in order to make you laugh. So if you've never tried Grindr before, this article can be a little snippet of what it can be like.
15 This Guy Who Loves Putting His Foot In His Mouth
There's one thing you should know about Grindr and its users: you will see a lot of weird stuff on there. I'm not even joking! You will see so many weird photos, weird profiles... it's hard to put in words actually. Also, you'll quickly find out how kinky some people really are. You'll even be bombarded by dozens of weird fetish requests. For example, take a look at this profile above. What's going on there? I have so many questions: what's with that profile picture? Why is this guy's name "Google me, Bitch!"? Is he a celebrity? How do I Google him without knowing his name? And I'm not even going to comment his description. Why? Because I don't judge... Much. Well, sometimes, but not today!
14 When You Just Want To Eat Your Burrito Bowl In Peace
Even though Grindr is mostly used for hookups and casual sex, some people use it for different purposes. Some use it to find new friends, while the others use it hoping to find their Prince Charming. But then again, I have this guy here who just needed a quite place so he can eat his burrito bowl in peace because the Chipotle he went to is too crowded. How amazing is that? I kind of wanna be friends with this dude. I can totally relate to this. Is there anything more annoying than not being able to enjoy your food in peace? So why not use Grindr for what it was made for? Personally, this is a great idea! And who knows what might happen after the guy eats his burrito bowl...the two could hit it off.
13 Gotta Love Good Puns, Right?
Everybody loves a good pun, am I right or not? And not just any pun, the best kind of puns are, of course, sex puns! And believe me when I say that you'll see A LOT of them on Grindr. My personal favorite is, "A kiss makes my whole day; anal makes my hole weak." (ARE we allowed to say something like this?? Hahaha) Yeah, just let that soak in a little but until it registers. Isn't it so clever and so hilarious? But I have to give credit where credit is due and acknowledge how great the pun in the photo is. "I've taken more loads than a washing machine"... Who comes up with that? The point of this message is, if you ever see this in your laundry room or in a public bathroom — run for your life (unless you want to have sex with a gay guy, in that case, just wait).
12 Blame It On Siri...
You've all heard about a county called the Netherlands, haven't you? Or maybe you know it by its more popular name, Holland? Well, you probably already know that this country is one of the most liberal countries ever. For real, they were the first country to allow same-sex marriage, weed is legal there — people are open-minded AF (oh and Dutch guys are like, super hot, FYI). But even though Dutch people are so open-minded, you wouldn't expect them to brag about how often they fist other people, right? Good thing that's not the case in the photo above, just blame it on autocorrect and Siri. But, OMG, imagine how awkward it would have been if Siri somehow messed up a message that was meant for this guy's boss or his parents...
11 The Best Grindr Profile EVER
Does the person from this photo look familiar? Of course it does, it's the matchmaker from Disney's Mulan. You remember that scary lady we all hated, right? Even though it may seem like that's really her in the picture—or that the photo is just a screen cap from the movie—that's not the case. This guy decided to dress and put some makeup on so he could look like the matchmaker, and it really worked! He even has a matching description; "Look at all that dishonor!"
Oh, one more thing, in case you also use Grindr or some other dating app. If you don't get many messages or think you're not pretty enough, just remember that quote from Mulan, "My, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look, this one's late. But I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all."
10 When Your Priorities Are Not Sorted Out
Here we have a pretty awkward conversation, if you ask me. Maybe not awkward, but cringy to say the least. (Yeah, I know 'cringy' isn't a word, but it just fits.) As you can tell, this Grindr user was at the hospital visiting his friend who was sick. Well, sick is an understatement. This guy's poor friend has a brain tumor! So, what do you do when your friend, who has a brain tumor, is lying in a hospital bed? You visit them all the time, you talk to them, and you cheer them up just by showing up. You know, like what normal people do. But this Grindr user decided that it's the perfect time to get laid because he was horny AF while being around a severely ill friend? That poor sick friend definitely deserves a better friend, a friend who has his priorities all sorted out.
9 When You're Not The Brightest Bulb In The Box
Here we have an example of a person who is 100% narrow-minded, and racist AF.
So, this Grindr user messages a guy, asking if he speaks and understands English, because he "looks Chinese"... Of course, the guy spoke English, and was probably a native English speaker. But I have a question about the racist dude: does HE speak English? I mean, "Thought maybe an English problem" is not a complete and grammatically correct sentence, and nor is "But we all good." Seriously, what's happening with people? They need to stop acting like this and assuming things. We live in the 21st century! Even if the guy was Chinese, that doesn't mean he wouldn't understand English? Not to mention it was totally inappropriate to even mention.
8 What's Going On Here? (is this inappropriate?)
If you use Grindr, then you know that there's a lot of guys out there who are just so weird and only talk nonsense. Trust me, the things they say are so dumb and make no sense at all — it's tragic. I don't know whether they're doing that on purpose, because they're trying to be funny and original, or are they really that dumb. For example, this conversation here, what is that all about? How does one even reply to something as disgusting and out-of-the-box as this? It's seriously so ludicrous I can't even repeat it. If I were the guy on the receiving end, I would probably just send a bunch of confused emoji faces and hope that the person would elaborate on their unusual request. If not, then I'd be straightforward and would ask what that means, because, damn, I'm very curious (and I love lasagna).
7 No, That's Not Creepy At All...
To everybody who uses dating apps such as Grindr and Tinder, here's a warning: be very careful with who you meet because there's a whole bunch of weirdos and creepy dudes out there just waiting for their prey. Just take a look at this screenshot. Come on, that's not something you should write, even if it's just a joke. Just imagine if somebody sent that to you? Or something similar, like, "People with blue eyes are more likely to be killed than people with brown and green eyes." I just made that up as an example, I don't think it's true (I hope it's not true!). Messages like this scream, "I'm a psycho, stay away from me if you want to live." Why would this dude ever want to hangout with someone who dropped a line like this?
6 Grindr Is A Great Place To Look For Compassion
So, here's another example of how some people don't have their priorities straight (love the irony with the word 'straight' because this guy is gay AF). Somewhere above, we had that conversation between a guy who was visiting his sick friend in the hospital who had a brain tumor, but was super horny. And here, we have a guy who's grandpa passed away and after a long period of grieving (a few hours), he decided to go to Grindr, to find somebody to be there for him during this difficult time... NOT! He just wanted to get laid, he had probably forgotten that his grandpa passed away a few hours earlier. I don't know whether this is funny or if it's just downright pathetic. Okay, you're right — it's pathetic.
5 Nope, Not Creepy At All, Part II
So, remember how I warned you about creepy guys on Grindr? Well, guess what — I have found another perfect example of that. This guy sounds like a complete stalker, and that's because he 100% is. He just started messaging somebody, telling them how cute they are, how the person they're with needs a haircut, and how fast he's eating his sandwich! How creepy is that? I would not feel safe in that bar, or in that city! I'd block that guy, pack my stuff, leave the city, and never come back. Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but come on, these messages are super creepy and would make anyone feel uncomfortable. True, they could all be just a joke, but still, even if it's a joke, it's a pretty creepy one.
4 Messaging Your Dealer On Grindr - Bad Idea!
If you've ever tried weed, then you know the side effects it can cause. Depending on what you smoke and how much of it you smoke, you tend to feel a little dizzy and out of it — but in a happy-go-lucky sort of way. And, according to this Grindr user, some even get horny. I have a perfect example of that here. As you can see, this weed dealer messaged one of his clients, asking if he could do a certain sexual activity to him. And what the other guy replied literally made me laugh out loud. "Dude, come on, I buy my weed from you, don't make this weird" is the perfect response.
See guys, this is what happens when you smoke weed — you embarrass yourself. I really want to know if the guy will change his dealer or if he'll stay a loyal customer, regardless the awkward messages.
3 That Awkward Moment...
If you use social media, such as Twitter, Facebook, or Tumblr, you might notice that people very often use the term "daddy" for attractive older men. Yes, I agree, that is kind of weird, right? And let's not even talk about how awkward and weird it is when somebody asks you if you need a daddy to hookup with, when your real dad is dead. Like seriously, daddy issues much? Take a look at this Grindr conversation because that's exactly what happened here. Speaking of these terms, don't you think that it's pretty weird how we called our loved ones "baby" or "babe"? Like, why would you use that term for someone you have sex with? The first thing that pops in my mind when I hear that word is literally a tiny baby. We're all kinds of fudged up.
2 There Are A Lot Of Weird Guys On Grindr
This guy is one of those people you see on Grindr everyday... You know what kind of people I'm talking about. It's the racist douchebags who are not into different color skin tones than their own, different religions, and even different body types. Basically, they're not into anything or anyone that's not a mirror version of themselves. Jokes aside, it's more than obvious that this was just a profile somebody made out of fun or boredom, but still, it's pretty funny. But then again, what if it's not actually a fake profile, but we just don't know that? That would certainly explain a lot of things (for example, why Melania refused to hold his hand in public several times). It makes you wonder, right? Again, this is just a joke and no one should take it too serious.
1 For Real Tho, Not Everybody Is Cute And Funny
So, the previous photo might have been a joke, but unfortunately, this here is definitely not. As you can see, it's a screenshot of a conversation between two guys. One of them asked the other for a photo, you know, so he knows what the person he's talking to looks like. And the guy was about to send it, but then he asked whether it's okay that he's black. What the other guy replied made me cringe, yell at my screen, and left me completely shook. Apparently, this guy feels less of man when he's with someone darker than him... What kind of BS is this? This is literally the stupidest thing I've ever read, and I've read a lot of stupid things. It's people like this that are ruining the human race.