Nothing says summer like an enormous T-rex trying to eat Chris Pratt for lunch. And this summer, we're getting a whole 'nother round of dinos munching on our favourite Hollywood stars with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Although this is the fifth instalment in the series, it's kind of hard to get tired of movies about a theme park filled with man-eating dinosaurs. The Jurassic Park films have everything we movie lovers need: handsome hunks, leading ladies and enormous prehistoric reptiles set on making a meal of said handsome hunks and leading ladies. If that's not a recipe for success, then what is?
Here are 15 Jurassic World memes that made us laugh a little too hard.
Ah, Prattkeeping. Any nerd who's any nerd remember when this fad took over the Internet during the summer of 2015. Jurassic World had just hit theatres for the first time, and fans around the world were revelling in the awesomeness of Chris Pratt's velociraptor trio. And noticing for the first time that Dallas Bryce Howard looks a lot like Jessica Chastain. And wondering why anyone would decide to rebuild a park that had already ended in disaster three freaking times. But mostly, people were just obsessed with those aforementioned velociraptors.
In previous movies, people had loved the velociraptors even though they were the bad guys, but this time, they were kind of on the side of the humans, making them even easier to love. Chris Pratt's character, Owen Grady, was something of a zookeeper for dinos, raising the three velociraptors and developing something of a fatherly relationship with them. So, when someone fell into the pen of the dinosaurs and they proceeded to move in like wolves on a chicken, Pratt's character jumped into the ring and starting dino-whispering, holding the three raptors off and preventing them from dining on his friend.
Inspired by this scene, zookeepers everywhere posted pictures of themselves "Prattkeeping." Although this particular zookeeper looks a heck of a lot like Pratt from behind, it's pretty hard to mistake those three bored-looking chickens for bloodthirsty dinosaurs.
14 Run, Bryce, Run
Bryce Dallas Howard was pretty darn impressive in Jurassic World. She went toe to toe (high heeled toe, to be specific) with an entire park of raging dinosaurs while wearing a skirt and stiletto heels. At least Owen Grady had a motorcycle, but Bryce's character was tromping around in heels in the forest for a good part of the film—and she's back in those heels for the sequel. You'd think her character might have learned to pack a pair of spare runners when visiting the park from her experiences in the first film, but it seems she has a bit of a soft spot for those high heels. And we kind of get why.
They suit her character's backstory perfectly. As a high-level executive at Jurassic World, Bryce Dallas Howard's character was out of touch with the more animalistic side of the park, immersing in the business-related dealings of the enterprise without getting her hands (or feet) dirty. But the malfunctioning of the park forced her into the park, a world that she wasn't used to dealing with. So, having her running around the park in high heels is a good way to juxtapose her backstory with the reality of the park. Plus, given the speeds that girl can reach in those heels, there's not really any reason for her to take them off.
13 You'll never be this cool
Let's face it. No one will ever be this level of cool. Even if you're a freaking secret agent driving around the French Riviera in a Ferrari with a pair of Aviators on, you aren't this level of cool. Nothing in the world as we know it allows anyone to be this cool, because dinosaurs just don't exist. Even if you were riding a Harley Davidson with a pack of lions trailing behind you, you just wouldn't quite be this cool, because lions just aren't dinosaurs.
The cool factor of an extinct man-eating reptile come back to life is pretty darn hard to match, even by the king of cats.
But unfortunately, we aren't likely to be seeing any dinosaurs in the real world anytime soon. Given how many times most people have seen the idea of reinventing dinosaurs end in disaster (AKA, all five Jurassic Park movies), we kind of doubt we'll be in a situation in the near future where humans can ride motorcycles next to velociraptors. It's kind of like Terminator. Now that we've seen how the world could unfold if we put the fate of the world in the hands of robots, it seems like people are exercising a lot more caution when it comes to inventing AI. As awesome as it would be if humans could reinvent dinosaurs and coexist peacefully with them, we just can't see that happening anytime soon. So, this level of cool will only exist in the movies for now.
12 What it's like to be a parent
Well, we're not parents, so we can't really say whether this is true or not. But we could certainly see it being true. From everything we've heard about parenting, it's a joyful thing, but it's as taxing as it is joyful. After all, children are a lot more than cute. Sure, they've got those big, adorable eyes and their feet are freaking tiny (like, how did they get so tiny?!). But they also like to cry—a lot. And once they grow out of the infant stage, you've got the terrible twos. Then, they're pretty cute for a while, until the teenage hormones kick in and they decide they're cooler than you. Maybe having kids isn't quite as taxing as fending off three velociraptors would be, but we could see it coming close. Few things can get in the way of a hungry toddler that's got her eyes set on the cookie jar. You can try and stop her, but chances are you'll just be bowled to the side as she walks right over you. And when your teenage son wants a ride to see a band at 11 at night, you'll basically be branded the antichrist if you say no. So, maybe facing off with bloodthirsty reptiles isn't so far from the truth of parenting.
11 Eat a Snickers
So that's what went wrong with the park in the original trilogy. The park wardens just hadn't given that angry T-rex her meal of Snickers yet. Amongst the numerous whole cows and horses they were probably feeding her, that tiny little chocolate bar probably just fell to the wayside. It's an easy thing to miss, but man, did they ever pay the price. There's nothing like a Snickers to calm a dino down, and in forgetting to feed this little lady her daily dose, they basically doomed the entire park.
Imagine what would have happened if the protagonists of Jurassic Park had just been facing off against Barney the Purple Dinosaur.
Instead of watching the pools of rainwater quiver as an enormous carnivorous T-rex searched for her next meal, they could have just sung nursery rhymes with Barney and climbed around playgrounds with a young Selena Gomez (yes, she starred in the show when she was younger). But alas, it was not meant to be. The Snickers was forgotten, and instead of Barney, we got a new icon of horror that would go on to make audiences shake as much as that pool of water for decades to come.
10 You had one job
Well, this guy really dropped the ball. When your entire job is supervising dinosaurs and the entire plot of the movie is a failure to supervise dinosaurs, it's kind of hard to pin the blame on anyone else. Sure, there are weak fences and yes, sometimes electronics fail. But if coordinating all of that and making sure it all works nicely fall's under your job description, you can't really blame malfunctioning technology or a faulty wire, because that's the stuff you were supposed to be keeping tabs on. Supervising dinosaurs isn't a cake walk, after all. They're pretty powerful beasts, so in order to stay on top of them, you've got to keep your eyes on a lot of different balls, from the state of the enclosures to the electronic system that keeps everything going. So, although it's probably best not to pin blame in situations like these, it's kind of all Phil's fault. Like, completely, entirely, totally his fault. Sorry, Phil, but it's true. Hopefully, they hire a different dinosaur supervisor for the sequels, but somehow, we have a feeling they'll be just as incompetent. Just a feeling. After all, having a Jurassic Park movie in which all the dinosaurs stay in line and no one gets hurt isn't exactly a recipe for a box office hit.
9 Tiny brontosauruses
When you love a franchise, you tend to see aspects of it everywhere you go. If it's Harry Potter, chances are you'll be calling every tree you see a Weeping Willow, and all steam trains in your vicinity will likely be deemed the Hogwarts Express. If it's The Lord of the Rings, every piece of jewelry you see will have the potential to put the fate of Middle Earth at risk, and New Zealand is probably your version of the Promise Land.
And if it's Jurassic Park, then pretty much any news item about genetically recreating a species lost to extinction feels like your own personal paradise.
If you ever visit a tropical island, you'll probably be checking over your shoulder to make sure no velociraptors are stalking you to the beach. Plus, if you ever get in a situation where you're looking at a bunch of whatever these weird little rat creatures are, you're probably going to mistake them for a tiny herd of brontosaurs at first. Heck, even if you aren't a fan of the series, you'll probably think these are a bunch of tiny dinos. Maybe it's wishful thinking, or maybe it's just that we'd much prefer a herd of miniaturized plant-eating dinos to a herd of anonymous rat-things, but at first glance, they're hard not to mistake for shrunken brontosaurs.
8 She's still got it
Well, it's kind of hard for a dinosaur to lose it, but we see where they're coming from. When Jurassic Park first hit theatres, the T-rex dominated pop culture for years. That iconic scene where the T-rex slowly approached and the water shook every time she took a step is basically burned into anyone who's ever seen the movie's mind. She was the centrepiece of the movie, the icon of fear that stalked people's nightmares for years to come, the reason most people check over their shoulders when an anonymous bump causes their water class to shake.
And, after two sequels and a break that lasted decades, she's still got it. Although it's a different dino this time around, the central dinosaur in the Jurassic World series is just as terrifying. Heck, she's probably even more terrifying given that she's been enhanced by genetic engineering. There's something about enormous dinosaurs intent on eating people alive that just never gets old. Time and again, no matter how many movies they decide to make, we have no doubt that the dinosaurs will never lose their scare factor. Even the cute ones that Chris Pratt is friends with are pretty scary when they get going. So, even when they're making Jurassic Universe in 2046, we have no doubt that whatever dino they choose to helm the series will still "have" it.
7 Jurassic Marvel
These days, it's kind of hard to find a movie that doesn't feature multiple Marvel actors. The thing with Marvel is that it's kind of like the T-rex from Jurassic Park—it's eaten up a lot of the greatest actors out there. From Robert Downey Jr to Cate Blanchett to Michael Keaten, a good number of the biggest Hollywood stars have been featured in at least one Marvel movie.
In the superhero-movie-dominated world that we live in, a better question to ask is who hasn't starred in a Marvel movie.
And even though there are still numerous actors who still haven't delved into the world of Star-Lord and Iron Man, as the Marvel Cinematic Universe continues to progress, that list will likely shrink. They're nineteen movies in, and the franchise shows no signs of slowing down. Sure, it'll be sad to see characters like Iron Man and Captain America retire after Avengers 4, but we have no doubt the Marvel movies will continue to thrive with superheroes like Black Panther and Spider-Man to rake in the big bucks at the box office. So, although Brad Pitt and George Clooney have yet to show their faces in a Marvel film, we wouldn't be surprised if they showed up in future Captain Marvel or Doctor Strange movies.
6 The different moods of mom
Everyone knows this to be true. Sure, our mothers are angels, but we've all seen our moms turn to the dark side every once and awhile, because we've all been those annoying little teenagers intent on breaking the will of our parents. That's just how growing up works. You're an adorable little kid that you're parents "ooh" and "aah" over until you're about ten, then suddenly you're one of those angsty preteens with equal amounts of attitude and hormones.
So, understandably, during the teenage years, mothers and fathers can both tend to get a little "T-rexy" at home. Instead of the gentle smiles our parents wear with family friends and when going to parent-teacher conferences, they go full angry dinosaur anytime our rooms aren't clean. After long days at work, it's kind of hard to keep your inner dinosaur from roaring a bit, especially when you share a house with hormone-filled teenagers who seem to care more about Nirvana and eye makeup than showing up to dinner on time. Although dinosaurs are scary, nothing quite compares to a parent that's reached the end of his or her patience. That's a person you just do not want to mess with.
5 We have a T-rex
Hmm. Well, as epic as it would have been to see a T-Rex roaring around the streets of Manhattan during the battle of New York in The Avengers, we kind of doubt it would have made much of a difference. Even with a Hulk, numerous super-soldiers and a guy who could fly around the sky while firing missiles out of his suit on their side, the Avengers still almost lost to Loki's army. Really, the only reason the Avengers won was that the authorities deemed their effort a lost cause and fired a nuke at the city, which Tony Stark successfully used to wipe out the aliens' mothership.
So, we kind of doubt having a giant dinosaur on their side would have helped all that much.
Sure, the T-Rex could have eaten up a few Chitauri on the ground, but let's not forget that most of the Chitauri were in the air on those little skidoo-type vehicles (yes, we've seen these movies too many times). Plus, T-Rexes aren't exactly controllable, as we've learned from the numerous Jurassic Park movies. Chances are, a T-Rex would have eaten as many New Yorkers as aliens if the Avengers had let one loose in Manhattan. Then, it would have been a T-Rex versus the Avengers— but hey, that sounds totally freaking awesome, so maybe bringing a T-Rex in on the action wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world.
4 Mother of dragons v Father of raptors
This would be quite a sight to see. Well, for a few seconds, at least. Then, all you'd see would be flaming raptors, and there wouldn't be much to get excited about. Sure, it sounds epic to pit dinosaurs against dragons. But if we think about it logically (which we've got to do when contemplating such important questions), there's really no contest. Dinosaurs are powerful when pitted against tiny, defenceless humans. But the thing with humans is that we're totally freaking useless. Sure, we've got decent-sized brains, but in terms of literally everything else, we can't do anything. Tigers can bite, cheetahs can run and whales can swim, but all we can do is walk slowly from one place to another and think about machines that might help us do it better. So, against us, dinosaurs are clearly the victors. But against a dragon, pretty much anything would burn. Breathing fire is kind of a trump card. Even if dragons are almost an equal match to dinosaurs in almost every other regard, the fact that they can spew fire out of their bellies makes them pretty freaking hard to beat—yes, even for raptors trained by the one and only Chris Pratt.
3 Dance-off to save the universe
Forget the whole "Prattkeeping" approach to stalling dinosaurs. This is how Owen Grady should have handled the three velociraptors when they were about to go full carnivore on that poor guy who fell into their pit. If Ronan the Conquerer from Guardians of the Galaxy was staved off by a challenge to a dance-off, then there's no way in heck three reptile-brained dinosaurs would stand a chance. Ronan was a first-class villain, complete with a giant hammer, a throaty voice and an evil plan that nearly devastated an entire planet. He was not only a genocidal maniac, but a pretty darn smart one. He knew how to get the job done.
Yet still, all it took was Peter Quill challenging him to a dance-off for all those years of planning to go down the drain.
Ronan was forced to watch slack-jawed as Star-Lord busted numerous cringe-worthy moves and Rocket managed to creep his way to a weapon, firing at Ronan and separating him from the Power Stone. If a dance-off with Peter Quill can stop a Marvel villain, then we have no doubt it would be enough to distract three little dinosaurs.
2 Baby Chris Pratt
Well, it's entirely possible, isn't it? We don't really know Owen Grady's backstory, and in the original trilogy, there wasn't much said about what became of that little kid. All we know is that, from the look on his face, he fell in love with velociraptors during his initial time in Jurassic Park. And as most of us know, our early experiences have a pretty huge role in shaping what careers we choose later in life. When you ask people why they chose the jobs they did, they usually have some sweet story from their childhood. With doctors, it might be how their family physician helped them figure out a tough family situation one time. With zookeepers, it could be some family trip to Australia where they helped nurse a sickly koala back to health. So, if someone chose a job in which they have to get into a pen with three velociraptors on a daily basis, you can bet they had some idyllic experience involving dinosaurs when they were younger. People don't just up and decide they're going to risk getting eaten alive on a daily basis for nothing. So, we wouldn't be surprised at all if Owen was actually just the adult version of this velociraptor-loving little kid.
1 Just stop with the frog DNA
It's always frog DNA, isn't it? When genetically engineering dinosaurs, you would've thought an animal closer to dinos on the evolutionary tree might've been used, like chickens or crocodiles. After all, when trying to recreate mammoths, it's elephant DNA that scientists used, not rabbit or duck genes. But the scientists at Jurassic Park seem to have a weird affinity for amphibian DNA. Sure, the DNA of frogs is certainly closer to that of dinosaurs than ours would be, but there are plenty of other animals to choose from that you'd think would be a much better fit.
But alas, with Wu, it's always frogs.
And given how well the dinosaurs turned out, it seems it was a good choice. After all, frogs can get up to a whole range of weird stuff. They can produce poisons that can wipe out thousands of people with a single drop, they can literally unfreeze themselves after cold winters and they can even embed their own eggs in the skin on their backs until they hatch (sorry for that imagery). So, when searching for DNA to use to enhance their dinosaurs with special features, we can totally see why they'd choose frog DNA. Put simply, frogs be weird.
Leave A Comment
Looking for an AD FREE EXPERIENCE on TheThings?Get Your Free Access Now!