There's this desire to believe that the older someone is, the wiser they must be. They've experienced all the ups and downs of life that they must have some sort of knowledge to impart on the rest of us. It feels doubly so when we're talking about a wizard who is over a hundred years old and deals with the world of magic all the time. It's a whole other realm of wisdom! But, really, the trope of the 'wise old man' isn't really always so accurate. Sometimes it's downright wrong. And these Dumbledore logic memes just go to show that sometimes Dumbledore's thinking is a bit askew and sometimes it's even batshit crazy. Just because he's got a lot of white hair, doesn't mean he's got all the answers even though we all, sometimes, really wish he did.
15 Harry Potter Rules
Look, I'm not going to say Dumbledore has a favorite, but... he has a favorite, let's be real with ourselves. And it's Harry Potter, himself. He favors the little bugger without a hint of subtlety. He's constantly winking in public at his outlandish favouritism and no one can do anything about it because he's the headmaster. Until Dolores Umbridge that is. Man, I wish that could be erased from my memory. It still makes me cringe. But there's a small part of me that felt a bit satisfied that the rampant favoritism was put to a stop. Not cool Dumbledore. Not cool. What a way to put a target on HP's back forever. Even as a fan I kind of wanted to see him fail sometimes. You can't always get what you want dude. Not fair.
14 Permission Slips Are Important
For some reason, Hogsmeade is a bigger deal than anything else ever. Just let the kids go have fun. What are they worried about exactly? Lawsuits? And yeah, they really did take Harry away from his guardians and now they are like "Oh sorry HP, we can't let you go have fun without your abusive uncle's signature! We know we essentially saved you from that situation, but there's some kind of stipulation when it comes to field trips to Hogsmeade that really puts us in a bind. Superrrrrr sorry about that!" He was living in a cupboard, under the stairs, dude. Do you think they give a F if he goes to Hogsmeade!? I'm going to guess that they do not. Just let him go drink butterbeer with Hermione and Ron.
13 The Budget At Hogwarts Is Probably A Mess
Who does the budget at Hogwarts? Because Dumbledore has zero appreciation for how much this is going to cost. You are going to let a crabby old man clean the halls of a GIANT castle with tricky staircases and walls and tons of nooks and crannies. Except, that old dude can't do magic. And he's old, so let's assume he's not as spry as he used to be. It takes him twice as long to clean the majestic castle. And half the time he's complaining about students being out of bed. Dumbledore needs to either find a professional magic cleaner, do it himself, or find a bunch of house elves to do it. But right now, I can tell you that surely Hogwarts is bleeding money.
12 When A Bird Horse Is More Important Than Human Parents
Listen, we were all pretty broken up when Buckbeak was killed. We don't like when animals die. It's just not cool. So we get the whole storyline about having to go back and save Buckbeak with the time turner. The thing is, it seems like a whole lot of effort that was not put into saving two human persons like Lily and James Potter. And we can argue over the complications that would have ensued. Messing with time is real serious, but don't tell me you're not just a little bit annoyed that it wasn't even tried out. I mean, I'd try it if it were my life. Screw the bird horse. I want my mommy and daddy. In general though, I think I would stay away from time travel. It scares me. Even the thought of it.
11 Ambiguous Dark Forest
The dark forest! Sometimes it's strictly forbidden and sometimes it's a punishment! Seems logical enough. Sounds like an abusive parent from the 1950s. You're not allowed to go into the basement, it's dangerous in there! You accidentally break a vase. Mom sends you to the basement to sit in a chair in the dark. Making something forbidden makes it scarier, so it makes perfect sense that it's the ideal detention locale. There's a lot of really bad stuff there, though. A basement is literally an empty threat. There's nothing down there but fear itself. But the Forbidden Forest has a bunch of weird baggage. No thanks. I'll be good now, I promise. I don't want to wander around in the dark and encounter scary mystical creatures.
10 Slytherin Sux
Honetly, poor Malfoy. Seeing this meme kind of ties everything together. It makes perfect sense that Slytherin breeds the worst kids. Because you treat them like they are the worst kids. They won fair and square and you took away their victory! That's so unfair! Also, look at their faces! They're so freaking young! Little babies. And poor Neville, always in the background. Always forgotten, but in actuality, he's the real hero. I remember when one of the earlier books was out, I kept saying that the story would take a turn and Neville would be the ultimate hero. He was always my favorite. Underdog forever. And although Malfoy and his two unpleasant side-kicks are baddies, I still feel for them. They clearly put in an effort in school and school activities. No wonder they turned out the way they did.
9 K Bye
Buh Bye! We're just going to leave this really important baby over there and only come back several years later when it's time for him to come to wizard school. He'll have a terrible childhood. He'll be ignored, abused, and want to die. He will feel that there is something off but will never know until we tell him later on. He's to be ostracized and picked on by his family and life will be a living hell for him. Sound cool? K cool. Let's go get a beer. No one else will take him, we're sure of it. We're on a dimly lit street! It's all good! Will he forgive us in his later years? Oh Totally! He'll be chill with everything that happened. We'll all become BFF'S in the end. Alright, let's go get lit Professor McGonagall.
8 Don't Do That Again, But If You Do, It's Okay
Again, Dumbledore kissing Harry Potter's butt and giving Griffindor all the effing glory. Stop being that guy Dumbledore! Everyone has had that teacher or professor who has a favorite that can do no wrong. They do something terrible but the professor finds the light in it. It's infuriating. You work hard, you put in your time, and some idiot who is the apple of the professor's eye copies and pastes something and somehow manages to pass it off as a joke or worse gets away with it. We all hate that person. And worse, we hate the professor who puts up with that person. No, not 50 points to Griffindor! 50 points to me, please! Why is everything about Harry Potter! Harry Potter farts and he gets a point. And who the heck is keeping track of these points!?
7 Token Students
Oh Hogwarts. I thought you were better than that. And Dumbledore, I thought you were better than that. I guess not! Is the wizarding world not diverse? Can someone please explain it to me? Why is it that the ratio of white wizards to black wizards is so askew? It seems like there's something up. I want the wizarding world to be more open, more accepting, more tolerant, and full of possibilities for everyone. So why is Hogwarts limiting itself to two token black students? It seems carefully thought out. Tisk tisk. Not cool Dumbledore, not cool. It's like you've thought more about this than your cleaning budget. Really though, I want to see more witches and wizards of color. I want to see trans wizards and witches too!
6 Checkers Vs. Chess
So true. What exactly was the logic here? Because I never quite thought about it before. Granted, these are pretty intelligent and capable youngsters we're talking about and they do get some help. But they aren't completely fumbling idiots and I have a feeling most kids their age would probably fail hard trying to complete the task at hand. They'd panic without a phone and the ability to ask Google or Siri (in all fairness, so would I). The three did have each other, and I do imagine the students at Hogwarts are more mature than other kids in the same grades. Magic is serious business indeed. You could literally kill someone with magic. I imagine a wand is a lot like a gun, but even more dangerous because it can be completely unpredictable. No, wait. That sounds a lot like a gun. Whoa.
5 Irresponsible AF
This is where I wonder how there is no pre-marital shenanigans happening all over the place at Hogwarts. There's not a whole lot of supervision and there are a whole lot of places to hide. It's a giant freaking castle. I assume there's some sort of sexual alarm spell enacted on the grounds. Otherwise, these teens are really uninterested in sex for the most part. The invisibility cloak would be a freaking tent for two horny teens. But alas, it's used for other mischief. I feel like it's under utilized though. It's a freaking INVISIBILITY CLOAK. No one can see you. You could go listen to all the hot gossip in the Hufflepuff lounge, you could go prank Slytherin, you could go mess with Snape's stuff. SO many possibilities and not enough kids using it.
4 Bad Move
Listen Dumbledore. This is a dick move. I can just picture him giggling in his office, talking to Fawkes:Dumbledore: They're never gonna figure it out! *hehe*Fawkes: *squawk*Dumbledore: It's totally obvious though, I mean common. *rolls his eyes*Fawkes: *squawk*Dumbledore: Whatever, you're right. I should probably tell them. You're being annoying about it though.Fawkes: *bursts into flames*
Keeping secrets, especially when it's valuable information, isn't about teaching lessons Albus. It's about being shady. Don't be shady. This business of having the kids receive information on their own is a bit sketchy. Sometimes, it's useful to just give them the info they need because it's really important. I think you need to rethink your teaching strategies a little bit. Yes indeed.
3 Bird Vs. Snake
Okay. Fawkes is one BAMF. But I don't know, who wins in bird versus snake? Sometimes it's the snake. Especially if it's a magical super massive giant snake. Birds do eat snakes though. I just think that a pet bird is not exactly the most motivational leg up when things are going badly. If you're spent, legs dragging, heart pounding, breathing hard, nearly unable to continue, and you think you're done for, it's not really a budgerigar that you're hoping is going to fly through the door. What's it going to do? Ring a little bell and bob its head up and down? (That's the extent of my budgie's talents...) I know Fawkes is a bit more robust in his talents. But still. Weak sauce Dumbledore.
2 Bringing You Up To Kill You
He does this a lot. He sends Harry off into multiple dangerous situations where the likelihood is that Harry will die a horrible death. If we were all in the same situation, we'd die in excruciating pain and we'd have zero cool sidekicks to help us out. No Hagrid, no Hermione, no Ron, no Dobby, no Hedwig. What a freaking bummer. Harry seems unlucky most of the time, but he's actually a really lucky guy. Except his mentor, the person he looks up to most in the world has essentially raised him to be murdered. What a disaster to find that out. A blow to the heart. And Dumbledore? Yet another dick move. At least drop hints here and there. Being the chosen one seems a lot like you're going to live forever as a hero.
1 It's A Dangerous World Out There
The world is filled with evil wizards who want to get at the "Boy Who Lived". Voldemort is gearing up to get another chance to swipe at the kid who survived. So Albus Dumbledore decides it's perfectly reasonable to keep the baby boy safe in the muggle world. Actually, that does make some sense. Except, it's with an abusive aunt and uncle and an insufferable cousin who needs to sit the eff down and relax. Could he not have given him to an adoption agency? Was it necessary to harden the boy up and give him a horrible childhood? They couldn't have placed him with literally ANYONE else? Any other loving muggle family? Would it then have been too hard to rip him away? Is that it? Oh Dumbledore, maybe we'll just never completely get you.