Anyone who has ever been owned by a cat already knows one very important fact about felines: cats are complete jerks. Cats are independent little animals, who will do anything and everything to make humans feel like the inferior species (and perhaps they're right). They usually accomplish this goal by knocking over water glasses, pulling things off shelves, sitting on important paperwork and doing their best to distract humans by being alternatively cute and evil, sometimes at the same time. Cats are notorious for such behaviors, which is why we love them so much, They also own the Internet with their hijinks and have made themselves famous for their horrible attitudes and behavior. We found some prime examples that prove just what complete jerks cats are.
16 What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine
There is a reason that cats and dogs don't generally like each other. Sure, there are occasionally exceptions to the rules, but dogs really hate cats because cats are jerks. This photo is the perfect example of that. Unfortunately, dogs often have to admit that felines are just smarter than them, and that means that dogs often just accept that as a fact of life. This cat decided it needed the bigger bed, although it is, obviously, the smaller animal. So the cat gets the dog bed, because that's what cats do: they don't need all that space, but then again, maybe they might. The poor dog just gets the cat bed, which is way too small for it, but it's probably better than picking a fight with the cat.
15 Eggs-cuse me, that's my seat
Cats don't care about stupid human stuff. They live outside of the realm of humans, where the world makes a completely different kind of sense. They also seem to get comfortable anywhere. Sometimes, they really want the softness of a bed. At other times, they can sit on a surface that seems completely uncomfortable, and are perfectly happy with it. They also want to sit or lay in places where humans don't want them to sit or lay. In this case, someone was getting ready to whip up a really good breakfast, which would have consisted of eggs. But the cat had other ideas: so the cat sat on the eggs instead. That's a complete jerk move, but as we previously stated: cats are jerks.
14 Butting in
Who doesn't love cuddling up with a furry little animal when they go to sleep at night. Cats are great for sleeping with: they make that purring sound that sends us off to dreamland every single time. They're also warm and cuddly. They really have a sweetness to them. But then they remember that they're cats. And they remember that as cats, they are jerks. And then they decided to sleep in away that has us waking up wondering what that smell is. And then we see what is unmistakably cat butt. And that's what happened here. This guy in for a in for a rude awakening, literally. Every cat owner has experienced this, too, proving that cats are jerks. They probably even think it's funny.
13 You paid how much for this box? I love it!
This photo demonstrates the dilemma of every cat owner (although it's more likely that cats think of us as more of servants, than owners). You go and buy a really nice thing for the cat. In this case, it's a nice new scratching post and cat tree combination. And you think of just how wonderful of a cat owner you are to spend money on nice things for your cat.
But cats are cats (or jerks, as we continue to point out).
And that means that the cat will not even acknowledge that awesome thing you bought for it. Instead, that cat will get all excited about the box that thing came in. So save yourself the trouble: don't buy things for your cat. Just get it boxes.
12 I squish your house
Cats are even jerks to other cats: no one is safe from a cat's jerk-like behavior. It's funny because you can always count on a cat to make a jerk move like demonstrated here. OK, we get it, the big cat probably can't fit in the little cat house thing. But that little cat house thing is probably for the other cat. But instead of being nice and allowing the other cat to have the house that was probably intended for it, the big cat just sits on the top and completely squishes it while the other cat looks on. That is some grade-A jerk behavior right there. And yet, we tolerate it because that's what cats do. Cats are jerks, but we love them for it.
11 I hope you didn't pay a lot for that special water fountain
We like to do nice things for our cats. It's no secret that cats love running water: it goes back to their prehistoric days before they were domesticated, back when they were hunters like their cousins, the lions and tigers.
Running water just tastes better to a cat. So we go and buy the nicest little water fountain we can find: one that provides running water 24/7 for our favorite little fur kids.
And that fur kid goes and ignores that water fountain because it is, apparently, so much more fun running up our water bill and drinking directly out of the sink. And to please them, we humans leave the sink dripping and just suck up the cost of wasting all that water because the cat demands it.
10 Were you drinking that?
Cat owners do not drink out of glasses, and there is a very good reason for that. There is something in a cat's behavior that if there is a liquid substance in a glass or cup, then that glass and cup must get destroyed at all costs and must crash to the floor with a loud noise that will result in glass or plastic breaking and leaving little pieces all over the floor. For cats, who are jerks, that is just a good days' work. Here is a photo of a cat in the very middle of knocking a cup off (note that it isn't breakable, and that means this is a cat owner who knows cats), which will spill liquid all over a good carpet or floor.
When humans do something that requires a lot of concentration, like solving a puzzle, cats always feel the need to intervene. Here's the thing: if you're doing something that is not related to the cat or giving attention to the cat, you're doing it wrong.
Cats are jerks, but they're also narcissists, it is always about them.
And when it isn't about them, they make it about them. This puzzle will never get solved, because the cat just decided to lay on top of it. Good luck finishing your puzzle, because it's not going to happen. Even better? The cat will eventually get up and probably take a piece or two of the puzzle with it, meaning that it will never get 100% solved. Because that's what they do.
8 Are you going to eat that?
Although cats have their own food—special food that their humans buy for them—it is never quite as good as what the human eats. Human food is that one thing that cats crave, even when they don't really like it. Sometimes, you'll cave and give them a little taste and they'll turn their nose up at it because they only wanted you to cave into their demands in the first place. But for some weird reason, cats love pizza. There is a whole web page devoted to cats trying to run away with pizza that their humans bring in to the house. We get it: pizza is good. But cats are food thieves and we can't turn our back on them or we'll go hungry.
7 I will always be #1
Cats have no respect for anything or anyone. And that makes them compete jerks. We have already seen just how little they respect humans, their time and their hard-earned money. We have even seen how cats have little respect for other cats.
Cats only care about one thing: their own comfort and amusement.
In this case, this poor dog has an injury that requires him to wear the cone of shame. The cone is already awful for an animal. But this cat? Well, this cat could care less about this poor dog's pain and suffering. This cat just plopped its furry little butt down on the cone of shame while the dog wore it. That is some seriously cold-hearted stuff right there. And being a dog, the dog will just take it.
6 The cat ate my homework
It's an old excuse that every little boy and girl has tried at least once in school: the dog ate my homework. And although dogs have been known to eat homework, we're guessing that it's more likely that the culprit was really the feline in the house. This cat got caught red-handed eating its owners homework, leaving it in shreds. And it has no regrets, because it's a cat and it's a jerk. We are only wondering if this student told its teacher the embarrassing story about the cat and if the teacher believed it. But this is photographic evidence that the cat did it. It's also proof that this cat (like all other cats) is a jerk. "I'm entertained, human, and I don't care if you get an "F" for this assignment."
5 Watching humans clean up messes is fun
Maybe cats aren't jerks at all. Maybe they're kind little elves that do their best to make sure that humans always have something to do. Maybe they make messes so that humans will understand the value of cleanliness and will never have idle hands.
Oh, who are we fooling?
Cats are jerks and they make messes because it's fun for them. Not only do they get the joy of unraveling a toilet paper roll, sheet by sheet, but they also get the joy in watching humans try to clean up the mess after so that they can do it all over again. They do this intentional, and we keep falling into their trap because cats are, obviously, far superior in intellect than us. And it's about time we realized that.
4 You're working, huh? Oh, that's cute
Maybe we can tell ourselves that cats do not understand the concept of work and how humans have to do that to afford to buy them all the boxes they want and feed them when they're hungry. It's likely that they do understand it very well, but that they just don't care because in the end, everything is all about them. And when everything is all about them, they are going to sit where they want when they want. That means that humans often end up as chairs for cats, even when humans are busy doing important things. In fact, it is when humans are doing their most important things that make cats think it's time they climb up the human's arm and put all their weight on their owner's shoulders.
3 When you don't like the new curtains
Cats are why we can't have nice things. People might say that about children, but cats are a lot more clever than kids, which means they can do a lot more damage. Cats are also very picky about things in their environment: if you change something, they will let you know by any means necessary of how they disapprove. In this photo, we clearly have a cat who is not happy with the new curtains. And that cat decided that because the new curtains sucked, it would destroy said curtains so that human would have to replace them. This is cat thinking because they believe that this is how they help their owners make good decisions in their lives: even if those decisions involve buying curtains.
2 They're thieves
Cats are thieves: this is no secret. It's all part of their jerk behavior. They believe that everything in the world belongs to them and if they decide to take something, they take it without any regrets. This is part of who they are.
This video, though, introduces Dusty, who has taken this thievery to the next level.
By day, he's a simple house pet. At night, he's a cat burglar, and a good one at that. He steals stuff and then takes it back to his home (although the video seems to think humans own the house, but they, obviously, don't have cats). He has stolen everything from his neighbors' swim clothes to gloves to stuffed toys. In three years, he has stolen about 600 items.
1 Nice boots
At least humans who are jerks sometimes have regrets about being jerks. Sometimes, they'll even apologize for their behavior and try to make amends. That's what separates humans from cats. Cats have no regrets. That's because they are jerks through and through with little to no morality. That new pair of boots you bought? Yeah, Fluffy chewed through them. And Fluffy doesn't care if that makes you upset because Fluffy follows his own moral code, which is no moral code at all. Fluffy gets what Fluffy wants and at the time, Fluffy really liked the taste of leather on his tongue and how it kind of crunched a little bit when he chewed on it with his teeth. If you expect Fluffy to show an ounce of guilt, forget about it.