There are some things we see out there in the world that are clever, funny and we wish we’d thought of. Usually, it’s a joke or quick-witted response to a particular moment in time.
Thanks to social media platforms like Snapchat, people can share those moments in life with their friends and followers when all the stars align to marry a hilarious image and perfectly witty caption into one unforgettable post. We spent some time scouring the internet for a collection of just such photos so you can see what we were talking about when we say: here 15 hilarious snaps that we wish we’d taken ourselves.
15 Baby Jesus works hard for his six-pack
We don’t know about you, but we’re committed couch potatoes. We perform bicep curls every time we raise our soda cans to our mouths, triceps kickbacks whenever the remote control has sunk between sofa cushions and lateral shoulder raises each time we point it towards the television. Yes, indeed, maintaining this marshmallow bod is hard work.
Baby Jesus clearly has his own workout regimen here. He’s definitely strengthening his core and engaging his upper abs through raised shoulders and lower abs through raised legs, but what about his lateral obliques and pectorals? Tsk-tsk. Let’s not neglect those. For a more well-rounded routine, we hope Baby Jesus starts doing some bench presses and other lifts and leaves his manger occasionally to get some cardio in, too.
14 Shall I compare thee, pizza, to a summer’s day?
This dog’s internal monologue might go something like this: “Shall I compare thee, beloved pizza, to a summer’s day? Your crust is crispy like my owner’s skin when she wears anything less than a 30 SPF. Your cheese melts over tomato-y toppings like the ice in her Piña Colada. No matter that I’m a four-legged canine and you’re human food—I want you, pizza, and we’re meant to be together. Don’t deny me, darling pizza, you know it’s true: you want me to take you in my jaw and carry you away like King Kong to the corner of the kitchen where I will messily and thoroughly devour you—and I will, dearest pizza, I will—as soon as I can figure out how to get to you.”
13 We don’t want whatever it is you’re selling
When not expecting anyone, we typically pretend we’re not home if we hear a knock at the door. This might be a poor strategy if you want to win the Publisher’s Clearing House jackpot because you might miss the Prize Patrol when they stop by, but we’ll take our chances.
It’s the same thing with Jehovah’s Witnesses when they go door to door. If you have time on your hands and are in the mood for company, and perhaps a heated religious debate, you might invite them in on the condition that whatever time you spend hearing out their philosophies they, in turn, must listen to yours and you will go first. Gesture towards your Star Wars memorabilia and begin by explaining that you worship at the altar of a different Lord...
12 Grandma’s getting ready to throw down
Grandma took to rap really quickly. She might be winning rap battles left and right these days, but only six short months ago, she thought “throwing down” meant you needed a “down throw” so she started crocheting an afghan because that’s what she does. You said “No, Grandma, ‘throwing down’ means to bust some rhymes.” Then, you gave her a demo beat, she picked it up like a duck to water and now, there’s no stopping her—she’s a true poet/philosopher. She used to crochet “Home Sweet Home” into her afghans but now she stitches in her own original rap lyrics. No one throws down like Grandma at the mic: she rules the beat, has rhythm in her soul and is mulling over a record deal.
11 Fashion face-off
This is not the first fashion face-off between an inanimate object and a person. There have been fashion face-offs between Justin Timberlake’s mid-'90s hair (circa NSYNC) and ramen noodles; and President Trump’s windblown hair and the top of a corn stalk, but this might be the first fashion faceoff ever recorded between a pink highlighter and a schoolteacher. We wonder if this teacher spotted this bright-colored highlighter on her student’s desk in the days before and thought to herself Hm. Reminds me of that pink frock in the back in my closet that I was thinking of donating to Goodwill…
We think the teacher wore it better. The highlighter lacks curves to heighten its silhouette and the teacher’s color scheme is more consistent, but then again, we’re no fashion police.
Nursing’s a noble profession. Being a marine, too, is also a noble pursuit. Being a marine means you’re willing to put your life on the line to defend your country and freedom; being a nurse means that you will attend society’s sick and vulnerable.
Nursing might call for a lighter hand than being a marine, however. A former marine might have to adjust their bedside manner to take their patient’s temperature, clean wounds or change bandages.
Now, where’s that “spoonful of sugar (that) helps medicine go down” in this picture? This guy looks like he’s going to scream “drop and give me fifty!” or demand that you scrub your toilet with a toothbrush if, say, you leave too many peas behind on your food tray after your gross hospital lunch.
9 A dog’s spa day
Sometimes pooches need some “me” time. Pups, like humans, occasionally need time to themselves to reflect, look inward and take time away from their crazy canine rat race of chasing squirrels and barking at every single car that goes by. Sometimes, paradise is a mere fence-leap or short garden dig away, such as in the above picture where the spa-like atmosphere of the neighbor’s yard called out to this pup like a dazzling mirage from the parched desert of his own dug-up backyard. He had to check out these neighborly amenities screaming his name to see if they were real.
Now, he’s got a pedicure scheduled for later this afternoon, then a facial and deep tissue massage, followed by an hour spent gnawing on a KONG toy.
We’ve always heard Rick sing that he’s “never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around or desert you…” Like most people, we heard this song many, many times when we clicked on a link thinking we were accessing some celebrity’s latest sex tape or Cat Ladies Gone Wild! but then this song would play over and over instead and we were—needless to say—sorely disappointed not to see Paris Hilton in flagrante delicto, but also drawn into grooving along before rebooting our computer to stop the so-called "rickroll."
While “rickrolling” didn’t officially become an internet sensation until around 2008, Rick Astley himself first rickroll’d everyone way back in the '80s. He did this IRL when he followed up “Never Gonna Give You Up” with his 1989 single “Giving Up On Love.”
7 The hamster philosopher
This hamster, as we see, is a philosopher. One day, he might even have his own Twitter account where he can tweet his innermost thoughts. It’s true he lives in a prison. The world passes him by as he sits in his cage drinking water from a hanging bottle affixed with twist ties to his prison bars; he spins endlessly on his hamster wheel over and over to pass the time. It’s enough to drive any thoughtful, feeling, self-respecting rodent crazy.
Given access to a keyboard, he magically knows English, can spell and crafts a complete sentence. This hamster’s profound. We’re stirred by his words. Who knew hamsters possessed such self-awareness? What do they think of their masters? Would we really like to know?
6 Part of the ‘Star Wars’ fashion line
It’s important to suit up properly to destroy Death Stars and other galactic threats. You have to be ready for anything (especially battle) at any time and look good doing it. Wearable, breathable clothes to move about freely in and duel easily, thrusting with lasers, etc. Never mind thermal this-or-that; or wearing blown up spacesuits with a giant plastic fishbowl over the head—you can’t properly mow down a three-headed amphibious alien centaur in that!
The way to dress for deep space is to disguise oneself as a rider dressed for a casual equestrian event. All these Han Solo fashionistas appear to the untrained eye to be about to mount horses but in truth, they’re dressed to do battle in a “galaxy far, far away…”
5 War widow?
“It’s a war out there.” This Chihuahua waiting for her man (a super fluffy Pomeranian named Oscar) has heard that phrase many times. She plays their song “Who Let The Dogs Out?” over and over.
Will Oscar’s poufy hair be the same when he returns, she wonders. He’d gone to the groomer’s before shipping out so he`d look his best in uniform. She loves his hair so. It’ll probably be soiled from the trenches and not all fresh like when he left.
What if he comes home shell-shocked? Oh, he’ll be fine she reassures herself. Oscar can dig like nobody’s business and get himself out of jams. She worries about the enemy waving beef jerky in his face, however—because then Oscar would surrender in a heartbeat.
4 Waiting in line for treats
There are several reasons borders shouldn't be made of stuffed animals. This is one way of separating your living room from your dining room; or maybe separating space in a shared kids’ room. While it looks cute, you have to watch where you’re stepping because you might trip over them and if you think your neat lineup of stuffed animals is going to stay in a neat line for any period of time then you need to think again—especially if you have kids or frisky animals around because they will be busting up your carefully constructed borders of teddy bears, Beanie Babies and Hello Kitties in no time.
Of course, there’s the cute factor when your dog thinks this is the treat line-up and waits in queue for a milk bone.
3 Walken in a winter wonderland
It’s that time of year again. Adding this Christopher Walken decoration to the neighborhood could be considered a modern twist on the Seinfeld-inspired anti-Christmas holiday “Festivus,” where, instead of celebrating good cheer, there’s the airing of grievances; instead of decorating a tree, you erect a plain metal pole around which you will perform feats of strength after the potluck so you can watch Grandpa wrestle Aunt Dot (who reportedly kicks *ss in spin class). Aunt Dot’s all fired up, too, because Grandpa told her her green bean casserole sucked. She’ll drop him to the mat and let him steep in his own indigestion.
Anyway, after feats of strength, the new tradition this year is that everyone’s invited to gather round the Festivus pole and air grievances while doing their best Christopher Walken impression.
2 Miscellaneous: all the other stuff that doesn’t fit into any category
Whenever you label something “miscellaneous,” it's means that it doesn’t fit into a specific category. In other words, it’s probably your most interesting stuff because it refuses to be pigeonholed—like a true maverick.
While it may be great to possess miscellany, it’s a whole other thing to spell the word properly. Sometimes it takes a few tries. Maybe you sound it out and still can’t get it. Putting an “s” and a “c” together is always confusing and the word just seems to take more letters than it should.
So, if you can’t spell “miscellaneous” and instead label your box with the words “MY OTHER SH*T”, no worries because people will still know exactly what you mean. If they give you grief about them, ask them to spell it.
1 “Where’s your plane, peasants?”
It’s one thing for the rich to fly about quietly in their personal eight-seater luxury planes—but it’s entirely another for these jetsetters to taunt working class folk from their privileged spot several thousand feet above. Too bad they can’t see us peasants giving them the finger from our lowly radar ground position while we wait in a looooong line up for the overcrowded street car that will shuttle us to our 9-to-5 workday.
When the car finally comes, we squeeze aboard and ask ourselves who needs a stupid private plane anyway? We’d rather say hello to Gus, our regular driver, stumble past the guy who always blocks the aisle with his briefcase and go hold the handrail beside that redheaded lady who snores the whole way to the subway…