It's that time of year again—when Monday's get a little more dramatic and we get a whole lot drunker as The Bachelor airs on our television screens. While millions of households tune into the show every week to watch one man search for love by making out with everyone in his sight, there are certain things that all Bachelor fans know to be true. These are things such as: the cardinal rule for watching The Bachelor (the rule requires you to have a full glass of wine to chug at all times and friends around you to dissect every little thing that happens) and that the way to appear like the catch of the century is to pit women against each other (this technique even fooled us into believing that Juan Pablo was a gem.) Or that Chris Harrison loves to set high expectations for every season by telling us that it will be without a doubt "the most dramatic Bachelor ever."
We also know to expect a certain type of woman every season, including a kooky girl, a villainous temptress, a girl who can't handle her liquor, a neurotic woman and a catty one. We also cannot go without an insecure girl, a woman whose name we can never remember and our favorite kind of woman—the angry, manipulative one. Of course, they also throw a few regular chicks in the mix just to give the bachelor a little variety and we just can't get enough of all the drama that comes along with it. Here are 15 memes that perfectly sum up everything Bachelor fans knows to be true of their favorite show.
15 Wine and 'The Bachelor' go hand-in-hand
Perhaps we need all that wine because we are watching a man attempt to date 20 women at once, while promising to be ready for a monogamous relationship. Or perhaps, we need a drink or two (or four) because of how awkward the interactions between the women and the bachelor can get. Or maybe we drink because it's the only way we can handle the lavish dates the girls get to go on while we can barely get a date to the movies. Then again, maybe we just like to drink and use The Bachelor as an excuse.
Wherever this whole drinking while watching The Bachelor thing came from, we're not going to argue it. In fact, as any Bachelor Nation member knows, it just would not feel the same to watch the show sober. Somehow, it just would not be as entertaining without a drink, which is probably how the women dating the bachelor would feel if they were sober (no wonder they all drink so much).
14 There will always be girls with bizarre job titles
If one thing is for sure, it's that there is never a shortage of weird job titles on The Bachelor. Who knew that being a "free spirit" was an actual job? What kind of skills does a job like this require? How much does a job like this pay? We could wear floral crowns all day and dance around fire pits to indie music too if we were getting paid for it, so where can we sign up? In all seriousness, though, one of the fun things about tuning into the show is seeing what new and imaginative job titles the contestants have. We're not sure if the participants just make stuff up and the person in charge of superimposing the titles of the girls double checks them or not or if the producers are the ones behind the titles. Either way, they make for great talking points, so we're not mad about it. Other strange job titles featured on the show have include "dog lover" and "sports fishing enthusiast."
13 Women will always try to justify why someone else got the rose
It is expected that if you are putting about 30 women in a room to vie for the same guy that there will be drama, jealousy and cattiness (just to be clear, this also applies if the sexes were reversed). So when one woman gets the first impression rose or the only rose on a group date, it is inevitable that some women will try to justify why she got it over them.
Sure, getting naked sure would get the job done if you seek to get the guy's attention, but there are also other effective ways of getting that coveted rose...like throwing a tantrum and threatening to leave because you feel like he's not reciprocating your feelings. Or pretending to injure yourself and then allowing him to come to the rescue, so he feels like a superhero. Or opening up about that one time your distant relative died and how you still cry about it because even though you didn't know him, he still felt close to you. Or just get naked—that truly is the quickest and most pain-free of getting that rose.
12 Contestants consistently consume wine
It seems like it is almost a prerequisite that if you want to appear on The Bachelor, then you must be an avid wine drinker. Between the women and the men on the show, they seem to always be sipping on a glass of wine. Whether they are on a group date, solo date, at the rose ceremony or having breakfast—there always seems to be alcohol involved. Every hour is wine o'clock when it comes to The Bachelor. Sounds like a real good time; sign us up.
So, why do the contestants drink so much? Well, for starters, their boyfriend has 20 other girlfriends and that's enough for anyone to develop a drinking problem. Not to mention they are living under one roof like they're in a sorority house, except that they are not in college, but are rather nearing their 30s. On top of that, they have to fall in love with a guy in a matter of weeks. So, naturally, having wine goggles will speed the process along. We wonder if the women realize what they have signed up for once the hangover wears off? We guess that's why they keep them drunk the entire process.
11 Claws will come out to get a rose
Any regular observer may say, "Whats the big deal? It's just a rose." Yet, Bachelor fans know that it is so much more than just a flower. Just look at the lengths that the girls sometimes have to go to to get it. All it takes is for you to watch one episode to know that blood, sweat and tears go into getting one of those thorny things that literally stand between you and the possible love of your life. So, it's no wonder that the claws come out and girls will go out of their way to seduce the bachelor into giving them that coveted flower.
The contestants will go to lengths such as luring the bachelor into an ocean naked to go skinny dipping in the middle of the night. Or they will get hypothermia on a group date, so the bachelor is forced to stay by their side and naturally fall in love with them. Or they will lie and say how other girls are not there for the right reasons just to emphasize how they are there for the right reasons. You know, the usual.
10 Every season has a villain
Every season has a villain and it is almost always the woman that stresses she is not on the show "to make friends," but to get the man. While we would want to be friends with some of the contestants in the series, that does not mean that we would be there for that particular reason. We are pretty sure most women are there to get the guy in the end, however, that does not mean they have to step on the other women to get there. The truth is at the end of the day, the guy ends up choosing the woman that he has the best chemistry with or the one that will be the best partner for the press tour. So, no matter how hard the villain tries, she normally does not get the guy (except Courtney Robertson on Ben's season. Nice one, girl). However, the villain does provide us with hours of entertainment, so they are a staple of The Bachelor franchise.
9 There is always some shocking reveal
No matter which season of The Bachelor it is, there is always a shocking reveal that surfaces. Whether it is that an ex-girlfriend is still pining over the man of the hour or that the bachelor has already sealed the deal with some of the ladies (ahem...Nick Viall), some drama always comes to fruition. Naturally, when these dramatic revelations are made, the girls always give the cameras their best "shocked" faces so that the producers have a little material for next week's trailer. So whether we have been watching for the past 20 seasons or just tuned in, we always look forward to the next episode after Chris Harrison promises that we "won't believe what happens next week" (even though it is usually just the girls overreacting to something). There's just no denying it keeps us coming back for more every week.
8 There will always be tears
Whether it is the first night of The Bachelor or the last (or any day or night in between), there are always tears on the show. It typically all starts on night one, when the first batch of girls get sent home and at least one of them cries about how she already loves him and how heartbroken she is that she has to leave. Although, sometimes, the girls do not even make it to the rose ceremony the first night without tears and start to cry simply because they are not getting enough attention. Then, the first date card rolls around on the second day and the girls are at it again. Some feel left out, while others just can not handle the heat of being on a date with her boyfriend and his 10 other girlfriends. So as the season progresses, the tears keep on flowing far more abundantly than the roses and eventually, it's down to two women. Of course, at this point, the bachelor gets in on the crying action, too, as he picks the woman he will spend the rest of his life with after knowing her for just two months (sounds like a pretty legitimate reason to cry, doesn't it?).
7 There is always at least one "crazy" woman on the show
No matter how many seasons and how many women pass through The Bachelor, there is always at least one "crazy" woman on the show. How does one define "crazy?" In The Bachelor sphere, it can be anything from a woman who engages in conversations with animals and fruit to a lady who throws a tantrum because she does not get attention. There are so many different ways to be typecast as "the crazy one" on the show, but on the bright side, you do get a whole lot more screen time.
Whether we love them or hate them, as avid Bachelor fans, we relish in watching the women who color outside of the box. They add a certain flare to the show that would not be there otherwise. Not to mention, they also do an excellent job of keeping the bachelor on his toes and stirring up some drama with the other women.
6 There is always an awkward first kiss
Most of us have been in a situation where the timing was off with a man, or the chemistry was not quite there, which resulted in a very awkward first kiss. So it's expected that every season, The Bachelor would have at least one uncomfortable make-out session. While in the real world, we go home after a bad kiss and cringe at the thought of it, unfortunately for the men and women on the show, their first kiss is shown to millions. Just when you think it can't get any worse than going in for a kiss and having the recipient greet you with a protruding tongue or a closed mouth, you have to deal with the reality that everyone else will see it, too. On top of that, the cameramen also loves to get particularly close when the contestants are kissing so that you can hear every suck, slurp and moan (we're looking at you, Josh Murray). It's bad enough the kiss looked awful but then you add in the sound effects...well, it's just all too much to handle.
5 There's always a woman that has no filter
We have come to expect that every season will have an unfiltered woman on it that will say whatever is on her mind, whether it's in front of the others or behind their backs on camera. A perfect example is Courtney Robertson on Ben Flajnik's season, who did not hesitate in shedding a negative light on her competition (seems like a pretty sound strategy considering she won). While plenty of women talk poorly about each other during filming, there are some women that do not hold back at all as they evaluate the other contestants.
We must admit, though, we appreciate the commentary most of the time as we are usually thinking the same thing anyway. The contestants have to realize that being uncensored will undoubtedly get them far on the show, it's just a question of if they are being kept on because the bachelor is falling for them or only because it makes for good television.
4 Chris Harrison will always say each episode is "the most dramatic"
How else are they supposed to have us coming back for more if they do not tell us that the next season or episode will be even more dramatic than the last? Chris Harrison knows what he's doing. Whether we believe Harrison or not, we still keep tuning in because we're curious. There's no way we can risk missing all of the promised drama. This particularly rings true when Harrison says it about the final episode because the way they edit those trailers, they get us every time. Why is everyone crying? Why did the bachelor get slapped? Which ring will he pick? Which lady will get the ring? Will she even say yes? Will he leave with both women? Will he leave brokenhearted? Who is the next bachelor? Why do we still watch this show? When will Chris Harrison get a rose? There are just too many unanswered questions for us to look away.
3 There's always a contestant that makes everything about them
We get that you have to have your own back more so than anyone else's to excel on The Bachelor, but some women just make everything about themselves. One example is Olivia Cardi on Ben Higgin's season, who went on to talk about her cankles right after Ben had found out that his family friends died in a plane crash. Apparently being self-absorbed does not work too well, though, as Olivia was sent home. Perhaps these girls just do not know that the key to making someone love you is to make them feel like the center of the universe. There's nothing like rubbing someone's ego to make them think that you are the one. While some women act self-absorbed with the bachelor, others act self-absorbed with the other women. Like when a contestant does something and another woman immediately thinks that it was a direct dig at her. Relax sweetheart; it's likely not about you at all, but about trying as hard as one can to get the bachelor's attention.
2 There will be lavish dates
One of the best parts about watching The Bachelor, aside from the drama and excessive make-out sessions, are the dates that the women get to on. In fact, the cool dates would be reason enough for us to apply to be on the show and probably "fall in love" with whoever the bachelor is that season. One memorable date was the one Vanessa Grimaldi and Nick Viall went on, where they had a zero gravity experience on a plane. Where can we sign up? Other lavish dates that we have witnessed through the years are private concerts by established musicians, trips to all sorts of exotic locations and dinners in some of the coolest restaurants and places. The producers behind the show have figured out that the way to keep 30 women battling it out for an often ordinary guy (sorry not sorry, Juan Pablo) is to present them with crazy dates.
1 It always makes us question our dating life
If there is one thing The Bachelor is good at, it's making us question our dating life. Any woman that has ever waited for a text message knows how infuriating it is to watch a lady dressed as a shark calling herself a dolphin get a rose. How is it that someone who throws the first rose ceremony dress code out the window can still receive a coveted rose when we can not even get a text back? Perhaps, we are doing it all wrong. Maybe the key to a man's heart has been to do whatever it is you please all along? Maybe acting entertaining enough is the way to grab a guy's attention and keep it. Or better yet, why don't we just go on The Bachelor and act super dramatic all the time because then the producers will undoubtedly force the bachelor to keep us around, right? We also don't get how a woman who does not even know how to wash a spoon can be in the front running to get a husband (ahem, Corrine) while we are just over here washing our spoons and waiting for that text back.