Move over Beyoncé! There’s a new queen in town—a new queen of Twitter, that is. And we are loving every single thing about her and all the shade she is throwing to all corners of Twitterverse. No account is safe. And if Twitter users come for her, then she is going to come from them—hard. And Rowling doesn’t play, at all. Don’t believe us? See the savageness for yourself. Because if there was ever any doubt of J.K. Rowling’s mad skills or whether she really is a goddess of words and the queen of witty clapbacks, this list will shut them down. Fans of J.K. Rowling, get ready to love her even more. Here are 15 of her most epic Twitter clapbacks of all time. Prepare to feel the burn!
15 When she clapbacked at a hooded chihuahua
Here's what we wanna know: why would you come for someone, let alone the queen creator of Hogwarts, saying that she’s hiding behind fictional characters when you yourself have an avatar posing as a ‘fictional’ character? Is this guy for real? Donald Jr had to know it was coming, right? Could he not see that he himself was calling the kettle black? We’re just saying, if you’re going to try to take down the slayer of Voldemort with your words, you might want to make sure that you can back up the said words. If you don’t, Rowling will come for you with the same creativity, spunk and fire that she created Hogwarts with...and that means loads of Twitter trouble for you. We’ll say it for Donald: touché, Ms. Rowling, touché.
14 When she encouraged reading
See people, this is what happens when you don’t read the books or the fine print yourself— you end up with alternative facts. If you’re getting your information second hand, there is no guarantee that you’re getting the facts right. The only way to do that is to see and read them for yourself. Because when you don’t do that, you end up tweeting stupid and totally unfounded stuff like this and you get called out for distorting the facts to serve your opinion. You just can’t win an argument if you don’t know the facts. Clearly, the winner of this Twitter feud is Rowling for serving up he-who-will-not-be-named a heavy dose of fact-checking because, duh, she wrote the book.
13 When she slayed with this
This tweet is the one tweet to slay them all! We cannot say it enough—J.K. Rowling is the queen of masterful clapbacks and words. She not only writes them, but she serves them up to anyone who tries to throw any kind of serious shade. Even though this tweeter seems to be a bit more thankful than most of Rowling’s trolls (she did use the hashtag thankyoufor17years), she still set herself up for Rowling’s response. And J.K. did not let us or her Twitter fans down. Speaking of embarrassment, what we’re most embarrassed for is this girl waking up to this epic response from the Potter matriarch and seeing that it’s been re-tweeted 49 THOUSAND times.
12 When she let the kids know that she's toxic
We couldn’t help it. The first time we read this all we could hear in our heads was Britney Spear’s song, "Toxic." That and Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s, "Baby, I got your money." And that's because this tweet has got both—and so does Rowling. It’s the perfect soundtrack to what just might be one of our favorite clapbacks on this list. Talk about feeling the burn! This tweet from Rowling lit us—and whichever poor muggle that tweeted this—up! She once again sent the Twitter world blazing with her mastery of words and comebacks. And she’s just not talking this time. Nope, this time she’s even offering up her own lighter to torch that bad boy up! Why? Because she already gotcha money. Burn, baby, burn!
11 When she pointed out Hooked on Phonics didn't work for this troll
We can’t take it anymore! She is just too much! Our cheeks literally hurt from laughing so hard and our eyes are watering on our keyboard as we type this. We'll explain the protocol that we would hope anyone who is looking to troll Rowling would follow. First of all, if you’re going to come for the queen of words, you better make damn sure that what you want to say is good. And secondly (and perhaps most importantly of all), you want to make sure that sh*t is spelled right. This poor lad or lass failed epically at both. Shutter and shudder? And why did they emphasize their misspelling—that only brought more attention to their idiocy. Of course, our queen had something to say about it.
10 When she just didn't try hard enough
What we want to know is how Frogulus Pepe (WTF is that handle, btw?!) obtained his review of J.K. Rowling being a sh*tty writer. Frogulus must have read Rowling’s books to come to the conclusion that she wasn’t a good writer. And that means they would have had to be a fan at one point because how else would Pepe come to this conclusion? Unless (*insert epic musical overturn here*) Frogulus is basing their assessment on alternative facts and other people’s opinions. All we can say is, hater’s gonna hate—and not think for themselves. And Pepe is on track for both. We guess it’s safe to say that this frog isn’t going to turn into Prince Charming anytime soon.
9 When she taught Mr. America to read
This tweet is so good, we can hear J.K. Rowling saying it—dramatic pauses and all. Sometimes, the kids don’t want to go to school and that’s when you have to bring the school to the kids. And Rowling did just that. If Mr. America didn’t understand what the first amendment was all about, we’re taking a wild guess that he does now. But, Rowling didn’t just school him on how democracy and freedom speech works, she gave him the ultimate lesson on ‘reading.’ And if Mr. America was really paying attention, he would realize (as Rowling pointed out in clapback #13) that her books have always been political. Some, like Mr. America, are just too stupid to see it.
8 When she single-handedly brought down misogyny
Just when we thought we couldn’t love J.K. Rowling anymore, she goes and throws epic shade on Rob, the Twitter user who is just too misogynistic for his own good. And this time, she didn’t just clapback, but she burned this living lights out of him, publicly. And if you’re going to tag the queen of words in a tweet, you better be prepared for the firestorm that’s bound to come after you. Because not only did J.K. Rowling’s tweet go viral—as in pretty much every single online news and entertainment media outlet covering it—so did Rob’s stupidity. And when we say all over, we mean all over. It’s the clapback heard around the world and Rob’s stupidity is at the center of it.
7 When she cracked a baby chickling
We will never understand the phenomenon of Twitter users who don’t have a profile pic coming for celebrities or anyone else that actually has a profile pic. Don’t they realize that the fact that they didn’t take the 10 seconds to upload a profile pic to Twitter is an automatic strike against them in any Twitter war? Obviously, Ellen didn’t. And how is anyone supposed to take someone who's too lazy to care about their online presence seriously? We don’t. And neither did J.K. Rowling. It’s this kind of stupidity that we just don’t get. It’s almost as bad as using a hooded chihuahua or a frog as your avatar. But, at least in those two cases, some form of creativity and imagination was used.
6 When she was squad goals
We. Are. Dying. Here. Seriously, come on, Tom, if you are trying to ‘hurt’ our lady of Hogwarts' feelings, then you’re going to have to be way more original and creative than this. High horse? Really, that’s your best shot? Only a muggle would be satisfied enough to tweet this nonsense out. The real question we should be asking is: is it lonely down there with the other bottom feeders who aren’t worth tens of billions of dollars, don’t have a fan base of a bazillion people and don’t ever have to work a day in their life again? Must be. Because those five little hearts on your tweet look real solitary and sad, next to Rowling’s 36,945 hearts. J.K. Rowling is #squadgoals...and our spirit animal.
5 When she really couldn't give a s#*@
This is how queen J.K. Rowling is. She isn’t even tagged in this tweet, but still took the time out of shuffling her millions to leave the most epic and sarcastic reply. Does she have an assistant whose only job is to scour Twitterverse looking for stupid and mean tweets for Rowling to clapback, too? If so, sign us up! We’d be great at it. Regardless of how she does it (we believe and know it’s because she is magic), she does it well. And this tweet is proof that she is everywhere. J.K. Rowling is goals in so many ways, we’ve lost count. But, we’re pretty sure that Scott hasn’t lost count of how badly he failed when he sent out this tweet.
4 When she called out what ISN'T in her job description
There are a lot of things writers do—they dream up characters that do not exist and breathe life into them, they create magical places that we all want to visit, they move us to laughter and tears with their words and descriptions of experiences that sometimes mirror our own. But for all the things that writers do, there are a lot of things that they have no control over. Casting movies and plays is one of them. Sure, writers might have some say in what they envision the character they created to look like, but once the book rights have been sold to a movie studio, the director's vision is really the only vision that counts. J.K. just schooled Upmeli—and the rest of the world—on this.
3 When Dannie tried to get one over her
Ohhhh, so close! And out of all the tweets on this list, this was the one we were hoping that Rowling would lose her comeback groove on and fall for the bait, thus spilling the beans. That would have been so cool. But, she’s way too smart for that. Still, we had hope and we were all alongside Dannie, waiting patiently to see if she would not only reply, but how she would reply. Would we finally learn the secrets behind creating Horcruxes? Would we finally know the spell? Nope. Nada. Zip. She outwitted us then and she outwitted us now. Still, we give props to Dannie for trying and we give mad love to Rowling for replying—even if it wasn’t the answer we were hoping for.
2 When she found out she had a secret admirer
This tweet made us spit up our coffee—as did J.K.’s response. And while we hate to admit it, we must say, this tweet does earn some mad creativity points. Because out of all of the trolling tweets on this list, this one showed the most promise and cohesiveness overall. Think about it: nose in the UK... buttsniffing. We get it. It’s clever and kinda smart, in a kitschy kind of way. But, obviously, it's not smart enough for the queen. Because no matter how clever, funny or smart you think you are, Rowling is way smarter and funnier. This tweet proves it. The only thing we’re missing is your name so we could tweet you beautiful sonnets of love.
1 When she was just a flat-out baller
QUEEN! That’s all we can say, as we bow to down to what just might be the most epic tweet ever! This tweet was so good that it even caught the attention of a fellow creative individual, rapper Chamillionaire, who was just about to offer up a new remix of his song, Ridin' Dirty, to Rowling when he saw that she got that sh*t covered!
We love Rowling for so many reasons: her books and her imagination. But, one reason we really love her is because she’s not afraid of speaking her mind, telling it like is and shutting haters down. We think she’s magic for all those reasons and because, if anything else, she always puts a smile on our faces!