Holidays are meant to be spent with those you love and they give us all the opportunity to show how much we love everyone dear to us. Valentine's Day is unlike any other holiday though, because it focuses on romantic relationships above all others. It's a time when even the least romantic people of all may (or at least should) try to please their true loves. Some people put a lot of thought into finding the right Valentine's gift or planning the perfect date to surprise that special someone with a memorable night. Of course, businesses ramp up marketing and advertisements during the holidays in order to capitalize on revenue. But despite the efforts of individuals and the businesses marketing to them, not every Valentine's idea is a win. Here are 15 hilarious Valentine's Day fails.
15 "Your awesome"
Candy hearts are one of the most common sweet treats given on Valentine's Day. It's fun to get a bag of candy in which each piece is scripted with a heartfelt message just for you. The messages are sweet but also simple, with only a few little words written on each one. You would think that those would be easy to spell and that people would check them before having the candy bagged for sale. Well, someone in the checking department at candy land must have skipped over this little heart because they let "You're" slide by as "Your." What's worse is that someone could interpret it to mean that the giver is saying he or she is the recipient's something awesome. So you're stuck with choosing between a bad grammatical error or a self-absorbed message.
14 Heart-themed takeout
If you've been together for a while, then you might decide to skip going out on Valentine's and just have dinner at home. That's all good if you're a great cook or get something really nice for a candlelit dinner. Then again, you may not care to go through all the trouble. Nothing says you're cheap and lazy like sending out for pizza on Valentine's Day. And nothing says you're trying to make up for the fact that you're cheap and lazy by making sure the pizza is heartfelt (pun intended). But the real failure in this Valentine's Day dinner wasn't caused by the one who ordered the pizza, but rather by the one who made the pizza. This pizza must have been hand-tossed, because it still looks pretty round to us.
13 Back to love
Maybe a heart-shaped pizza is a little too simple for your liking. It's not so much the heart shape that makes it seem simple, but rather the fact that you think you can do better than a lump of dough. This guy didn't want to go to the extent of tattooing a heart on his body, so he did the next best thing. He had a huge heart waxed out of his back hair. You know that he had to go through a lot of pain to do so, which should show his special lady how much he cares. On the bright side, his back turned a bright red. Nothing says, "I'm burning with love for you," quite like a giant red heart ripped into your back. Now that we think about it, a tattoo might have been the less painful choice to show his affection.
12 Too much togetherness
Couples can sometimes go a little crazy in showing their love and affection by wearing matching outfits. While it's enjoyable to make fun of these people and laugh at the things they do, someone is making a lot of money off of their desire to be bonded. We have seen a myriad of products that cater to these people and it's all hilarious until your significant other purchases one for you. For example, Smittens! These are the mittens for couples who are smitten! Now they can hold hands as much as they want without worrying about them getting cold. Of course, we must ask why they each couldn't just wear individual fingered gloves and still hold hands.
Just when you thought it couldn't get worse than two people sharing a single mitten, it went south...way south. Lingerie may be one of the top selling items among Valentine's Day shoppers, but it's usually a single pair meant to be worn by a single person. That was all before the invention of Fundies, the underwear built for two. What may appear to be a giant pair of granny panties is really a pair of big tighty-whities with extra room in the leg holes. Sure, they're not very attractive, but they have to be unisex. No guy wants to wear lace and no woman wants to wear boxer briefs. So they kept it simple and went with old school tight and white. Even more awkward than opening this gift would perhaps be trying to put them on with your partner.
11 The dollar-menu dinner
If ordering takeout pizza is a bust, you can always take your guy or girl out to eat. Everyone enjoys a nice dinner out, right? Yes, but the key word is "nice." Two words that you don't often see in the same sentence are "McDonald's" and "romantic." But this particular McDonald's restaurant dared to go there by inviting everyone in town out for a candlelit dinner on Valentine's Day, complete with flowers and tableside service. It all sounds good, except for the food. Who would ever consider fine dining at McDonald's? Apparently, some people did. We just hope the dates who were surprised with this dinner out had a good sense of humor (especially when they saw the cell phone ambiance lighting). If not, that is probably the last date they went on with the McDonald's dinner planner.
10 A big hunk of meat
If a guy plans on cooking for his girl, he usually turns to grilling. After all, most people enjoy a good steak. The meat companies have discovered that they can capitalize on Valentine's Day just like other businesses, so they pulled out all the stops to attract consumers. Not all of their marketing efforts were that awesome though. Packaging a piece of meat in a heart-shaped box isn't that special. Most likely, you will cook the steak before giving it to the recipient, so they wouldn't even know it came in a heart-shaped package. Otherwise, who would want a raw piece of meat in a box? Sask Pork doesn't do much better. They used the cliché trick of replacing the letter "O" with a heart and added a heartfelt message. Sure, the message included a period after the word "pork," but does anyone really read it that way? And the suggestive photo doesn't help the interpretation.
9 The gift that keeps on giving
If you're at a loss of what to give your significant other, then you should think about his or her interests. If your partner is a lover of animals, then maybe the gift of a new pet would be a sweet gesture. Most people would go with a dog, a cat or even just a hamster or a goldfish. But if you're looking for the real deal, you can always go with crabs from Little Critters' Pet store. This store runs a sale on Valentine's Day, making it the best choice by far. That is, considering anyone really wants crabs of any kind. But even if your guy or girl likes sea creatures of the uncooked kind, it still won't be a pleasant surprise when you announce that his or her Valentine's gift is crabs.
8 What a gentleman
This guy seems to have a strange definition for the word "gentleman." He admits that he was new to the dating game, but come on! Who would really think that a girl would want to go to a strip club on a date? And the fact that it was on Valentine's Day makes it even worse. Not only that, but he bought her a lap dance! Maybe he was sitting in the club thinking about how he hadn't bought her a gift. We can only imagine what they ate for dinner. He didn't say if there was a follow-up date with this girl. But we can safely assume that this was their last encounter. He obviously didn't learn much from his mistakes though, because he thought he was being a gentleman.
7 Nothing like VD for Valentine's Day
This is one of those gifts that was given with good intentions, but went a little wrong in the end. Much like the pork billboard, the choice of wording on this cake leads to misinterpretation. Almost everyone would be excited about receiving a delicious strawberry cake with real slices of strawberries on top. It also comes with a sweet message for the recipient to enjoy Valentine's Day. The person decorating this cake should have planned it out a little better though, because the writing got a little large and left little room for the words "Valentine's Day." The cake decorator solved this problem by abbreviating the end of the message. Now the recipient should read this easily and understand the message. Problem solved! Well, except for the fact that "VD" also stands for venereal disease!
6 There is such a thing as disgusting chocolate
The phrase "kiss my butt" can move over because there's a new phrase in town! Believe it or not, "eat my butt" is taking over with a little help from delicious chocolate. We’ve lived to see everything covered in chocolate, including grasshoppers. We've also witnessed chocolates molded into every imaginable shape. But this beats any chocolate monograms or chocolate bunnies on the market. Why give someone a chocolate heart for Valentine's Day when you can give them chocolate butts? That's the idea behind (pun intended) Edible Anus chocolates. You can offer your loved one luxury chocolates in the shape of a butthole. It's such a disgrace to fine candy everywhere. This is not a very wise choice of Valentine's gift for your significant other. Although, it might make for an indirect and sarcastic way to tell a boss or frenemy that you think he or she is a butt.
5 You is fine!
There's nothing like a ghetto gift to ruin the romance on Valentine's Day. If you thought having dinner out at McDonald's (with the glow of a phone-lit candle) was a ghetto move to make on Valentine's Day, then you're in for an even bigger surprise. And we mean "big" as in a giant-sized bear holding a giant heart. Giant teddy bears are actually a common gift on Valentine's Day, and they can work for all ages. But it's the message on the heart that makes this giant bear a giant fail. While it tells the girl she is attractive, it does so in the most ghetto way possible. Not only that, but it addresses the recipient with a term of endearment that no female in her right mind (other than a dog, maybe) would find endearing.
4 Trashing the romance
If there's anything that can kill the romance quicker than a ghetto teddy bear, it would have to be the foul smell of trash. Who wants to think about trash on Valentine's Day? Nobody, except maybe recycling companies. It looks like Evergreen Waste Services decided that if pork companies can capitalize on Valentine's Day, so can they! Perhaps they overlooked the fact that everyone eats on Valentine's Day but nobody thinks about the trash. Not only that, but they went a little far by saying that reliable trash service is the best way to show your affections. Even the guy with the back hair had a better idea than that! Not to mention that the tiny trashcan lit up like a diamond ring is really a stretch. We can’t help but wonder if anyone purchased this for a Valentine's Day gift.
3 File for divorce
If you spend enough Valentine's on trash services, ghetto teddy bears and romantic dinners out at McDonald's, you're likely to find that the romance has fizzled out completely. Office Depot is here to help by making it easy to file for divorce. For the low cost of less than $34, you can file for divorce without the aid of a pricey lawyer. It's like a divorce in a box, or it actually is a divorce in a box. The message of showing some love seems a little cruel. Maybe the divorce in the box was just inconveniently placed beside some real Valentine's gifts. If so, we're still calling it a fail. Who would want a computer mouse or a tape dispenser for Valentine's Day? Sorry, Office Depot. None of these products are showing us some love.
2 Planning her death
Could there be anything less romantic than ordering a reliable trash service or filing for divorce on Valentine's Day? Actually there can, thanks to this funeral home ad. It suggests that the "perfect gift" for Valentine's Day is pre-planning a funeral. After all, why would you want to waste time pondering over buying candy or flowers when you could give her the security of a solid death plan. Aside from the fact that this ad sounds like you're literally planning your wife's death, it's just plain crazy to think someone would consider making funeral arrangements for a Valentine's Day gift. Even if your wife is 100 years old and on life support, we're sure she would appreciate a bouquet of roses for her bedside rather than a down payment on a casket.
1 Happy leap year day!
When it comes to Valentine's Day fails, we’ve seen it all. From desperate (and often inappropriate) marketing ploys to people showing their love in strange ways, it seems like it's almost easier to fail at Valentine's than it is to win at it. Despite all of the previous fails though, this one might just beat them all. You can't possibly win at Valentine's Day if you don't know when it is. We're not just talking about forgetting what day is the 14th, but actually forgetting that Valentine's Day is on the 14th! Of course, some holidays change days every year, but you can always count on a few of them to stay the same, like Christmas and Valentine's Day. Poor Sammie seems to think that Valentine's gets moved back when it's leap year. At least she thinks this only affects February. If not, could you imagine the embarrassment when she celebrates the 5th of July?