The world is a horrifying place, filled with all manner of creepy stuff. You don't need us to tell you that. But the ironic thing about it is, even if you don't go looking for creepy stuff, the creepy stuff? Well. It goes looking for you. There's no escaping from it. All you can do is cringe and cry when it comes along.
We're going to take you on a journey, now. A journey to the center of the NOPE. We'll encounter NOPE up close and personal. And just when you think you can't take the NOPE anymore, we'll bombard you with even more NOPE. Take a few seconds to mentally prepare for what lies ahead. When you think you're ready, scroll through these 15 horrifying pictures that will make you scream, "NOPE!"
15 And we thought OUR neighbors were bad
Your journey to the center of the NOPE begins at home. It's a pleasant Saturday morning. You slept a little later than usually, but it's your day off, and you needed to catch some extra Zs. You get out of bed, smell the roses, listen to the birds singing outside of your window. The sun shines in through the curtains, and you know it's going to be a gorgeous day.
You grab yourself a cup of coffee, and that book you've been meaning to finish for a while, and you head out to the back patio, to soak up some of nature's beauty. But when you go to open the sliding glass door, you see this, and instead of enjoying the beauty of nature, you decide to cower in fear in your closet, instead.
14 Welp, time to move
Huddled amongst the dirty clothes lining the floor of your closet, you hatch a plan for dealing with the horrifying hornet's nest outside your back door. You decide to call an exterminator to come kill the tiny drones of Satan. In the meantime, you'll go stay with a friend. But first, you have to pack your things and give her a call, which means you must leave the safety of your closet.
It's afternoon. You've been in the closet for four hours, crying between sips of your coffee. You realize, now, you were being silly. You're inside! Those hornets can't get you. Feeling better, you step outside of the closet with the confidence of a self-assured gay man, and you see this in the corner of your bedroom. Consequently, you wet your pants.
13 How ever will you make banana bread, now?!?!
Screaming with all the dignity of an upset toddler, you waddle in your wet pants as fast as you can to the kitchen, where you know you left your phone on the counter. You're careful to close the door of your bedroom, not that it'll help in the slightest.
In the kitchen, you use your phone to call your friend, Vivian, and tell her you're coming over. But, what's this?! Vivian has some hot gossip pertaining to your crush and his now ex-girlfriend? Well, dish, Vivian! Dish! You loiter around your kitchen while Vivian relays the information to you, and as you do, you notice something odd about the bananas. You lean in closer to inspect them. Oh. It's just a bunch of deadly spiders. Nothing to worry about. Wait... deadly spiders? AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
12 Attic puppets are even scarier than regular puppets
Your bedroom has been seized by Aragog and his children, your kitchen has just become a habitat for thousands of tiny, deadly spiders. You're not safe. All you can do now is cry. Wait a minute! You have an attic! Nothing could possibly scare the ever-living sh*t out of you in the attic! After all, you've seen horror movies. Nothing bad ever happens there!
You pull the string to the set of stairs that leads to your attic. The ladder folds down, and the musty, insulation-y stench from above attempts to smother you. You climb to the top of the ladder, look around, and you see this thing. That's when you realize you've been living in an abandoned amusement park the whole time, and your scary day goes from bad to bad bad.
11 Weather, throwing a hissy fit
The shock of seeing that dummy caused you to faint and fall off the ladder. When you come to, you just lay there waiting for death, because you know it's all over. You've got spiders coming out the wazoo, you've got animatronic Buddhist monks in your attic, you've got wasps building a mansion outside your back door. You're doomed.
Then, you remember: you have a front door! You get up, grab your car keys off of the table in the foyer, and rush outside, relieved that the NOPE has finally come to an end. But just when you think it's all over, you turn around and see this. The good news is, by now, your pants are mostly dry! The bad news is, that doesn't matter in the slightest, because you just wet them again.
10 Schnappi? What are you doing here?!
A tornado right in the middle of a lightning storm. Wonderful. Well, it's still not as NOPE as your houseful of bugs and amusement park horrors. Still, that's pretty upsetting, so you pull out your personal planner, and schedule a day and time during which you'll cry about that. But for right now, there's nothing you can do.
You high tail it to your car. It's your only friend, now. Your only means of escape. Your beacon of hope in a sea of NOPE (hey, that rhymed!). You click the button that unlocks the doors of your vehicle, and as you approach, lighting from the aforementioned lightning storm flashes so brightly in the darkness that you see this guy waiting patiently for you to come closer so he can eat you. Fantastic.
9 Anybody know Parseltongue?
Luckily for you, the alligator decided to leave in order to pursue the neighbor's kid. You never liked that punk, because he knocked down your mailbox, so you decide to be petty and neglect to help him escape the jaws of Schnappi. Instead, you leap into your car, grateful that it's entirely free of NOPE.
You start that sucker and peel out of your driveway faster than Speed Racer. But, uh-oh. You're almost on empty. You pull into the gas station down the block, step out, and see this snake. You figure he's just trying to get back into the Chamber of Secrets, but still, you're shook. You realize your string of bad luck is uncannily horrible, and you begin to suspect that you might be in a article about horrifying NOPE things.
8 Pineapple on pizza is looking pretty good right about now
You were able to pull around to another pump and fuel up there. When you got back in your car, you tried to call Vivian again, but she didn't pick up. She was probably calling everyone else in the squad to gossip. Vivian loved a juicy rumor. Anyway, you pull your car into a parking space in front of the convenience store, which, you notice, also has a Pizza Hut.
Dealing with all that NOPE, you've worked up quite the appetite. So you walk in, place your order, find a booth and sit down. You try to remember what it was like when the world wasn't so horrifying, but you can't. And the process gets even more difficult when the waitress brings you your pizza, and it looks like this.
7 Spider straws: not as great as crazy straws
At this point, you're hyperventilating. The room is spinning. The collar of your shirt seems to tight around your neck. You feel like you're suffocating, and you don't know if you should be concerned, or if you should just let it happen, because you'd rather pass out than continue to deal with the NOPE.
In an effort to calm down, you reach for the diet root beer that came with your delicious slice of scorpion and extra cheese pizza. Just as you're about to take a sip, you see a spider in the straw. It's at this moment that you curse spiders. You curse them for all eternity, and you promise yourself that, in future, whenever you see a spider, you will go out of your way to kill it.
6 This makes The Walking Dead seem dull and uneventful
That tears it. You've had enough! You're not going to deal with these spiders anymore! Who do they think they are, anyway? Those damn eight-legged freaks, waltzing into your home, ruining your bananas, hiding in your straw so you can't drink your root beer. Those bastards can all go die, as far as you're concerned. And you're going to do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
You step out of that gas station Pizza Hut resolved to become the world's first professional spider slaughterer, determined to fulfill your new goal of spider genocide. You will not rest until every spider you see, benign or deadly, small or huge, is dead. Then, you look over, and you see this monstrosity eating a chicken, and you renege on your spider killing ambitions.
5 This is why we don't want kids
Vivian finally answers her phone, and you tell her you're coming over. She says okay, but she warns you that you'll never be able to sleep through the night, because her baby wakes up every four hours. You don't care. You've been through hell today—or, at least a potential plot set up for a B-movie like Sharknado, and, really, isn't that a kind of hell all on its own?
Once there, Vivian shows you the air mattress she set up in her room for you to sleep on. You both settle in for the night, and, eventually, you drift off to sleep. You jerk awake at three in the morning. The baby's making noise on the baby monitor. You look over, you see this, and once again, you wet your pants.
4 Oh, look, a portal to hell
Your screams were enough to make the baby cry, and to wake up Vivian. And because she didn't see the demon child that you saw in the baby monitor, she thinks you're the bad guy for waking her kid up, so she kicks you out. Thanks a lot, Vivian.
You head back to your car and you drive around for a while. You wind up at the airport. It seems as good of an option as any, so you spend five hours looking for a parking space, then you head inside. Since you weren't able to drink your root beer yesterday evening, you're still parched. You head over to a vending machine, and just as you were about to stick a dollar bill in, you hear the dreaded voice of the devil's favorite toy—a Furby.
3 Get a grip
The bright eyes of the possessed Furby bored into your very soul. The sheer, unadulterated NOPE has you blinded by fear. So you run. You run far, and you run fast, not even knowing where you're running to.
But you cannot run forever, mostly because you're really out of shape, so you end up a few yards away from the vending machine. You find yourself in a skydiving class. You're so full of adrenaline right now, for whatever reason, skydiving seems like the perfect solution to all of your problems. You gear up. You get on the plane. Before you know it, the instructor is shoving you out into the vast, open sky. And just as your falling, feeling the freeing sensation of being untouched by NOPE, you slip out of your parachute pack.
By some miracle, you land unscathed in a watermelon patch. The farmer who owns the land gives you a ride to town on his tractor. He drops you off at the library, goodness knows why. But he did give you a watermelon, so that was nice of him. At least you won't go hungry. You'll always remember Farmer Gordon for showing you kindness in this wasteland of NOPE.
With your watermelon in hand, you go inside the library and find an available computer. You need to watch some cat videos, stat. You've got to remind yourself that there's still good in the world. That the planet has not been consumed with NOPE. But right when you log onto the internet, you see this. All hope is lost once more.
1 This nightlight will "doll up" your nightmares
You exit the library, and sit on the curb with your head in your hands. "Sweetie?" you hear a familiar voice say. You look up. It's your mother. Suddenly, you remember. This is your home town! And, your mother! Your beautiful, beautiful mother is here! You jump up and embrace her, and then she takes you home (her home, not your NOPE-ridden one).
Once there, she feeds you and comforts you and takes you to your old room, where she tucks you in so you can get some sleep. The room is just as you remember it, although your mother insists she's "dolled it up a bit" since you moved out. Only once she turns off the lights do you see what she meant. And for the first time in 20 years, you wet the bed.