Text messages: they’re basically the way we communicate these days. Gone are the days of the phone call, when people actually had to sit down and talk to other people and interact with their actual voices. We collectively have decided that we’re "too cool" for interaction, and now we all get freaked out when someone actually calls... Like, couldn’t they have texted?
But the magical institution of texting also has its pitfalls. Sometimes, people send truly horrible texts; texts that nobody ever wants to receive. And whereas, if someone called us and said something awful, or gave us bad news, they’d actually have to interact with us, bad texts are so much worse because we're kind of on your own. There's no group interaction. Another thing about text messages: they can be screen shotted, and often are. That’s why we were able to find these 15 text messages from the pits of the Earth that ruined someone’s day somewhere.
If we’re being real, many of us have been in a situation where the morning after pill (or Plan B), has been necessary. Whether it was a slip up with contraception, or just straight up “forgetting” to use protection, a good amount of people have had the experience of waking up on the other side of a one night stand, realizing it was time for some good old fashioned Plan B. Presumably, this realization might include text messaging your partner to let them know what’s up. What should NOT be done via text, though, is telling your partner you’re thinking about not taking Plan B and potentially getting pregnant because you don’t have the pills and can’t afford them. That is a nightmare situation right there, and a very freaky spot to put someone in via text.
Hopefully, the dude on the receiving end of this text mobilized and loaned that woman some money, so as to prevent any *surprises* in nine months time.
Another thing particular to text messaging, specifically in relationship issue texts, is that the safety of being behind the screen sometimes allows people to be way more blunt than they would be in person or even on the phone. Case in point, this exchange, where a woman sends a text that just point blank says, “We need to break up.” That would probably have been cushioned a little more in an actual conversation, but he decided to further the situation by taking a jab at the fact that he apparently thinks her sister is hot. This was a bad move on his end, because she came back with a text that absolutely upped the ante on being blunt.
It’s easy to forget some jerk who said he thought your sister was hot. But it's less easy to forget someone saying that they are completely sexually repulsed by you. Someone please call the burn unit, we have a patient for them.
Look, I will start right away by saying that, of course, parenting is tough. From sleepless nights to the unending financial burdens that children present, it’s obviously understandable when parents get flustered and mess up.
These texts, however, show us the moment when a mom or dad realizes that this mess up has, in fact, occurred, and that now they are texting a random dude revealing that they don’t have the number for the person they left their young son with. Wrong number text messages can often create these sudden moments of intimacy with strangers, which are pretty great...but this is obviously a text exchange nobody wants to have, especially the parents in question. It seems that the guy on the other end of the exchange wasn’t too bothered, but seriously, no one wants to watch someone realize they’ve screwed up when it comes to their kids.
The reason this text is so jarring is that this is absolutely something that has happened to me in real life before. It goes a little something like this: you secretly think the person your friend is dating is a d*ck and hope that they break up. A miscommunication happens in the conversation and it kind of sounds like they broke up. You jump in with, “THANK GOD, FINALLY,” and then your friend has to break the news to you that you have drastically misunderstood the situation, and have lodged your foot firmly in your own mouth. However, if this had happened face-to-face in a real life conversation, this whole moment may have faded away — written off and forgotten. A text message, however, is like a diamond and is forever. Now this this friend has permanent, eternal truth in receipt form, that her friend hates her then-boyfriend, now-fiancé. I’d wager to guess their friendship suffered pretty mightily from that one little text exchange.
But the next day you wake up to this: a barrage of texts telling you that Bill Murray did, indeed, show up. And he hung out with everyone — even making them omelettes! An actual OMELETTE, made by BILL MURRAY, and you missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime. The amount that this kid must be kicking himself is just astronomical. I know I would be furious with myself if I missed a party where Bill Murray randomly showed up and made omelettes.
How many times have you gotten a text like this? Just pure, unadulterated thirst, begging for validation, being super overtly sexual like it’s the recipient’s job to pay attention to them? It’s pretty much the scourge of texting and there are no signs of it stopping. We will say that usually, the person making this gross demand of non-consensual booty call is a guy, but it seems that in this case, this woman decided to break the glass ceiling of being a skeevy, creepy weirdo and harassing a man through text message while demanding he call her sexy.
My favorite part about this whole text exchange is how cool he stayed and how succinctly he was like, "nah, you’re drunk and an idiot and I’m not into it." Though, judging by experience, it is probably unlikely that she took this as the hint she should have taken. She should just leave him alone.
Text message exchanges are often the battleground where the battles of relationship troubles are fought. This is good in some ways, because it allows us to really think about what we're saying before we blurt it out. This is lifesaving, because when we're having these kinds of conversations face-to-face or on the phone, we're more likely to blurt out something we wish we could take back.
Some people, however, seem not to be able to utilize this technological tool, and say regretful things via text anyhow; specifically, things they would not have needed to say if they just waited for a response from their partner.
This woman, unfortunately, decided to go ham with her suspicions of infidelity and make up a scenario where she was cheating on him...which turned out to be a lie. The resulting exchange is total savagery on the boyfriend’s end, but we can’t say we entirely blame him...
In all likelihood, you (like the recipient of this text), have also had a psycho ex. Some of you may have even labeled them as "psycho" in your phones when they showed their true psycho colors. I know I have. One of the texts you probably are least likely to want to receive from a psycho ex, is that they are not only outside your door, but they left a gift... And it's not just any gift, it's a damn bagel. I don’t know what Psycho Sasha left on this guy’s doorstep, but I am willing to bet that it was something non-bagel related (I'm guessing sh*t in a box, but that’s just me).
This seems confirmed by the fact that when the textee called his ex out on maybe leaving something untoward on their front porch, she immediately launched into curses. I think the textee probably made the right choice by opting out of whatever gift she may have brought them.
As I said before, having neighbors can sometimes be rough. A degree of both assertiveness and tact is required in order to not feel like you are getting stepped on and not to come off as a total jerk.
In this text exchange, the assertiveness quickly slides out of control into complete jerk territory. Sure, kids who are loud can be annoying, but there is very little parents can actually do about it. Instead of realizing this, the texter decides that they are going to get straight up nasty, not only saying that they don't like the woman’s kid specifically (which in of itself is rude), but going full hilt and sexualizing a small child! Saying that this little child wearing pigtails (you know, like kids do), she is automatically going to become a stripper is downright disturbing. What kind of insane zero to 60 acceleration is that? Like, who looks at this situation, and thinks to themselves, "you know what I should do? I should tell my neighbor I think her kid’s pigtails make her look like a stripper. That is the rational thing to do at this juncture." SMDH.
Anyone who has used Tinder knows that there are times when a conversation goes from sliding into the DM’s to texting. Everyone who has used Tinder also knows that, sometimes, things get dropped, and people get busy, and not every Tinder connection pans out into constant communication and attention. What we have here is someone who apparently has not been informed of these facts, and has decided that they are not cool with their texts not being immediately responded to. As we all know, the best way to get a person to pay attention to you is to insult them with profanities, right? And to make up insults that, frankly, don’t make much sense (what does a “flat face” even look like? What does that mean?). The person on the receiving end of the text, though, totally shines. What better way to respond to this immature nonsense then with mature amusement?
This list is apparently chock full of dudes being awful, because this text exchange is entirely composed of this guy being really just the worst type of human being. In order to fully understand how awful this guy’s texts were, you have to really break down the layers of crap that are going on within them.
So, on the first layer, he is breaking news he has no business breaking, and is telling this girl that her boyfriend is intending to break up with her. Then there’s the issue of him further egging her by saying that the boyfriend hadn’t liked her for months. That’s all awful on the surface. But think about why he was texting in the first place. It seems like this dude’s intentions were incredibly suspect, and that he was trying to creep in and be a “shoulder to cry on,” and when that didn’t work, he resorted to sheer nastiness, completely unrepentant. This dude is awful, full stop.
My last series of texts on this list is one that I have to admit I relate to, because that is the sort of text I have definitely sent. When you’re going on a date with someone new, you don’t know what to expect, which can be scary for a number of reasons.
The worst case scenario, of course, the person turns out to be psycho or dangerous, but then there’s also the concern that they’re just boring or uninteresting and the date turns out to suck. Leave it to a brother, a friend, a parent, or whomever, we usually have someone on the line who we can text for a check in and use as an out if we don’t like what’s happening on the date. And USUALLY, that fact is not shared with the person we are going on a date with...until we send the wrong text to the wrong person and now our date knows we are having doubts about if they’re capable of having a date that doesn’t suck. Fantastic.