Twitter is a tremendous platform to find jokes of all kinds, but perhaps the best kind of joke that can be found on Twitter is fake conversations made up by fellow tweeters. For example, a conversation between a mother and her child, or a conversation between a husband and his wife. The difference between your average conversation and the conversations on Twitter, however, is that on Twitter the conversations are absolutely hilarious and made up.
Tweeters will make up the silliest and zaniest of conversations, somehow making them look real. Countless times you will see a tweet by a comedian or a funnyman on Twitter that touches upon every day conversations, but also manages to put a twist on them. These are often the tweets that will be retweeted plenty of times, as people generally enjoy the brand of humor, sharing it around because of its relevance to everyday living for most people. Sure, our lives may not be quite as zany as the lives of the people in these tweets, but we all know what it's like to have a conversation with a loved one that makes you want to face palm. Giving people the platform to tweet their made up conversations is one of the best things Twitter is good for. We are happy to share with you some of the best of the best when it comes to this style of tweeting. Here's the top 15 Twitter conversations.
15 Wife Wants Some Milk
Wife: can you pick up milk?— brandAn New Year (@LeBearGirdle) October 22, 2016
Me: [lifts gallon] yea it's easy
Wife: I mean from the store
Me: I would imagine it weighs the same there too
People ask their loved ones all the time to go to the supermarket, so this conversation should seem awfully familiar. Of course, husbands can also be quite dense when it comes to every day conversation, so this should seem even more familiar. In this made up Twitter conversation, the wife asks if the husband can pick up some milk. The husband, thinking she means is he able to lift milk, lifts the milk. The wife explains she meant can he pick it up from the store, and the husband misguidedly believes she means can he lift milk at the store. It's a ridiculous conversation that makes the husband look like an idiot, but that's why we love it! The husband seems so lost in such a simple conversation that it's a perfect time to laugh at his complete misunderstanding of everything that's going on!
nurse: sir... you've been in a coma since 2006— eric turtle (@dubstep4dads) August 27, 2016
Imagine waking up from a coma for the first time since 2006, you would be pretty confused, right? Well, this tweeter understands that perfectly, as he shows what his reaction would be if that happened. Given that Fergie was the popular music act back in 2006, the joke is that he would say "Fergalicious" to speak with the times, thinking she's still popular. Of course Fergie has faded out of the spotlight plenty, so the reference is extremely outdated, making this Twitter conversation one of the funniest ones we've seen! It's a perfect execution of humor and creativity. We only wish he would have told us the nurse's reaction to such an odd statement for the current times. Fergie needs to make a comeback, we haven't heard "Fergalicious" in forever!
13 Yogi Bear, Killer?
Me:Do you think Yogi Bear killed someone for that hat and tie? I mean hes a bear he cant buy it— Mark (@NoticablyBacon) August 18, 2016
Boss:I meant questions about the project
This Twitter conversation takes a new style; one that other tweeters have also followed. It takes a strange question that one wouldn't normally ask, then shows that it's responding to a completely normal question. This person asks "Do you think Yogi Bear killed someone for that hat and tie? I mean, he's a bear, he can't buy it," which is a good question! We never thought of that before, but it definitely brings further questions to mind and is something worth asking. However, the real twist comes when the response is from his boss! His boss is understandably confused, saying "I meant questions about the project." So the boss asked if he had any questions and received that strange, yet, thought-provoking question. One must wonder how their own boss would react to such an odd conversation.
12 Midterm Questions
me: if ur soulmate dies before u meet them do u get like a backup soulmate— chuuch (@ch000ch) May 13, 2016
professor: i meant questions about the midterm
In another tweet in a similar style, a question is asked "If your soulmate dies before you meet them do you, like, get a backup soulmate?" It's a good question, a sad one at that, but a good question! It makes us think, but of course knowing Twitter, the idea isn't just to make us think, it's also to make us laugh. So color us unsurprised this time, now that we know better, as the professor says "I meant questions about the midterm." There it is! We all knew a zinger had to be coming, as the question was thought-provoking and interesting for sure. But there had to be something funny or zany coming considering it's Twitter. So this person asked their professor if people get backup soulmates if their soulmate dies before they meet them. Definitely a normal question to ask a professor, right? Right? Okay, maybe not. Maybe that's why we find it so funny.
11 Janine Is Not Welcome
[introducing girlfriend to my family]— dan mentos (@DanMentos) August 11, 2016
me: this is my girlfriend janine
wife: what the fuck
This one really got us good. The idea is that there is a man introducing his girlfriend to his family, a sentence that leads us to believe he's introducing his girlfriend to his extended family or he's a young person introducing his new girlfriend to his parents, for example. But of course, that's far too normal to be the case. The twist comes when Janine, the girlfriend, says hi, and instead of the family reacting in a nice and welcoming way, the guy's WIFE is angry and concerned about what's going on. The plot twist of the man introducing his girlfriend to his own wife is one that we did not see coming, and one that we can't stop laughing at. What a creative way of using this tweet format, and what a funny delivery.
10 C'mon, Sharon
ME: I'll see you in a month— Marty Lawrence (@TeaAndCopy) July 26, 2016
WIFE: Don't forget to write
ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon
In another conversation between a husband and their wife, this husband says he will see his wife in a month. The wife says the typical line asking that he doesn't forget to write; as in she doesn't want him to forget to write to her. Of course, being that it's Twitter, that would be far too simple of a conversation. So the husband completely misunderstands his wife. The husband deadpans, "It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon." We're laughing so much at this one, perhaps because of the simplicity of the conversation coupled with the idiocy of the husband. It's so obvious what she means, yet he cannot understand it and makes his wife sound like the stupid one. Come on, Sharon!
9 Sexism Is Dead
[1st date]— Terry F (@daemonic3) June 28, 2016
WAITER: Here are your menus
"Just one menu, I'll order for both of us"
HER: That's really sexist
"Oh sorry, just one womenu"
Before you're husband and wife, there is almost always a series of dates that lead you to understand each other on a better level. Perhaps the couples shown above skipped some of that part, hence their miscommunication. But this couple is on a date when they have their own miscommunication. The waiter hands them their menus and the man says he'll be doing the ordering, a concept that can be considered sexist. Why can't a woman pick what she wants to eat? The woman calls him out on it, but he misunderstands of course! Rather than believing the act of ordering for her was sexist, he thinks "menu" is a sexist term because of the "men" in it. So he requests a "women-u" instead - a hilarious term we have not heard before! The delivery is perfect, as it carries yet another twist on a normal conversation.
8 You're Hired
Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word— Niles (@River_Niles) May 16, 2016
Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??
Have you ever gone on a job interview and struggle to know if you're going to get the gig? Well, this person doesn't have that problem, as they know how to get their job handed to them. Literally. When asked the question of how to describe themselves in one word, they choose the word "hired," thus essentially saying they've been hired. The second interviewer questions the first if that's allowed or not, as she essentially just declared herself as getting the job. It's a wonderful joke about the pressures of interviewing with a fun twist about simplifying it all. Hey, it might even be worth a try, too! Maybe the blunt delivery and sheer surprise factor will be unique enough to land you the spot!
7 I Have A Friend
MATH PROBLEM: If you give half of your apple to a friend, what do you have?— the hippo account (@InternetHippo) May 13, 2016
ME (through tears): A…a friend
Any recent high school graduate should remember the plethora of questions asked in math problems. Ah, we still have nightmares. Whether it be how many apples Annie has or how many donuts Jimmy ate, there's always random math problems being asked. This one asks "If you give half of your apple to a friend, what do you have?" Rather than answering the question though, the person is so surprised that they can't help but say, through tears, "A....a friend." It makes us sad to think that they are so surprised they have a friend, but it's such a funny joke, especially for those who don't have that many friends. It puts the math question in a totally different perspective, which we love! Maybe the tears will work enough for your teach to get you out of the problem.
6 More Friends!
"My friend got me a Fitbit"— Jon (@ArfMeasures) May 3, 2016
ME: Oh yeh, heard of them, haven't got one tho
"u can buy them online"
ME [whispering] u can buy friends online?
Following up on the last one, how about 'how to get even more friends?' This conversation includes someone being told about their friend getting them a Fitbit. They are then told that they can "buy them online," which leads to the classic misunderstanding. Rather than thinking they could get the Fitbit online, they believe they mean they can buy friends online. "You can buy friends online?" You can practically see the hope in their eyes as they believe that they can buy their way into friendships, which is once again, simultaneously sad and hilarious. Hey, if you could buy friends online, it would definitely make a lot of peoples lives easier! Sometimes tweeters are onto something. Just add a whole bunch of people on Twitter - there, instant friendship!
5 No Friends This Time
FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) February 10, 2016
ME: generic excuse
FRIEND: did u just say "generic excuse"
Of course, for all the people who struggle to make friends, there are always the people that believe they have too many friends or do not want to hangout with the friends they already have. In this case, a friend asks if the person wants to hangout over the weekend, and rather than making up a generic excuse, they literally respond with the words "generic excuse." The friend understandably questions if they said "generic excuse," because, well, imagine if your friend responded with the words "generic excuse" to if they wanted to hangout with you over the weekend. Not quite the nicest answer, but definitely a funny one! I'm not too sure they'll be asked to hangout that often if they keep dishing out "generic excuses" to people who like their company.
4 Doggy Problems
Girlfriend: [pulling me aside at a party] Stop saying our "42-year-old" lives with us.— Jeffrey Palms (@freypalm) January 6, 2016
Me: But in d—
Her: I KNOW HIS AGE IN DOG YEARS.
Everyone loves their dogs, but sometimes people can get a bit carried away with the strong emotion. In this case, a man and his girlfriend are at a party. The man is talking about their child. He keeps telling people that their child is 42 years old, but the girlfriend is having none of it. She asks that he stops telling people their "42 year old" lives with them, a fair request if you ask me. The kicker comes when the reasoning that he calls the child their "42 year old" is because it's the child's age in dog years! Hey, when you love dogs you really love dogs, right? We side with the girlfriend on this one because of the sheer idiocy of her boyfriend. But the entire concept of a guy going around a party saying they have a 42 year old is simply comical. I can totally picture this happening.
3 Times Are Changing
"Grandpa what was it like before emojis?"— dan mentos (@DanMentos) September 29, 2015
Well, we used words called adjectives
"That doesn't seem very 💯"
No, it was not very 💯 at all
This person asks their grandpa about how life was before emojis, a silly question, but hey. these are the current times, right? The grandpa hilariously explains that there was something called "adjectives," (which still exist now, contrary to popular belief!) and the person responds that adjectives were not very "100" at all. The grandpa agrees that it was not very "100," hilariously completing a conversation in modern day lingo. Being "100" means being cool, fun, hip, or current. So they replaced being cool or fun with being "100" for the sake of the joke. It combines the concept of today's youth being hooked on emojis and more with the divide between ages, but in a funny and non condescending way! I hope kids these days even know what adjectives, nouns, and verbs are...
2 Socrates Has Backup
SOCRATES: I am wiser than this man; he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing—— leon (@leyawn) April 8, 2015
DARRYL, SOCRATES' FRIEND: fuck him up socrates
Socrates was particularly good at owning people because of his brilliance, so when he says his famous line "I am wiser than this man; he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing," we are not surprised that it he came to say it. What comes next is amazing though, as rather than being a simple takedown, the tweeter turns it into a verbal throwdown moment. Socrates' backup, Darryl, gives him some verbal support behind his statement, putting it in a completely different light. This makes us want to see Socrates in a rap battle or verbal sparring with someone in today's society. Maybe it could be the next Hamilton. And if it does, we'll have this tweet to thank! Attention, Broadway, start casting for Socrates!
1 Grow Up, Karen
*Wife blows me a kiss from across the room*— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) May 19, 2014
*I pretend to catch it*
*I walk over to the window and toss it outside*
"Grow up Karen"
Blowing a kiss to one another when you're in a relationship or marriage is a completely normal and common occurrence. So when we see the twist in this tweet, it makes us laugh with amusement, along with getting a good idea for the next time we're mad at our spouse. It lies at the end of the tweet as we should have expected, as the husband does catch the kiss in his hand, but then walks over to the window and throws it outside. For once, the husband is the one trying to be mature, and we can't help but crack up when he says "Grow up, Karen." All of these Twitter marriage conversations have us in laughter, as picturing a husband doing that to their wife is one of the funniest things we've gotten to think about in a long time. Oh, Karen, it's time to grow up.