Sometimes in life you get tired of doing the right thing. Like, why do we have to pay the ridiculously overpriced parking charges at airports? Or, why should we have to suffer when our friend decides to scratch up our prized extended bluray disc of LOTR? Apparently, the Redditors below thought the same thing... except they decided to do something about it!
Redditors were asked what their best illegal life hack was, and the 15 below were some of the funniest, and most useful hacks we've heard of!
While we aren't encouraging illegal activity, you'll be amazed by what these users have gotten away with.
15 The Laundry Queen
"If you live in an apartment and it has coin operated laundry I got you fam. The most popular brand of washing machine is a 'Speed Queen' if your apartment complex uses Speed Queen you are in luck. Go on eBay and buy a Speed Queen 800 key. Its a hex key, looks like a circle with a little knob on one part. The keys go for about 15 bucks on eBay. When you have the keys starting the machine for free is easy! YouTube it and bam! No more quarters and bullsh*t.
EDIT: Holy sh*t this blew up. Okay let me find you guys some links and more details. This is disgustingly easier than people think it is. So first things first this only works for Speed Queens AND only for ones that take quarters. So we get an '800 Key' Don't worry about the name. Something like this. So we have the key lets talk about how to use it. On the right side of the machine above where the quarter tray is there should be a flat metal plate with this circular lock. Open the lock and pick up the plate. Put the plate back on. Underneath the plate is a small button that is always depressed because the plate is just chilling on top of it. This activates the machines computer. Super close to free laundry just stay with me here. Now comes the tricky part. The machines computer should have 4 button in a 2x2 little grid. Push the left top and bottom AT THE SAME TIME. Use two fingers and push them both. Then hit start twice in a row and the machine will start. DON'T f*ck around in the computer's menu. That can really f*ck with the machine.
For dryers the process is either exactly the same or if the dryers are stacked it's even easier. Open the lock which should be directly in between the top and bottom dryers. The whole plate will come off. Kind of scary the first time 'cause there will be dust and lint and wires and shit. Don't move the plate, just take it off only enough for you to get your hand in there. On the back side of the quarter tray, there is a button more like a mechanical lever that activates when quarters go through the tray. These vary a bit but it's just a one touch thing and the machine will be ready to run." - BlueLantern498
14 The Greenhouse Thief
"For any of you patient green thumbs out there: next time you go to a green house, carry a ziplock bag with a little bit of water in it in your purse. Whenever you find a plant you like, take a clipping from it, and put it in the ziplock. Take the clipping home, let root in water, and voila! A perfectly pirated plant. I have a whole host of exotic, pirated plants in my place and I didn't pay a dime.
Edit: the best and easiest example of doing this is taking the baby shoots off of a spider plant. They root quickly and I find it hard to consider that stealing." - SoulSylveon
This sounds like the kind of advice that someone like my grandmother would love to apply in real life.
13 The Returner
"Buy a power tool you need to use for a short time and return it later saying that it didn't work for you." - PM_ME_TITS_N_KITTENS
To which another user added:
"You can do this with most things. Need a new coat? Buy and return after your trip.
I used to work for a very expensive clothing store, people would buy £500 shoes and try and return them a couple weeks later covered in sand. The non-idiots would successfully get a refund." - zimzamzoom2
A tale as old as time. I remember seeing this illegal hack constantly depicted on sitcoms like The Nanny, with people hiding the price tags instead of cutting them off just to return the item in question. So, if you want to be a real-life Fran Fine, definitely go for this hack.
12 The Exchanger
"I've done this a few times and feel kind of scummy. If I own a product that stops functioning (mostly electronics like controllers, computer mice, and even a subwoofer once), I'll go to big corporate stores and purchase the same exact product. Place the old broken one in the new box and return it for a full refund. I normally pay with cash so they never catch my name." - therealbeefy
This sounds like a good idea – if you are into stealing, that is – but whatever you do, try not to be as dumb as to do it at work, like this person did:
"I used to work at Staples and joked around with the electronics lead that I should buy a new Xbox 360 and then return it with my old broken one inside and get a new Xbox for free. Unbeknownst to me, it turned out another employee had just bought and returned an Xbox, claiming he changed his mind and couldn't afford it. She (the electronics lead) went and compared serial numbers, and the guy had done exactly what I joked about. Immediate dismissal, and he had to return the Xbox." - mockingbird13
11 The Ballsy BOGO
"There's always the Ballsy BOGO. Basically, you go into a store and buy an item. You then pass the receipt to a friend, who pockets it. They go into the store, get the same item and walk out holding the receipt as well. If you get stopped at the door, just show them the receipt. Works best at places like Walmart where you can check out at a register other than the front. Do it quick enough and don't make a habit of it at the same store and they won't catch you.
If you're really gutsy, you can then take the originally purchased item and receipt back into the store and return it. When I worked retail, a motherf*cker did this with a TV." - Keinichn
10 "Selling the Cupcake"
"A buddy of mine used to work for a soft drink bottler in Detroit. He said one of his customers who owned a small gas station had a scheme he called 'selling the cupcake.' Every morning he would put some random item on the counter, like a cupcake or a candy bar. Then he would sell it to every customer that came through (except his regulars). Most never noticed the extra $0.50, and if they did, he just played innocent and said, 'oh, I'm sorry I thought this cupcake was yours.' You take $0.50 from a few hundred customers a day and your making some nice cash." - Durum
This might not be an honest way of making a few dollars, but it is most definitely a genius one. Sure, you are technically stealing from your customers – hey, but only from the non-regular ones – but you are earning some extra cash for the things that are really important in life, like beer.
9 The Rental Nightmare
"Have a scratched disc for a movie or game? Rent the same title and swap out the discs, then complain to the store about the scratched disc and get a free rental (maybe even two, depending on how ingratiating they are). You replace your scratched disc basically for free AND get a free rental out of the deal." - PianoManGidley
This is pretty useful because, honestly, we all know how people are when you lend them stuff:
"I stopped loaning out games for a while because of that. I went to a friends place with a copy of Sonic Adventure 2 for the gamecube, and my friend's friend wanted to play a different game. We were like, sure put that one in. This fucker popped my disk out, then tossed it over his fucking shoulder, then put his game in. I literally shouted at him, and he was just like, 'Oh, sorry bro.'" - ShadowBlade911
I mean, my first instinct would be to ask my friend to pay for the scratched movie or game, but the second – slightly less honest – idea is pretty cool too.
8 "You forgot my McChicken"
"If you need food, go to a few fast food places, walk in and tell them, 'Hey, y'all forgot to put a McChicken in my drive through bag.'
You have to pick an item that LOTS of people get. If you bring up something specific that they haven't made in an hour, they'll know you're full of shit. Most of the time if you say they forgot a McChicken they won't even check or ask for a receipt." - user [deleted]
It is all fun and games until someone takes it way too far and basically gets to walk out with a free meal for their entire neighborhood:
"I used to work at KFC in high school. We just had made a huge order that included a 20 piece bucket of hot wings for a drive through customer. After we handed the food to the customer, they proceeded to drive forward and park in a parking spot. About 5 minutes later, this guy comes in and says we forgot a 20 piece bucket of hot wings.
After about 3 employees tell the man, 'There is no way in hell we missed something that big,' my manager gives the man a free 20 piece bucket of hot wings because the customer is always right.
The dude straight up robbed us of one of the biggest items we carried... and we had to smile and say sorry." - slyboy889
7 The Free Train Rides
"Can't pay for the train? Ask people leaving the station to swipe you in – usually someone with an unlimited card will help you out. I believe that's illegal in NYC." - backlikeclap
If that is not good enough for you, there is always the other option:
"Mine was always to go in really fast behind someone else before the gates close and make the hand motions of swiping a card/putting a ticket through the machine. But I like yours better – relying on the kindness of strangers and so on." - vigilancenothyper
Either way, you get to ride the train for free, which is basically the whole idea behind the illegal life hack. Hopefully, there are still kind enough people out on the streets who would be willing to swipe you in. They might want something in return, though, so be ready to at least give them a piece of gum!
6 The Parking Garage Scam
"When you are leaving an unattended parking garage, just get out of the car, walk to the entry terminal, and print out a new ticket. Put that ticket into the exit terminal, and you get free parking!" - JemimasNephew
And then this person chimed in, with a great idea to avoid raising suspicion.
"So when you go in, get ticket #1 and park your car, when you've parked, pay for ticket #1 and walk up to the exit machine and pop in the ticket. When you want to leave, get ticket #2 and pay for it, then exit using ticket #2" - Sensitivity
This is the one thing that I would totally do, especially at airports and hospitals where people feel like they can charge you as if you were parking your brand-new airplane instead of your 20-year-old Subaru. Let's end the parking fee madness once and for all!
5 The Dumpster Dive
"Surprised no one mentioned dumpster diving. Stores throw away tons of perfectly good food that is often in sealed containers, and completely safe to retrieve and consume." - alexanderalright
I gotta try this at some point... but I don't know how I feel about rummaging through trash.
"Dumpster Diver Here
If you know of a store that has had a recent fire and is not of the food variety, go raid the fuck out of their dumpsters. There was an art store near where I lived that had a fire, they 'had' to throw away three aisles full of merch. Said merch was also pristine, I'm talking thousands of dollars worth of prismacolour pencils, ink pens, the works. They throw it out because it could be tainted or because it's easier to do that and get reimbursed than to sort through everything.
I am in no way approving of arson though, you animals." - itsame-throwaway.
4 The Destroyer
"I've done this several times....
If there is something electronic at work you'd like to have and you have time to do it.... open it up, disable it (clip a power wire or unplug a wire on the circuit board), then close it up. When someone tries to operate it it wont work. They will think it is worn out or malfunctioned or broken and throw it away. Go into the garbage later to retrieve it. Open it up, undo your previous disabling and now you have it. Working and everything." - dirtymoney
This sounds a little bit sketchy to me – like, would you really just throw something in the garbage just because it does not work? I would probably try to get it fixed somehow, I mean, it is not like electronics are cheap. But if you are lucky enough and your company does decide to simply throw things in the garbage, then go for it.
3 The Follower
"Leave your house reasonably dressed, find a large group of people in suits walking together downtown and follow them to wherever they're going. It's probably some meetup/event. There's always free food, maybe some coffee, and if you're lucky, there'll be free alcohol. Eat whatever you want and leave. I did this for years semi-regularily and was only caught once and told to leave. Pretty sure it's illegal in some way but not entirely sure." - ThatLaggyNoob
Someone else added something pretty important:
"Also works for weddings. I was wearing a suit and randomly walked into a wedding. They were serving cake so I grabbed a slice and congratulated the bride on the way out." - halalf
2 The Lawyer
"If you are trying to get out of a contract for personal services in New York state, you can file suit in Vermont. Once you get to trial you'll have to prove that the contract was somehow to be performed in Vermont, but you don't have to prove that just to make the filing. The other side will definitely challenge jurisdiction but, again, that doesn't stop you from actually making the filing. Once the filing is made, the defendant will receive notice usually by certified mail. When the go to check the mail, shoot them in the face." - voice_of_craisin
Wow, that escalated quickly, but I guess it is an illegal hack, so yeah... umm... yeah. So many things to do just to end up in a place where you could have been without all the hassle. I'd say this needs revising, but good effort.
** The Things does not condone murder in any form... so yeah. Whatever you do, avoid shooting anyone in the face!
1 The Mail Genius
"When you wanna mail a letter but you don't wanna pay postage, put the recipient's address in the corner where your own address would normally go. The letter will get marked 'insufficient postage' and be returned to sender. But since you put the other person's address it will get 'returned' to them instead of you." - Panhead09
This is seriously the most amazing thing I have ever read, and here I am, just sitting and wondering why I haven't thought of this before? If there was ever a Nobel Prize for illegal stuff, this person definitely deserves it – or is at least a very strong contender.
But then, someone had to take all the fun away from it:
"It doesn't work, post office doesn't bother handling the posts with no stamps on it – asked a postman once." - hanaanmhd
They call this Redditor the dream-crusher.