Why do you enjoy toying with our emotions so much, Internet? It seems nothing from our childhoods is safe on the internet these days, especially among the seedy underbelly of fandom that congregates on Tumblr. Sure, there are tons of shareable GIFS and photos from our favorite movies and TV shows, but there’s also the occasional inappropriate meme floating around that makes us go, WTF.
But, that’s what happens when a bunch of perverted fans get together and meme-ify our favorite movies and TV shows. The Disney ones, in particular, are the most shocking since so much of their brand is all about wholesome, inoffensive family entertainment.
If we look a little closer, though, some of these memes are not far off in their innuendo. Even Disney films have moments of questionable morality, bad habits, and awkward sexuality. So now, come with us as we explore a magic carpet ride of inappropriate Disney memes that will leave you speechless.
15 You'll never sing it the same way again
Hakuna my tatas; what a wonderful phrase. Hakuna my tatas; ain't no passing craze. If you thought “Hakuna Matata” was fun to sing before, try singing it any other way but this way from now on. Impossible.
Nala's all about Simba in this moment, meme or not. She's got her bedroom eyes on and is totally DTF. Since she’s pretty sassy to begin with, it’s totally realistic she could have uttered this to get Simba’s attention. He was so about the Hakuna Matata lifestyle, how could he say no to her?
Let’s not forget, they are animals after all and since lions are ferocious beasts, their sex is probably pretty crazy, too. Lion in the streets, wild beast in the sheets, am I right? Still, how awkward to think about lions doing it, especially in a Disney movie where they're kinda anthropomorphic. At least Nala's eyebrow game is on point, though. Do you think she uses Urban Decay?
14 Hint hint, wink wink
Oh, Genie. You rascal, you. Always whispering in Aladdin’s ear things like “Just bee yourself,” tryin’ to get Princess Jasmine to fall in love with him. You’re a sly devil you are.
Genie is the ultimate wing man, though. He gives Aladdin love advice, dresses him like a prince and throws the most awesomely epic parade for him through the streets of Agrabah. Who wouldn’t want him on their side, getting them laid?
Despite all that, you know that he’d be the first one to spread gossip about Aladdin’s love life, at least while he was still a genie anyway. Dude’s got the biggest mouth in the city; he’d flap his gums off to anyone who’d listen, including Jasmine’s father, the Sultan.
Since Genie’s so clever, however, he’d probably speak in puns just to throw people off and then secretly laugh at them behind their backs. She let a lad in. Aladdin! Classic Genie shenanigans.
13 Admit it, you were thinking it already
Who doesn’t love a mashup meme? This one’s so Tumblr it hurts. Disney, Anchorman, and The Office, I mean, duh! The best part is the fact that they used Steve Carrell as Brick Tamland instead of Michael Scott, even though “That’s what she said,” is from The Office. So good.
Let’s all be real for a moment though and talk about this quote from The Little Mermaid. How many of you sniggered while singing “Under the Sea” as a teenager or adult? “Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me.” That’s what she said is the obvious response.
Sebastian is a bit of freak, isn’t he; but do mermaids even have vaginas? Plus, how does he even know what it’s like down there? He has claws for hands. No woman in her right mind would let something sharp like that touch her lady parts. Then there’s the fact that he’s standing on some clams. If that’s not obvious innuendo, we don’t know what is.
12 So that's what happened to Cinderella's necklace
Leave it to the internet to turn an innocent scene in Cinderella into a full on anal fetish porn. As if the mice couldn’t just be trying to help poor Cinderella restring the necklace that her evil stepsister just tore off her neck jealously. Nope. Instead, Jaq and Gus are engaged in some homosexual ass play, getting off on those Fairy Godmother-made spheres of sphincter stimulating goodness.
Maybe Walt Disney was secretly a freak in the bedroom and actually intended for us to know about his anal fetish. If so, he was truly ahead of his time since Cinderella came out in 1950. Sex toys have certainly been around for a lot longer than that, but definitely weren’t talked about or shown in mainstream films or television until at least ten years later.
Whatever was going on in Walt’s head, those beads must be really stuck in there if Jaq has to pull so hard. That or Gus has a tiny mouse anus. Just remember to count the beads before you stop, Jaq. We wouldn’t want one to be unaccounted for in the depths of Gus’ bowels.
11 Um, TMI Zeus
Thanks for sharing, Zeus! His joyous expression is what really sells this meme. How can you not laugh while looking at this, especially if you imagine it in Rip Torn’s voice?
Even the god of thunder has nocturnal emissions or has to give his monkey a yank once in a while. He doesn’t need an excuse to just rub one out in the middle of Mt. Olympus. After all, this is the god who’s the wh*riest of them all, sleeping with every pretty goddess and mortal he sets his lustful eyes on.
You’d think with a wife like Hera, he’d try to settle down and become more faithful, but let’s not forget that Hera’s also his sister. Yeah, this guy spreads his seed without any regard for morality or consent. When you think of it like that, it makes total sense that he’d jizz in his toga. Doesn’t make it any less creepy, though.
10 Disney princes need to learn about consent
What is it about Disney princes and their need to kiss sleeping princesses all the time? Sure Aurora and Snow White needed true love’s kiss to break Maleficent and the Evil Queen’s spells on them, but don’t they have any say in the matter? Maybe after being in a coma for such a long time, they’ve reevaluated their lives and decided they don’t love their supposed Prince Charmings. Stranger things have happened, especially in Disney movies.
Guys can’t just go around touching and kissing sleeping girls. Aside from the fact that neither Aurora nor Snow White could give consent, both were teenagers when their movies took place. There are laws in place to prevent things like that; it’s called statutory rape. Maybe there should be an alternate ending to these movies where Aurora and Snow White wake up, backhand those asshole princes, and run away together. They have way more in common with each other than some stuffy, royal, pretty boys anyway, Les-bi-honest here.
9 LOL once you get it
Does anyone else think it’s strange that Andy’s toys are named Woody and Buzz? Granted, those are the names they came with, and they’re referencing western actor Woody Strode and astronaut Buzz Aldrin, but still. Why those two names specifically?
Seeing as Pixar loves to have hidden meanings for everything and subliminally communicate with their audience, could it be that the names of Andy’s favorite dolls referred to something else as well? Something more sexual, maybe?
This meme confirms all our suspicions about Pixar’s ulterior motives. Buzz and Woody? Those are the most perfect names for sex toys we’ve ever heard! Buzz has to be a vibrator obviously and Woody is likely a dildo, although hopefully, it’s not actually made of wood. Splinters, anyone?
Leave it to Buzz to explain this concept to a naive Woody. We’re not named after famous people after all, we’re named after Andy’s mom’s sex toys! Poor Woody. All his illusions of grandeur were probably shattered.
8 Us too, Shang
Falling in love with Mulan had to be pretty confusing for Shang. First, she was masquerading as Ping, a boy soldier in the battalion he commanded. Shang grew quite fond of Ping, especially after he saved him from the avalanche.
Then he finds out Ping is actually a she. Women aren’t allowed to serve in the military and the sentence for Mulan’s dishonor is supposed to be death. But how could Shang kill the person who saved his life, especially if that person has breasts and a pretty face?
So does that make Shang pansexual if he liked Mulan as Ping and when she was identifying as a girl? And is Mulan really heterosexual or a trans man, more comfortable as a man than a woman? I mean, she was pretty crappy at bringing honor to her family as a woman, so why not? Whatever either of them were, gender politics sure are confusing, especially within the contexts of a Disney film.
7 Let's face it, the blue fairy was kinda perverted
OK, so who agrees that Pinocchio’s nose is the most phallic metaphor for good behavior ever? Don’t tell lies or your nose will grow exponentially? Be a good boy or you’ll end up with a skinny penis on your face? What’s up with that?
It wasn’t Pinocchio’s fault, though. The Blue Fairy brought him to life and made him that way. Oh sure she claims it’s to test his capability of becoming a real boy, knowing right from wrong and all that, but we know otherwise. She was just some perverted fairy who got off on seeing Pinocchio’s d*ck face grow as he tried to learn how to be good.
She probably left his nose like that when she turned him into a real boy and visited him during the night. “Pinocchio, tell me I’m ugly,” she’d demand. And then Pinocchio would respond “You’re ugly,” a total lie, and whoops! There goes his nose. Hey, why is the Blue Fairy trying to suffocate him with her...oh...
6 Jailbait much?
Disney’s version of Pocahontas is probably the worst adaptation of a true story ever. She didn’t even end up with the right guy in the end! OK, so she gets with John Rolfe in Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World, but direct-to-video sequels hardly count.
Not only that, but she’s not even the right age in the movie. If you’re going to tell the story of a Native American princess, at least be honest about how creepy men were back then, marrying young girls who just barely hit puberty. Guess you can’t blame them though since people rarely lived past thirty at the time.
Pocahontas was actually eleven when she first met John Smith and supposedly saved him from execution. That means, by the end of the film, she’s probably only twelve and she certainly doesn’t look like any twelve-year-old we’ve ever met, pageant girls aside. Talk about jailbait. John Smith’s at least twice her age, but then again, that’s never stopped a man even now.
5 Tink's been a very bad girl
Did anyone else think Tinkerbell was overly sexualized, too? Yes, she’s a mythological being, but she’s got the face of a twelve-year-old. What is it with Disney and fetishizing young girls?
Tinkerbell and Peter Pan’s relationship was kinda weird, though wasn’t it? She flew into a jealous rage anytime Wendy was around and loved to pout and preen around Peter. Doesn’t she realize he’s never going to grow up? If she wants a man-child, she can have him. Less around for the rest of us to deal with.
But what was the nature of their relationship? Seems like Peter was just using her for her pixie dust. Did he always have to tap dat ass just to get some? So when she was mad at him, does that mean she held out on sex and pixie dust? Ha! Now you can’t fly, d*ck! Disney should tell that story next time. Seems a lot more interesting than the thousand other adaptation of Peter Pan coming out all the time.
4 Wait 'til you see my blasphemy
Has anyone else rewatched The Hunchback of Notre Dame as an adult and realized how effed-up Frollo was? Obviously, he was the villain of the film, but damn, he was an absolutely disgusting human being. Not only did he try to kill Quasimoto more than once, but he verbally abused him and imprisoned him into a life of isolation. Let’s not forget his genocidal ambitions for the gypsies and lustful advances toward Esmeralda either.
The supposed Minister of Justice, devoted to the church and his faith, couldn’t get over that gypsy booty. All he wanted was to bend Esmeralda over and have his way with her. He couldn’t wait to show her the D. Although Disney’s version of Frollo was much nastier than the original, at least they left out the part where he tries to rape Esmeralda and later has her hanged. Leave it to Disney to find a happy ending for a Victor Hugo novel, one of the most depressing writers of all time.
3 Guess Disney characters are anatomically correct
One of the brilliances of A Goofy Movie was how it made you forget these were cartoon characters you were watching. The story was so poignant and relatable: a father just wants his son to love and accept him for who he is because he’s all he has. Goofy’s character is the perfect illustration of the embarrassing dad trying to reconnect with his teenage son.
Most of us can probably relate with Max more than Goofy at this point in our lives. Did your parents take you on a road trip because they were afraid you were lost to them, too? It’s a universal concept that all parents and children go through, especially single parents.
Aside from relating to the plight of the characters, A Goofy Movie also gave us another major realization. Goofy actually had a wife. He now has a son. Wait a minute; that means someone had sex with Goofy? Oh god! Childhood ruined! Disney, as much as we love Goofy, you got a little too real for us with A Goofy Movie.
2 This is what addiction looks like, kids
Monterey Jack was one of the best characters from Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers. He always had some crazy Australian expression for things and served as a kind of guardian for Gadget. Even though he disliked and even feared cats immensely, we can’t hold it against him since a cat did destroy his home.
Although Monterey Jack loved traveling and working with Chip ‘n Dale, what he loved most was cheese. Considering his entire family was named after a type of cheese, it must have been in his blood or something. While we’re right there with him concerning cheese, Monterey was more than a little obsessed with it. In fact, let’s just be honest and call it what it was: an addiction.
When Monterey Jack smelled cheese, he went into a trance of epic proportions where all he wanted was to find the cheese and devour it. We’re pretty sure his cheese-attacks, as they were called, were equivalent to a drug addict getting a fix. He often went to great lengths to get the cheese, including putting him and his friends’ lives in danger. Way to introduce kids to addictions at an early age, Disney.
1 Try and get this image out of your head; just try
Whoever animated Gaston’s chest hair probably has an eternal grudge against the songwriter for “Gaston” in Beauty and the Beast, but at least we weren’t exposed to the rest of his hairy body. Was it really necessary to tell us that every last inch of him is covered in hair? The inch part is what really drives it home. How can you not think of his nether regions at that point? Gross.
Beast, on the other hand, has him beat in the hairiness department. Perhaps that’s the real reason Gaston wanted to kill him; the Beast was hairier and therefore more manly than Gaston. It wasn’t the Beast’s choice to be like that, though. He was really a prince trapped in a beast’s body, which brings up an interesting question.
All of the other people in the Beast’s castle were turned into inanimate objects brought to life because they resembled them. While the enchantress probably turned him into a beast for his cruelty at turning her away, what if it was because he resembled a beast physically, too? We’ll let you sit on that one for a while.