For decades, people have been accusing Disney of inserting inappropriate subliminal messages into their family-friendly films. The Little Mermaid is supposedly full of penises, both in the film and on promotional materials. The word "sex" is allegedly spelled out in a number of films using things like stardust and human hair. The internet loves a good conspiracy theory, especially when it involves a major corporation with a wholesome image like Disney.
Sometimes those allegations actually turn out to be true. Other times, images are taken out of context which often lead to hilarious assumptions about Disney characters (and their sexualities). There are also tons of adult jokes in both Disney and Pixar films that luckily go over the heads of kids, but keep their parents entertained. However it's important to keep in mind what Jafar told us disguised as the prisoner in Aladdin, ”Things aren't always as they seem.” Regardless of whether Disney managed to fool us all with their squeaky clean image, we've compiled a list of 15 inappropriate Disney posts your eyes will desperately want to unsee.
15 Sexy hair
On first glance, this promo image from Tangled looks pretty normal. It's a little kinky, seeing as Rapunzel has wrapped up Flynn in her obscenely long hair, but nothing too obviously sexual. However, if we look a little closer, we'll see that Disney is at it again with hiding one of their subliminal messages. You could argue that we're just seeing what we want to see, but now that you do see it, it's impossible to unsee the word.
Among Rapunzel's hair, the word "sex" is spelled out much like it was in the sky during The Lion King. Apparently, Disney animators wanted to make sure you knew that Rapunzel and Flynn were, in fact, doing it. If you were locked up in a tower for your entire life, we’re pretty sure you’d be DTF as soon as possible to make up for all that time you could have been messing around. Plus, Flynn would totally be one of those guys who just makes you laugh until it turns into sexy time.
14 Peter's peter
Everyone remembers that scene from Peter Pan when he's looking at his own shadow, but few of us paid close enough attention to the shadow itself. As he danced with himself, something else created a shadow between his legs—and it wasn't Tinkerbell (although, she probably spent a lot of time down there too). If you look closely, it looks like Peter's peter made an appearance. Sure it could have been his little dagger, but what fun would that be? The placement is too obvious to have been an accident.
Peter was pretty cocky so it's no surprise he would have been turned on by his own shadow. He was always tooting his own horn, if you know what we mean. Still, it was probably pretty embarrassing for him since it looks pretty small and he was trying to impress Wendy. Although, it's not like there are too many girls in Neverland unless you count Tiger Lily or the mermaids, so maybe Peter wasn't aware of how tiny his little guy actually was.
13 Pinocchio has a woody
Even grown men who play with puppets need companionship. Geppetto had no idea what he was getting himself into when he wished for Pinocchio to be a real boy. All he wanted was a son to keep him company (and to make his chosen profession seem less creepy). So the Blue Fairy came along and granted his wish, although Pinocchio still remained part puppet until he proved himself worthy of a soul.
Although he was made of wood, it appears Pinocchio was anatomically correct even before he became a real boy. While he is performing in a puppet show, he gets a little too friendly with a Dutch girl puppet. While they’re dancing, she backs that ass up right into his crotch and is pleasantly surprised by what she finds. Pinocchio must have become quite excited by the sight of that Dutch booty coming towards him. His wooden member must have been at full attention. Alright, enough of the d*ck jokes.
Disney sure does love putting inappropriate images on their movie posters. What appears as a normal image of either Mufasa or Simba in the clouds, actually has a lot more going on. It‘s like one of those brain teasers when there’s a second picture hidden within the most obvious one that everyone sees at first. If you carefully trace the outline of the lion's nose and over his eyes, a rear view of a topless woman in her underwear appears.
Instead of the king of beasts appearing above the African plains, the upper torso of a woman floats above the Serengeti. We’re not exactly sure what Disney was trying to say by putting a half-naked lady where a lion was supposed to be, but perhaps it's just an attempt at hiding a dirty image just for the hell of it. It‘s actually pretty obvious once you see it, especially because the lion only has one eye, which is an odd choice.
11 Vag flash
Sometimes art imitates life as is the case with this fan-created image of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty out on the town. Aurora looks on as Cinderella exits the limo with her legs wide open for all to see. For some reason, her dress is either way shorter than in the film or it's been pulled back on purpose so she can expose herself to the paparazzi. Plus, it looks like she's not wearing any underwear either. Yikes.
Instantly we think of when Lindsay Lohan famously flashed her crotch not one, not two, but three times to the paparazzi. Two of those times were getting out of cars or limos. None of those times did she look anywhere near as glamorous as two Disney Princesses though. At least someone had the decency to use Gus the Mouse as a human shield so as not to ruin everyone's childhood with the image of Cinderella's lady parts burned into their brains. Now if only we could erase the image of Lindsay's vag from our minds.
10 Get Buzzed
This is what happens when you have products made in China and don't pay your workers a living wage. Sure, you could probably just turn the top part around so that the straw isn't positioned to look like it's Buzz's penis, but it still has a very obvious design flaw. Can you imagine a parent's face realizing, as their child is drinking from this, what it actually looks like they're doing? The water bottle must have been recalled especially after this picture inevitably went viral. There are probably still some floating around on eBay though.
The best part about this photo isn't just the fact that a child's cup has it's straw over Buzz Lightyear’s crotch; it's his expression. He has his arms folded over his chest as if he's waiting for you to suck him off; that's why the caption is so perfect. His eyebrows are raised and he’s smiling as if to say, ”Well? Get on with it then.”
9 Aladdin's secret
Why God, why? We can never unsee this image of what Aladdin might look like without his clothes on. Instead of him just wearing harem pants, someone came up with the brilliant idea that he actually has weirdly-shaped legs that bulge out at the bottom making his lower-body look like a giant ball sack. The artist even added hair to the bottom part of his legs, which just screams hairy balls. The rest of him is completely hairless, so why else would they do that?
Since only a small area between his leg is blurred out, we're guessing he isn't very well endowed, which is a shame considering the top half of his body is pretty hot. There must be something in Agrabah's water that turns street rats into mutants. Princess Jasmine's pants also bulge out at the bottoms, so maybe she had a milder case of the condition too.
8 Celestial boobies
Even the Sorcerer's Apprentice can appreciate the female form. A bunch of stars surround Mickey in an interesting pattern that we wouldn't have given a second thought to had it not been for those two extra stars on the bottom. Now instead of resembling an upside down heart, it appears that Mickey is holding up his arms in praise of a pair of celestial boobies. Are they Minnie’s? Do mice even have boobs? Anything's possible when you're anthropomorphic, we guess.
It’s too bad the fireworks at Disneyland don't come in this shape. They'd certainly get a lot more respect from adults if they hid as many subliminal messages in their fireworks and parades as they do in their movies and promotional materials. We guess it wouldn't be fair to women though. Disney could easily explain away two circles with smaller circles in the middle as eyes, but they’d have a lot harder time explaining fireworks that look phallic. We suppose they could always pull a Death to Smoochy and call it a rocket ship.
7 Drive-by porn
Nevertheless, it's pretty messed up that they were put there in the first place. Disney denied it was one of their animators, instead blaming it on someone during post-production, but no one has ever come forward to admit it. Fight Club referenced this when Tyler Durden splices porn into a child's film, traumatizing the children in the audience. If you happen to have a copy of the 1999 release of The Rescuers on VHS, it might be time to break it out and see the scandalous Disney moment for yourself.
6 Donald's bulge
It's so easy to ruin our childhoods when we take animation out of context. This still was grabbed from one of the early cartoons called Wide Open Spaces. It looks like Donald Duck has some very specific plans tonight. In the film, he decides to camp under the stars on an air mattress. While he's trying to get comfortable, a bulge suddenly appears around his nether regions. Donald touches himself as the bulge moves around, surprised to find he can't make it go away. Did he take Viagra or something? Call 911 if it lasts for more than four hours, Donald.
For a character who walks around with no pants on, you'd think he'd be more familiar with his reproductive organs. Then again, we never actually see his junk despite the fact that he's half-naked all the time. He has to be able to do it though, right? After all, his girlfriend is Daisy Duck and she's always making eyes at him.
5 Fifty shades of Beast
Since Belle basically has Stockholm Syndrome, it's not too far off to assume that she and Beast are probably doing it, too. They might even have some sort of BDSM arrangement going on. While this depiction has her in a mask, she's not likely to be the submissive type. Despite being stuck as an animal for however many years, Beast would probably relish in Belle giving him a good spanking.
Still, this picture instantly brings to mind Fifty Shades of Grey. Fans of E. L. James’ kinky BDSM romance novel will remember Christian and Anastasia’s sensory deprivation scene in the Red Room. Anastasia dons a pair of headphones and a mask just as Belle is doing as she dances with Beast. Although the reference is pretty funny, imagining Disney characters doing the things they do in the book is enough to give anyone's childhood ruining nightmares for years. Bestiality, anyone?
4 So that's how baby lions are made
Who didn't see the sexual tension between Simba and Nala even when they were kids? They were always pouncing on each other and playing around. But, anyone who has watched The Lion King knows that Nala was the one who always liked Simba more. She was the instigator when they were young and when they were reunited as teenagers which makes sense since girls usually develop crushes earlier than boys do, even in the animal world.
Even knowing that they eventually get together doesn't make this photo any less cringey. Two lion cubs are basically doing it in front of everybody. Did they really have to rub it in by reminding us that these two make a baby together? Rafiki is even in the corner holding up the baby for all to see. Now every time we watch The Lion King it'll be impossible not to think of Nala and Simba getting it on in front of the other animals.
3 What a d**khead
Even by Disney standards, this still from Hercules is pretty obviously sexual. The river guardian gets a bump on his head that grows to be quite large. However, it ends up looking more like a penis than anything else—especially because of the ball-shaped lumps that make up his eyebrows underneath the bump. How did this even get past the censors? Even a 5-year-old could tell that this blue guy has a phallus on his head.
Did they really have to have the horseshoe ring around it though? Now, not only will we think of this image every time we watch Hercules, but also every time we just happen to play horseshoes. To play it safe, it's probably a good idea to not start a game if you're aroused, guys. We can't be held responsible for any horseshoes that might get thrown at your crotch or your head. Blame those perverts at Disney.
2 Feeling for PJ’s pee-pee
Here's another brilliant example of animation taken out of context. Goofy's son, Max, is rummaging around the front of his friend PJ's pants, probably just retrieving something he had put in there (which is pretty strange even for a cartoon). It looks like he's reaching for one of those old-school cordless phones. Now, why would that be the front of his pants unless it's a metaphor for something else?
It looks an awful lot like Max is actually trying to touch the guy’s weiner. We know they're best friends and all, but we didn't know they were that close. They both seem to be enjoying themselves quite a bit, however. Perhaps Max wasn't really in love with Roxanne after all; he just picked the prettiest girl in school because nobody would question that. It's actually quite genius when you think about it. We bet you'll never look at Goofy's son the same way now.
1 When Pooh thinks about you he touches himself
Speaking of Disney characters who touch themselves, it looks like Pooh is having a bit of fun on a picnic with Piglet. Usually, you can find Pooh’s hands elbow deep in a honey pot, but this time, his hands are someplace a little more scandalous. Pooh is like an overgrown 3-year-old, walking around with no pants on and playing with his private parts. Sure he's a bear, but we've never seen any actual bears wear clothes, have you?
Maybe Pooh and Piglet weren't having a picnic after all. Where's the food, huh? Pigs eat corn and other vegetables, right? There's no stray honey pot laying around either. Maybe they were just looking at clouds together or floating paper boats—like the one on Pooh's head—down a river. But then why does Pooh have his hand over his junk and where is Piglet’s right hand, come to think of it? We’re not sure how a bear and a pig would do it, but we’ll thank Disney for leaving that image permanently burned into our brains.