Harry Potter has the best fandom, hands down. With the wealth of information and elaborate story J.K. Rowling has created, there’s just so much to analyze and talk about. Everyone has their favorite characters and stories within the larger story that they’re passionate about. And that’s why there’s so much Harry Potter fan fiction out there. If you’ve ever wandered onto one of those sites or written your own fan fiction, you’ll know just how weird and perverse some of those fan fictions can get.
It doesn’t stop there, though. There are tons of hilarious Harry Potter memes that reflect the awkward teenage experience seen throughout the books. Puberty has never been so funny when told through the eyes of Harry, Ron and Hermione.
Harry Potter fans have a sense of humor that's unique to the series due to their intense familiarity with the material. What fan hasn’t made up a spell for something because it sounded funny or created a Harry Potter pickup line? And so, from the depths of the internet, we bring you 15 Inappropriate Harry Potter memes that are pure magic. Accio memes!
15 You mean he didn't use Protego?
Harry’s journey through adolescence had to have been fraught with sexual frustration and lust. There’s no way he didn’t get freaky with a few girls during his time at Hogwarts, but maybe it was more than just a few (after all, he was The Chosen One). Of course, it was a children’s book (or rather, Young Adult literature), so J.K. Rowling probably didn’t want to get into too many of the gory details of puberty and teenage life. However, that hasn’t stopped the internet from imagining all the conversations that happened between the tumultuous events in the story. You know, the regular teenage banter that adults like to forget happens.In this particular type of meme, Harry says something shocking (usually of a sexual nature), much to Hermione’s disgust. Listen, dude, just because you’re The Chosen One, doesn’t give you the right to spread disease throughout the entire Hogwarts student body. Stop trying to get into Hermione’s pants and pretend like you and Ron are cool. Love the pun, though, bro.
14 Hermione is gorgeous
One of the things that made the Harry Potter films so special is that we got to see the kids in the films grow up before our very eyes. Harry, Ron, Hermione and all the other Hogwarts students started off looking like babies, when suddenly, they were teenagers on the verge of their 20s. It had to be surreal for the adult actors (and to a lesser degree, the kids themselves) when they looked back on the films.One of the most awkward parts of watching a person go from age 11 to 20, though, is the rapid succession of "Aww aren’t they cute" to "Holy crap, they got hot." In the last few movies, the world watched as Hermione really grew into herself, if you know what we mean. Obviously, the guys noticed, too. How could they not? Hermione Granger? More like Hermione Gorgeous.
13 Harry Potter: Savage AF
Whoa, Harry. That sure escalated quickly. You are savage AF talking about Malfoy’s mom like that. If he said that to you, you’d probably use the Avada Kedavra spell on him in a second. Keep your mothers out of it. Lord knows they both put their butts on the line for you (especially yours, Harry). Why do guys love to insult each other’s moms so much anyway? If it wasn’t for them, neither Harry nor Malfoy would even exist. Someone should teach them both a little respect.
Nothing like a little rivalry with your arch enemy to get the blood pumping, though. Malfoy looks like his normal sniveling self, but Harry seems ready to pop a blood vessel. Maybe somebody tried to slander his good name or Professor Trelawney predicted his death again. Either way, dude needs to take it down a notch. Even Crabbe is like "WTF, Harry?" Quick, Hermione! What’s the spell for chilling someone out?
12 Oh no, he didn't
And here Harry thought he was being clever, telling Snape to stop screaming his name. He does have a habit of saying "Mr. Potter" or "Potter" on a pretty regular basis. Snape probably gets off on it since he didn’t have the guts to stand up to Harry’s dad, James, when he used to bully Snape at school. "Potter" has now become his mantra for healing and getting over the trauma of adolescence.
Although Harry’s clearly taking after his dad here, Snape’s one step ahead of him with—you guessed it—another comeback about his mother. That sure made angsty, annoying Mr. Potter shut his mouth. But, Snape would never actually say anything like that to Harry. Sure, he probably wishes it was true since he was pretty much obsessed with Harry’s mom, Lily, but he’d never insult her memory like that. Then again, Snape was a master double agent who fooled everyone, even Lord Voldemort, so maybe it’s not so far-fetched for him to be so harsh.
11 Ron has the worst pickup lines...
There are some pretty ridiculous Harry Potter pick-up lines out there, but most of them are filled with puns and are super cringe-worthy. This one’s not that much better, but it’s Ron’s expression that really sells it. He’s just lying down in the common room asking Hermione a seemingly innocent, school-related question and she answers accordingly. Little does she know that he’s about to turn that question into a pick-up line.
Seems like something Ron would actually do. He’d be the one resorting to cheesy pickup lines since he always has to live in the shadow of his best friend, The Chosen One. Somehow, they must have worked on Hermione since they ended up together. He must have just worn her down since they spent so much time together over the years. She could have easily had Victor Krum or even Harry for that matter, but her heart belonged to the guy with these kind of jokes. Don’t worry, we can relate, Hermione.
10 ...And the worst luck
Poor Ron. He was always getting shafted in the books and the movies. Harry got all the attention for being The Boy Who Lived, Hermione got all the attention for being an academic all-star, but Ron was just Ron—that Weasley kid who hangs out with Harry and Hermione. Ron had no particular skill except being pretty good at Wizard’s Chess and saving Harry when he needed saving.
Then, he developed a crush on Hermione...only to constantly feel jealous about how much time she spent with Harry. Anyone remember that disturbing apparition of Harry and Hermione that came out of Slytherin’s locket when Ron was about to destroy it? Naturally, it must have been pretty weird for him when Harry started dating his sister, too. His paranoia must have been through the roof at that point. With all the adventures they had, constantly putting their lives on the line for the greater good, there probably was a moment where Harry admitted he lost his virginity to Ginny, much to Ron’s agony.
9 Snape's got you covered, girl
Oh, Snape. You sure know how to take care of a lady, buying her sanitary pads when she’s on her period. Not every guy has the balls to do that, you know? We shouldn’t have expected anything less from you, though. After all, you are The Half-Blood Prince. As the inventor of the Sectumsempra spell, you know all about having something bleed for five to seven days.
Snape probably would have bought Lily’s sanitary pads for the rest of his life if it meant she was alive and was on speaking terms with him. Although there was probably a spell to get rid of the blood without the use of a pad or tampon. Dude was certifiably obsessed with Harry’s mom, despite the fact that he was probably friend-zoned early on. Lucky for him, Lily was too good to take advantage of it.
8 Dobby would do anything for Harry...anything
OK, this one is just...disturbing. Dobby was a sweet, loyal creature that would have done anything Harry Potter asked of him (since he did eventually set him free from the Malfoys with a sock). You have to wonder if there were any sick wizards out there who took advantage of their house elves’ slave-like status and made them do all kinds of unspeakable things. You’d think that Harry Potter, of all people, would be above all that nonsense. He did join S.P.E.W. eventually, although with great reluctance.
Maybe it was Dobby’s tiny proportions or unwavering loyalty that just did it for him. Dobby is a house-elf, though, he’s not even human. If anything, he’s like an oversized baby or a really tiny old man with pointy ears and a clothing fetish. In fact, he’s considered a magical beast, which means any wizard/house-elf shenanigans would be considered bestiality. Way to totally ruin our childhoods with this image, internet.
7 Guess Ron had reason to be jealous after all
Pro-lifers, now would be the time to avert your eyes. From the looks of it, Hermione and Harry did get down on more than one occasion. Guess Ron was right to feel jealous. Seems like Harry’s none too pleased at the prospect of having a little Harry, Jr. around, though. Wonder how many of those were potentially floating around, considering how much of a player these memes make him out to be.
Ah, who are we kidding? He probably just invented that spell on the spot and prayed that it worked, never even bothering to ask Hermione if she wanted to keep the baby. Bet that wouldn’t have worked on Ginny, though. She’d been pining away for Harry since she set eyes on him. You better believe she made sure her womb was fortified with all kinds of protective spells so Harry couldn’t change his mind or try to abort their unborn children. Protego In Utero!
6 Harry wants to slyther-in
The Boy Who Lived has cheesy pickup lines for days. There are so many ways to pervert various things within the Harry Potter universe, it’s kind of ridiculous. How could Harry resist turning the Basilisk and Chamber of Secrets into innuendo? It’s ripe for the occasion. The Basilisk is a long, slithery thing that gets hard if it looks at itself and the Chamber of Secrets is a dark, wet hole that Harry entered in his second year. The jokes just write themselves when you think about it.He probably printed out a bunch of these in his second year just to spite everyone and gave them out as Valentine’s to all the hot girls in school. Since everyone thought he was the Heir of Slytherin, he probably figured he might as well see if he could get a little action out of the extra fame and attention he was receiving.
5 Try to unsee this meme, just try
So, that’s what Dumbledore was really thinking about during those meetings with Snape! While Snape was all, "Please save Lily!" Dumbledore was like, "Let me see what you have under those robes, Severus." Granted, this image of Snape was clearly a fantasy. There’s no way that greasy nosed, long-haired shlub had a bangin’ body like that. If he did, Lily probably would have chosen him over James, let’s be real.
Dumbledore is one sly guy. We all knew he was lying when he told Harry all he saw in the Mirror of Erised was socks. Little did we know it was because the truth would have rocked Harry to the core of his being and probably made him throw up in his mouth a bit. Now that you’ve seen it, there’s no way to unsee that clearly Photoshopped image of Snape. Try and watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone now without having this meme flash before your eyes. Impossible.
4 Hufflepuffs have more fun
Whoa. Slow your roll, Cedric. Just because Harry gave you the info for the first task doesn’t mean he likes you like that. No, he will not get down with you. He likes your girlfriend, Cho, not you. Guess that was all a front, though.
Who invites someone to take a bath with them anyway? That’s like something people did in ancient Roman times. A swim in a pool, sure. A dip in a jacuzzi, maybe. Even a short session in a sauna is pretty common, especially in Europe. But a bath and one where rainbow-colored bubble bath comes out of one of its many faucets, might we add? Well, just take a look at the expression on Harry’s face. If all Hufflepuffs are this freewheeling, their common room parties must get really interesting. Maybe it’s just Cedric, though. He is a sparkly vampire after all; they must get bored with conventional gender and orientation after a while.
3 It's funny because it's true
Speaking of the Prefect’s bathroom, Cedric Diggory isn’t the only one who wants to take a bath with Harry. Moaning Myrtle had a thing for Harry ever since his second year when he, Ron and Hermione discovered the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets in her bathroom. Myrtle wasn’t very popular in life, but she was quite sociable during her death. Since Harry was so nice to her, she developed quite a big crush on him.
There’s nothing she would have liked more than if Harry had died down in the Chamber of Secrets. “Oh, well...I'd just been thinking. If you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet,” she told Harry after he emerged from the Chamber. Well, isn’t that romantic? After seeing how she acted toward Harry in his fourth year, however, she wanted a little more than just to share her toilet with him. Who can forget the scene in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire where Myrtle watches Harry take a bath and even sits next to him, trying to see beyond the bubbles?
2 Matthew Lewis: master of the puberty spell
Little Neville Longbottom was always known as the nerdy one in Gryffindor, aside from Hermione. His was a different kind of nerd, though, one that stretched beyond just looking awkward and unkempt. Neville couldn’t seem to do anything right and was constantly the subject of Snape’s bullying during Potions class.
Nevertheless, his appearance was especially important to the Harry Potter filmmakers. In an interview with the UK’s Independent newspaper, Matthew Lewis, who played Neville in the films, confessed: “When we got to film three and I’d got quite tall and slimmed out a bit, they decided that they were uncomfortable with that, and thought, ‘No, we need to make him a bit geeky looking’, or geekier, I should say, so they put me in a fat suit and false teeth.” Matthew Lewis was forced to hide his evolving hotness until the fifth film when director David Yates let him ditch his messed up grill. By the time the last film came out, the world had watched the most unattractive Potter character become the hottest by far. More pics like these please, Matthew.
1 Lily who?
Speaking of Harry Potter actors who got super hot, we can’t forget about Emma Watson’s transformation either. Bushy haired and buck-toothed Hermione Granger turned into a stunning babe by the end of the Harry Potter series, there’s no doubt about that. Seems like even Professor Snape has noticed and, for once in his life, has found something worthy of giving points to Gryffindor.In fact, there’s hordes of fan fiction material out there about this very unlikely matching. All of those kids who grew up reading Harry Potter in the late '90s are now adults with smutty needs. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger are popular in Harry Potter fan fiction circles, but they aren’t even the skeeviest pairing. There’s a certain breed of female Harry Potter fan who love to engage in slash fiction, or matching up fictional characters of the same sex. How about Draco and Snape or Harry and Draco? Hey, at least it’s not as bad as Hagrid and Fang or Hermione and Dobby.