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15 Insane Conversations Overheard By Restaurant Waiters

Anyone who has ever waited tables will admit that it is one of the hardest and possibly worst jobs to ever have. The hours are long and the pay is minimal. A lot of people are rude to their waiters and don’t even tip after running them ragged. Yep, it’s not easy being a waiter, but sometimes it’s a little fun. Waiters and waitresses often go unnoticed and for some reason people don’t seem to care if they are bringing them a drink or cleaning off a nearby table when they start spilling their guts about their personal business. Waiters get to listen to some pretty strange conversations whether they want to hear them or not. They also get to witness some pretty funny scenarios. These experiences almost make those crappy tips worth it. These waiters just happened to get tables with people who don’t have filters on their mouths. Check out these 15 disturbing conversations overheard by restaurant waiters.

15 Hmm That's A Little Odd

Via whisper.sh

Sometimes you walk in during the middle or end of a conversation and are completely shocked at what you hear. A lot of times things sound stranger when they are taken out of context or you don’t know the details of the conversation. That could be what happened here, but overhearing this would probably make you glad you didn’t hear the rest of it. Most cults aren’t great and most cult members have horrible experiences that traumatize them for the rest of their lives. Of course, not all cults are so serious so maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. We will never know because the waiter didn’t catch the entire conversation. He will probably pay even less attention to other people’s conversations in the future to ensure he doesn’t hear anything like this again.

14 "Well technically he isn't my brother, so I shagged him"

Via Reddit

It seems like some people just don’t understand how families work. If you aren’t sure if you are related to someone, you probably shouldn’t be sleeping with them. Why didn’t this girl call up her friend before she hooked up with her half brother to make sure it was okay? She clearly isn’t capable of making decisions like that on her own and at least her friend could have stopped her. When it finally sets in for her, she is going to be really embarrassed and probably not like herself for a while. Was the guy just as clueless? This is one strange family. I bet holidays are awkward and weird for them. I’d like to be a fly on the wall at Thanksgiving Dinner.

13 At Least She Was Polite

Via Reddit

It’s sometimes hard for parents to explain to their children how to handle themselves in certain situations. Everyone farts, but most people know better and are more polite than to do it right at a table in a restaurant. Children often don’t care where they are, and when they have to fart, they do it. At least this little girl was polite enough to say excuse me. Do you think she got farts and burps confused for a second? Is there a better thing to say when you accidentally fart? Something tells me she wasn’t the least bit embarrassed and thought she did the right thing. The water on the other hand, was probably a little red-faced for a while. I don’t even want to think about how the poor parents felt. I bet they had a long talk with this little girl when they got home.

12 A Little Disturbing

There are just some things you don’t want to talk about or hear at a restaurant; death and dead bodies are some of them. If you are a medical student, you get used to dealing with bodies and staring death in the eyes. It becomes a normal part of your life. Although this waitress was caught off-guard by this conversation, it probably just seemed like the usual lunch talk for the people involved. It all comes down to sensitivity and what seems right and what doesn't. Hopefully the people who were sitting around these guys weren’t bothered by the thought of a cadaver falling off the table. I might gag if I heard something like that while I was trying to enjoy my soup and salad.

11 "The lady picks up a section of ribs and tosses it in the guy's face and storms out"

Via Reddit

People have probably paid to watch worse fights than this. Sometimes as a waiter you get lucky and get to see some crazy stuff. At the time it may be scary and a little strange but it’s always fun to laugh about it later. There are just too many hilarious things about this situation. Who hoards armadillos in their home and why would a couple fight over this? How many armadillos can one family need? Do they even make good pets? Who knew people could get so emotional over these animals? I can only imagine the words being exchanged during the fight. I only wish I was there to see it happen. This story is so good that I can almost picture the ribs slapping the man in the side of the face as he begs to keep his collection of armadillos.

10 Only Parents Will Understand

Via whisper.sh

Raising children is hard work; as any parent will tell you. There are certain things you expect to discuss with your child, but the difference between poop and mud isn’t one of them. Still, it’s better to talk about it and make sure the child knows the difference than find out he or she was playing in poop because they thought it was mud. A restaurant probably isn’t the best place for such a conversation, but whatever works. Most parents probably aren’t too shocked by this but a person without kids might think it’s a pretty strange thing to talk about. Those who have kids, know this just comes with being a parent. The only thing worse than explaining poop is cleaning up poop.

9 "I can't wait until you die"

Via Reddit

People really don’t put much effort into respecting their elders these days. Kids and teens don’t seem to care about them and speak to them rudely and even adults don’t appreciate them much. It’s about time the elderly decided to do something about it. This grandpa has had enough of his family’s shit and he is determined to drive them crazy until the end of his days. It may look like this kid was just being a disrespectful brat, but we don’t know what Grandpa put him through that day. Maybe he was asking him out of sarcasm. I hope Grandpa was laughing on the inside. If this kid was just being a bratty, potty mouthed twit, I hope Grandpa hit him in the shin with his cane under the table.

8 "It's too tight, I can't get it in"

Via Reddit

For some reason old people love to talk about bumping nasties and bodily functions. To them it’s really no big deal. Just a natural part of life. To the people who are listening, it’s pretty awful. Sometimes I think they know how disturbing it is to hear an old person talking about private parts, and they talk that much louder on purpose. This waiter just happened to be at the wrong table at the wrong time and was basically forced to listen to this couple talk about their sex life. The old man didn't seem to mind a bit, but his wife wasn’t too happy about it. Even she wasn’t as embarrassed as the waiter. I bet this ornery old guy is fun to joke around with; as long as he doesn’t start talking about private matters.

7 "I'm gonna need you to shut the hell up"

Via Reddit

Sometimes you wish you could unhear something but you just can’t. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this is one of those times. Not everyone knows how to keep their private life private, and for some reason, this guy just couldn’t help himself. You have to laugh at people who are so open about their sex lives and admire them for getting along so well and making each other laugh. They were probably hoping their waiter was laughing too. Little did they know he was traumatized. At least they were nice enough to leave a big tip. It was probably their way of saying thanks. I bet he never forgets this couple for as long as he lives; unfortunately for him.

6 Weird And Sad

Anyone who has ever been on a bad date or stuck it out and stayed in a relationship long after it should have ended, can probably relate to this. Sometimes you just don’t care about the person sitting on the other side of the table or what they have to say. Instead of listening, you tune them out and have your own conversation. These people were probably so used to doing this that it didn’t even seem strange to them. Someone on the outside looking in though, was probably confused as hell. It's sad that two people could treat each other this way and confusing as to why they would continue the relationship. It was probably even more confusing for the waiter who had to witness this all go down.

5 "Weirdest table I ever had"

Via Reddit

Many of us have worked as waiters or waitresses and know how long and boring a typical day can be. While many people hope for a calm and peaceful day, others just wish something would happen that is a little entertaining and helps pass the time. After a few hour of refills and complaints about food, a serving a family like this would be refreshing and maybe even fun? The truth is, this family probably isn’t all that strange, they just aren’t good at hiding their craziness. We are all guilty of doing silly and weird things with our immediate family, who we trust and be ourselves around. These people were just trying to cheer their kids up after a bird funeral. This waitress should be lucky that she got a glimpse into their lives and a good laugh.

4 It Is Cheese!

If you have ever traveled to a foreign country, you know what it’s like to be unfamiliar with the way things work there. That’s clearly what was going on with these men. Since they were able to laugh at their mistakes, it probably isn’t the first time they did something silly like this because they were confused or simply didn’t know any better. Can you imagine what the waitress was thinking when she saw this happen? At least she was nice to them and set them straight without making things worse. I wonder if they tell this same story to their friends and laugh at how silly it was? At least they learned a valuable lesson about parmesan cheese that day. A tasty lesson at that!

3 True Love Does Exist

Via Reddit

Just when you think there is no such thing as true love, you hear something like this and everything changes. Have more beautiful words ever been spoken? This guy would make Shakespeare jealous with his poetic talents. I can’t believe his partner even has to question his feelings for her. Just go ahead and admit it, you’re jealous. When is the last time someone talked to you like this? If I heard this in a restaurant, I don’t think I would be able to handle it. I would either bust out laughing or run off because I peed my pants from laughing. Either way, there would be a lot of laughing. I wonder if anyone else heard it and if they were disturbed or entertained?

2 Is It Glamorous Though?

It’s sometimes hard to understand girl talk if you aren’t a part of it. Women have so many inside jokes that it’s easy to see how anyone not in on them would be confused to overheard their conversations. While prostitution is not glamorous, this phrase taken out of context is definitely hilarious. Who knows what these ladies were talking about? Maybe they were mad at their husbands and plotting ways to get even with them. Maybe they were hard up for money and needed to come up with some ideas to make the cash. I’m sure none of them were really considering prostitution or think of it as glamorous. Then again, most of us have never given prostitution a whirl so maybe it’s not as bad as we think?

1 It's So Good Though

Via whisper.sh

Everyone knows that soft ice is the best ice. It's cold enough to keep your drinks cold but also soft enough the munch on. Most people who are obsessed with soft ice wouldn’t hesitate to take some home with them from the restaurant. Of course, most people wouldn’t try to put it in their bras. I mean it would melt so you wouldn’t get to enjoy it Just dump something else out of the bowl and make room for the soft ice. It’s better than anything else you would ever eat anyways. Besides, no need to shove it in your bra when you can just ask the waitress for more. Some people will just do anything to get that soft ice. I can’t say that I blame them.

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